I always wondered

More specifically, November Sagittarius. Include Kinky and that girl in line behind us? That covers Scorpio, too, at least November Scorpios.

On my way to the bookstore, I needed to back track and swing through the post office to mail a taped reading and check the mail. A local singer/songwriter/ex-boyfriend/rock star (and all-around nice guy) was there, sucking down a wee espresso and a chowing on a cookie. Long, blond hair, sculptured cheek bones, sparkling blue eyes, and bare arms.

“Sagittarius, right?” I asked. I’ve done this before to this guy, he’s enough of a public persona to be unflappable.

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Hey, do you really have a tattoo that says, ‘Her Name’ on your arm?” I asked. I was facing his left side. He turned around. There it was. “Can I get a picture of that?”

“Sure.”

He posed. I joked about wanting to get a tat with a heart and scroll through it that said, “Your name here.”

“No,” he countered, “just leave it blank. Then you can put any name in with a sharpie.”

One – or more – of his ex-girlfriends are clients.

So I walked on over to the bookstore, and snapped a shot of the next governor of Texas, and went inside to buy the book. There was another Sagittarius girl. Former tenant from my brief stint as an apartment manager. With another tale about a sordid experience with a landlord. it’s so freaky, she’s a November Sagittarius. Then there was a that Libra again, with her latest (uh, dear, what do I call him?), and I had him down cold. 11-28 Sagittarius.

Odd duck, that lad. Well-read. Literate but unwashed. Reminds me of me. The similarities were scary. Very cool guy.

After the talk, while standing in line, there was that Scorpio alert going off in my head. November Scorpio girl behind us. I asked her birthday, and I took a mock step backwards when I realized it was a Scorpio.

“It’s okay, Scorpio: silent but violent,” she said.

She grinned.

Book celebrities

Ten Little New Yorkers by Kinky Friedman, and we can only hope that his bid for Governor has a chance. He was in town last night, ostensibly, to promote his book. do the book signing thing. (Sign? Scorpio. Kinky’s a Scorpio.)

The last time I saw Kinky talk, I was in San Antonio for work. From what I recall, he seemed a little harried. Just life on the road, I suppose. But in town, last night, he was more calm, assured, and the joking, the trenchant wit, was all back in good form.

About a previous career?

“I was the first full-blooded Jew to be on the Grand Ole Opry. Twice. Three times?”

He had to ask to verify it was just twice.

And as an avowed Jew, he’s got some good thinking about the whole political correctness that’s damaging social discourse. Okay, so he swapped his Yamaha for a black cowboy hat, but still, to hear him say, “I think we should still be able to say, “Merry Christmas.'”

Rock the vote.

First dip in the springs this year.

RAQ
Rarely Asked Questions

Kramer, like what’s your real name?

First ID card I ever got, I must’ve been about 6 years old, “Kramer Wetzel.” Real name, no joke.

And no, that character on the rerun TV show? Not patterned after me.

Do you really go by “Bubba”?

Yes and no. Currently, it’s in the email program, but that started as a joke, and regrettably, it’s another one of those jokes that won’t die. So I left it. I’ll answer to just about anything, provocative, profane, profound, or provocatively profound and profane at the same time.

Why do you fish?

The world is divided into three groups, people who can count and people who can’t. No, seriously, either you’re a hunter or you’re a gatherer. Hunting is too much work these days, and kind of messy, but I can fish right out my back door. CPR (Catch Photograph Release), much like dating, satisfies my primal urge to “hunt” without having any of the mess to deal with. Yes, it’s sport, but at least it works in harmony with nature. Unlike dating, which I never figured out.

How would you feel if you were jerked out of the water with a hook in your lip?

Right, animal rights need to be observed, have you hugged a bass today? On several occasions, I’ve caught the exact same fish more than once in an afternoon. If the same fish comes back again and again, I can’t see that I’m doing any damage, right? Besides, fish don’t have hands or arms, and the easiest way to test a possible food source is to stick in the their large mouth. I caught one particular fish more than a half-dozen times in less than two weeks. Personally, I think that fish had crush on me.

We live in a time when people pay good money to have their bodies, and especially their faces, pierced. Think of it as a lip piercing for the fish.

Particular with Large Mouth Bass, I mean, if those guys ever got big enough, I’m sure they’d try to eat a boat, I can pretty much imagine one of the bass talking to the other, “Dude. Dude! Just bite, it’s a rush!”

Punk-ass fish.

Are you a sexist pig?

With a nod to a certain cousin, from whom I lifted this line, yes, I am a sexist pig. The patriarchy is going to fall, but I’ll still be mired in my old-fashioned and out-dated ideals.

Your horoscopes, like, you know, they don’t make any sense this week.

Two-part answer, really.

Part the first:
Paid-up subscribers have quicker access, and when I recognize an e-mail address from a subscriber, I endeavor to clear up any obfuscation.

Part the second:
I generally use two charts plus anything else to help define moments when important astrological transactions are occurring, and that’s the bare bones for each weekly scope. From there, I attempt to tease out the most important flavor of the moment, then handcraft a custom-fitted tale to explain how that energy might play out.

There are no absolutes.

Especially with astrology. Sometimes my metaphors and allegories might be a bit strained. But rather than pretend to be objective, I can only openly admit my prejudice. Which, as I’ve observed, most of the authors in my field, don’t do.

While I try to offer useful tidbits, as well alternative ways of dealing with planetary influences, at least one week out of every month, your horoscope is going to be a head scratcher. Sorry about that, I can’t nail it right one-hundred-per-cent of the time.

What’s gotten more amusing, though, is that a number of people want to be told what to do. I suggest computer-generated, ghost-written copy from other online services for that.

If you want someone else making decisions for you, maybe you ought not be reading this material in the first place. I presuppose an ability to think for one’s self. Silly me.

What’s your favorite music?

While I’d like to believe that I have very diverse tastes, I tend towards three genres most of the time. “Texas Music,” which is mostly localized country and/or western and/or folk/rock/blues and this material (and artists) rarely translate well out-of-state. Then there’s my “techno” side, and that’s what I keep on one iPod these days. Useful for keeping me awake. Finally, I’ve grown accustomed to some opera. My favorite is Siegfried – boy overcomes childhood adversity, slays the dragon, gets the girl, they all live happily ever after. Except for the dragon, he’s still dead in act III.

Something smells fishy here.

I’m wearing the same shorts I wore last night. When I dug the camera out of my pocket, I must’ve accidentally wiped a little “eau de poisson” on the material. It happens.

Help.

I need some more RAQs.

Morning coffee notes
Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Maybe it’s my disposition? I found this strip’s message very amusing.

From the inbound mail:
> What changed about 4:00 yesterday?
> I figure it was the planets or a grumpy cloud hit Austin about
> that time.

When I looked at the chart, at that moment, it was the Sun 9 degrees of Pisces, Venus, 9 degrees of Pisces and Retrograde Mercury, 9 degrees of Pisces. It’s no wonder that I over-slept and over-indulged. I can blame the planets.

(Don’t try this in your home, kids. See the fine print for details.)