Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 10.17

"I have no words;

My voice is in my sword."

    Shakespeare's Scottish Play (V.viii.6-7)

Happens when Mercury goes into a retrograde pattern.

LibraLibra: Bizarre timing and weirdness abounds. It's like the Halloween Holiday arrives a week early, right? There's going to be totally strange and weird set of circumstances that makes most of the Libra Life go upside down, starting this week. However, unlike that character in Shakespeare's play, you know, the one there's a superstitious curse about? Anyway, the while words fail, I doubt that a real sword is the answer.

I don't doubt that you're going to run into a situation where your Libra self wishes you had a sword, a real, perhaps a decent Claymore, the Scottish two-handed mean, meaty, cutting machine. Swinging it overhead and then around to cut your opponents off at the knees, sure, that's the idea. Won't work. Have to use words, this week, as we all close out Libra and welcome Mercury in apparent retrograde.

Scorpio: I warned you about this, last year. Can't say this is sneaking up on you all of a sudden. It's not. Look, you can see it here. Or here. What are we going to do with this?

"We" are going to do nothing. There's a strong urge to start something special for the holiday season, up and coming. Xmas, New year, VD, all of that is ahead of us. You're tempted to do something, in preparation. For a minuscule percentage of you fine Scorpio people sure, that works. But for the rest? I'm talking about you, you, the one reading this? Don't lift a finger to prepare for any of the holidays, except, whatever you do to observe Halloween. Kind of a Scorpio holiday, too, dress up as some fantasy character, only, you secretly mean to be that person? Yeah, and it falls at the beginning of Scorpio. Did you know, behind Xmas, Halloween is the biggest retail event of the year, in terms of dollars spent? Maybe so, but this isn't the time to start spending money on stuff. Simply put. Stop.

Sagittarius HoroscopeSagittarius: Before this weekend starts? There's one, last, lingering, hanging project. Get a start on it. One unattended item. Start now. Get this kicked into gear before this weekend starts. Simply put. Start now, or hold off until, like ,after T-Day (Thanksgiving, third Thursday of November, start of Sagittarius, etc.) Get it kicked up and into gear before this weekend starts, or wait.

The purpose of a horoscope like this is to remind you that the wheels are about to fall off the vehicle. The end is near. Mercury is inching into a retrograde pattern, and there's no reason to let this catch us completely unawares.

Start before this weekend, or put off new stuff until, well, much later.

Simply put.

Capricorn: This is going to be so much fun. Have you ever run across one of those computer website things, the kind of "click here" action that is set up to be idiot-proof? Behold! Capricorn! The new and improved version of the idiot.

Wait, that's not what I meant. It's one of those tasks that's so simple, perhaps too simple? Not complicated at all? No complexity and you, me, we both sit there and try to figure out how the damn thing works. Just click, "OK." That's all. It's whole lot less complicated and complex than we make it out to be, but nothing could be that simple, right? There's got to be a catch. I was struggling with just such an idiot-proof site "feature" as I was about to start on this horoscope. Made me think of you. I spent fifteen minutes, wasted time, trying to figure out instructions that were there, plain as could be, right on the screen. Stop making this more difficult than it really is.

"It can't be that simple."

Actually, it can be.

Aquarius: There are two areas that this next Mercury in Retrograde will affect in the Aquarius charts. One is certain emotional upheaval. How bad will it be? Up to you, my dear Aquarius friend. Up to you. The other area is some philosophical material we need to go over again. Where stand, where you're "at" with your spiritual journey through this life. What's up and where are you going? And what process in that journey, where did you take a shortcut, and now we need to turn around and go back to adequately cover that material again. "Oh that pisses me off, having to go over that lesson again!" OK, so you can wrap both up in one. Here's the tip: consider this a trial run and an exercise rather than a real test. Practice. Not the real thing. We're fine-tuning this material for presentation, later. This is a dry run, a milk run, a test, a "beta version." Practice, that time before? Just testing to see if this might work. No reason to get upset. I know they said it was the real thing, but it's not Not yet. Testing.

Portable Mercury Retrograde

Pisces: I wrote a book about Mercury in Retrograde, called The Portable Mercury Retrograde. Let me try and condense that slim volume into a few choice words. Don't tackle anything new, if you can avoid it. Not now, not next week. Realize that you're going to have to cover some material you previous covered. It's review and revision time.

That's the easy part. The difficult stuff occurs when you're stuck going over the same answer, over and over again, and you keep getting the same results. Results that you desire, and normally, you can bend our way to your Pisces will, those results are not forthcoming right away.

Stop. Back up, back up carefully, but back up and trace the old route back to your starting point. Then see if the correct pathway is more clear. Might not be, but it's worth a shot.

Aries: Living where I do? I've heard the tale about the downtown Hilton a number of times. I've heard variations, and I've never really thought about doing any critical research because, as an occasional journalist of human behaviors and teller of tales, I appreciate the folklore quality.

The way I've heard this, variations on a theme, when the World's Fair, 1962? 1968? Whenever it was, the Tower of the Americas was built and then, the downtown Hilton needed to be completed. The rooms were assembled, furnished and decorated, then lifted as a whole room, and dropped into place. The hotel, supposedly, is like a giant Lego project, all stacked together. Can't say, never been inside. Hearsay evidence, on my part, not valid in a court of law. Folklore. Got it done on time for the world's fair, or the Hemisphere, whatever it was.

Aries, you've heard the tale. How much of it is true? Remember Mercury? He can make False Evidence Appear Real.

Taurus: One of my little buddies is a "Natural Doctor." Don't think she can prescribe real medications, or, at least, not class A narcotics. Bummer. Never underestimate the value of a blank prescription pad on a dull afternoon. However, she does prescribe various tinctures, oils, unguents, lotions, potions, and herbs. The real key, though, in that "All-Natural" practice? "Food." First things first? Food is first. Watch what you eat. I've been mostly organic since Austin, not a big deal or news to me. It turns out the biggest source for what ails a body? Food. With this particular Mercury Retrograde period? Consider, in the spirit of Mercury in a backwards pattern, where he is? In Scorpio, opposite you? Consider removing one type of food from your plate. This is an experiment. Just a test. Might not be the correct food to reduce, replace or remove, but you have to try some place. Remove one food group, one flavor, one spice, just try cutting back on one particular grouping. Consider this a truly "Mercury-inspired" move. Remove.

Gemini: I've used automated back-ups for so long, I've nearly forgotten about them. Right before this current Mercury Retrograde period, I was toying with one of the back-up things, and I found that the old hard disk was corrupt. Means the automated, fail-safe wasn't safe. We have a few days from when this horoscope goes live to when Mercury actually turns retrograde. Think about it. Got a "Mercury-proof" fail-safe? Is it like my automated back-up that was faithfully backing up corrupt material, turning my small mess into a bigger and more unusable mess? So, next couple of days, check on your automated routines. It's like lifting the trunk (boot) of the car to check to see if the spare is flat. I don't care much about rent cars, so it's not like I'll be checking a spare around here. Check your backup before this Mercury gets in full (backwards) swing.

cancerCancer: "A closed mouth gathers no flies." Words to live by, my fine Cancer (Moon Child) friend. Words to live by. Mercury, as of this moment, isn't really retrograde. But almost. Then, too, consider where this retrograde pattern is playing out, against a backdrop of Mars in Virgo? "A closed mouth gathers no flies." I'm pretty sure that the quote, with some kind of attribution, is in my first published collection of quite. I didn't look it up, though, I was just winging this. The message is simple and straight-forward, this isn't the time for talking. I'm a mighty Sagittarius. I can open my mouth and say the wrong thing, all the time. I'm comfortable with that aspect. AS a Cancer, though, you don't usually do that. There's an easy way to prevent you from doing that in the next week. "A closed mouth catches no flies."

The (mighty) Leo: One of my Leo friends has a trailer. Big, old RV travel-trailer, fifth-wheel rig. All the comforts of home, only, a little smaller, but still, all the comforts of home. Can take it with you. Literally. Here's the problem: Mercury (the planet) in Scorpio (the tropical zodiac sign), and Mercury is going to be retrograde -- soon. So I was thinking about the easiest kind of symbolism for Mercury's current and errant path, and how that will inflict problems on the mighty Leo. Simple enough. It's like that travel trailer? All it's stuff, the spices in the spice rack, the bottles of water in the little icebox? It's like someone hitched up and pulled the trailer out of there, before securing anything on the inside. When I lived in a trailer in South Austin, "back in the day," the trailer was never going to go anywhere. However, my Leo friend's trailer is. The problem? Make sure everything is secured. My guess is some portion of the Leo life, before this week is over, some portion of the Life of Leo will look like that trailer, on the inside, with everything spilled everywhere.

VirgoVirgo: San Antonio's Riverwalk is famous as a tourist trap. While it was first built almost a hundred years ago, it wasn't until more recent decades that the utility and functionality of the area as a tourist trap has been fully realized. Makes a good way to illustrate the effects of Mercury Retrograde on poor, poor Virgo.

I'm not saying you won't get recognized for your valuable contributions to society as a whole, and in particular for recent good deeds. But like the Riverwalk, with all its historicity, some of which pre-dates the Alamo, or the Battle of the Alamo, and all that? We have something to watch for. In the next 30 dys or so? As the Virgo person that you are, you're going to feel like you're being ignored. Might be the case, might be ignored, but that's not what this is about. Bide your time. Your time will come. Let's let this Mercury thing go sliding passed you. Breath and don't worry. I doubt it will take a hundred years to get noticed, but it might take that long. Or feel like that long.

For Virgo, the next thirty days might feel like a hundred years.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

1 comment… add one
  • jose quinones Oct 18, 2013 @ 18:21

    Being a Libra itself is a curse. Just today I had my run in with some troublesome people when making a delivery to a community college; “lady, didn’t you just hear what I just told you?” Nope, egos clash every time when the Libra elephant enters the room! (lol) I figured I’d get my read on and just do some music therapy these following months till the lucky six appear on my MegaMillions wrapping paper. I’d use it to wrap a nice cold subway sandwich…the fancy Tuscan Chicken.