Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.29.2011

“Be sure of it; give me the ocular proof.”
Shakespeare’s Othello [III.iii.357]

The year ahead — 1/21/2012: The Sun moves into Aquarius and shortly thereafter, 1/24, Mars goes into apparent retrograde motion, in Virgo. Mars starts backwards at 23 Virgo and slides down to 3 Virgo, turning around Friday the 13th, 4/13/2012.

Mercury goes Retrograde 3/12 through 4/3 (Aries -> Pisces), 7/15 through 8/7 (Leo), 11/6 through 11/25 (Sagittarius -> Scorpio)

Venus RX 5/15 through 6/26 in Gemini. Covers most of the middle of Gemini.

The thematic elements most obvious is the fire signs and the Mercury Retrograde periods. Not bad, as I’ve stated before, but a chance to review. Between Mars and Venus, the elements are mutable. Means it’s time to rethink a position we’ve held. Doesn’t mean it’s over, but it does mean that the beginning of the end has started.

Saturn gets to the last degree of Libra in February of 2012, then starts a backwards slide through almost the last third of that sign, turning around 6/24 and moving into Scorpio, for the duration, on 10/6.

Neptune moves into its home sign of Pisces 2/4; never varies from a point that’s just barely a degree into Pisces, but who cares?

Quick note about 2012: history is full of (stupid) people who refuse to remember history. Harmonic Convergence, 1987? Pluto into Sagittarius, 1994? Y2K? So is this really the end? Capricorn: “Some people learn by doing, some people learn by watching and some people just have to pee on the electric fence,” (attributed to the great Scorpio from Oklahoma, Will Rogers.) The week begins, right before the new year holiday, the year ends with a loud crash as something fails. Epic fail. When some things go bad, they go real bad with a huge fanfare. Noise and smoke, ruin and despair. That being noted? After the New Years’ Eve debacle? Once that’s passed us, life in Capricorn land starts to smooth out and sail along smoothly. Happy Birthday! I suppose, if I were a gambling man, then I’d take a chance on not going out NYE, only to wait until the amateurs are off the streets and parked in front of football games. I’d wait until then. That’s the break.

Aquarius: Old school, old ways, they die hard, don’t they? Some habits are just much more difficult to give up? Anyway, this isn’t about what you should be doing without, no, not as long as Venus is where she is. In your sign. This isn’t about abstinence, this is about feeling good. Venus wants you to feel wonderful!

Still there’s a hook that’s stuck in the past. There’s a single element that keep trying to dredge up an echo from years gone by. The past. Something distant. As we March forward into the new year, the new life, the beginning of a new era, what with the growing consciousness and all? AS we start out, as the Aquarius, you’ve got to look back and at least recognize that element that has its hooks in the past. Or the past that has its hooks into you. Certain old ways, old habit, they are hard to give up. Pisces: I’ve made and broken so many new years’ resolutions that I resolved to never make any more stupid promises that I had no hope of ever keeping. “I’ll work out every day this year,” or I’ll eat only nuts and fruits, healthy stuff, all year-long.” I’m sure you’ve had your own examples of stupid resolutions, like “I’ll never, ever drink again.” Or, “I’ll stop dating rock stars.” The list goes on. Before we get to the new year’s day resolution stuff, I’d like interject that Mars will oppose you most near half this year. Means the ideas will be time-tested, again and again. Means that you’ll revisit whatever you propose as a resolution. Means think twice, now, before you make a promise that you won’t, or can’t, keep. Simple. A year is a long time, Even half that, with Mars flipping and frying? Think twice. Aries: There’s a certain willingness needed to surmount the adversaries of this coming year. There’s a certain kind of Aries quality really required. Not exactly stubborn, no, that’s not quite what I was looking for. Still, there’s certain kind of ability to keep going when other, lesser signs would falter, fail, and fall by the wayside. The simple message is “Don’t give up.” Don’t give in, don’t capitulate, don’t surrender. Don’t give up the fight. Don’t stop believing in the miracle that will occur. That I am sure of. When? This new year. Sometime in 2012. Exactly when? A, yeah, ah, hmm. Soon. How soon? I can’t say, not for sure, or I’m not willing to say. However, I do know that you’re going to win one big one in this coming year. A single fight that matters. Matters a lot. Up to you to keep this struggle going. Perhaps, as this holiday and new year rolls out? Perhaps this is a time to figure out which fight is the most important one to you. As the Aries you are, which struggle is worth the effort?

Taurus: I adore the effect of Jupiter on the particular sign. We’ve got a few months left with this going on. What’s even more fun, as a Taurus, can you, are you willing, think about it, anyway, there’s a chance to pounce on some other soul’s poor misfortune. Not really ride into the rescue, no, not exactly what I was thinking about, but that’s an image, too. There’s a chance, as Jupiter begins to move off a stationary position, and this planet’s movement couldn’t come at a better time, as this is the time for you to start rolling forward. There’s going to be a two, three, five, maybe seven steps forward, as we get though the holiday weekend. On into next week. You get a running start at the new year. You get a chance to capitalize on some other’s misfortune. Sad, in a way, but a good shot for Taurus. I’d take it. The other part of this, is that, as the weeks and months begin to unfold, the rest of this year? There’s a step back. Two steps forward, one step back. What it feels like. Bad? No. Less than a forward, headlong rush? Yes, therein is the problem. Like the fishing show I was on, three 12-hour days on the water for seven minutes of “fishing action.”

Gemini: Two-Meat Tuesday was a long-time favorite of mine. The idea came from a Tuesday special at an archetypical Austin BBQ place. Never realized just how good the BBQ was until I was subjected to lesser examples. The original premise was two topics on Tuesday, usually prompted by an article online or in the paper, or whatever crossed my purview at the time. Two topics. Sometimes related, sometimes not. Good Gemini title, too, Two-Meat Tuesday. You’re reading this so I’ll guess you have free access to the online version of the book. If not, check the section for a copy. This isn’t about a book of mine, though, it’s about the title of that book and the title’s original source, two topics, two menu items, two subjects that may or may not be related. Two. As the sign of the Twins, and certainly the most mutable of the Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius), you’re quite used to the concept of “two.” As this week unfolds, as we get a start on the new year, you’re interested in the “Two” idea.

Two menu items. May be related. May not be related. I’m not sure. However, from what I know of planets and Gemini? The items are related in your mind, although, the rest of us? We don’t always see it.

Cancer: As an environmentalist, I much favor the current trend of “Print-On-Demand,” and its technology. Order a book, then the book is printed, and shipped. No excess. No stock, no carting around cases and cartons of unsold books. The problem is price. The print-on-demand technology is wonderful, but not exactly cheap. Less waste, though. There is that. No remaindered stacks with the covers ripped off. I did a calendar one year with my favorite picture from the previous year. Instead of trying to sell it, though, I just gave it way to family and friends. Family. Immediate family. Three copies, all I wanted. So the technology isn’t all bad, it has good uses. That calendar, at least one, was sliced up and the pictures matted. Good use of material, recycle, reuse, re-invent. As a Cancer, Moon-Child influenced personality, there’s an idea hat you’ve been working on. I’d suggest you print up, like, in the first week of 2012, print up a single copy of that idea. Images, digital print, book, story, something. I can make a recommendation or two about print-on-demand services. The idea is to get one in print, to see what it looks like. We’ll come back revisit the project over and over this year, but get one done this next week.

Leo: “Party’s over, time to go home!” Okay, so most of my extra-fine Leo friends, most of you guys don’t want the party to be over, and you’re not interested in winding down the celebrations. It’s just, okay, let me start over. Money won’t buy love, “But it will rent it for a little while,” as I get reminded, over and over. This is about getting ready for the oncoming year. This is about getting a few details out of the way so that the good stuff can happen.

For one buddy? Let me spell it out. It’s about making a lap for a dancer to land in. The party is over, before we even get to midnight on New Year’s Eve. That’s the downside of this, but getting a few details in order, and more important, getting your majestic Leo brain wrapped around the idea that it’s time to get organized for the new year. Making money in the new year. Attention to your house. Before the party ever gets started, I’d start shooing people out, and I’d start turning your Leo attention to getting rich. Get rich fast. Soon. New year. Jupiter turns around and gets up a brilliant head of steam all but guarantees some success.

Virgo: In London’s Westminster Abbey, Royal Wedding, etc.? Anyway, in the Abbey, Cromwell is buried. He’s buried in a section that was later dedicated to the brave pilots of the RAF, the brilliant lads who saved England in her darkest hour, during the Blitz. An American tourist, I can’t make this up, Cromwell, England, Reformation, Interregnum, Civil War, etc.? An American tourist looked at the lay person guide in the Abbey, and asked, “So what did Cromwell fly?” 1660?

History is full of people who make egregious errors. Perhaps having a degree in English makes it a little more important and I know a few, thin shards of English History better than some. Although, in this modern age, I would think that more inter-web authors would be aware of Samuel Pepys. Never mind. There’s about a three hundred year gap between the RAF and Cromwell. Before you make a stupid comment like that, before you follow in my footsteps and make such an observation, before you chew on your feet like I do so often? Stop. Mars makes you hasty. Sometimes, this is good. Sometimes haste is all right. Other times, like now? Maybe not so much. Pause. Think about it. Consider that silly question before you ask.

Libra: Casting our Libra eyes back over the last 12 months, last 11 months, looking backwards for just a moment? Been one heck of a ride, now hasn’t it? Like to leave some of that behind us, too? Feels like you’ve been stuck in one place a little too long? I can’t change much of that. What I can offer is hope. Halfway through Libra, this next year (2012) Saturn exeunt. I use the Latin phrase since it’s common stage direction in Shakespeare texts. I’d like to think that the grand exit of Saturn, October 6, 2012, I’d like to think it’s the big deal. Life is better. The real issue, look at what a mess it is right now, the real issue isn’t about then, or about where we’ve been, it’s about what is in front of you, even now, and what is important. This is about structure and priorities. Look at the list. Maybe sketch a few of the option out on paper. Maybe make note, in pencil, of what needs to get accomplished. Plans, steps, goals. No, I think that should be goals are first, then plans, then, what steps are necessary to enact the plans to make the goals happen.

Scorpio: I was thinking about Scorpio and how a Scorpio would love to subvert an authority figure. Sometimes, my little Scorpio friends do this because it’s mean. Sometimes, the motivation is more pure, but the idea I get is that there has to be a way around it. A way that the Scorpio can bend the will of others to the Scorpio way of seeing the issue. Item. Thing. The Scorpio Way. That should be trademarked, The Scorpio Way. Right. Bending rules and worse, trying to subvert some other authority figure will go horribly wrong. I’m not saying that The Scorpio Way is bad, I’m just suggesting we stop and consider a different approach. The first half of this year will give you a chance to think about a new approach. The second half, or the last third or the last few months, like the Scorpio birthday time? You’ll want to look back and assume that I was correct, you needed to give in to the authority figure. “There’s a reason it is done in that order,” and we can make this easy — or difficult — depends on your attitude towards their rules.

Sagittarius: I’m hoping you will refer to this horoscope, over the course of the next year. I’m hoping that it will eventually make more sense. Or make some kind of sense. As I looked at the Mercury patterns, seeing some fire in there, and as I watched that Mars Retrograde pattern unfold in Virgo, it triggered an idea. The perfect metaphor?

I’ve spent a portion of my life in the neighboring state of New Mexico. Like Old Mexico, only the water is better. From location to location, the question is “Red or Green?” Means Red or Green chile sauce with the meal. I prefer ‘Xmas,’ which is both. What I’ve learned, though, is that the color doesn’t always have to do with the heat. Sometimes, a green sauce is milder. Or sometimes, it’s the red sauce. Varies from kitchen to kitchen. The color of the sauce has little to do with whether the sauce itself is hotter. When I say, “hotter,” of course I mean with inherent Scofield Units. I like hotter. Burning is good. As the first part of this year unfolds, the most important message is that the color has little to do with the inherent punch a particular pepper can pack. Really, look at it some time, the smaller the pepper, the hotter it usually is.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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  • Sarah Smith Dec 30, 2011 @ 13:39

    There are more things on heaven and earth (and in your enchilada) than are dreamt of in your philosophy (or sauce), Horatio (Kramer).

  • Stacey Baker Dec 30, 2011 @ 22:19

    innuendo much? sheesh.

  • William Parker Dec 31, 2011 @ 16:05

    Cromwell was a wicked A-hole to us Irish folk. he was eventually hung in chains after he died if I am not mistaken, and his head has showed up up in a number of places according to legend. Maybe doomed to wander the earth forever but I doubt he flew a Spitfire or a Hurricane!

  • kramerw Jan 2, 2012 @ 18:38

    Yes, and from my experience, the Irish are not to be trifled with… but that’s another story.