runtime: 3/2001
To: List
Subject: astrofish.net Mar. News
from: Kramerw@astrofish.net
“Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot
That it do singe yourself”
Shakespeare’s Henry VIII [I.i.140]
Astrological overview: The astrological furnace is getting heated up with one or maybe two things happening. One would Miss Venus in Aries, and her headway this month is poking along as compared to what she usually does. The other would be Mars in Sagittarius, but he’s old news by now. The two little love planets are going to have a weird falling out towards the middle of the month, and Miss Venus will begin a retrograde pattern at the middle point, sending all sort of minor stuff into a tail spin. Mars does his first pass at the heat of Pluto’s furnace, and that makes for an interesting twist to events this month.
Aries [3. 21 – 4. 19]: Personally, I like it hot. Hot food, hot weather, bring it on. And that’s the basic theme — but wait, there’s also a little problem. See, Venus slows herself down, and then she does a back flip. While it looks easy from our point of view, I can’t suggest you try to imitate the actions of Venus yourself. Exercise a little caution. This could be an acrobatic attempt you make at the swimming hole, to impress some romantic interest, or it could be a more metaphorical stunt, again to impress someone special, one of those, “Hey baby, watch me do this….” and then have the person you are trying to impress think you ‘re complete fool. I usually don’t have to do much more than open my mouth, and that’s what they think. But if you’re not following my advice, there’s a good chance you can damage either your body, or your ego, or worse yet [I speak from personal experience] both. Blame what you want, but take it easy right now.
Taurus [4. 19 – 5.20]: You know, it’s getting a little better. You know, if you read between the lines of some of the astrology stuff out there, they will suggest that the planet most often associated with your sign is going backwards, and that this is a bad thing. Well, maybe it is. But there’s a trick to working with this right. Act crafty. Even if you don’t have anything to be really nefarious about, be coy. Act suspicious. Develop an air of cynical disbelief in everything. As long as Miss Venus is running around trying to make you miserable, might as well take as many of us with you as possible. And yes, it’s possible. Try to play around with your weird thoughts. Enjoy them. No need to act on anything right now, as you’ve got the convenient excuse, “Venus is backwards, can’t do that right now….” I don’t know if employers will buy it, but my staff Taurus here at headquarters can certainly get away with it. Don’t you wish you had an astrologically savvy boss like me?
Gemini [5.21- 6. 21]: You’re always such a lovely sign (okay, so the guys are ruggedly handsome — whatever), but you’re spending part of this month feeling like you’re getting passed over, passed by, overlooked, and under appreciated. No one loves Gemini’s as much as I do — I seem to be the only astrologer I know who really, genuinely likes this sign. Of course, that being said, it’s as if I’m about the only one out here who appreciates the fact that you’re so talented. And good looking. Yes, Jupiter is in your sign, but that’s causing more trouble than good luck this month, as is this pesky Venus thing. Okay, you might not win the big stuff, you might not win the big prize, and that pernicious romance thing might feel like it is slipping through your hands. Relax, if you can’t take a little planetary upheaval like this, then that one wasn’t meant to be. And if you make past the Ides of March, you’re set for things to gradually get better and better.
Cancer [6. 22 – 7. 22]: You really should see about getting together with me sometime soon, for a quick explanation of just why Venus is doing what to your chart. It’s not all bad, in one of the astrology bibles, this action is considered to be a beneficial action — what Venus is doing to you. Personally, from what I’ve actually seen, I tend to scratch my head a little, and wonder, “This is is good?” An amendment to that could be, “So what’s the bad stuff if this is good stuff?” Take it all with a healthy little A dose of skepticism — another way of looking at this is to wonder just what is so difficult about the proposition. Raise your cute Cancer eyebrow, give us that look, and say, “Oh really?” Not that there is certain amount of disbelief in your voice, but just such action, just such querulous questioning goes a long way towards preventing preventable accidents. I’m not saying something bad is about to happen, but I am suggesting you be a little more cautious with matters of the heart.
Leo [7. 23 – 8. 23]: If it doesn’t happen in the first two weeks of this month, then there’s a good chance it won’t ha[pen all month long. And I’m not just trying to placate the finest of the Leo’s that I know, I’m just trying to be honest, and give you a shred of advice which yo might — or might not — adhere to. If it doesn’t occur soonest, then just put it off for a while. That’s really simple, isn’t it? The last two weeks of this month really aren’t going to be that bad, either, just a little more unpredictable than you like. Lucky you: all this upheaval is hitting other fire signs a lot worse, and for a change you get to rest on your well earned Leo laurels, and since you’re reading this, then you know not to anticipate too much happening in the last few weeks of this month, and while everyone else is struggling, you’re sitting there, looking pretty.
Virgo [8. 24 – 9. 22]: You got your hump day which usually comes in the middle of the week, then you got your hump week which comes in the middle of the month, then you got your hump month which should come in the middle of the year. This year, it gets here a lot earlier. Ides of March, or thereabouts, are the big turning point. And it seems like you are trying to get a whole year’s worth of stuff done before then. and, to make this a worst case scenario, it looks like you don’t get near everything done. Ever notice that you have a propensity for setting goals which are impossible for anyone to reach? I’d wonder about that, especially as we all face this month with Virgo like zeal. Then, as the middle gets here, and you find that people have let you down, one more time, cast your mind back to what I said about setting unattainable goals. Really, only a super person could have gotten everything done perfectly. Don’t berate yourself — or me — for failing to meet you expectations. The planets are having fun right now, and the idea of accomplishing a year’s worth of work in three months isn’t so good. Give yourself until the middle of the year, then we’ll revisit this idea.
Libra [9. 23 – 10. 22]: This is a month that you’ll want to spend a lot of time forgetting about. In fact, it’s your Libra brand of memory which might fail you during the coming weeks. Easiest suggestion is to write things down. And no, anticipating your next question, it’s not Mercury. It’s that Venus thing I’ve been going on and on about. Venus is like a little blazing sign, a piece of neon rising out of the dessert in West Texas, a blinking light with a fizzing noise which means part of the circuitry is no longer wired quite right, and this sign indicates there’s a motel with a vacancy. And you’re tired. And you think this would be a perfect time to stop and rest. Only, think about it: this scene, the motel, the sign, it all looks like it could be a set up for a horror film, some sort of post modern film with no point and too much gratuitous violence. You’re not too sure about that sign, or, for that matter, about what Venus means. So what Venus looks like she’s offering this month, you might want to think twice about. Are you sure you want to check into that motel? or have you forgotten everything you’ve ever learned from watching horror films?
Scorpio [10. 23 – 11. 22]: Everyone around you is experiencing the first of the romantic problems but you know, for Scorpio, this isn’t such a bad time. If you are the perverse sort, the kind of person who revels in other folks misfortune, then you can have quite the nice month. But that’s not really who you are, and if you’re reading this, then we have to assume that you don’t make light of other folks problems. You do find that your degree of compassion, though, that ability ti empathize with other folks is going to be drawn upon this month. You need to be able to feel our pain so work up your compassionate look. Do the “oh honey, I’m so sorry” line, get it ready. The more you understand our pain, the better you’ll feel. See: a lot of this mess in the he heavens goes sliding right past your Scorpio self at this time. And what I’m doing, what I’m suggesting, is that you get ready what’s up ahead, a ways on down the line. Nothing like expressing some care and concern right now, and having that come back to you in the near future. Consider this an emotional investment, of sorts, let other folks see that you do care, and you’ll find, that in your own time of need (remember Mars? Mars goes backwards in a couple of months, for a couple of months), you’re going to have all the support you need. So act compassionate.
Sagittarius [11. 22 – 12. 22]: I’ve found that I have to look at the stars and laugh a little, maybe laugh a lot, and enjoy the strange twists tossed our way by the stars. No sooner do we get good and comfortable with the possible largesse of Mars in Sagittarius than we get hit with a backward falling Venus. Not a good time, or rather, not good timing. It means that love interests in our Sagittarius lives are doomed. Maybe doomed is too strong of word. After all, this is the one sign which can rebound faster than any other sign. But there is a problem, little or big, with romance. The real trick, and I wish I could do this myself but I’ve never quite mastered it, the real trick is not let little problems become big problems. sure, sounds easy. But this one of those times when there’s a certain someone, stomping their foot, collectively wondering why we weren’t at the appointed place at the appointed hour, and there is our Sagittarius selves, wondering what we missed. This can be tragic, or, given the right attitude, it can be humorous. Just as a further cautionary tale, though, let me suggest — even though us Sagittarius types find it funny — act contrite. All month long. Develop that look which means, “Oh baby, I’m sorry, it’s my fault….” Just such a line can save a lot of heartache during the next few weeks.
Capricorn [12. 23 – 1. 18]: I was thinking about just reusing last month’s scope for Capricorn (perish the thought), and use it as a way to look at this month because there are some common themes. The middle of the month is a turning point, and I’m really tempted to use the old “Ides of March” line again. but I’ve used that so many years in row now, I can’t bear the thought of slamming you with that one again. And I’m not the one slamming into you, either, it’s either Mars or Venus, and those two are sort of conspiring to make the relationship arena of your life, the love interests are getting a little heated all month long. This isn’t so bad, but it does cause some consternation. Now, you can get good and passionate about this relationship problem, or you can take it easy, and maybe just give it all a quizzical look, cock your left eyebrow up, and suggest that this isn’t that big of a deal. Know what? It’s not really a big deal. In that relationship arena of life, something which sometimes looks like a monster truck arena, and sometimes looks like a stock car oval, in this arena, you can spend a lot of time going around and around, or you can be a spectator. Certain voyeuristic tendencies are good right now. Sit back and watch them struggle. Or jump out there, and get into the fray. I’ll just warn you, though, if you engage the competition right now, you might not come out as good as you think you can. Or it might turn out the way you want it to. A little more of a spectator position is a far better attitude.
Aquarius [1. 19 – 2. 18]: There is a certain weirdness which floats around, and most folks would be very afraid if they heard about this sort of weirdness. But for an average Aquarius [like there’s any such thing], but that average Aquarius isn’t doing too badly, maybe even enjoying this sort of stuff. But there’s also a high degree of activity right now, there’s Mr. Mars, and he’s just churning up more stuff which demands your attention. In fact, part of the weirdness for the month syndrome involves that Aquarius being much busier than usual. Way busy. Too many things require that fine Aquarius attention right now, that wonderful, razor sharp intellect, that fine mind you possess. Yes, there’s only 24 hours in a day, and your life would be a lot easier if you could squeeze about two more hours in, a little more time for sleep, or maybe it’s just a little more time for non-essential things like food. And as soon as I suggest you put that something on hold for a little while, I know that you’re going to get upset with me. Look: you can always catch up o your sleep next month, but for right now? Coffee is the cure. More caffeine. It doesn’t always solve the problem, but at least your eyes will appear to be open, and that’s half the battle. Instead of marching drums, change what your listening to, make it something like a steel drum, pretend it’s beach music.
Pisces [2. 19 – 3. 20]: You know, this is one of those times when you get a lucky break, of sorts. It may not be what you’re expecting, and it may not come when you want it to happen, and it may not be the lucky break you’re looking for, but there’s a break. You wouldn’t be a good Pisces unless you knew that things just generally work out for you, in the long run. The Venus going backwards thing doesn’t happen until we’re almost done with the Pisces birthdays. That’s good. The sun creeps into Aries, and that’s good, too. Plan on spending a little bit more time at the Pisces Trailer Park of life — your definition may vary, and I’m not sure that everyone lives in a trailer, but I like the idea. As this Venus thing begins to kick into high gear (a reverse gear), plan on spending a little more time at home. Or whatever definition of home you like. There’s the usual cautionary tale about romance going downhill at this time, but the practical experience from my personal files suggests that it’s really not that bad for the Pisces types I know. Of course, since other signs are having trouble, especially later in the month, well, you know the drill by now. There’s some higher than usual brain activity and along with this comes a unique ability to talk a little too much. WOrds of caution? Consider what you’re going to say, maybe rehearse it a time or two, before you deliver that stunning monologue.
(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001
The web site is always open for business — http://astrofish.net
Feel free to post this along to your friends, or enemies, we don’t much care, but please make sure everything is intact to the end of the signature file, just to make sure the legal department is happy.
