for the week of: 3/5-11
“The evil men do lives after them.”
Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” [III.ii.77]
I believe there’s a second half to the opening quote, about “virtues are written in water,” and following that idea, in a real live reading, folks never remember the good stuff, just the bad stuff. The fun never stops, I’ll be in Austin, this coming weekend. If you want a real astrologer’s take on your chart [good & bad], hop on over to see me at the event listed in the travel schedule. Here’s the hot tip, tell the folks at the door you’re on the “Kramer guest list” and you can usually beat the cover charge. Or use my favorite line, “I’m with the band, man.”
Last week, in Sagittarius, there was a quiz question about a racetrack. The turn alluded to was, in fact, Turn One at the old Texas World Speedway, in Bryan/College Station, Texas. As an unrelated side note, I gathered my first trophy for a motorcycle road race there, a long, long time ago. Quiz this week is in Scorpio.
Aries: The question of morning people versus creatures of the night comes into play this week as Venus is making merry in your sign, and the Sun ain’t here yet — that is, the Sun isn’t in your sign. What does this do? Most Aries are “morning people.” Out of bed before the Sun creeps over the horizon, a jolly smile, “It’s a new day, let’s go, we’re burning daylight!” And the rest of us are still snuggled under the sheets, still warm in the sleeping bag, and all we want to do is sleep. You can be on either side of the equation, but you get the general drift. You are the opposite of what everyone else is this week. You can be in a fish camp surrounded by “afternoon” folks, and you’re the only one up early, just raring to go. Or, you can be a type who prefers to sleep in, and those awful morning people, perky, with smiles on their faces, and their best of intentions, happily making racket and suggesting that action is best. Doesn’t matter which one describes you best, the week is full of people who are of the other variety. Go easy on us.
Taurus: There’s a certain kind of frustration you get to feel this week. It’s like a lottery ticket I purchased last week. I had five sets of numbers, and each row had a single, winning digit. Add it all up, and I had a winning ticket. When I proudly handed it over to pretty little clerk at the store, though, she just suggested I had nothing. See, all the winning numbers have to be on the same line. While I had a 5 out of 6 winning numbers, none of them were on the same line, each number was on a different line. Luck is funny like that. And that’s the way your Taurus week goes, too. You might have all the right stuff, but it isn’t lined up quite right. Close, but not quite. Now, you can do like I did, and you can pitch a fit right there, but that only has one result: the staff seems to think you’re acting a little strange. Or, you can go back and figure out just how you picked all those good numbers, do the math, consult the tea leaves, and then try it again, a little better off — wiser, as it were, for the experience. You might still win something, but it’s going to take a little extra work.
Gemini: One of these days, the heavens will open up, and there will be a big, deep, booming voice that will intone the great answers to life’s mysteries. Coming soon to a Gemini channel near you, stay tuned for local listings. In the meantime, you’ve still got one or two little sources of frustrations, questions which beg answers, but you have no way of getting to the answer from here. The familiar metaphor is to liken this to banging your head against the wall. The first step in making the pain subside, the first action you can take to stop the incessant problem is to stop hitting the wall with your head. You would be amazed at what this does, how the pounding in your head seems to stop almost immediately as you stop hitting that fixed, immovable object. It’s like one of the classic cartoon frames from a long time ago, you keep pushing on a door, wondering why you can’t get in, when the sign plainly reads, “Pull.” Different actions, or even no action at all, is what is required of you this week. And stop banging on something that simply doesn’t work.
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Cancer: Around here, I consider work to be a major frustration in my life. This is one of those times when I’m sure you’re going to feel much the same way. We share this view point that work is more frustrating, and the payoff, the paycheck at the end of the week, you’re like me, you wonder if you couldn’t be spending your time in a more effective manner. I’m sure you could. I’d rather be fishing, myself. Anything but wherever it is that I wind up. You’re much the same way. Soon, like in the next week or so, you’re going to hear that ubiquitous noise, the incessant “beep beep beep” of a truck backing up. It looks like a boss, employer, supervisor or even a client, and that is their dump truck, unloading a large amount of “work” on your desk. To you and me, it looks like organic fertilizer. Best thing to do? Get out the shovel, real or metaphorical, and get after the job at hand. The more zealous energy you throw into this work thing, the sooner you can dig yourself out.
Leo: Live bait. Two simple words for the Leo week. “Live bait?” Yes. Don’t try and pass off an artificial worm, not some horrible lime green thing that looks so much like an accident caused by nuclear waste in the worm bed, don’t try to get your fish to try that right now. Imagine what your target is saying, “Here’s a piece of unnaturally green plastic with a metal barb in it. I wonder, should I bite on this?” Sincerity counts, too. If you really are putting a piece of live bait on the end of the a hook, apologize to the bait, and thank it for what it is about to do for you. There is one situation where live bait doesn’t work for you this week, and that’s if you are going after certain bottom feeders. Catfish like stink bait. But if you want anything else at all, if you have your sights set any higher than bottom feeding scum, then use real sincerity. Around here, we still call it, “Live Bait.” Try it — you’ll be surprised how well it works.
Virgo: There are always little, day to day challenges that present unique opportunities for growth. That’s a fancy way of suggesting that some people are going to do their very best to block any forward progress you were planning on making right now. I’d calmly suggest that you not let these little problems that arise, the little difficulties that impede your forward progress, I’d — calmly now — suggest that these are chances to look at situations from a fresh perspective. This gets a bit personal, but I’ve always found that groveling, on the floor in front of some nemesis, from down there, I can see all sorts of things I never saw before. Maybe they were right. Or maybe, they have more control over this situation, or maybe, I just needed a little break. Or maybe, just maybe, there’s hope in here yet. Consider this week a chance to rework that proposal, a chance to renegotiate the supply line, a chance to consider their point of view. After all, these little irritations are nothing more than large problems trying to escape small containers. Move cautiously. Try looking at “it” from “their” point of view.
Libra: Fortunately, just about every Libra I know is able to give 110%. Now, in a precise mathematical equation, this sort of number is impossible. “Huh?” “110%,” is, of course, a figure of speech. But it does imply that that you can give more than you take, you can rise to call of duty, and perform super human feats. You can get people to agree to things that they wouldn’t normally agree to. You can out-perform the standard person. Too bad this isn’t much of a challenge, although, this is a week when it will feel like challenge. You’re going to be called upon to deliver a little bit more than is expected of anyone else. Unfair? Who ever suggested that this was fair, in the first place? No one. So don’t complain. No other sign will be able to deliver like you can. My personal solution to this problem, this week, this “100 + 10%” thing? Drink more coffee. Or tea. Or both. Try something with a little extra kick to keep you going. You’re going to need it, but the good news is that you will — eventually — be rewarded for this extra effort.
Scorpio: Turn up the heat at work. You’ve got the charm, the wonderful Scorpio charm, so use it this week. Mrs. Venus, along with some other, more sordid planets, are making you appear as Mr. (okay, Miss, Ms. Mrs. — whatever!) Wonderful so use it. But use it correctly. There is a right way to charm folks, and then there’s that way my Scorpio date did last week, and that’s not nice. Refocus your wonderful Scorpio Stare on the folks at work. Maybe hit the joke list for a few good ones to help break the ice and lighten up the atmosphere a little. Turn down the Scorpio Sarcasm a notch. I may think it’s funny, but not everyone shares our sense of humor. Adjust for local conditions. In the office setting, maybe kick off your shoes, or, loosen up your tie. Careful with the slapstick, though, as that sometimes backfires. But use a little bit of humor this week to increase the Scorpio charm that you have. You’ll find that you get a lot more done by appearing to be light and breezy. For the quiz question, I need a play, act, scene and line number for this quote: “Well said, that was laid on with a trowel.” Correct e-mail answers have a shot at getting an abbreviated “Planet profile” from here at the International Scorpio Relief Center.
Sagittarius: You ain’t happy, you ain’t gonna be happy, and the world is a sour place. Now, get over it. If you read these horoscopes on a regular basis, an FGS Faithful, then you are allowed to have one hour of self-pity, existential angst, and depression. If it’s really that bad, and if you really feel sorry for yourself, allot one hour for each of those three. That’s three hours this week dedicated to feeling badly about yourself, your situation, and whatever else you care to wrap into the equation. Now get over it. That three hours is a waste of time when you could be doing something constructive to rectify this situation. Or situations. Black turtleneck sweaters, French cigarettes that smell like cloves, and dark coffee shops with bitter little cups of Espresso are fine. But after your three hours is up, we don’t want to hear another peep out of you about this depressing situation. Or the state of your mental health. Three hours is all you get this week for feeling sorry for yourself. And you can only use that much if you’re a regular reader.
Capricorn: You and me, I’m sure we can talk this week. I know, you have a lot of bottled up frustration, a certain amount of unresolved angst which is looking for a way out. Drop me a note to complain, if you must. I might even read it, although, I’ll have on the “Capricorn Spam Flame” filter, so it might take a while to get an answer. If I answer at all. And it seems like I’m not the only one with just such a filter set up. You’re in a position where you want all of us to listen to your scintillating words of wisdom. Fact is, you are funnier than most. And, another fact, there probably is some real wisdom contained in those words of yours. But there’s also a degree of plain, old , ordinary organic mulching compound that you are capable of spreading around. There are a few Capricorn-Intolerant people in the world. And those folks seem to make up the majority of what should be your listening public right now. While you may be ahead of us on the learning curve, especially right now, you’re going to find that most of us are unwilling to listen. So before you shoot off your mouth, or make one of those characteristically funny and oblique Cap comments, consider whether we are really listening. This is a momentary influence, but sometimes, much as it pains me to suggest it, sometimes you need to figure out when to be quiet.
Aquarius: I fished with a buddy one time, not the lucky sort. At the end of the day, he had three, not terribly large, fish on his stringer. But for him, this was a personal record. His biggest catch, prior to the lucky streak with me, was two. While it may not seem like a giant leap forward, by my standards, for him, it was a great day fishing. And even a bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. Unless you fish for a living, like I do. The point being, however, is to judge this week, and your own goals by your own set of standards. While you may not stand up in comparison to someone like me, if you look at your own, internal set of mile markers, your own, internal guidance, you will find that you’re doing rather well. Don’t be comparing your monumental accomplishments right now with the rest of us. For him, it was a 100% improvement over previous personal records. Use your own statistics for measuring right now — not somebody else’s arbitrary standards. And especially don’t listen to anybody’s obviously tall tales about how many fish he catches.
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Pisces: Happy birthday to the Pisces who still have birthdays going on. And if you’ve already had your Fish Day, then consider it a good time to still be partying like there’s no tomorrow. Of course, just as soon as you wake up, there really is a tomorrow. Enough philosophical posturing, too. Is it a good week, or not? That, my fine Fish Friend, is up to you. I’d call it a fifty-fifty chance. There’s a growing sense of fear, a sense of “something big is about to collapse” — this sense has been nagging at the back side of your brain for a while. It’s not always a bad idea to run your hunches past a fellow Non-Pisces person, though, just to make sure. I trust you. You trust you. But the source of this intuitive sense of dread this week isn’t to be trusted. In other words, if you keep looking for something bad to happen, then it will. But if you test your idea, just bounce it off some folks without a lot of Pisces in their chart, then you might find that there is really nothing that dreary about to happen. More or less. Yes, there are always a few terminally negative types out there, and I strongly urge you to stay away from them, just for a little while. That would include doomsayer astrology types.
(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001 for astrofish.net
