Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 9.29.2011

“Go hang thyself in thine own
Heir-apparent garters!”

Falstaff in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part 1 [II.ii.40-1]

The rotund Falstaff is annoyed with Prince Hal because the young prince refuses to help Falstaff mount a steed.

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Libra: Happy Birthday to the fun slice of Libra! Fun it is, too. It is fun, isn’t it? So it hasn’t been all fun and games, not lately, but if your birthday is this week? Think of a date with destiny. “You mean, like the hot (female) who works at the (affectionately referred to as ‘gentlemen’s club’ when it’s everything but)? I like her, she’s smoking hot!” That’s not what I mean, not at all. Unless, of course, that’s one of your ultimate dreams, maybe you do have a shot with that girl named “Destiny,” although, I’d bet, she’d spell her (stage) name something like “Destinee.” Who knows. I was thinking of something a little different, on larger, more important scale. The problem being, I’ve got one rather adolescent Libra buddy, and anytime I start suggesting alternatives to love and so forth, his mind heads straight to the gutter. Thought he’d outgrow that. Guess not. This is about a wish, and wish fulfillment, a cosmic contract, and delivery of the cosmic goods. To further antagonize this problem, though, there’s another piece of the puzzle, what you think you want, and what gets delivered because it’s what’s best for your Libra self? Might be different.

If you are a Libra, and want to discuss Saturn, or other aspects with your birthday chart, you can get a full hour reading for the price of half hour reading, just sign up here.

Scorpio Scorpio: Let’s start out with recitals. I love Scorpio. Love them, don’t fear them, but I treat them all with a certain degree of respect. Wide range of respect. Rule One: never, ever cross a Scorpio. The consequences are terrible. Awful. You will rue the day. Don’t Cross a Scorpio. Ever. The problem being, as long as Mars is freaking out in Leo?

The problem is, my dear Scorpio friend, you’re going to assume it was me or him, or her, who did you dirty. Me, or him, or her, we aren’t the ones. What we have here is false evidence that appears real. You come after me, or him, or her? You’re chasing the wrong person. “But I have a smoking gun, right here in my hands!” The Scorpio cries, “Proof!” No, what you have is a clever ruse, a typically Scorpio trick, someone has switched the evidence around. Looks like it was me, or him, or her, but it wasn’t. Before you make false claims, before you get even with me, or him, or her, make sure you’ve got your hands on the correct culprit.

Sagittarius: I’ve addressed, I hope I’ve addressed, the serendipitous nature of academic exploration. It’s not about going with a laser-like focus and hunting out one little fact, or even, just a factoid. Not big enough to be a single fact. No, that’s not what this is about. It’s about the way I was in a bookstore, looking for the latest fall release from a certain author. Didn’t have it yet, but then, it’s not due on shelves until early of October, I was just sort of hoping. Instead of that stupid “pre-order” price online, too. I wandered in and amongst the stacks of best-seller, thrillers, spy novels, how-to manuals, and the “idiots guide” series. I once mocked the “dummies” series, but then, they sold a lot more books than I did, maybe I should call my clients dummies. I’m not about to. The symbols and portents for Sagittarius are simple. It’s not about where you think you’re heading; it’s about where you wind up. Destination and eventual arrival at some place, different, but analogous, that’s what this is about. It’s not about what you think you’re looking for it, it’s about what you find as you go on that merry search. Let the magic work this week, let the accidental, seemingly accidental nature of discovery, let that happen.

Capricorn: I was using 8-pound test mono, Spider-Wire-brand of fishing line. I had a number three hook with five-inch watermelon, salt-and-pepper colored jerk-bait. Low, slow, rolling cast, gentle plop in the water, and slow retrieve until, “Pow!” Big fish hits it. Not really a big fish, but as black bass go, in that one lake, a decent fish. Small lake, medium-sized fish, to me. Fun, though, for sure. Hauled him in and got ready to just lift him into the boat, and the fish gave a mighty shake of his head, and right where that hook had been tied on? Fish broke the line. The first guess was he was more than 8 pounds, but that’s not really true. While there are some big fish in there, no, he wasn’t that big. Strong, for sure, and the side-to-side pressure of his head, he could easily generate more than the required energy to snap that line. Which he did. She did. Sure it was female. Big, old cow of a fish. Part of the reason I like using that strength of line is that this is a very rare experience. Right weight for some play, but light enough to finesse the bait and fish. A balance point. A balance point where I erred on the too-light side. You’re faced with a similar situation. My first advice is 10-pound line. There is a warning with that, though, if I’d been using ten-pound line, I doubt the fish would’ve hit my bait. Balance is tricky for Capricorn.

Aquarius: Pre-dawn, no light. I was up early because it was marginally cooler at that hour, off to a coffee shop for an expensive cup of breakfast. As I plodded through a well-worn neighborhood, two dogs started to follow me. One, I recognize from the wrong side of the fence, an old black lab with gray on his snout. He barks, in a lazy fashion. The other was his running buddy, a pit-bull. They started to trot after me. I turned around and tried to scare hem off. They followed me like puppies. Or ex-girlfriends, just not giving up the scent. That pair of dogs, in the early morning stillness, I could hear them behind me. Got most of the way to my destination, and I was worried that a master would be missing a dog, or, in the day’s later traffic, a possible accident. I crossed on street that will be busy, eventually, but at that hour was still deserted. I glanced back. The dogs were stopped. Sniffing. What had been a squirrel was more like a little hide and some dried blood, that caught their attention. I looked back a second time, and there was a light pole that required sniffing and then marking. I lost my wing men. Gratefully, I didn’t want to think that they would follow me downtown and then get hauled off to the doggy lock-up. What averted the problem was canine equivalent of a bright, shiny object, something dead and a pole that needed marking. This is about distractions, and in this example, distractions are a good thing. “Wow, look at that….”

Pisces: Stop. Before we go any further, just stop. Breath. In with the good oxygen, out with the bad. There. Feel better? Sure. The symbolism, what I teased out of the planets, for Pisces, it’s about a relationship. Primary, secondary, tertiary, one of them. Lover, wife, friend, significant other, insignificant other, the cat, the dog, I don’t know, the bird? One of those. You’re running into a fairly significant relationship where your “other,” whatever, whomever, that is, you’re hitting that person’s wall. They have a wall up. Typically, this wouldn’t be a Pisces problem at all, no wall will hold you back. This isn’t typical. It’s about working around, through, or over (under?) the problem. Still a problem, and it’s not the Pisces. Only, in this configuration, it is a problem. My heartfelt suggestion? Stop. The other person (animal, vegetable, mineral?) has erected a barrier. Stop. Go do something else. I think I’ll go fish for a little while, then we’ll come back and revisit this hard and fast barrier that seems to be impenetrable. Even to a Pisces. Who knew, right? Let it alone, this week. Messing with it will only serve to irritate the other problem. Their problem. Not yours.

Aries: The abstract artist Donald Judd (Gemini) is centered in the “minimalists” grouping. A term that the artist detested, but then, most artists don’t like being labelled. I’m familiar with Judd’s work, mostly, from frequent stops at his installation in Marfa, TX. I was touring one of the sheds with all the aluminum boxes, and I was hit with a profound sadness. Emptiness, stillness, the light slanting in, reflecting off the burnished aluminum, vague hills to one side and the prairie with more of the boxes arrayed in some pattern, pouring out of the museum. Display. Installation. Not really sure what to call it. The only way I can see him as a “minimalist” is that he used a vast expanse of space and set small pieces in the larger canvas. Like a big frame but a small picture. That doesn’t do the artist justice, though, because there’s also the actual size of some of the concrete, outdoor boxes. Huge. Well, big. Sculpture, to me, on the size of a small trailer. Maybe even bigger than a trailer I lived in. This is about context. The Aries message, it’s all about context. In the larger image, the big picture, what’s the context? Is that really a minimalist? Then, too, I’ve had more than one traveling companion just not see what the big deal was with the boxes. Different art affects people, well, differently. That time with the sadness in wan light of a cloudy summer afternoon, then, later, a little research into the artist and how how never thought he was a minimalist. It’s context. Have to look at the Aries issue, that issue, right now, in context.

Taurus: This starts out as a tough week, but the weekend, then the beginning of the next week, like next Monday? Each day, as the moon fills out, each breathing moment, life in Taurus land gets a little easier. The cause of your Taurus-vexation is the way this starts with the Jupiter-Mars flavor. Then is eases into lighter and lighter, but it does start with a heavy “kah-boom.” There’s a lingering sense that you have some unfinished business. I’d suggest that there’s a bit of work leftover. I can’t turn off my brain, not without access to certain pharmaceuticals. Which I don’t have access to, therefore, no turning off the brain. Same for Taurus. Take notes. Take a laptop, memory stick, some kind of work should go home with you on Friday afternoon — assuming — unlike me — you have basic “day job.” M-F, 8-5, right? There’s some extra work, do it now, and nip the big problem in the bud. A little extra effort before Monday? You’ll thank me on Tuesday. Fishing example? I have two, nearly identical 7-foot spinning rods. One has a rubber worm. The other has noisy top-water lure. If one doesn’t work? I have second one rigged and ready. Just switch poles. But I planned that set-up? This weekend.

Gemini: Time, tide, and travel changes a person. Changed me. My office used to be the back of a bass boat. These days, it’s the lounge in a coffee shop. Or the “home office,” which is wherever the computer I’m using happens to be. It’s changed from a trailer in South Austin to whatever accommodations I can eke out. I’m good with that. I was watching the changes, catalog the best of times, and then the worst of times, and then I got stuck. I was spending so much time looking back over my shoulder I didn’t notice where I was, now. All right, my fine little Gemini friend, friends, here’s the deal, looking over your shoulder is a labor and time-intensive action. We don’t have time for that type of thoughtful introspection. Not now. Mars will spur you on to higher highs, and if you’re not watching where you’re going, you’ll also discover lower lows. This week, this week only, life is about forward movement. Ever watch Shark Week? Actually, I never have, but anyway, sharks always move or die. Think like a shark this week. Always moving forward. Mars inspired.

Cancer: The comment that I’ve used often enough to make it a cliche? “Oh look, bright, shiny object!” It’s a colloquial expression amongst my friends and clients, obviously refers to a “bright, shiny object.” A distraction. An image, a picture, something on a website, anything in passing, can be a person, a place, frequently marketing material or, what’s common for most of my male friends? A scantily clad female form. Or, even better, a female form that hints at scantily clad while revealing nothing. It’s the distraction factor. The way something else, other than where our attention ought to be, it’s the idea that something else catches our eye. Beguiles out attention. Jokes about ‘attention deficit hyperactivity disorder’ notwithstanding, it’s that “Oh, look at that” factor. The secret, this is largely due to a stack of planets in Libra, but the secret for dealing with this fleeting ADHD behavior? Focus. One client showed up with a couple of rubber bands on his wrist. “I just snap one to remind me to stay focused.” Why did he have a half-dozen? “Sometimes I forget.” So if one reminder is good, then a half-dozen is better, I guess, I’m wondering, is that what the message should be? Better idea, little yellow sticky-note. Just plain piece of paper, anything. Simple lettering, note to the Cancer self, “Stay focused.” Oh no, here it comes, “I couldn’t decide, the green sticky note paper, or the purple one, which one looks better?”

Leo: Mars is marching through the sign of The Leo. Mars imbues you with a certain sense of energy. Mars is energy. The problem is Mars energy can quickly (and easily) become misdirected. I will be hated before this horoscope is over. Because I bear no ill will towards Leo, that hatred will quickly pass, and The Leo will realize it wasn’t my fault. All I’m dong is calling this the way it is. You’re going to get that white-hot, Leo hatred towards a person, place or thing. Could be as simple as a jerk in line in front of you. You get snarky and start making those “side of your mouth” comments about the jerk in line in front of you, and how they have more than ten items in the basket. You make the comments and then, when you get to the checker, she looks down and says, “12-pack. That’s more than ten items. You’ll have to move to another line.” Before we go any further with this metaphor, stop. This wouldn’t be happening if you’d kept quiet. You’ll also realize, in this situation, this example, the problem isn’t the jerk in line in front of you, the problem is the checker. The cashier. She wouldn’t be a problem if you’d been quiet and waited patiently. Oh, that’s right, Mars, you can’t be patient. No leaping to conclusions about the first source of Leo ire. Might not be the real problem. Mars and martian energy is the issue. Use it for good, not for ill.

Virgo: This weeks starts, for you, as Mars (in Leo) squares Jupiter (in Taurus), and that Taurus is an Earth Sign, like (gentle) Virgo. What this amounts to, there’s going to be, at the beginning of this horoscope, a tension that flies around the, a tension that encircles, a tension that seems to encompass, a tension that doesn’t really belong in Virgo, but seems to inhabit nearby atmospheres. As a good Virgo, and since you’re reading this, you’re the best of the Virgo types, I’d strongly encourage you to figure out that the tension is not yours. It’s around. Especially at the beginning, but the material seems to carry forward. It’s close at hand, dude, I’m pointing to you, one of my good Virgo buddies, and it’s not you. Close. Like the wife, the girlfriends, the boyfriends, the fishing buddy, something, someone, but not you. The bigger problem, as the week gets longer, and the moon gets fuller, the bigger problem is to not accept other peoples’ burdens. Not this week. Their problems are their problems. You’ve got enough going on with your own, Virgo brian, you don’t need any extra help.