Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 1.12.2012

“Madness in great ones must not unwatched go.”
Shakespeare’s Hamlet [III.i.191] Capricorn: What does “My Little Deuce Coup” have to do with Xmas? The inspiration, my idea, obviously, this is a pre-Xmas date, and I was stuck, trying to figure out, in and amongst the Xmas carols, the red velvet, white fur trim, the trees with dust destined to resemble snow, all of that, I was desperately trying to draw the connection between the Beach Boys and Santa Claus. Nothing. I got nothing. Four on the floor, versus a loaded sleigh? While I found the classic tune a very welcome reprieve from the insidious and overwhelmingly cloying Xmas music that gets piped in, still I could fathom no connection what-so-ever. None. I’ll admit it’s music from an era before me, and I’ll admit, I never really got the beach/surfer sounds thing, not totally. But that doesn’t stop the music. Didn’t stop the carols, either. We can spend time, Capricorn and astrologer, worrying about the connection between that one song and the season. Better yet, unlike me, don’t get hung up on the side-issue. A past issue. Something that’s done and gone. Let the Xmas ‘faux pas’ be. Don’t do like me and spend too much time looking back. What was the connection? I still haven’t got a clue. Aquarius: “Be yourself — South Padre Island.” It’s an evocative ad. Campaign ran as a series of billboards, various images, usually beach-like, and usually, none too prurient. In the middle of the winter, it’s even more inviting. The Texas Gulf Coast, my favorite, the Devil’s Elbow, the Coastal Bend — it’s warm and inviting. Mostly.

Have snow about once every quarter of century or so. Home to many “Winter Texans,” and several kinds of endangered bird species. I prefer the fishing. That’s why the ad campaign tickled me. As Venus moves into a conjunction with Neptune, then moves out of Aquarius and into Pisces, there’s a very Aquarius comment that I’d like to suggest. Try it. “Be myself? Why would I want to be anyone else?” There’s a moment of illusion, a day of smoke and mirrors, a time when reality might appear to be a fleeting. It’s not. Either the Neptune/Venus thing will confuse you, or, more likely, it will confuse someone else about you. That’s what we should watch for. Either you’re confused, bewildered, or, let’s hope, it’s someone else who is bewildered and confused. Like the ad suggests, “Be yourself.”

Pisces: Venus enters Pisces. This is a precursor, sort of trial run, a snapshot of what is on the Pisces horizon. Horizons. Event horizon for Pisces. This is a sneak peek. Now, before you get too excited, worried or upset? Before you get all giggly with anticipation? Let us pause. Choose a path you like. Choose a destination that you want. Pick a place to be. Make a conscious decision to orient yourself, that Pisces self, point yourself in the direction you want to go.

Make it happen. See yourself there. I can give you some blathering jibber-jabber about wish fulfillment, goals and making it so, but the simple idea, the easiest grasp of this week’s energies, the simplest way to go about this? Turn around and point yourself in the direction you want to go. It’s the Venus/Neptune trigger point then it’s the Venus entering in your sign. There’s actually a tiny bit of Capricorn influence I’d look at as well, but for the sake of keeping the signal clear and simple? Point yourself in the direction you want to go.

Aries: Pralines are an accepted part of my life. For my whole life, every TexMex place, Mexican Restaurant and similar venues, they all have always offered a variety of chewy, creamy, nutty, sugary-sweet confections of the “Praline“ family. I, of course, assumed that the traditional TexMex treat was indigenous. Turns out that the original source is a European import. The history is little scant, evidence isn’t really up to my standards, but I’d guess the original was from Belgium, made its way to French Louisiana, and from there, Pecans were substituted for almonds, cream was added, and the various concoctions drifted south.

European then Southern, and finally, Mexican. Opposite of the way I would think of it. This is about your perceptions as opposed to historical record. Facts as opposed to fictions. More than one Aries will kindly point out that I play fast and lose with “facts,” and I never claimed to be an accurate source of material, so you’re welcome to check it out for yourself. Did pralines come from Europe, or were they an indigenous food, possible 5,000 years old or more? The easy answer is the clear European antecedent. Can’t take my word for any more than face value, though. All facts are subject to research and revisions, right?

Taurus: I was in line, behind a (large) lady who was buying lotto tickets. Had a handful of numbers she wanted played. “Every won anything?” “Yeah, won $85,000. Why I buy at this gas station. Didn’t tell the kids though.” I got a bottle of water and then, after hearing her tale, I got lotto ticket, too. Will it win? I’m not Taurus. I’m not an April Taurus. I’m predicting an April Taurus, or some Taurus, will win. Win big. This weekend, probably. I can’t say for sure, but it looks good. Looks promising. Looks like you want to position yourself in such a way as to win big. Think about winning big, all depends on what one uses as a barometer to gauge “big win.” To me, that $85K, that’s a big win. To her, apparently not. Didn’t even tell the kids. I won $200 on a slot machine, and I thought that was big. Again, what’s big? That varies. I am predicting a big win. Won’t be without some effort on your part, the Taurus. You have to buy that lotto ticket. Me? I took it as a sign I was supposed to waste a dollar on a lotto ticket because the lady in front of me talked about her big win. Depends on how you want to play, but do something, this week, now, even, to position yourself for that big win.

Gemini: This image will piss off at least one Gemini. Sorry about that, I just report what I’ve observed. I was coming in from a long day at the beach, fishing. I stopped in a convenience store, Texas Gulf Coast, winter time, Texas Gulf Coast winter, and I was cruising the aisle. I was hoping for some coffee beans of some kind. All they had was instant. I can do a little better than that. So much for convenience. I grabbed another item or two, and headed to the counter. I watched through the glass door as a barefoot surfer dude looked at the front of the door then tried to shrug his wetsuit top back on. Easy when wet, hard when cold and dry. The point he was surfing, I knew it well. Here’s the weird part, blonde, barefoot surfer with that dazed surfer look, truck with a couple of long boards, again, not odd, but the tattoo on his chest, before he walked into the store? It was an outline of the Confederate Flag. Stars and Bars. The South will rise again. There’s a standard among outlaw, rebellious types in the South, the Stars and Bars are considered a formal rallying point. This isn’t a debate about that. No, this isn’t a debate about the meaning, inferred, implied, or explicit in the tattoo over that surfer boy’s heart. This is about items that might not really belong together. Surfer boy and Rebel Flag. Blonde, barefoot, wet-suited, typical surfer, dude. Items that don’t seem to fit together? Way it goes. Observe, report back but don’t engage.

Cancer: It’s from Hamlet, “Madness in great ones must not unwatched go–” Shakespeare’s Hamlet [III.i.191] I selected that because of the relative insanity that seems to be present. Maybe not everyone notices it. I’m sure, looking at your chart? Yeah, I’m way sure you’re feeling it. Poor, little Cancer-person. The Moon Child. What a fickle beast, that lunar phase is, now isn’t it? Toying with your emotions, and I know, shut up and get to the point. Mercury-Pluto-Sun, or Sun-Mercury-Pluto, all opposite you. Uranus at the beginning of Aries (Jupiter is also at a starting point of Taurus) and Saturn is at the end of Libra. It’s pressure to reveal a secret. A Deep, dark, personal Cancer secret. Here’s my idea: don’t. There was a website that allowed for anonymous postings of secrets, sort of a digital, web-hippy confessional. The problem facing that place, after a particular trade secret was leaked, there was an issue with lawyers and cops and the feds got involved, and then it got ugly. Turns out it was just a kid running the website, too. Here’s how to avoid this kind of problem, best advice yet: don’t. Don’t reveal the secret. Don’t do the crime? Don’t do the time. Much ugliness can be avoided.

Leo: Food. One word, single way to look at the next few days? Food. Food for thought. Food for the soul. Comfort food, even. One, two, three options that I can think of, right off the top of my head. Three possibilities. There is, it turns out, a place where comfort food meets healthy food. I was looking for a healthy snack, something that would be acceptable as an afternoon (something) to munch on. Almonds. First, it was salted almonds, again, too much with the sodium chloride (salt) without the exercise, maybe not so good. Then it was unsalted. Then it was lime and pepper smoked almonds. That last one, it was tasty, enough zip to make me happy, and still, low on the bad stuff, high on the good stuff. I’m not saying you have to rush right out and get some, that’s SO not the message. The idea is that you look for something that fits your own idea of tasty. Each and every Leo is different when it comes to flavors. Some like Vanilla. Some like chocolate. Some like cookie dough. There is a food of the correct type to feed the Leo. Operative word? Food.

Virgo: Customer service is a big issue these days. Hot-button item. The growing awareness of the consumer, and then the flip-side of the equation, the other part of the puzzle, there are times when the customer clearly isn’t right. “The customer is always right,” can kiss my lily white ass. I’ve been on both sides, egregiously wronged, and as the merchant, watching, listening, patiently abiding while the customer rants and raves about perceived slights. An unjustified wrong, I might add. Well-thought, properly-worded complaints can gain traction. The correct complaint, or a verifiable and justifiable error can be corrected. Around here? If I’m sitting on the computer at the time? I can fix something in a minute. If I’m fishing? Might take longer, like, soon as I can gain inter-web access. Maybe a day. If the cause is right. It’s about what’s justified and what’s not. Sterling examples of excellence in customer service abound. However, for every ten good deeds, there is one tale of horror, and frequently, those tales, apocryphal or not, tend to outweigh the good deeds. It’s about customer service, and how you handle the complaint. I’ll be honest, yelling at me? Not liable to get an answer at all. How does this play out? As a Virgo, you might be in the Customer Service position. Getting yelled at. Guess what? You have the ability to deny the customer’s claim. However, for a select few, you will be making a claim. How you go about making that claim, how you choose to resolve the issue? That can have a large impact on the outcome. Think before you yell and rant.

Libra: Drought stricken South Texas is currently a barren wasteland. Looks horrible. The desiccated vegetation is gnarled and brown. It’s the middle of the winter. Rain is sparse while clouds bearing moisture away from the Gulf and into the mainlands, the southern extreme seems to be bereft of rain. How it feels in Libra, too. How it looks, this next week or so, as well, no hope, barren wastes, brown and burnt. Here’s what will happen in South Texas: by late next month, by late February, the first of the spring rains will unleash the first of the Spring’s bounty of wildflowers. Ask me to wax poetic about the beauty of Bluebonnets, one verge in Austin was resplendent, getting more and more blue as the spring wore on. That was Central Texas. The bluebonnets are miles away. While I’m asking for a few short weeks, for some serious signs of respite, to a beleaguered Libra? That’s, like, forever. The cardinal placement of planets, recited elsewhere (Capricorn) is the clue as to why there is relief, and like my native Bluebonnets, we’re going to see relief soon.

Scorpio: I was listening, to a play list, just background noise, really, and one of the songs from my Xmas playlist popped up. Bad. Wrong. Just wrong to have Xmas music after the first, and worse, I thought I removed all the Christmas crap by now. Hadn’t, apparently. I stopped everything. I was working, dug through the play list, then found the iPod’s list, and I had to dig, but there were a total of three songs left on there that I hadn’t removed.

Next July, when the big retail chains start the Xmas push? Don’t say I didn’t warn you already. The cause of this week’s ire is a little something left over from the last big holiday season. In my example, it wasn’t really a big deal, it’s just that the Xmas songs themselves, after the holiday is over, those songs grate on my nerves. So in our post-Xmas season, in Scorpio, in this week, there will be a single, or in my example, three, items that no longer figure in your world view. Put them away. Dispose of properly.

Sagittarius: Wal-Mart is surely the wrong place to shop for snacks. I wound up with a bag, I was in the check-out line with a spool of some fishing line, some local fresh fruit, coffee beans, and another long-sleeve t-shirt. I noticed a primarily Spanish package of food. Chips with hot flames worked into the logo. More appropriately, it was “Corn Masa Chips with lime and pepper.” I didn’t read the ingredients too closely because I didn’t dare. I know there was a huge amount of salt, lemon-lime flavor, and fiery pepper, probably a cayenne-capsicum family pepper product.

The good news, for me, the snacks were hot. Tasty, zesty, really had some kick for an over-the-counter pepper product, and probably had about a tablespoon of salt in each chip. Probably not good for me. What to pay attention to. My culinary and comestible delights are varied with my strange choices, and occasionally, I fall prey to the marketing hype. I was hungry, it looked good, and I grabbed a cheap bag of snacks.

It was hot, it was peppery, and it was salty. The salt was the problem. Part of what made it a good snack food, but as a dietary consideration probably not so good. Weigh one against the other. As an occasional snack food, it’s good. As a primary dietary supplement, maybe not so much. What is snack food, what is some nutrients you need, and what is more important? I’d suggest, just a Sagittarius suggestion, we forgo the Wal-Mart snacks. This week.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, and there might be, maybe, a material connection between the hot links and this site (sometimes).

© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for &c.

  • Sarah Smith Jan 15, 2012 @ 11:26

    Kramer, sometimes I’d swear you’re peeking over my shoulder. Tried the hot snacks, but finally overcome by salt overload. Saved the rest and shredded them into a bland soup I’d made. Perfect! The trick is balance and moderation (concepts foreign to me).