“Mercy is above this sceptred sway,
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings.”
Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice [IV.i.189-90]

Capricorn: New Year’s Eve Party, like no other. What I observed? Tequila, jello shots, copious amounts of beer? White people really can’t dance. I used to make the claim that I, as a straight white guy, I know my limitations, and I can’t dance, can’t drink, and have no fashion sense. Not a problem. All about understanding what the limits are. The message about the white people who can’t dance and have no rhythm was sharply punctuated by a large hispanic guy. He was nicely dressed, but obviously a large man. Big. Big girlfriend, also with the flaming black tresses and jeans that were perchance too tight. The rock music died off and a country two-step came on. That big couple moved on to the floor with grace and ease, and while I wouldn’t want to bump them, or hinder their way, their fluidity, casual yet studied and practiced moves proved my point even more so. Refined and elegant, that couple, just excellent dancers. Which proved the point even more so while a country tune was blasting from the speakers and one other couple tried to join in. All about limits and knowing what those limits are. As a Capricorn, like me, I had no problem standing off to the side and tapping my toe, trying to keep beat. As long as it was my toe? Perfect, no one could see if I was really keeping the correct tempo. Didn’t matter.

Aquarius:

December weather, it’s like this, a slate gray sky. Feels like the ceiling is right on my head. Last month there were a few days like this, just horrendous, from my perspective. It’s an image that haunts me, too. Seen it almost every winter, at some point, these clouds that feel like they are right above me. Right on top. The texture, too, it’s like the old roofing slate. Looking up, it’s like looking at the underside of a roof made of slate, and the cloud cover, it seems frozen in space. I watched one afternoon, when I was walking, thinking the clouds were flowing in one direction. Then the tableau stopped again. Hard to imagine. I studied the sky closely, as I figure the clouds started several thousand feet in the air, but I did stop and look. Like me, looking at that depressing skyline, like me, you’re feeling stuck. You’re not stuck, but you feel like you are. New year, should be all kinds of new stuff. Just not off to that auspicious start we were all looking for in Aquarius.

Here’s the hint: it’s going to pass and you will feel much more optimistic. That slate-gray sky carries moisture, and in that, it’s like Aquarius, the bearer of water. Laden with idea, about to burst forth, but not quite. Just not yet, but almost. The new year, astrologically, for Aquarius, it isn’t here yet.

Pisces: The US Army’s last horse calvary was located at Ft Clark, now called Bracketville (TX). Soldiers on horses were eventually replaced by motorized infantry then airborne infantry, and these days, I like seeing more and more infantry replaced by machines. I’m a big fan of supporting our troops, but that’s not what this is about. This is about Jupiter, Uranus, Pisces, and the last pass for a while of that wild and exciting stuff. Kind of like a last stand. The horse cavalry is merely a historical footnote, and its final resting place, again, just side bar item, really. The weird hook is that Bracketville came into historical prominence a second time, and possibly more everlasting with its recreation of the Alamo, for the famous (if fast and loose with historical records) John Wayne movie. Calvary. Horse. The Alamo. Movie history and the unreal world of Hollywood. As a Pisces, you’ve got the weirdest influences. Jupiter is the lucky star and it lines up with Uranus, just as an odd cycle, and this unleashes all kinds of strange energy. Like Bracketville, you get a second chance, and like Bracketville, I’d like to think your Pisces self cleans up on this second chance.

Aries: I tried to figure out what a slightly obscure lettering meant. It was on the side of an old city utility vehicle. Covered and caked with dirt, grime and dust, all I could puzzle out was “Ron Potato,” which I never heard of, but that doesn’t mean “Ron Potato” isn’t a viable potato for the city. Eventually, this truck was parked, so as I passed it, I was walking, I managed to figure out what the message really was. There was another label on the truck’s door, “Non Potable Water — DO NOT DRINK.” The message was obscured by the layers of dirt and dusty grime. I’m not sure what the non-potable water was used for, although, I’m sure it had its uses. I would hazard a guess that it was used in a rather dusty environment, like watering down construction dust. Makes mud. There are two messages for Aries, one is obviously about figuring out what the obscure symbolism is. It’s just a generic warning, like “non-potable water.” Do not drink. Pretty simple. The other part of the message is figuring out what that occluded message is. Simple warning? Probably. However, like me and my pedestrian ways? Wait until you’re past the image and see if it isn’t a little more clear. Maybe don’t drink the water, too.

Taurus: “Texas used to be another country? Why’d we change that?” Valid question, been asked on both sides of the line, especially these days, times being what they are. Just exactly how long is your Taurus memory? Relax, that was a largely rhetorical question, because, as a Taurus, your memory is like one of those genetic memory things, you know, you remember stuff your ancestors knew. Not that it’s a problem because, I doubt you’re asking that very question, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find a largely rhetorical device working its way into your vernacular. You are pretty likely to say something that’s a little over the top, just for effect. Careful. Just a slight cautionary note. Venus — the Taurus main planet — moves out of Scorpio in a day or two. That spells momentary relief from whatever it is that’s been bothering you. Sometimes, this relief from the Venus pressure is simple, like an off-the-wall comment that has deep historical and rhetorical points. Substantial meaning. Or, it could be like you popping off a comment that’s a little too off-the-wall. Sounds like something I’d do. While I can sometimes get away with it? I’m not sure you want to follow me. New year, new start, I’d let someone else — not a Taurus — make the first mistake.

Gemini: If there were such thing as a “median-average” Gemini, if such a critter really existed, then the average — sum of the total points of Gemini, divided by the number of Gemini, then leavened with a cut-mark, right in the middle? That middle-of-the-road Gemini would be doing just fine. It’s the extremes of Gemini, and personally, I’ve found every Gemini to be extreme, usually in a good way, but this is the part that’s under pressure. The extremities. I was firing, the easiest way to express this, no, see, it’s like there’s a clear message that Gemini has to deliver. A message for all of us to listen to, but the content isn’t reaching the destination. That’s the problem. The tail-end of Gemini is being leaned on by Jupiter/Neptune in Pisces. Then there’s the pressure from Mercury at the very end of Sagittarius. Again, none of this is much, but together, those two, or three, depends on how you count, those couple of influences are causing friction. Message is there, but no one is listening to what your extra-fine Gemini self is saying. Hence the problem with extremes. “But Mercury isn’t retrograde!” Correct. However, there is no time better than now to shut up. Consider the influences and the approach of Venus headed into Sagittarius? Again, I’d like to reiterate the message. Quiet. “Sshhh.”

Cancer: In Texas, High School Football is a cherished institution. I’ve seen a high school football stadium rival college, university and even professional arenas. South of Austin, there’s a town called Canyon Lake, oddly enough, situated on Canyon Lake. The Canyon Lake Cougars, name of the local teams. Which, as is my style, invited a whole different level of terminology. The imagery alone is thrilling, the Canyon Lake Cougars. Wild packs of women of a certain age, preying on innocent males. Mars is in Capricorn, opposite you. Pluto and the Sun are also in Capricorn, opposite your Cancer self. This creates a little tension. How you choose to deal with that tension? I keep thinking about the Cougars of Canyon Lake. There’s a not-so-subtle, kind of predatory energy with this opposition. Consider yourself on the hunt, one way or another. The two operative words? Predator and prey. You are one, and you operate on the other.

Leo: Ringtones were fun for a while. I should link to some place that sells ringtones, but that’s too much trouble and the ethics might be a little gray. Not that I’m above gray ethical areas, just that I’m too lazy to be bothered to build the links for this kind of commerce. Besides, I thoroughly dislike disingenuous behavior for my Leo friends. This is about single ringtone, and I want you to stop before we go any further. Consider the song, the song’s clip, the message of the lyrics of the song, and the few bars that plays when the phone rings. The song is classic rock, from back in the day: “I want you to want me,” was all I heard. “I want you to want me, I need you to need me…” (Cheap Trick) That’s the band Cheap Trick, not the idea of cheap tricks. This isn’t about the lyrics or the song, it’s about what message does that send? Phone rings and it’s that song. Phone rings a half dozen times in the morning, and that gets old. Tiresome in a big (Leo) hurry. My buddy who had that on his phone, he thought it was funny. Amusing. Everyone else on the crew wanted to hang themselves by the end of the morning’s shift. To make this weirder, that buddy? He is married. Ringtone made no sense to me. As a mighty Leo, might want to stop and consider the implications of a song before you choose that for a ringtone. Or a similar, repetitive process — for all to hear.

Virgo: I was at an Xmas party, last month, with a handful of federal cops. Various officers, various levels of cop-dom, but basically, half the people there were guys with cop hair, cop plain clothes, and cop off-duty attitude. Armed, relaxed, alert, very funny. Some stories can’t be repeated because that was the deal, they’d tell me the tales and I wouldn’t repeat them. I don’t think the criminal class is getting any brighter, that’s for sure. Suddenly, one phone vibrated, another made a funny noise and a third phone had a terrible timbre to it. Part of a team, as I understand it, fugitive task force, or something like that. Party was over for the cops. Although, one of the cops, a Virgo, she smiled with a wicked little grin, a wicked little Virgo grin. “I’ve been waiting a while to take this one down.” I’m unsure of all the details, but that one cop, she was happy with the turn of events. She’d gladly sacrifice an Xmas party to take down an (alleged) offender. Tight little grin, a thin sneer on top of it. The cops just take the (alleged) person into custody. After that? It’s up to the legal system. Still, for one that got away? The revenge was sweet reward. Be prepared for that call to action, that notice that it’s time to put the drinks down and swing into super Virgo action, soon. This week. You’ll get notice. Be ever vigilant.

Libra: Ever wonder why a butter knife has a rounded edge and is useless for stabbing or cutting? Or, for that matter, just about any table knife — other than a good steak knife? Besides, with good steak, a sharp knife isn’t required. This isn’t about steak, or steak knives, it’s about something that is now quotidian and accepted practice, but where did it come from? The dull, rounded table knife? All the work of the Sun King, Louis XIV. He was worried about death threats and such. He mandated that table knives all have rounded ends, and that’s a tradition that’s been carried forward to this day. As a Libra, you’re questioning some kind of long-held and long-standing belief and tradition. How much if this are you going to stick to? How long are you going to put up with it because it’s “supposed to be that way?” Think about a small revolution, in Libra. Maybe sharpen those butter knives?

Scorpio:

It’s all about how you choose to react. Personally, I think you should be a little relieved about now. I’d like to suggest, as a Scorpio, what we should be looking forward to is a good time to fish, in the near future. Next spring, get in some coastal flats fishing? Sounds good. The deep winter brings professional bass fishing to parts of Texas, but I’m not sure I want to brave the stiff north wind for that. While the fish have plenty of fight, and hungry enough, the conditions don’t match what I would prefer. I’d rather not be out on the lake when the air temperature is just above freezing and there’s a north wind howling at 20 or 30 knots. Not my idea of fun, but that’s me. I’m not a Scorpio. If I were a Scorpio, first off one of you is going to place big in the coming pro-am bass tournament. Second, I’d look towards making arrangements for fishing, together, later in the spring. After it warms up a bit. Good time to lay down some plans, at least, let’s pick dates for good stuff, in the near future.

Sagittariu:s

Cold weather is alternately fun and alienating. All that clothing, makes me not want to go out at all. The brisk winter wind, a cold north breeze, stiff in my face as I walk some familiar route, then the return trip, wind at my back, again, cold and seemingly unforgiving. The cold weather tends to not last long, and what I call “cold” might not be all that cold compared to some places. Still, long pants, boots, all the winter gear in place? Seems terribly cumbersome to me. The alternative is to freeze, and again, this is a relative term. I’ve got yankee friends who laugh in my face at what I call cold. They’re still in T-shirts and shorts in the face of this weather. All sort of depends on what one is used to. The fun part, for me, come next summer, when it’s a blazing hot summer, like it will be, what’s fun, then, is the laugh at my northern friends who can’t take the heat and humidity. One or the other, but both? “I’m melting!” The astrological weather is changing, for Sagittarius. Remember that, too, and don’t laugh at the people like me, who suffer when the temperatures plummet below room temperature. As a Sagittarius, we should remember not to mock those same people, next summer. When we get our chance.