For the week starting: 12.10.2009
"You have as little honesty as honor."
Shakespeare’s Henry VIII (All That is True) [III.ii.271]
Wolsey to Lord Surrey, who, with others, has accused him of treason.
The official Xmas card is here.
Barefoot Astrology instructional video is here. Just in time! The new book, The Portable Mercury Retrograde, is now available!
Weekly video, or as an audio file.
Sagittarius: Xmas Tamales are a local tradition. Personally, in keeping with the spirit of the season, I think the tamales should be served with both red and green sauces. But that’s just me. Properly, a tamale is a kind of dough — usually masa flour and lard — wrapped around beef or pork, or maybe peppers — then wrapped in a corn husk.
Properly prepared, these are the most amazing culinary treats. However, the actual preparation takes some work. It’s labor-intensive cooking. Unlike most of my cooking, which doesn’t involve labor on my part at all. I’ve got one client who bemoans the fact that the tamale-making is a dying art. Towards that end, I got to sit in on an afternoon of patting dough, wrapping, and then wrapping in corn husks, and I promise, I will never, ever say anything mean about anyone in the kitchen (cocina) ever again.
My hands were raw, my shoulders ached, and I was deaf in one ear from a radio ceremoniously tuned to a Tejano (mostly Spanish) station. This is an experience I suggest every Sagittarius try, tries according to gender and local custom, but I also suggest we try this just once. I still have flour in one ear from that.
Capricorn: "Weirdest question? You know this place used to be a strip bar, right? So some guys come in here and ask when the girls will be dancing."
Answer to my query at a coffee shop that I’ve been known to frequent. I didn’t know the history, which might make it funnier. Or not. But I was amazed. Coffee shop. Coffee shop patrons. Coffee shop employees. Not what I would expect to see dancing. However, that guy behind the bar, running the coffee machine, he was droll, a little dry and slightly laconic.
Could be a Capricorn. (Truth was, he is another sign, but for the sake of the horoscope, let’s call him a Capricorn, as he does have a Cap Moon.) It’s a lazy day in the middle of December. It’s a coffee shop on a slow afternoon. Some weird guy is asking inane questions. Humor him. Better yet, tell the truth. Tell the absolute truth when this kind of question comes up. Or any question. No need to embellish it, the straight facts are funny enough as they stand. Won’t fix everything but will be a much-needed bright spot.
Aquarius: I started this plan a few years ago. I noticed that my favorite computer company would release new models after the first of the year. So instead of getting something "in time for Xmas," I would just hold off.
As an Aquarius, looking at a couple of influences, like, Jupiter conjoin Neptune, I’d suggest you put everything off until after the first of the year.
The delay is good for you. Then, too, there’s that long-running Mars question, but that’s not really the issue at this moment. Except for one particular Aquarius (hello darling). My original thought about the Aquarius chart this week? Make a "wish list" of what you want for xmas. Keep it private. We’ll revisit that list in a few weeks when (1) the fog has lifted and (2) the infernal holidays are over.
Pisces: I got the weirdest anonymous e-mail.
"Get a job. Get a car. Get a haircut, you idiot."
I was mildly disturbed at first. Then I laughed. How long has it been since I’ve encountered "hair antagonism?" Hair bias? Persecution about my choice in hair length? This bothered me for a few minutes. I dismissed it, and while the note was slightly toxic, I just figure it’s a lot better to keep someone else up at night, fretting about my hair length, much better for someone else to be offended than for me to take offense at the note. That’s also a message for my little Pisces friends.
Be bothered because someone sent you an anonymous note that was meant to inflict a little pain? Does it really bother you? Or, by ignoring the note, does it cause more pain for the sender? Yeah, happy holiday to the anonymous note sender.
Aries: There’s a particular picture I want to take. It’s a highway sign, at the edge of the giant Interstate, and I’m a little reluctant to just stop, hop out of the rent car and snap a shot, not with rush-hour-like traffic whizzing past me at twice the legal speed limit.
To me, that sign is quite symbolic, enigmatic, and a source of personal inspiration. However, it’s not worth it to me, even though that rent car was insured, it’s not worth it to me to risk my own life. I’m not worried about the rent car. Some crazy Texas driver plows into the car, I got that "end to end" coverage. No problem. Car is paid for.
Only, I’m stuck with no car and the unusual question of why I was stopped by the side of the busiest and most dangerous section of freeway. Try explaining that to an adjustor. This goes through my mind every time I pass by without getting that picture. The danger — common sense — outweighs the artistic value of an image. Common sense should weigh a little more heavy on the Aries question of the day.
Taurus: Two words come to mind and this really hits hard in the Taurus Camp. Consternation and Obfuscation. Don’t confuse the two, either. One is about that scowl etched in the lines on your pretty Taurus face. The other is about confusing and apparently contradictory information coming and going to the Taurus communication center.
"I want this, no I want that, no I need this, no you need that."
That’s a single set of commands. And the problem. It’s not a single set of commands, it’s multiple calls for different actions, and none of it makes any kind of plain, logical sense. The way it should. Because nothing seems to make sense and because you’re left with a sense of consternation — resulting in that worried, pensive look? The first tidbit of advice, hear me out on this one, stay away from the easy way out.
Then too, this is a good time to avoid the sins of gluttony. I realize that’s a tough pill for a Taurus to swallow, but it’s simple. Turn that look of consternation into a look of "avoidance," like, you’re avoiding the sweet stuff. I’m not suggesting this for a long time. I’m not suggesting such abstinence for the whole of the month, nothing nearly so drastic. However, while there’s this confusing material floating around? Back off. Might not be the sweet stuff, could be any number of enticing situations. Black coffee — Decaf. That will be a good reason to scowl. And that’s as good an answer as anything.
Gemini: As the Sun, Moon and Venus move opposite from Gemini, there’s a sense of something going on. Kind of like an intense pressure in the back of your head, only , you’re not sure where it is all going. It’s like there’s a a certain amount — more so than usual — undecided energy that is hunting for a direction. Only, it can’t seem to find what it’s looking for.
Feel tired? Lay down for a quick nap? Eyes spring wide open. Drink a strong cup of coffee, and then, have to go lie down for a quick a nap. See, it’s all going backwards. It’s that energy of opposition, and it is exerting an undue amount of mixed up material. I know, it’s like throwing blueberries, yogurt, granola, natural apple juice and some carrots, all in a blender. Then hitting blend. With no top on. Those blueberries, even when frozen? It’s a mess. A big one Not that I have any experience with this, either. Nope, not me.
But this is a Gemini thing, like that push-pull energy, like the blender with no top? To keep from making a mess of the week’s frantic energies? Just consider putting lid on it. Like that blender, if you can’t find the real top? Any kind of make-shift cover works. Even better if there is a tight seal.
Cancer: The Christmas Crush is on. How much are you going to let this get to you? The pressure only gets more and more pronounced as the next few weeks flow by. It’s this next three to five days that are the worst.
After that? Can you discern what’s internal pressure, that voice — or voices — inside your Cancer head instead of what’s outside pressure? The next few weeks? That’s outside pressure. Marketing, advertising, family, friends, neighbors, the odd astrologer, "Here, let me show this deal…." But the next couple of days? That’s inside pressure.
Differentiate between those sources. Inside, outside, Cancer pressure from within, market forces from without. Big difference. Perhaps, the best clue to surviving the next few days? Figure out the actual source of one of those voices.
Leo: Xmas shopping time. What to do. Rhetorical question.
I heard myself with one of my best lines ever, as I was talking to my Sister, "Whatever you do, don’t go in the dollar store hungry."
I liked the ring to it. I liked the imagery that went with that. 99 cent stores, dollar stores, they have been long favorites of mine. There is a myriad of crap available. Mostly junk. Abandoned materials, last year’s cool stuff, now sadly out of fashion. Fashion items, now, sadly out of fashion and never destined to be "retro chic." Stuff that was cheap before? It’s really cheap in there.
There are a couple of warnings, like check the expiration dates. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t buy any food in such a place, but that’s just me. Which is why I had my suggestion, and this from my own, personal experience, I’m just suggesting, going shopping, especially on the cheap? Not a good idea to handle hungry. This is actually Leo-specific advice. The Mars pattern will be unfolding, and we’ve long since talked about this, right? There are sometimes the tiniest of preparations — like snacking on something before shopping.
Virgo: My voice mail beeped and I checked the number. It was terribly annoying, and this is the third time now, some automated sales call. Sounded different from the usual pitch, but I’ve heard it twice before, and now it’s just more annoying. I traced the number back to a call center/office in North Austin. Then I tried to see what I could do to file a complaint since my number was on the "do not call" list, and then, I was seeing what I could do, legally. Sue. File a complaint. Better yet, the next time I got a call, and I got shunted into the automated calling tree, automated sales tool?
I just left the phone on the desk, and I started typing a Virgo horoscope. About how to deal with annoying calls. I just let the guy who was taking notes on the other end? That just burned up their time, and the company’s money, and I’m not nearly as aggravated anymore.
There’s going to be a source of ire and aggravation in the next few days. I can foresee that, for Virgo, happy holidays. Finding and appropriate way to deal with it? That’s what I’m good for. Like I suggested, do something that annoys them back, some action that is equal. Equally painful, in a time-wasting way.
Libra: I found a batch of classic Xmas cards. I’m not one who sends these things out, but I couldn’t resist these cards. "Merry Christmas and have a great 2004!" On the inside of the card, there was a note about "I have to stop shopping at the discount warehouse." As time goes by, those cards get funnier and funnier, something that ages well. Then again, some of my jokes don’t age so well, and that might be a problem.
There are two points, really, to this week’s message: cheap is better and cheap can be funny, and you’re a Libra, so cheap will be important. The second is more about my humor, and when the joke wasn’t too funny the first time? Don’t flog it again and again. Well, I will, but then, I get predictable results. My results don’t have to be the same for Libra. Stop. Doesn’t work? Stop.
Scorpio: The Butterfield Overland Trail, as I’ve been told, ran through Texas — Dallas to Abilene, down to Ft. Davis, and west to El Paso. Part of that route is still Interstate Highway.
What’s more important, though, is what’s missing from that route. Austin. San Antonio. The whole eastern flank of the Texas Hill Country. No stagecoach line through there. At least, not the famous, East to West line. I wonder if the folks realized, back then, once they got to El Paso? They were closer to California than the eastern edge of Texas? Never mind. This about that route that goes diagonal across the mid-section of Texas.
Let’s just pretend that Scorpio is the lower section, like Austin or San Antonio. Austin, the state Capital. San Antonio, all the military might. Scorpio, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, even, all bypassed. That’s the way this going to go. You’re going to feel like a piece of history is being routed right past your Scorpio self. At times, this might be a problem. Then again, at other times, this isn’t.
Scorpio: let’s sit this one out.
