Week of: 11/20-26

“Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband.”
from Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew (Act V, scene 2)

Scorpio ends early this week, and Sagittarius begins, at least, as far as birthdays and sun signs are concerned. Here — so close to East Texas — which is so close to Louisiana — the predominant theme is “deep fried Turkey.” Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, either. Culinary treats are important themes. I’m oft reminded of what one feller said, “If we don’t have a fryer big enough for a turkey, this is Texas, we’ll just build one.”

Aries : There’s a growing sense of “deep fried” right now, and it’s like the cryptic allusion to Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew as the opening phrase, this has a lot to do with romance, but on a larger scale, it has to do with just to whom you owe fealty. The notion of a feudal lord is never really present in Texas, but the concept of just who — and where — you owe your loyalty is important. You’re going to want to pause and consider this question as time goes by. It’s like me, stuck with an unresolved question of just which is more important, the fishing buddies or the girlfriend. The vote is still out, and you’re likely to be facing similar, if not the very same question, when you are confronted with a situation where you’re supposed to be in two places at once. I’ve never found a happy resolution to this; although, to be fair, a girlfriend who enjoys the outdoors, hunting and fishing, and who doesn’t mind cleaning game looks like a wonderful solution. It’s just that it doesn’t ever seem to happen in the real world. Regretfully, the real world is going to face you with just such a dilemma — let me know if you find a happy compromise, I can always use the helpful tips myself.

Taurus : The upcoming holiday, one that you have experienced a great deal of fear and trepidation about, is upon you, and I promise, before this week begins, you are over the worst of it all ready. Promise. The toughest of the weird things happening happened last week. Really. There’s none of that pejorative stuff shaking you during this coming week. That’s the bad news. Or the good news. It’s like a favorite Pecan tree here, and the most important action, after it has been shaken really well, is to get out there and collect the fruit of that tree, namely Texas Pecans, perfect for baking in a pie. Pecan Pie is a favorite, especially if you can get as it pops out of the oven, a slice with a nice big scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream on top of it. Some folks tell me this “a la mode” but I figure our version of “served with Ice Cream on top” is a better way of saying it, and it doesn’t confuse the issue. So enjoy this week as you do two things, one of them is harvest the fruits of your labors, like them Pecans, and the second thing, is bake them up in pie and make sure you have enough ice cream for the top of this dish. Going to be okay, just harvest what was shaken.

Gemini : This is a week like watching the progression of a pair of dancers across the hardwood “boards” at a venue like the venerable “Broken Spoke” in South Austin. Yes, there really is a bar and restaurant with that name, and yes, cowboy hats and boots are all but required to dance there. And it’s not any kind of funky new age, disco or otherwise dancing, it’s straight ahead Country & Western Dancing. The plus to this stuff is that you get to hold onto your partner while your dancing. Of course, that little fact might be perceived as a minus, as well. But watching a skilled pair of folks out there twirling and stepping through the dance numbers is pleasurable, except when you try to duplicate their actions. That’s what this week is like. You’ve seen them do it’ you know you can imitate their actions, but when you get out there to put the “rubber to the road” your Gemini self, you wind up with two left feet. Worse, every time you think you take two steps forward, you feel like the routine calls for two steps backwards. It’s frankly unnerving as you feel like you aren’t making any progress whatsoever. You are, it just doesn’t feel like it right now. You might want to practice those dance steps in the privacy of your own trailer before you try two stepping.

Cancer : Everybody else is getting ready to party, having a party or going to a party. And then there’s you, stuck there at work, feeling left out. I would suggest that I feel sorry for you, but frankly, I don’t. I have access to what the planets will continue to do, and I know that this is a temporary condition — this feeling like all the fun and merriment is passing you by. But while everyone else is focused on escaping the drudgery of the workplace, consider that this is a good time to put your best forward, and consider this a good time to actually get some work accomplished. There is a lingering task there, a single, unavoidable job which requires special talents that no one else can posses except for a delicate Cancer like yourself. This is the time to put this to work for you. So quite feeling sorry for yourself, roll up your sleeves, and set to this task which is so important. Before your weekend arrives, you get a chance to wrap up some big deal that’s been troubling you for a while now. It won’t be the complete package just yet, but the end is in sight, and that will be a welcome relief. If you quite feeling sorry for yourself, you can turn that into professional envy of your peers before long.

Leo : It’s not exactly what you want it all to be, but you know, it’s not really as bad as you think. I know, I know, you’re going to suggest that I walk a mile in your boots, but I don’t think I can ever really fill a Leo’s boots. I’m not glorious enough. However, that doesn’t negate the fact that there is a certain disquiet rumbling from various parts of your brain, sort of like that little voice in the back or your head suggesting that there is something not right with your Leo world. Just for once, just for this week, just as soon as we all get done with this Scorpio stuff, I would really like to suggest that the miscellaneous rumbling, the vague noise which indicates discontent, that little bit of “white noise” which is busy creating interference in the Leo world is going to be okay, and whatever the disruption is, it’s going to subside as the week gets longer. It’s not you, it’s the Scorpio Sun, and just as soon as that is over, almost any day now, you’re going to start feeling as lot better.

Virgo : Did you ever go fishing, or set out on a similar kind of a trip, and get there, and then discover that you’ve got a few items you left behind? Nothing too serious, but you’re stuck right now trying to figure out how to start a fire without any matches. It can be done, what you do is get the cigarette lighter out of the car, after you’ve got it nice and hot, and then touch that to so shredded kindling, and then blow on that briefly, then take that little bit of flame and work with it on some larger stuff, maybe some really small sticks, and then you’re finally off and running with a fire. It’s a little bit of challenge, but I know that you can do it. I, personally, have never started a fire from just a piece of flint and steel, although, I hear tales about how my camping friends have done that. Or used a magnifying glass and created that first spark. But you’ve got a week where you keep feeling like you are ill prepared for what is coming along. And no matter how much preparation you do, there’s going to be something left out this week. The better prepared you are to improvise, the better you’re going to be able to get by. There was a character on television, a long time show in syndication, who was able to perform just such Herculean feats with nothing more than the rudiments of what was on the island — the Professor on Gilligan’s Island. (C’mon, a telephone out of coconuts? Sure.) But he’s your archetype right now, and the more you imitate him, the easier the week is.

Libra : In some circle, Mars is considered nothing more than the “god of war.” So much for this week’s ancient mythology lesson. Sure enough, Mars is in Libra, and sure enough, he’s adding to your activity level. There’s one little problem with this activity, and it’s being brought to you by a rather spurious planet influence, not directly related to Mr. Mars, but of a similar grouping. (That’s grouping, not groping, oh please.) So even though there are a number of rather nice little alignments with the planets, especially at the beginning of the week, there’s one thing you should watch out for, and it pains me to make this observation because it means you might not be buying a reading from me right now. Watch your spending. Carefully weigh your purchase before you buy. Think about it. Are you sure it’s something you really need to spend THAT much money on? While I’ll probably agree with you, I would suggest that you think about it before you do it. Perhaps this is a week to seek some sort of advice from another person, besides an astrologer, to help you make that financial decision. Or better yet, just put it off until later.

Scorpio : This week puts you in a difficult position. Not a bad place for your Scorpio self, but a difficult place for everybody else. And you can’t help but feel our pain. But you yourself, you’re not in a bad position, it’s just a simple equation where you are surrounded by peers, workers, and miscellaneous cohorts who are all having a tough time of it. There’s almost a degree of malicious glee that you derive from this situation, sort of like saying, “Oh, really?” (It’s not like you haven’t been there a time or two, and it’s not like their adverse problems are anything that a decent Scorpio hasn’t already handled a time or two.) So as this week goes along, take pity on the rest of us who seem to be having a tough time. You can be just like a Scorpio fishing buddy of mine, he was watching me shiver in the front of boat, on a cold morning, and I was only wearing a thin shirt and a vest. He tossed me an extra sweatshirt he brought — only after I had complained about the temperature for while. So this week, you are prepared to help the rest of us out. Don’t do like my buddy and let us suffer for while before you reach into your duffel bag and pull out something that will make us feel better.

Sagittarius : Get ready. Clear the decks because there’s a great day coming, my fine Sagittarius friend. Only, in as much as we would like it all to be this week, and to be sure, there are some important Sagittarius birthdays late in the week, and the sign of the Archer does, indeed start this week, we ain’t there yet — not as far all the activity that is “just a fixin’ to happen” gets here. There’s a brief flurry of frustration at the end of the week, a brief moment of confused itineraries, a brief time when you feel like you got on the wrong train. A time when you wonder if you fire off a quick e-mail to me to ask if Mercury is retrograde. Don’t waste our time, no, the little planet isn’t spinning its evil ways right now. It’s due to other planets and other orbits, but that leaves you feeling like you’re in a different orbit than most folks. At some point during the week, just when you’re feeling like you’re way out there, relax a bit, just consider that you might merely be about three steps ahead of everyone else. Of course, this begs a comparison to a crowded dance floor, and being three steps ahead of the other dancers, not to mention the band, can create a degree of confusion. Just ride it out, you’ll be okay. There’s a great day a-coming.

Capricorn : I was face to face with a Capricorn friend, and I told her a joke. She acted like she didn’t get it. “It was a joke, come on, a little irony, don’t you get it?” She looked at me with quizzical expression, and she had a sharp retort for a rejoinder. I was little put off because the comeback stung a little. “It was a joke, don’t you get it?” she asked. Right. And that’s what this week is like. Your normal obtuse but wonderfully weird Capricorn humor might be a little misunderstood. Careful with those snappy comebacks because you might pack a little too much “razor edge” in them. Cutting remarks are amusing at times, and while I understand — I even appreciate such a quick turn of the mind and lip — not everyone you deal with will appreciate your wit. You’ll find that a slightly duller wit might serve to keep you out of trouble. Go easy on the rest of us non-Capricorn types.

Aquarius : Some weeks, the Universe just serves up a hearty dose of inter planetary influences which arrive like a steaming basket of Louisiana Crawfish, and these influences get dumped on your table, and you start to pick them apart, biting the tail, and sucking the head in good Cajun fashion, enjoying all that the universe can serve you. Other weeks, just like this week, a more mellow food metaphor is appropriate, something a little more refined, something a little less messy, but perhaps, not completely bereft of delightful flavor. I never did get good at the “suck the heads” part of crawfish eating, anyway. But I did find that I could achieve the same results by sticking a finger in the crawfish head, and I could lick that. The grosser yet more delicate actions this week are what are called for. There’s some really yummy stuff going on, but you’ve got to try and approach this from a slightly more delicate perspective. While crawfish is really good eating, and in certain season, perhaps the finest grub in the world, this might be a time to stay away from “mud bugs” and go for a more sedate fish filet. Your stomach can thank me later.

Pisces : There’s a light and airy feeling to the Pisces horoscope. It’s not bad, not by any stretch of the imagination. There is one unfortunate situation that is developing, though, and that gets more pronounced as the week gets older. This looks like an ugly confrontation to me. A nasty, knock down, drag fight, something right out of the annals of life in a trailer park (perhaps even one in South Austin). Now, you can face this confrontation head on, and take your lumps — maybe even wind up on a day time talk show with your argument, or you can approach this the way I would, if I were a Pisces: I would do nothing. I would attach myself to the nice stuff, I would be prepared to duck. Unpleasantness can be avoided, and sometimes, when you see a nasty confrontation approaching, it’s just the wisest course of action to duck, spin, and evade the grasp of that situation. Sometimes, a good fight can be wonderfully invigorating. Other times, it’s just as easy to avoid the trouble. I’ll do my best to avoid this sort of incoming problem because you can always surmount the problem next week when you’re guaranteed a win.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2021 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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