To: astronet.com
From: astrofish.net
Subject: Year 2001 Overview
"Modest doubt is called/The beacon
of the wise."
Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida (II.ii.15)
There are a couple of big things happening this year, things to watch out for, things like retrograde planets. While just about every planet appears to go backwards at one point or another during the year, last year [Y2K] was unusual because there was not as many retrogrades as typically occur in a year. This year makes up for it. Call it 2001, the space oddity.
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Retrograde planets have numerous interpretations, but looking at the year as a whole, I would figure on spending a fair amount of time going over previously covered material. It’s like this one fishing spot I found, a little crook in the river, and while it doesn’t always yield fish, going back to it is usually a good thing because it just might be the time when it does give up a whole stringer of fish. Old ground, review, revision, and then re-visit some of the old haunts. The planets are going to provide plenty of time for this. Nothing like an old fishing guide to the stars to remind you what does, and doesn’t, work.
In January, Jupiter and Saturn are just getting turned around, getting themselves unretrograde, about at the end of the month. Happens every year, so these two will be getting themselves sorted out in Gemini. Saturn starts out at a late point in Taurus, but he hurries to catch up soon.
But no sooner do the big get sorted out when February comes along, and we go sliding into the first Mercury Retrograde. Don’t tell me there is not a Higher Consciousness in the Universe, and don’t tell me She’s not having a good belly laugh doing a Mercury trick when Valentine’s Day comes along. I’m laughing all the way to a broken date that night, I’m sure.
No sooner does Mercury get upright, than March comes along, and guess what’s up then? Venus goes backwards, for about six weeks. See: this will be particularly hard hitting because Y2K was unusual in that it was a rare year when Venus wasn’t backwards at all. Hey, here’s a little Latin to make it better: "Sic Friatum Crustulum" [translation: that’s the way the cookie crumbles.] Venus covers the first two thirds of Aries with her backwards motion, finally straightening up a little shortly before Taurus starts — in April.
March also sees Pluto turn backwards, but there’s small joy in that, as well.
But no sooner does May start than the "every two years" Mars Retrograde starts. And before anyone even considers whining, before you start to rip a virulent email to me to complain, consider this: Mars flies by Pluto (in Sagittarius) then crawls to the end of the Sagittarius (29 degrees), stops, turns around, and starts going backwards for 9 [nine] whole weeks. All the way back through Sagittarius to that point where it’s almost on Pluto — again. Don’t send me hate mail; send money and sympathy, in that order.
Mercury is backwards again at this time, during this Mars thing. Mercury spends most of June going backwards, as a matter of fact — in Gemini, and opposite that Mars thing, just to add a little more bad stuff to the already hectic retrograde schedule.
While Mercury is still backwards, just about the time Cancer begins, there’s a little eclipse, too. Confused? You should see what it all looks like from here. The other half of the eclipse happen the day after July Fourth. Mars gets straightened up but by no means out of the trouble zone in the middle of July. Don’t forget, Jupiter starts into Cancer just after the eclipse, too. For good or for ill? Sort of depends.
The only thing which happens in August is that late in the month, Pluto begins marching forward. Oh yeah, like that’s great.
September? Do you have to ask? This time, it’s only Saturn, and frankly, when he turns his sorry self backwards, I’m anticipating some rejoicing. After all, Saturn is not the most friendly of planets, and when he starts going backwards, some things seem to get a little easier.
October sees Saturn pick up in his backwards motion, and Neptune, which spends almost half the year backwards anyway, Neptune starts to turn around. But that’s not really important, unless you’re an early Aquarius, or born in a time when you’re going through a mid-life crisis. Okay, we’ll just call them "mid-life transitions" now, in deference to the new age speak, so common with some astrologers. Yeah, right. A little cynicism is good when dealing with this stuff. Just ask me. Mercury? Yes, he spends most October backwards, as well. Not a good time for the air signs, in general.
November? Do you really want to know? Sure, Mercury is direct, as are all the outside planets (Uranus – Neptune – Pluto – but who cares?), but Jupiter starts backwards on the second of the month. And seeing as how it’s also the beginning of Sagittarius — okay, so I’m a little ahead here, but this is personal — Jupiter is firmly backwards by the time Sag starts.
The last month is a weird one, it’s not like the usual stuff happening at this time of the year going to make this any easier, but with both Saturn and Jupiter moving in a pejorative direction, i.e., e.g., and so forth, retrograde, the Sagittarius eclipse pattern for the next 18 months or so gets off to a rousing start. Oh, just great. Don’t send condolences, send money. I’ll be needing it, probably for bail or bait. But wait, there is one hopeful pattern here, the final portion of the Cancer/Capricorn eclipses occurs, after the big holiday, just in time to start the new year.
Note: dates for the signs are for this year only.
The year in a Texas-sized pecan shell:
Aries [3. 21 – 4. 19]: The planets just all seem to be stacked against you and love in the first half of the year. That’s bad news. No two ways to avoid that. There are, amongst the faithful readers of FGS, precious few Aries who will escape the dour, downturn, and despair which all seem to do with romance, especially in the first half of the year. But wait, before you loathe me too much, look at it this way, maybe it’s an old fling back to revisit some of the old feelings. Or maybe you just want to take it easy with the romance section of your sky, and concentrate on something else, like business. Making money. Earning extra income. Establishing something good for yourself. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, "Money won’t buy love — but I understand you can rent it for a little while…." Not that I’ve found a good place to rent love, but I understand — from my professional acquaintances — this can be done. Now, with that thought, let us turn our attention to what happens about the time Leo starts, say late July and early August: the Mars thing, the stuff he stirred up, all that mud begins to settle some, and in the river which looks like the Aries life, you can see the bottom, the water is clearing, and it’s not bad at all. In fact, for a few months, you’ve got two area of your life: work and romance, which flow together pretty good. Then, all that money you were making — and saving — in the first part of the year? Now’s the time to dipping into your cash reserve, and have some fun with romance. Work slowly grinds to halt as the year closes out, but the love stuff which left you heartbroken? That mends itself, thanks to Mr. Mars.
Taurus [4. 20 – 5.20]: It could be worse, I mean, there have been worse years for Taurus, as a whole. And in particular, there have been worse seasons. The Venus retrograde thing, in the first portion of the year promises to really make you uncomfortable as it won’t just bring up the usual stuff, but it will also bring up some unusual stuff, deep secrets, dark secrets and so forth. I used to keep a personal, written journal on my computer. Then, one time when I was out of town, my girlfriend at the time got to poking around on my machine, and she discovered the journal. She was not happy about some of the things she read. Hey, some of that stuff was pure fantasy. Some of it was recollections. Not all of it was factually true. But it gave her enough ammunition to really build a good case of "Mr. Fishing Guide to the Stars guy is scum." And then she did fire away. The point of this tale is not about how sorry I was about having my diary be public, but a cautionary moment to remind you not to commit anything to print — or any other media — don’t write it down if you don’t want it seen by someone. Can really get sticky. Can really get uncomfortable, especially during the Venus backwards time. After that? Things begin to look up. As long as you make it through the Venus period without doing something you’ll regret for the rest of the year, then you’re good to go. Work and bosses, on the flip side of coin I never tossed at you, but the work scene continues to improve, although, there’s not the exponential improvement you were hoping for. Still, it’s better and better all the time.
Gemini [5.21- 6. 20]: You can just gloss over the Venus problem, that’s just not enough of an influence to worry about. But the Mars thing is going to sting a little because Mars is opposite you on the wheel, and the Mars going backwards in the sky will hit like a [little] truck, backing into your relationship arena. "Arena?" sure, for a Gemini, relationships all involve a certain amount of performance art, right? Only, don’t plan on much performance, not during your birthday months. The other big problem this year is the preponderance of Mercury Retrogrades in Air Signs. That’s not going to make you happy, not at all. Nothing is worse for a Gemini than to have the correct answer, and not being able to get anyone to listen to you. It’s frustrating when I know that you’re right. I figure you’ll be equally frustrated because no matter how hard you try, during those three Mercurial Mercury Retrograde times, during the worst of them, just follow this simple advice from my heart to you, just two simple words: "Shut up." Now, before you start to squeal like a porcine companion with its hindquarters stuck in the sausage grinder, hear me out: if you zip it, cap it, put a lid on it, and just shut up, you will appear to be the wise and wonderful Gemini that you truly are. But failing to keep you Gemini mouth shut at those times indicates problems. Doesn’t matter that you were/are right, doesn’t matter. Mercury is determined to make you appear wrong. So, plan on keeping your communications to yourself during those times, and then, at the end of the year, plan on sending me a meager portion of all the money you make because you did keep your mouth shut. Hey, it’s only fair.
Cancer [6. 21 – 7. 22]: The big noises being made about Venus going backwards, in her apparent position, as compared to where we are down here on Planet Earth, that means something to you as it provides a chance to assess your present relationships, decide whether it’s really worth it or not, and then do something about it all. I’ll just warn you not to do anything while Venus is retrograde, other than think about it. And then you don’t want to do anything while Mars is backwards, either, therefore…. wait. The rest of the year? Heck, that just plain looks good for you guys. There is a final, pesky little Moon and Sun dance, oft times referred to as an eclipse, coming up right at the end of the year, but that’s just bringing in a degree of closure to some recurrent problem you think you’ve had, and you get to finally slam the door on the face of the problem. I suppose I should write about Jupiter in your sign. True story: I was looking at girl’s chart, saw what Jupiter was doing, and I said, "So you’ve put on a little weight lately…." The result brings a new interpretation to the term "getting hit on." One might say her comment was punctuated with a fist. "It doesn’t show, does it? It’s only two pounds." Personally, I didn’t notice it all. I was examining the chart, not her. But you get the idea. If you’re worried about it, see, Jupiter means expansion. Doesn’t have to be weight. But you get the idea, right? Sure you do. Plan on starting to expand your horizons for the latter months of the summer, after your birthday and all. More than one, new avenue opens up, and be prepared to take it. Travel, hey, that looks good. For you Cancers not in Texas, consider a trip down here in the fall — after it cools off some, and when you’re less inclined to hit me.
Leo [7. 23 – 8. 22]: The dynamic duet between two other fire sign retrograde actions, one would be Ms. Venus in Aries, the other would be Mr. Mars in Sag, that little rear guard action is going to feel a lot like it’s the early 1980’s all over again. Not that I’m one to relive old glory days, but to be honest, the results were rather gory, not glory. The tone of the spring, and early summer, as far as gentle Leo is concerned, is none too good, not at first. I mean, the year starts out okay, then Middle March, everything seems to go upside down. Some Leo’s accept this. Others find it less to their liking. I’d suggest, since you have the foresight to read this, then you’re one of the ones who will not take kindly to the upside down nature of the coming spring time and early summer events. Tough. Then, there’s also that pernicious little Mercury thing in February, and since it’s directly opposite you, even though it’s not really in your sign, you’re not going to like that whole month. So most of February is shot, part of March, on into April, then mid-May through July. Shut up for a second, before you start bemoaning your fate, remember, I’m Sagittarius, I have it worse than you, so stop whimpering. See: about the time the Leo birthday party season rolls around, about the time you begin to think everything is gone for the whole year, you get a break, and all that stuff you’ve been struggling with for so long ceases to be a struggle. From there, forward, nothing but good times. And because the little retrograde windows are small planets, and since the times are smaller than what you expect, it won’t be that bad. But don’t complain, some of the other Fire Signs get it worse than you do. Just make sure you have your back up plans in place before the first of this starts, means, enjoy January, then get ready for a long, twisting slide down the mountain.
Virgo [8. 23 – 9. 22]: There’s this perfectly horrible thing which happens at work this spring. Something bad. I know I really shouldn’t suggest that, and I’m not looking to get you in trouble, but dear, sweet, ever so kind and gentle Virgo, look out. Cover your backside. If you’re a guy, make sure your fly is closed before you go back to the office. If you’re a female, well, I don’t have an appropriate simile for you, but you get the drift here. It’s that Venus thing, and it’s bound and determined to make some point during that six week hiatus, it’s bound to make some serious difficulties at work. Naturally, you do everything in triplicate, so you’re got your notes, schedule book, and so forth to fall back on, right? I just want you to have a gentle landing, not a hard one. Regrettably, the planets are determined to make something go horribly awry during this time. Deal with it. Cope. Then there’s this Mars thing happening, and it’s like that, only maybe a little worse. No, not the whole time, but some point during the "Mars going backwards" period, you’ve got an uncomfortable spot coming along. Make sure it isn’t like what happened to me, about two Mars retrogrades ago: see I was flirting online with two girls, both worked at the same company, but it was big company, so they didn’t know each other, right? Wrong-a-mundo, bait breath (what my name became, afterwards). I sent them both a proposal of marriage, sent them both a pledge of my undying and unyielding love, and those two people were in cubicles right next to each other. Eventually, after Mars [and lots of fast talking by me] got out of its retrograde pattern, I did succeed in rescuing one relationship. But it wasn’t hopeful. The problem? I just copied the same message over, to both of them, and they compared notes, and I was dirt. Don’t try my dirty tricks. Take a lesson from me, especially during the spring fling months. After that? Things are good.
Libra [9. 23 – 10. 22]: One of Pa Wetzel’s favorite expressions, he’s Libra you know, one of his favorite expressions is, "Let’s put on our thinking cap." And that’s useful expression for this year. For the whole year, not just part of it. You’re not going to like what I have to say, but if you listen carefully, I’ll explain it all. In fact, I’ll type slowly so you can keep up. Mercury’s pattern this year is Air, and it ends in Libra. The eclipses, what few there are, they are Cardinal, not good for you. The retrogrades, one’s opposite you (Venus) and the other (Mars), well, you’ll just have to trust me on this, it’s not where you want it to be. Imagine everything I’ve ever written about Mercury Retrograde, the amusing mishaps and miscommunications, but then, parts of my life are just like a comedy routine anyway. Imagine all that wrapped up into a whole year. No, it’s not bad, not if you learn to laugh at some of this stuff. There are no major obstacles with the year, but there are a lot of minor ones, and all most all of this has to do with your communications process. It’s like no one understands you. No, it’s not like this all year, but it is like this about ten months out of twelve. "Those are not acceptable parameters," the Libra says. Hey, I’m just telling you, you’re going to have more trouble than usual getting people to understand you, that’s all. So shall we now don our thinking cap, and see what we can come up with? It means you should take out a reporter’s style notebook, and start scribbling notes. All the time. About everything. The one piece of information that you desperately need, that one little fact you need to lay your hands on, you need to have it written down someplace. And given the nature of the 2001 Mercury Cycle, I would suggest pencils, not pens. Pens tend to leak ink at the worst possible time. Hope? There’s plenty of that. While all this stuff is going on, you’re, as my British friends say, "Bloody Brilliant!" The catch is, about ten of the next twelve months, no one besides me understands that. It’s okay, your day is coming. Promise.
Scorpio [10. 23 – 11. 21]: As much as you think you want to travel in this coming year, might I suggest a different plan, a different approach? As much as you want to get up and go, the appeal of the couch at home, the things going on at home, and the Scorpio trailer, that all needs a little extra attention. There’s this one trailer, I wouldn’t want to suggest it was owned by a Scorpio but there you have it, and this one trailer, here at Shady Acres Trailer Park, last year, the AC unit was leaking a little, just around the seams, and just on the top of the trailer. But this little leak had an annoying tendency to drip water into the kitchen at the worst time, and there was that persistent "drip pause pause drip pause drip" noise. Not so much a regular beat, either, just something which was terribly annoying. And it didn’t do a lot of damage, but it was a problem. Now, before the warm months get here, like around late April, consider getting your AC repair guy out there to look at this unit. Consider getting it fixed. Make that a priority. If you’re traveling, and leaving the trailer at home, then you’ll never remember to get it fixed before the big heat of the summer gets here, then you are truly, and most egregiously in deep trouble. No AC guy — leastways, not here in Texas — would ever think about just billing you for a regular house call when the temperature is close to a hundred, inside and out. In fact, the amount of the bill seems directly linked to how fast they get the place cooled down again. So there’s this one problem, you should fix it now before it gets worse, and since you don’t believe me anyway, you’ll put it off. Go on, go ahead, leave the country, see if we care, but when you come back, in the middle of the summer, be prepared to deal with home repairs you should’ve fixed before you left. That’s what I’m here for, to remind you. After you save money by staying home for the first part of the year? Remember me? I couldn’t afford to get my AC fixed in the spring, and it’s getting really warm in this trailer, and I need a little help.
Sagittarius [11. 22 – 12. 21]: Aspects of my social life seem to be lived out in various public forums, ask the sheriff. Or game warden, as the case may be. But there are some aspects of my life which I try to keep private and way from prying eyes. "Inquiring minds want to know," is what one girlfriend told me. The reason for the emphasis on my social life is that it makes a wonderful metaphorical device for the coming year. The two retrogrades of note are Venus and Mars. Venus in a compatible fire sign (Aries) and Mars right here in Sag. The little Venus thing, that six week period in the spring time, that’s like a warm up, a little prelude to what the summer’s news will be like. It’s a, euphemistically speaking, "shot across the bow" of good ship Sagittarius. Just a little warm up, maybe a little warning, too. The relationship arena seems to be lacking suitable players at this time. The big deal, though, is not Venus. Shoot, she’s nothing. That’s a warm up. She just leaves us stranded, not destitute. Mars, however, that’s whole different story. See: Mars whacks Pluto upside the head. Then Mars begins a journey from there, the halfway point in Sag, to the very end, right up to the 29 degree point. And from there? Could Mars slide on over in Cap? Sure. But he doesn’t. He just sits there, and then gradually starts moving in a direction which is opposite everything else in the heavens. So in by the end of May, we’re thinking, "This just can’t get any worse." Yes, yes it can. Mercury spends most of June retrograde, opposite Sagittarius, in Gemini. For all intents and purposes, Mars goes back to the same place where Pluto started his backwards motion in March. Get the picture? Every time you feel like you might be getting ahead, something else crops up, and there always looks like there is no hope. Before you get too upset, remember, I just report where the planets are, not the outcome. So the Spring, then the Summer begins to all sound like a modern Country and Western song, "She left me, took the dog, and I sure do miss that dog…." Wait, there’s more. The Mars clean up period isn’t over until the first week of September. And no sooner does Mars finally start to bring some good stuff than, there’s another Mercury Retrograde, the previously alluded one in Libra. Stop whining. Hits me worse than you. The deal is, our collective, Sagittarius love lives will not be very smooth. Fortunately, we can always adapt. Long about the end of October, the social scene becomes a sudden blur of good stuff. Suddenly, that year long problem with love is clearing up. But no sooner does the love life start to turn around than the money thing hits the skids. November, remember? Jupiter… from my old desk top publishing days, I have sign, "You can have it 1] right away 2] correct 3] cheap. Pick two." Pick two for your own Sag life, we ain’t going to get all three.
Capricorn [12. 22 – 1. 29]: It could be because I was raised, in part, with a traditional side of my family which is from the Deep South (Georgia). It could be because I was born and raised in Texas. It could be the parts of my chart which are in Capricorn, too. Means I have just enough of that weird and wacky, droll, dry, off beat Capricorn sensibility. Even call it risibility, too. The deal is, you’re going to spend a lot of this year looking at your own Capricorn life, and wondering why more people aren’t as amused as you are. The active life inside your Capricorn brain, that full featured, surround sound, 360 degree viewscreen, that little motion picture (looks like a drive-in to me), that inner life is rich, varied, and full of many attributes which amuse you. More than any other sign, you guys get to laugh at this year. Might come across as being a mean spirited laugh, where it looks like you’re taking advantage of some else’s problem, but that’s the inherent nature of comedy: someone always gets hurt. The trick is to pick on someone who either really deserves it, or someone who can laugh right along with your strange tastes. Yes, Capricorn is going to be a little weirder than usual. But unlike the other signs, this isn’t really that bad. There’s a plodding, pedantic sense which is often associated with this sign, your sign, Capricorn, the Sea Goat. Your goat-like attributes, those stand you in good stead at this point. Most of the year, to be precise. There’s the usual little ups and downs, the vagaries associated with the little shifts in the planets, but it’s that inside life, the interior movie projection booth, that stuff now showing on your interior screen which works best. At more than one point, it will bring up sad times, bad times, and then glad times. "So it’s sad, then bad, then glad?" Not exactly, you have to understand that the subconscious is a tricky area of life, and it’s even more tricky for you. I would never advise you to delve into this dark side of your psyche without proper adult supervision, but you know, you were an adult once, and you can just pretend you’ve got a guardian. In fact, you do have a guardian angel, almost all year long. Just remember, you’re little guardian angel has a weird sense of Capricorn humor. Laughter, it’s your best tool — all year long.
Aquarius [1. 20 – 2. 18]: The hammering starts next door, around your birthday, and it will feel like, at some point in the summer, that this infernal racket will never, ever let up. It will, from time to time, but then the hammering starts again. I used to live in an apartment complex, when I was much younger and infinitely more foolish, way up yonder in North Austin. Is this important? Yes, because I lived above some night owls. More night owlish than me, to be precise. It was not unusual to come out at ten in the morning, and find the gentlemen, and their various com padres, still hanging out from the night before, still drinking out of bottles in brown bags. Not exactly a great place to live. Or, like the hammering thing you’ve got most of this year, it was nothing for them to apparently decide to redecorate their place at 2 or 3 in the morning. I could always tell by the vocal tone of the discussion, it was a spirited conversation about where to move various pieces of furniture. Got to be I could sleep through this sort of noise. Rent was cheap, so it was part and parcel of the location. Now, you’ve got a year, well parts of the year, when it feels like you’re living in my old apartment complex. And complex it is. The problem is not you, it’s the neighbors, or other outside forces with no respect for your schedule. I’d just figure all of this was caused by Mercury going retrograde. Several times over. You get the worst of it at the first half of the year. After that, folks become a little more inclined to listen to you. Therein is the good news — eventually, folks will come around to understanding what you’re trying to communicate. But at first? Not a chance. Instead of wasting energy like I used to, I would pound on the floor of the apartment — the jokers underneath me would just pound back — instead of spending a lot this year worrying about something which is completely out of your control, try the next step. Calling the police? No, that won’t work. No, just roll over and pull your pillow over your head. This serves two purposes: one, it drowns out the noise and two, if the sky starts falling, your most precious Aquarius head is protected. Quiet and clam returns late in the year. Until then? Learn to put up with folks not doing what you think they should be doing.
Pisces [2. 19 – 3. 20]: One thing is for sure, my name will be "Mud" in the middle of the summer, down here in Texas. I will have a spot reserved for me on the bottom of a certain Pisces’s list of people to avoid, throw stones at, maybe even call me up and shout at my answering machine. Or the receptionist. And is that really fair? It’s not me, it’s one, little planet and all he’s doing is making your life a little more rocky than you truly deserve. You just thought you’ve lived the blues, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Sometime, at one point, between June and August, you will lash out in anger at someone who, at the time, you feel like rightfully deserves the full attention and all the wrath you can muster up. I just hope I’m out of town when this happens. Given my luck and the way the year looks for me, probably not. The deal is Mars, and no other planet does much which is hard for you, but Mars? He’s on a little warpath. Maybe even a big war path, never can tell. And during that one moment in the middle of the summer, when it feels like there is a heat wave, you get your collective Pisces dander up, you get all good and hot, bothered and other wise distracted, and you let someone — hope it’s not me — have it. Then you’ll mutter to yourself, "Well, Self, they had it coming, you know…." Now, I’ve just painted a dire picture and you’re going to think, "But what a bout the rest of the year?" The rest of the year, you manage to escape from most of the troubles the rest of us face. That’s why I’m looking at that one little window, it’s what is called a "shedwater" event. What could be a better term for my favorite Mutable Water Sign [Pisces]? Water sign, get it? Oh, never mind. Look, that point in the middle of the summer? That’s a turning point. That’s the time when everything changes. That’s when you get over the hump. That’s when it all starts getting better. That’s when you are down do far that everything is up. That’s the point when you realize, the easiest way out of the hole you’ve just dug. The easiest way to get out is to stop digging.
(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001
