Horoscopes by Fishing Guide to the Stars 3.1.2012

“When all aloud the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson’s saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian’s nose looks red and raw.”
Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost [V.ii.880]

Cedar season in Central Texas should be over by now. Texas Independence Day.

Available now: the astrofish.net/marsminute/
Pisces: One of my little friends has the perfect sore throat, coughing, wheezing, Cedar Fever cure — honey, apple vinegar and hot water. She calls it a hot toddy, but I think it needs rum or something to properly be called that. It is a good solution to the local version of allergy problems, the mild sore throat. There is a problem with this homeopathic “cure,” after a couple of tea cups of apple cider vinegar mixed with honey and hot water? I start to smell like a salad dressing. The honey is antiseptic, soothes my throat. The vinegar does something, I’m not sure what. The problem is that I smell like a salad. It’s not that I’m not close to a fruit salad, not as it is, but the additional cure, much as I like it? Makes me suspect. However, as a cure for the scratchy throat symptoms, it works well. As the birthdays get going in Pisces, as this new month of March starts off with a whisper, as we get under way? Think about the homeopathic, old folk remedies, like other’s I’ve offered up. This isn’t my first time to suggest a cure like this, but sometimes, the old ways work as well as the new stuff.

Aries: There’s a single scene from a book that I recall vividly. The texture of the image, the detail evoked, the character’s mind, all of that, striking in my own recall. I still have the book, on a bookshelf, in my library. Or rather, I still have several books. I’m not sure which one it was in, that scene. I don’t recall much about the plot, or the character, but I do recall that penultimate scene, an expression of freedom and release, not just symbolically drawn out, but in the character’s life, as well.

I’ve looked and dug through the various texts, unable to locate that scene. Been, like, twenty years or more since I’ve read that. Still tote the books around with me from location to location, still hoping that I’ll have a real library one day. Hoping I’ll get to reread that scene in its entirety — in context — again. There’s a sense of freedom and release from that single passage, the way I read it. The way I read your stars, there’s a single passage, evocative of freedom and release, happening now, within Aries. Might never be able to locate this opportunity again. You know what to do.

Taurus: Lao Tsu’s “Tao Te Ching” (#38) reminds us that, “ritual is husk and faith is the start of confusion.” My understanding, as incomplete as it is, I’ve been led to believe that the meaning of that passage, in context, or even out of context, it’s about blind devotion. That can be a faith, belief, or worship. It can also be blindly, with no intellectual inquisition into the matter, devotedly following just one way, one path, one set of beliefs with no investigation. I tend to be open to a number of religions, picking and choosing as I see fit. Makes it a lot easier when bad things occur. I can always blame the odd gods, making my life easier. Or rather, I can blame the planets. There are no planets to blame, not now. Not in Taurus. The biggest problem, it’s not really even a problem, the challenge, is to not get into one belief that, “It had to be this way.” It doesn’t. Look. There are more ways to get from here to there. Jupiter affords you luxury. Not everyone has a such a luxury of choice.

Gemini: Lao Tsu’s “Tao Te Ching” (#33) reminds us that, “He who knows he has enough is rich.” Looks like I’m on a bit of Eastern Mystic kick, but that’s the way it goes. I’d like to point out that the point of that epigram is make sure that you, as a Gemini make sure you know that you have enough. The consumer culture of the West is counter-intuitive towards that kind of epic koan. When is enough enough? When is too much, not enough? Or, better yet can’t you just be happy with what you’ve got? There are tremendous forces at work, some are bent on unsettling your usually good nature. How much are you going to let that get to you? How much does it matter? I keep a copy of the Tao around as it’s handy reference point.

Cancer: There’s a cartoon series, kind of dry humor. We could all use a little dry humor. This one strip features a series of frames and the only change between each frame is the dialogue in the word bubbles. One version just shows the same image of a guy, four frames, either in a row or a square, but there’s a series of speaking points and therein is the humor. Dry, slightly off-beat, and perhaps a bit on the odd side. Not unlike me. The dry, weird, off-beat, perhaps strange, and that sometimes, “I don’t get it” type of humor is what is required. Cancer, the Moon Children, one and all, we need some humor. The problem is our humor is currently offset by what everyone else sees as funny. Look at the headlines. Screaming, “The world is on fire, it’s the end times!” Yawn. World on fire, drought and problems, reminds me, need to pick a good day for BBQ. There are two answers, tell if you’re in the right frame of mind. “That’s SO not funny!” That is a sure indicator that you need to adjust the Cancer mind, prayer, meditation, medication, one, or all? Doesn’t matter. “That hilarious!” Then I think you need to adjust your medication. Back to the dry humor, the same image, four times over. The only part that changes is the dialogue. Write some new lines, as this week goes by.

Leo: Not all my fishing buddies are gear heads. However, there is this one, and it’s all about equipment. If the fish aren’t biting, then he’s using the wrong rod and reel, wrong fancy new lure, wrong something. Hardware, all about the hardware. Me? I’ve been known to fish with just one pole, and switch bait, only as needed, hook, line, sinker. I’ve been known to eschew all the complicated choices in favor of making it all simple and easy. Skill and technique can make up for some hardware choices, but these days, my preferred pole is a simple, three-piece saltwater/inshore rod that’s good for finesse bass fishing as well as finicky (coastal) trout, and just about everything else, in between. It’s the opposite of my buddy who is all about the hardware. Same fishing trip he was armed with six different poles, three bait casters, three spinning rods, and I showed up with one. I watched as he switched out poles, lures, hook sizes, leaders, all manner of gear. While he was changing his attack plan every thirty seconds, I was lobbing dead shrimp into the water and having fun catching under-sized Reds. What more fun? Playing with the gear, or playing with the fish?

Virgo: It’s successfully been argued that Shakespeare wrote some strong female characters. No doubt about that. Which one is the strongest, most memorable? Lady MacBeth in all her angst and agony? Hamlet’s mom? Beatrice in Much Ado? Perhaps the most famous is Shakespeare’s Cleopatra. When she’s done well on stage, it’s easy to see that none of the men in her life can fathom her essence. Want her but don’t understand her. No jokes about wives and girlfriends, either. However, it still gets back to the question, which female character, out of Shakespeare’s cast collection, which one is the strongest? Most memorable? If you’re a guy, which one would you want to date? (About half of you.) Then, if you’re a girl, which one would you want to be? Valid questions as Mars creep backwards at a midway point in the Virgo chart. The readership on the site is pretty evenly split between male and female, adjust as you like for the ‘want to date’ or ‘want to be’ question. The reason for the question, as Mars is back his way across your sky? Time to imitate a favorite character. Perhaps there’s a star you would like to be. Rehearse those lines, see yourself in that role. In my own version, as an example, I’d like to be Benedick to Beatrice in that aforementioned Much Ado. That’s me. What’s yours?

Libra: There are two or three different elements that I’m considering, like Pluto (Capricorn), Full Moon (Pisces/Virgo), Uranus (Aries), or most important, Saturn (Libra) and Venus (Aries) as those two hit a direct opposition, coming up Friday.

Boom! The powder keg that you’ve been sitting on, the explosive situation that abused your good Libra nature could very well snap. This weekend.

Boom, as previously alluded to. As fast as that explosion occurs, though, and before the ripples of the concussion waves have even washed over the surrounding (Libra) countryside, there’s Venus, in Taurus, making nice, and headed towards an even nicer arrangement with Jupiter (Taurus). There will be an explosive situation. How you deal with it? That’s up to you, but I’m suggesting to temper the temper as the rage might not be justified. Well, it is justified, at the time, it’s just, later? Not so much.

Scorpio: I introduced one of my lecture series by suggesting that I might not have on any pants. Strictly speaking, I might not have been wearing pants. Shorts, this is South Texas, and I’ve been in shorts for a few weeks, off and on. This isn’t about weather, it’s about an introduction. While I thought it was funny, the “rushes” weren’t approved by the test market (not like there’s a big test market, imagine a trailer park with family and friends). Wrong message. Back to edit, back to work. The idea was the shake up the introduction. The problem was I tried too hard. I’m not one to shy away from revealing an embarrassing blunder, gaff, and leaving myself open for ridicule. I’m also not a Scorpio. That’s the subtle distinction in this example. Me. I’m not Scorpio. I can easily look like a fool. You? You are Scorpio. Don’t do it. There’s a good chance that you have one of those comments, a snicker that I would think was hilarious. A few words out of the side of the Scorpio mouth, yeah, I’d find it funny, ironic and even telling. I’m not your audience. Maybe keep it between just you and me.

Sagittarius: The biggest challenge with online communications is that subtle nuances are lost. What surprised me was another Sagittarius Astrologer missed a point. An obvious point. A funny, slightly twisted, but still obvious point. Completely misread a situation. Took it the wrong way and that escalated into a bigger and bigger issue with cascading effects and suddenly, there was a big furor and uproar. Over nothing. Not a big deal, at all. The amount of rancor was quite disproportionate to the perceived sleight. They all got up and in your face, up in arms, up and out, with some fairly dramatic rolling of the eyes and wailing, gnashing of teeth. Sagittarius brethren.

Sagittarius: Stop. Just take a pause for the cause. Stop. Is the amount of ire proportionate to the problem? Stop. Think about it. I know you’re mad, but that’s Mr. Mars, in Virgo, causing the irritation. Sure you need to do this?

Capricorn: “This skirt is too short.” Not really. “Yes, really, isn’t it too short?” Not if you ask me. Skirt was definitely not too short. Short? Yes. Too short? No. Nether regions were not exposed. In the past, I’ve probably owned short shorts that were more revealing. Although, I doubt I looked that good in short shorts.

Wait, that’s not what this is about, it’s about perceptions and what works. Or, for that matter, what doesn’t work. Too short? I seriously doubt that the skirt is too short. I’ve seen miniskirts that are too short. One of my neighbors, she wears them a lot. I figure, if I can see the color of undergarments, then the short skirt is too short. Conversely, if I can’t see the underwear? Then it’s probably not too short. However, I wasn’t the one wearing the skirt. My perception versus the Capricorn opinion. Who wins? “Well. You would never think a skirt was too short. Look at that neighbor of yours….” Yes, I would think a skirt was too short. Like that aforementioned neighbor. However, as a Capricorn, stop and think, weigh both options.

The skirt was not too short.

Aquarius: Someone gave me a half-package of “Slimming Asian Tea.” It’s proven to be effective by adhering to the following guidelines. Have a nutritious breakfast with low glycemic index, at the break, have a cup of this tea, have a light lunch, salad and chicken, then in the afternoon, have a another cup of this tea. Have a final cup of tea for dinner. It’s not really good stuff. Just black tea. Nice packaging with appropriate guidelines and Chinese characters, I’ll guess they are Chinese characters, in truth, how much do we know?

I’m taking that at face value, they say, it claims, Asian Slimming Tea. Might be some sort of a curse, or worse. To me, it’s just black tea. Not very good black tea, more hype than flavor. Does it really work? Again, not much hope, not as far as I’m concerned. Looks like black tea, almost no flavor, and in me, it makes me hungry for cookies and doughnuts. Does that make it a fail? I’m not sure. But it’s clearly more hype and less product than anything else. Just some tea bags that would cost about two dollars in a seven-dollar package. As we course through Aquarius, what is marketing hyperbole, what is real, and what works if you follow the instructions, follow those instructions to the letter?

Available now: the astrofish.net/marsminute/