Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 8.2.2012

    “So thou, being rich in Will, add to thy Will
    One will of mine to thy large will more”
    Shakespeare’s Sonnet CXXXV 11-12 The Leo: Full Moon, Wednesday night, all day Thursday and by Friday? The effects of the full moon are over. Still kind of a lingering party atmosphere, but still.

I’d suggest, unless, this is very pointed, unless you’re fishing, I’d suggest it’s a good time to chill. “Lunatics” are people who are crazy when the moon is full; the root of madness being in that phase of the moon. Allegedly. It’s not, not really. The way I see it? Full Moon promises. You, as the mighty Leo, you made some Full Moon promises, and then, once the weekend properly arrives, you can’t, won’t, don’t seem to be able to, the promises you made? Doubt you’ll be in mood — or position — to fulfill them.

I’d suggest, from this point moving forward for the rest of the week? My simple suggestion is to, “Take that under advisement.” I’ll take that in consideration. I’d be careful about absolute promises, you know, it’s the phase of the moon. Right, go with that. Virgo: You and I agree, that in a perfect world, the people in charge would be Virgo.

Efficient, timely, clean. Everyone would know what they are supposed to do, and the Virgo would be there, with a little clipboard and check sheet, making sure it all got done. Just give the Virgo a clipboard and a checklist. Maybe a lab coat, but most important is the clipboard.

The checklist, I’m not so sure about the clipboard, but the checklist is an idea that has merit. Especially this next few days. Mercury is going to unlimber from a harsh retrograde pattern, that’s true. Still, there wil be one last, Mercury Retrograde inspired moment, one last idea that bubbles up from the land beneath the Virgo scalp, one piece of interesting material that’s in there…. What is it? I’m not sure, but even when Mercury is backwards there are inspirations. Grab that lab coat and clipboard, look official. Takes notes.

Libra: Buddy of mine has daughter. All the kid’s toys are in the living room. His daughter’s nickname now ends in “zilla,” a reference to the mythic creature of bad Japanese films, the thunder lizard, “Godzilla.” My buddy also has a CHL, Concealed Handgun License, not all that uncommon with my friends in Texas. “Some of her toys are haunted, would you look at that?”

From his story, certain toys switch themselves on in the middle of the night and start making racket. I could just see my buddy bursting in only wearing his underwear, and unloading a magazine full of ammo into the toy box. Amusing scenario, but not good for domestic tranquility on so many levels. There’s going to be a spooky little reminder that your Libra self might sometimes be afraid of the dark. The second part, I know it is always a good idea to empty the magazine then ask questions, but until we get over this? Maybe don’t pull that trigger.

Scorpio: I have a client, has a young son. Kid is 10, 12 years old. I’m not sure, I mean, I knew at one point but now? I have no clue. His point in development, though, was quite telling as his mom related a story about what happened one day, “He was playing swords with the other boys, and dashing around, stabbing things and people. But when one of the little girls at school tried to give him a birthday card? He froze up.” More insight into the male mind. Some of us, it never gets any better.

Are you going to react like pre-adolescent boy? When you’re playing, it’s all bravado, but when the crunch time comes, you freeze?

Sagittarius: I was with a fishing guide, coastal flats, middle of the summer. The boat gets anchored in five or ten feet of water, sometimes much less. I was pulling the anchor back up, a gentle swell rocked the boat, and I dropped the anchor on my toe. I almost danced out of the way, but not quite.

It was a glancing blow. I didn’t think much of it. Didn’t damage my toenail, none of that, “Toenail gets black and falls off” stuff. Yet there was tiny blood blister. I didn’t notice it for close to a week. I was working at my desk, and I saw the results of the damage. Typically a flats anchor isn’t more than a few pounds with some sharp prongs to dig into the soft sandy floor. When the accident occurred, the most damage was to my own pride rather than my toe. I halfway expected some long-term bruising or other damage to show up. Nothing. Mercury is frequently about failed expectations. Sometime, though that isn’t so bad.

Capricorn: I have no children, no offspring, planned, unplanned or otherwise. As such, I’ve never raised a child. I have a pet theory, has to do with moms, especially, and how they are less prone to the common cold. Bugs, whatever is passing through. I was laid quite low, rendered useless for almost a week because a summer cold. My girlfriend, at the time, not even the sniffles. I’m convinced that moms, she raised two kids by herself, I’m sure that moms have this doubled immune system.

There’s a strength and fortitude not found in the single male branch. I’ve never been around babies or little snot lockers. I have no immunity, never been exposed to that kind of common illness. Pet theory, no research, just casual Kramer observations.

Aquarius: Last month I was headed to the coast for a fishing trip. Booked a boat, guide, hotel. Called a buddy, he couldn’t make it. Called another, again, he couldn’t make it. I wasn’t worried, as I was going fishing. A few days before the rip, a buddy calls, wants to join, fine, I can take up to four at a time. So far, it’s me and my buddy. I get to the coast, phone chips, another buddy is down there with his boyfriend, while my buddy doesn’t care for fishing, his partner would love it. Soon enough, appointed day rolls around, there’s a full boat. Started with a couple of failures, and that turned into a full ride. Mercury is about spending time alone with one’s thoughts. However, suddenly, last minute, the boat fills up and it’s a party. Mercury is about spending time alone with one’s thoughts, and yet, somehow this party barge gets filled with other people.

Pisces: I overheard this isn a bookstore. I was wandering the aisles in search of something to ameliorate the effects of retrograde mercury on a gentle Pisces psyche, research for your benefits. I drifted closer to a young mom and her kiddo, well, I like young moms. What I overheard? “No, mommy isn’t buying you ‘Calvin and Hobbes,’ that’s too dark. Get some ‘Far side,’ instead.” I glanced up, noted that she said that with no apparent humor in her tone, and I backed off. Like, I meandered out of there with great haste, to the other side of the store. Think I went to a sporting goods store and looked at fishing gear. That shook me up. I always loved Calvin and Hobbes, first in the short time it was in the paper then the reprints, and the fact there’s never been a TV show, no mutated comics, nothing. Dark? Far Side is lighter in comparison? I understand a mom protecting her baby. Still, I — personally — was offended. Matter of tastes, I guess. Does it really matter? Yes and no, as Mercury starts to unwind.

Aries: I was listening to a meditation audio track. Several friends, myself included, have made ‘meditational music.’ Usually there’s a voice-over that includes messages about, “Breath in, breath out, release the negative…” Whatever. After listening to some of these tracks, various level of exposure, the auditory, I mean, some of these meditations matter, I wouldn’t listen to in the real world, but the audio tracks all seem to contain the same message.

I’ll save you the money. No need to buy an audio track. For my Aries (and Aries-flavored) friends? Breath. Breath in. Breath. Hold it. Stop. Hold your breath for a few seconds. Wait, wait for it, exhale. Out with the bad, in with the good. Imagine problems dissolving away. Breath. Hold it. Exhale. Breath in. Hold it. Imagine problems dissolving away. Exhale, out with the bad. It’s a cheap, new age trick borrowed from much older disciplines, that breathing thing. But it works. Remember to pause.

Taurus: I once wrote book about Mercury in Retrograde, called The Portable Mercury Retrograde. I was tired of the “Hide under a rock” mentality I perceived amongst my peers. Not worth arguing about, the book has been in circulation for almost three years now. Don’t see its popularity waning any time too soon. It’s a slim volume, and the advice is simple, “Get out from underneath your rock.” Can’t hide, and the worst of over with by this weekend.

The Full Moon just rocked the gentle Taurus boat with perhaps a little to much exuberance. Bursting with ideas, ready for the retrograde to be over and ready to move ahead. And I’m just saying, there’s one last pass, one last spike to the ball, one last barb, and I would be remiss if I didn’t warn you. There’s an obvious piece of bait. Don’t bite.

Gemini: “Dude, just ask Maria, you know, the curvy Latin gal?” I shrugged. “You know, the one,” the guy mimicked a figure-eight shape with his hands, “curves, brown hair, brown eyes, speaks Spanish?” I looked at him again. I tried to give him ‘that’ look, but I doubt it translated.

It’s the language and cultural barrier. He was trying to describe what ever other female in the building looked like, to me. Not the tourists, but the residents? Description fits, in varying degrees, but as a generality? Need I say more? I live in South Texas. This isn’t about ethnicity or appearance or even cultural bias.

It’s about what is abundantly clear to some people? It’s not clear to Gemini. Or, in this case, the guy was Gemini, but he was describing something that I should understand, but I had no clue or frame of reference. Sure, Mercury isn’t really backwards, or won’t be, but that doesn’t stop me from being clueless about the guy’s indicated target, “You know, Maria?

Cancer: Unleashed with the Full Moon, then followed by the fall out? It’s the “Charge ahead, throw caution to the wind” energy. Lovely stuff. Lots of cardinal kick to it, as well. Lovely, lovely Cancerian energies. Point: Mercury really isn’t undone from its Retrograde Pattern, and point two? Full Moon is over. Done with. The “throw all caution to the wind” feelings? Not such a good idea. Love the concept’s energy. Love the sense of abandon. Don’t love the results. Those cautions that someone, something, some situation? Those cautions that you’re being urged to abandon? “Throw all caution to the wind?” Don’t. Those warning signs are in place for a reason.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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