“The lunatic, the lover, and the poet
Are of imagination all compact.”
Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream [V.i.7-8]
New Thursday format! Bowing to certain restrictions from the publishing side of life, this is the debut of a Thursday column.
Aries: It’s always darkest before the dawn. Nice way to look at this coming few days. And, strictly speaking, it is usually coldest right before the dawn. But there was some strange weather here, just the other day, and while it was really cold just before sunset, some kind of warm, Southern breeze warmed things up overnight, and it wasn’t that bad the next morning. It’s a nice way of looking at your coming week, too, as it’s the same thing: it’s Texas weather. Rather unpredictable. Not unlike my most recent date. There are a few things you can count on, though, like there will be a change. If it’s good, then there might be shift for the worse. But if it’s bad, then you know things will get better. And like that Texas weather, it’s bound to be different, no matter what I suggest. A little less time dwelling on your own problems, and little more time spent listening to other people might actually help you. [It’s a stretch, but I wouldn’t suggest it if it wasn’t written in the stars.]
Taurus: The Moon moves herself into a good place for your personal, Taurus weekend. But after this coming weekend, get ready for a load of smelly, organic cow by-product to get dumped on you at work. That means you should enjoy the next couple of days as best you can, maybe still have that party going from the New Year and all, but after that, it’s time to close the party down, roll up your sleeves, and jump into that pile of work. There is a boost, a certain amount of lift you get. It’s from the stars, or, more specifically, it’s from one planet in particular, and that would be mysterious Mr. Neptune. He makes an angle to Saturn, and for the strangest of times, even though yo are looking at a pile of work, for some reason, the load doesn’t bother you too much. Happily tackle work under this influence. You will amaze us, and yourself, with the cheery way you deal with huge quantities of “work.”
Gemini: You are less than pleasantly pleased with the way things are going with your partner [mate, spouse, fishing buddy, significant other, cat or dog]. I’m not sure which one it is, but one — or more — of your cohorts is not pulling his or her weight. This is a problem. There are two, as far as I can see, there are two solutions. One is to scream, rant, rave, and generally get in the face of the person responsible for the lack of harmony in your life. But there’s a better way to get them to work with you, instead of pitching a fit. Try a little kindness, understanding, maybe a little “bait and switch” and see if that doesn’t get you what you’re looking for. You can just as easily coax kindness out of your source of trouble, and you might be surprised, a little kindness, some of that wonderful Gemini wit, goes a lot further towards reaching your own agenda than any amount of yelling and screaming.
Cancer: As a fishing guide [to the stars], it’s my illustrious task to drag people out and around, and find the best places — and times — to fish. What are you fishing for right now? We — your Cancer self and me — we have to pick a target, select one of the many goals you’ve got, and refine that idea until you are down to the barest of the ideals. What are you reaching for? What’s your target? I know you’ve got a plethora of ideas kicking around. I know that you’ve got a whole boat full of directions you want to run with. For the next few days, pick one. One idea, one thought process, one goal, one direction. Now, what are the steps necessary to get there from here? Lots of questions which need to be answered by you, but the more clear you are about the goal, the easier it is to get there.
Leo: I stumbled on a good expression, the other day: “Pixilated.” What it means, and it’s a mostly an American expression (oddly enough), the definition means something like, “led astray by pixies.” See: you can’t use the term crazy, unless it meant insane, and the term “pixilated” suggests a behavior which is not understood by practical minded people. Leo’s are usually practical minded, and Leo’s are usually the most correct of all the signs. But there’s this hexing, vexing little thing from the planets, and during the next few days, sooner or later, you’re bound to feel pixilated, that is, led astray by pixies and faeries. As a rational human being, I’d have to suggest you watch out for this, but as a lover of Leo’s, I’d have to suggest to go ahead and enjoy the spacy, weirdness of it all. You make the call, but I’d suggest you have some fun with it, either way.
Virgo: There’s one of those strange restaurants here, a place which is actually a sub shop on one side, and a Vietnamese restaurant on the other side. The wall between the two places has a big fish tank, filled with over-stuffed gold fish. I was sitting there, with a friend, next to the tank, having some dinner. All the fish in the tank congregated next me. We got a laugh out of this, me as a fishing guide, but there’s something else that it brings to mind: Virgo. This week. You’re just sitting there, and all of a sudden, all the fish in the tank seem to want to be your friend. It’s nice situation, and one that seems to defy any logical explanation. I can explain the way the planets line up, all that stuff over yonder in Capricorn, and how that’s good for you, but I’d be wasting our time. When you find yourself in the spot light, even if it’s just the fish, enjoy it. Your inherent charm and grace shines through right now.
Libra: You’re going to get a little upset with me, but there’s nothing I can do about that right now. See: it’s work. That’s what really needs your attention right now. You know that, and I know that. And next thing, you’ll complain because I don’t seem to understand that you’re so busy right now, you hardly have time for any more work. But if you were to put in a few extra hours with at least one of the projects you’ve got going on, just a little extra time, I’ll suggest that this merits some reward in the near future. The problem with the term “the near future” is that I’m suggesting some sort of unspecified time in the next few weeks, and you would really like to see some rewards for your efforts, like now. Can’t do that. Keep looking long range on this. Won’t be this week, but you know that a little extra effort will get the job done, and then you can play.
Scorpio: There is a pressure point in the Scorpio chart, and if you make it past the pressure point, then you’re in for some clear sailing ahead. Hey, no one loves Scorpio’s as much as I do. And this pressure point? It hits sometime in the middle of the weekend. MAke it through that without losing your cool, make it through that without letting anyone arouse that famous Scorpio temper you’ve got, and you’re set for nothing but good times ahead. And it’s only one, little spot in an otherwise rosy few days. Your wit, your grace, your wit, your charm, and did I mention your wit? all of that works pretty well. Mostly. Of course, you should always be a little careful with that Scorpio wit because not everyone appreciates the fine way you can turn a phrase on its edge, the way you can tweak a little extra loaded meaning out of a simple expression. And that’s the pressure point I was trying to warn you about. But other than that? You guys are in excellent shape right now.
Sagittarius: “Houston, we have a problem.” Enigmatic words, and certainly a loaded expression that carries a little weight with it. But what Sagittarius is dealing with this week is some emotional problems, or problems that carry some emotional baggage with them, or weight. Or wait, is it really that bad? Not really. There’s a toddler’s game, a childhood toy that has these little things that pop up on a plastic playing board. The object is to smack them back into their respective holes with a mallet. I’m not sure what the educational purpose of the game is, but the concept of using a large rubber mallet to hammer a problem back into its place is a good image. As the problems spring up out of their holes, be prepared to bang them back into their places. It’s that simple. Deal with each exigency as it arises. Hit it squarely on the head, and then move on to the next challenge.
Capricorn: There comes a time when all the odd bits of gravel in the heavens all seem to line up just right. This is one of those times. People around you are having a tough start to the new year. Some folks are just upset as can be about this or about that. some folks are even going so far as to blame their astrologer for all of their own woes. Imagine that? However, in the Capricorn scheme of things, life is good right now. It may not be absolutely great, but there are number of little things that are occurring — little things that indicate this is a good time. period. End of discussion. While it might not be the best of times, you’re going to find, especially this coming weekend, you’re going to find that there are some rather amusing and even stimulating experiences headed your way. Good stuff. If I were a gambling man, and I’m sad to report I’m not, but if I were gambling man, then my money would be on Capricorn for the next few days. It’s a safe bet.
Aquarius: One of my better Aquarius acquaintances is a lovely blonde woman. Like this is any surprise? Hardly. We got together to go over her birthday chart and to have some fine (Vegan) food. I suggested one form of music. She had a loud, plaintive retort, “Gack.” I suggested something more classical. Same answer. I suggested one form of culinary experience. Same answer. I suggested a current movie, “Oh please. Gack.” It wasn’t too long into the conversation before I figured out that no matter what I suggested, it would meet with a universal response. “Gack.” I’m not sure what the word really stands for, but this interchange comes to mind while looking at the Aquarius chart. See: nothing looks bad to me, but there is this slightly unfortunate thing going on, and no matter what we try to do, it will meet with universal displeasure from the Aquarius components. And while the stars are sorting themselves out to make merry in Aquarius, it isn’t quite that time yet, and no one will be able to please you quite yet. Be patient. There’s some good stuff, just around the corner. In the meantime, maybe we cold try a different phrase?
Pisces: Most folks think that once New Year’s Eve is over, the party stops. The party, at least for Pisces, doesn’t stop. It shouldn’t even slow down. The party keeps on going, and the music never stops. It’s like this, MArs is in Pisces. Mars is like that ubiquitous bunny rabbit with the special brand of batteries, and it just keeps on going, and going and going. Likewise, Pisces has got one of those batteries in it. It just keeps on going and going and going. The good news is, when it comes to being party animal, no one can ever keep up with a Pisces. So your personal celebration just keeps on going. Personally, I’m glad that the Pisces trailer is located far away from my trailer because it’s been a continuous ruckus ever since this Mars thing started. As long as you’re at the center of attention, though, might as well give them something to talk about. The gossip around this trailer park, and the stories about the Pisces trailer, and all its activity are getting pretty good. Don’t let up now, the stories about your Pisces self are just getting really entertaining. Give us something more to talk about. After all, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. Who said that?
