For the Week of: 11/6-12/2003

“There’s a stewed phrase indeed!”
Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida [III.i.40]

It’s Scorpio time, and I do love me some Scorpio’s even if they never see fit to return the love. Been an interesting time so far, and I’ll just promise that it gets more interesting as we go.

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Scorpio: One more round of happy birthday wishes for the Scorpio slices of the sky! Plus, there’s even some better news, just waiting, or just fixing to happen, or maybe, it’s going on right now. These portends for the immediate future really are quite good. Only caution I would offer up has to do with increased activity. Sometimes, you know, you just can’t be bothered. It was gorgeous fall afternoon the other day. Sun was out [in Scorpio, no less], clear blue sky, day warmed up nicely, and all I could think about was getting away from the keyboard and getting outside.

But the longer I worked, the more tired I got, and then the couch seemed like the place to be. Just a momentary respite from an otherwise busy day, just a chance to rest and relax, right? Next thing I know, I’d slept through the best part of the afternoon, the warmest and most inviting part of the day, and it was getting chilly out. Since I’d left the back door open, I was getting cold. Either I wasted a perfectly good afternoon, taking a two-hour nap on the couch, or I let my internal batteries recharge. I could berate myself for wasting good sunlight, or I could just admit maybe I was doing what I needed most. Hey, if you have to take a nap in the middle of the day? You know what my fine Scorpio friend? That’s okay. An afternoon spent doing nothing might be a special birthday gift.

Sagittarius: One of my neighbors came by the other afternoon, “Hey, what are you doing? Want to go have some breakfast? What’d you do last night? Why are you so tired looking, was it fun?” Actually, I’d stayed up late reading a good book. But trying to reconcile my reputation in a trailer park with what I was really doing is a bit difficult. “Oh, so that’s what you’re calling it these days? ‘Reading a book’?” My neighbor laughed at me, and went on her merry way. But I really do live like monk. And particularly these days? It’s a good way to live, for us Sagittarius types.

A couple of little influences are floating in our sign right now, mostly Venus, so reading a book is good. Staying up late and looking haggard because it was an exciting text? Sure, Venus allows us a few little pleasures like that. As long as the Sun is in Scorpio, though, it’s good time to let other folks talk about us, and perhaps, we can spend our Sagittarius time in more solitary — monk-like — pursuits.

Capricorn: I warned you about this, didn’t I? I told you this was going to happen, right? Right. Did you listen? Not particularly. Or you thought my metaphor was a little bit off, or you didn’t understand the fishing analogy. Or some other excuse, right? Right. Therein is the problem, there’s something that your Capricorn self is not willing to admit, and admitting that there is a problem is the first step in finding a solution, right?

Right. Feel like I’m lecturing a roomful of Capricorn’s right now. Feels like I’m looking out over an audience, and that audience is restless, grumbling, and worst of all, not paying attention. The more you pay close attention to what’s right in front of you, the better off you’ll be.

This has a lot to do with Mr. Saturn. He’s trying to drive home a point, and you’re not listening. In fact, it feels like we’re just not communicating. “What we have here is failure to communicate.” Where’s that line from? I can’t remember. No, don’t look it up right now, the source is not important. It’s not a trivia question, you’ll get no prize for finding a source of that quotation. Or the actor’s name. But watch the excuses. And try to pay a little more close attention to certain matters that really do require some Capricorn energy and attention. Best bet is to show up for work a little early, and plan on a few less social engagements these days.

Aquarius: It was one of those moments from the nature channel, or maybe it was a just weird observation by me. I was traversing a narrow avenue near the lake, old neighborhood I once lived in, as a matter of fact, and I glanced up at the racket the birds were making in the Live Oaks, right over my head. I was pretty sure, from previous observations, that these were just common grackles and skinny blackbirds, a common enough sight around here. Much to my dismay, the ruffling, chirping, restless noises were Cattle Egrets. Or Common Egrets. Or I don’t know, some kind of leggy, white bird.

Someplace else in town, there’s a mess of grackles and blackbirds, all upset that they were displaced for a night. When I tried to describe the scene to a friend, I told her I had no egrets. “Kramer, that joke didn’t fly.”

Two points to take from the tale, trying to make bad jokes are usually a set-up for someone else to close with the better rejoinder. Just be aware of that. But more importantly, pay attention to some rather quotidian details that you usually overlook. In the Aquarius life, there’s a clue, a hint, a suggestion, and it’s right in front of your face. Don’t look for something that’s too deep or too symbolic, look for that obvious clue right in front of you. Like just glancing up and seeing something that’s the same, but different, from what you were expecting.

Pisces: One of my Pisces friends is having a bit of trouble with romance. “Am I magnet for freaks, or what?” Of course, that question no sooner comes out when I hear, “don’t even think about answering that with some of your astrological mumbo jumbo, it’s a rhetorical question, okay?” Fine with me. Mars is in your sign. Frying his way along, as it were. I’m pretty sure you agree about the frying part, too. I listened to her complain, then we moved onto other topics.

A little later, some guy comes over to us and starts making small talk, obviously angling for my Pisces friend. I wouldn’t say that this other male was exactly a winner, though. After he slammed into that Pisces Wall my friend had up, he finally got the cue after three negative responses to his entreaties of passion. The guy wanders off. My Pisces friend looks at me, “Mars right? Are you going to tell me that this is the gender who’s responsible for fathoming the definition of matter itself? Sub-atomic physics are a specialty, right? And I can’t even get a date?” Look, you can be as frustrated as my friend, wound up tight with that sharp wit, or you can be more proactive about what it that your Pisces self wants. It is Mars, and yes, he’s just frying right along. Use it. Or, in her case, abuse it. It can be good.

Aries: Texas is nothing if not a land of extremes. And when there aren’t limits, we tend to try to push excess little further than need be. I was wandering through downtown Austin, moments before a University of Texas football game [Hook ‘Em Horns]. Two fighter jets streaked overhead, right at ground level, doing some kind of an obligatory flyby. I first I thought the demonstration of fly-jet-power was for the state capital, but the jets’ direction, level, and apparent speed suggested they were targeting the stadium, instead. Probably a sell-out crowd, too.

What was funny to me, in the wake of those jets, a couple of car alarms started to go off. I don’t think that was a planned side effect. Careful when you start rattling cages, or other forms of confines, or, for that matter, make an overly exuberant show of your Aries excitement. You might, inadvertently set off a few car alarms, leaving a lingering legacy that’s not quite as endearing as your original goal. Of course, standing nearby on a corner someplace, there will be a Sagittarius astrologer, grinning at the sound effects.

Taurus: Some events occur too fast. Sometimes you are forced to render a decision without having adequate time to consider all the options, ramifications and subsequent possible outcomes long before the decision itself is required. “I’m thinking!” is the standard Taurus retort for the time. Nothing’s worse than being forced to decide, “yes” or “no” long before you’ve had your own set Taurus time to consider which answer will serve you best.

The cliché expression around here is “fish or cut bait,” which, in and of itself, is pretty funny expression because we really don’t spend too much time cutting bait. I tend towards little plastic lures that don’t appear to be natural. However, most of those lures are a lot better than anything Nature ever came up with. I know that a bright orange worm, or the frequent winner, the bubble gum pink ones, I realize that they don’t resemble anything in Nature’s arsenal, but those bits of plastic do work pretty well. But which color is best? At times like this, the best thing to do is just attach something, and go with it. Not having much luck? Blame your decision process and the fact that you were hurried. “I knew I should’ve used a metal-flake lime-green worm this morning.”

Gemini: Sometime around the beginning of November, there will be a few days when it’s really nice out. Not in the morning, as it’s still cold and damp. Nor in the evening, as it’s cold and dark. But sometime, right around the middle part of the day, it’s great outside. It’s a time when the body just begs to be outside. I prefer a short hike, and I suggest shorts, sandals and a Hawaiian shirt. As near as I can tell, this seems to be an Austin-centric type of attire and weather pattern. But it’s just gorgeous.

We’ve already had one threat of a cold snap, and the days are getting shorter. I understand, that in parts of the country, the “Fall Colors” are out. But around here, it’s the cold nights and that brief, Indian Summer weather. Deal is, when I head out on one of these warm afternoons, I usually take a flannel shirt with me, just to be sure I’ve got some kind of cover once the sun sets. I’m suggesting the same for Gemini. Maybe not in a literal fashion, but more along in a metaphorical sense. Even though something seems deceptively pleasant, a little extra preparation wouldn’t hurt.

Cancer: “I’m a Cancer; I’m moody,” one of my clients told me during an interview. I don’t find that the word “moody” really accurately describes the moods, the tones, the emotional milieu that my representative Cancer feels. “Moody” has a connotation of being, I don’t know, like depressed or something. Brooding. Dark, foreboding. None of that is particularly good, at least, it doesn’t sound too good.

Of course, there’s Saturn in your sign, and yes, he does seem to weigh heavy on a few of the dear Cancer types, but the rest of you? There’s no reason to succumb to some outdated wording that really doesn’t match what you’re feeling. There are highs and lows this week, but the highs are pretty good, and there are more positive influences than there are lows. Might be a problem of two, but those can be easily surmounted if you approach the problem correctly. Try one of my favorite lines, “No problem, I’ll get to that just as soon as I can.” There are at least two favorable points in the next week, and only one negative position. Do what you can with that, but the odds are, it’s better than it has been.

Leo: Slow it down. Don’t be too hasty. While I’ll agree that Leo is the best Fixed Fire Sign, and while I know that your Leo judgment is usually the very best of any of the signs, there’s just a little problem. Scorpio. Old Mr. Sun is in a water sign. Fire and water are supposed to make steam. And they frequently do, make steam.

This involves a situation, which can rapidly escalate into a major shouting match, and that gains your dear, sweet Leo self nothing, if you let this happen. So someone’s going to bait you. Next couple of days, probably has something to do with the fast approaching weekend, but this could happen as late as next week. When that other sign baits you, look circumspect. Go easy. Hasty, knee-jerk reactions don’t move the situation any further along. It’s like throwing more lighter fluid on the barbecue, it just results in larger flame, doesn’t hasten the process of making a good grilling opportunity better. Some situation, much like that grill, needs a little time before you react. In fact, reacting, in and of itself, isn’t the best route. Maybe a thoughtful, planned, counter-action would be better.

Virgo: We were towing a boat back from Oklahoma, not long ago. Strange place to fish, but it was okay. I was driving and I didn’t have my usual Virgo fishing buddy with me. Instead, I was with a different Virgo client, and we’d had a marginally successful weekend of it. I pulled into a gas station to fill up the truck, and the pump attendant was smoking a cigarette. My Virgo buddy went ballistic, under his breath, complaining about the fire hazard, just sure we were all going to blow up and die a fiery death, roasted like last week’s barbecue on the concrete apron of some filling station in middle of some nameless town in Southern Oklahoma.

I can’t write the statistics, and I didn’t write it down but he was going on and on about “parts per million” and how flammable regular gasoline is, and the fumes, and the effects of carcinogens and so forth. Well, I’m here, and he’s there, so we didn’t roast. Nothing blew up. But gasoline is flammable. And Virgo is getting a little tense about something. Careful you don’t blow up.

Libra: I showed up for a reading at a coffee shop the other afternoon. I had, just outside the coffee house, shrugged into a t-shirt, so I was in one of my “extreme casual” modes. I sauntered up the table and started to rummage around in my pockets, eventually coming up with a phone that calculates astrology charts, three different printed charts and brand-name pen for making notes. “I guess those cargo pockets are your briefcase?” [New client, not familiar with the way I work.]

In the Libra eyes, I was a tad too casual. In the eyes of the astrologer, me, I had everything I needed to work. My aggressively casual style belies the seriousness I employ when I’m reading a chart. Bet you encounter just such a problem, soon. You have a gracious, off-hand manner that belies the seriousness of your approach to the problem. Quick Libra wit, a sharp answer, and grace, a term that’s fallen out of favor these days, this all points to a diplomatic manner in which you’re addressing a serious bit of trouble.

(c) 2002, 2003 by Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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