Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 2.27

“You unlace your reputation…
And spend your rich opinion, for the name
Of a night brawler.”
Shakespeare’s Othello [II.iii.185-7]

Yeah, just great. Mercury unwinds from a retrograde pattern and Mars winds up for a retrograde pattern. We were so close to being out the woods.

The Mars Minute

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 2.27.2014

piscesPisces: I always see birthdays as a rebirth time of the year, in a person’s life. This birthday is no different, in that respect. The over-arching symbolism that pins this week together is a lunar phase, marked with two heavy-handed pieces, bookends, life stuck between the retrograde patterns.

Means this is a tough one, but a good one. What’s life without a little adversarial climate infused with a certain war-like planet, now in a retrograde pattern?

Before taking ANY Pisces action? Before setting forth, or before making plans to do this and that, and then this? Give it a rest. There’s a moment’s pause, right now, that can save a world of troubles. Pause. I didn’t say stop, just pause. Remember that Mars is backwards and that’s just causing us all to need to take a few moments’ pause before we do THAT.

You know what I mean.

Aries: It was called, as I recall, the Chinese Finger torture/trick/cuff. I don’t recall, exactly, what the title was. It was a toy, nothing more than a mere tube of woven straw, stick your fingers in. Pull, and the fingers are locked in place. Chinese Finger Puzzle, woven from bamboo, that’s it.

The point of the puzzle, as a novelty, is the more one struggles with fingers locked in place, the less willing the bamboo is to, “Give it up.” Locked in place, fingers aren’t going anywhere soon. Therein is the problem. That’ also a good metaphor, specifically directed at Aries. Mars is backwards and for that matter, opposite you. Mercury, while technically not retrograde, still isn’t ramped up to full speed yet. There’s also the pernicious Jupiter and Uranus bearing down on you at a bad angle. If you relax, stop struggling, and let the bamboo resume its normal shape, you can extricate yourself, your Aries digits, just fine. Stop pulling on something that doesn’t want to be pulled. Push your fingers together and gently ease your way out.

Taurus: This situation came up the other day, but I was reminded, yet another time, teacher-student? Teacher can learn as much from the student as the student supposedly learns from the teacher. I know that is true in my own work. Each new client, or returning client for an astrological check-up? I may be the “expert,” but I have to remain “teachable” during the course of any client, Kramer interaction. This is not a new lesson, and as soon as I get to the point where I’m about to lecture rather interact, I know there’s a problem. The problem is me. Turn this around for my Taurus friends, right now, as the planets begin to unwind in a weird way. If you’re the boss, and why shouldn’t you be the boss? This is time to listen to the rank and file employees. If you’re a rank and file employee, this is a time to make suggestions. The sticking point about making suggestions? Might not be heard, or worse, the boss hears, then appropriates your idea, co-opts is as his (her) own.

Relax, this is going to work out, but the most important point? Remain, in your Taurus brain, teachable.

Gemini: A simple word of advice, looking at the way the stars (planets) stack up against this week’s Gemini?

“If it looks silly? It probably is.”

Perhaps a better way to explain that? If it sounds like a silly choice? Then don’t.

This is, at best, counter-intuitive — especially considering the source. Certainly not advice that I hand out lightly. Still, there’s an air “seriousness” that must be embraced.

Frivolity and mirth have their places in the Gemini arsenal of day-to-day tools. As a suggestion, though? Even though it amuses your Gemini selfs and me? Might not tickle anyone else. Assume mantel of seriousness, as much as you can. More will get done.

Cancer: I don’t think I’ve got any tweed (sports) coats left. I had a few at one time or another, as it was a look I thought I liked. I never made it to the “leather patches on the elbows” style exactly, but I was headed that direction. I got derailed thinking about tweed sports coats as a casual yet formal type of attire because I was worried about the Jupiter Influence in your sign. Casual, yet business like, too. Casual and slightly refined, and there’s got to be a hint of “unkempt” about the Cancer signs. Absent-minded but brilliant professor, a look I’d like to adopt for myself, that works. Which is why I was thinking of seeing if I still had a tweed jacket. I don’t. Recently, I’ve strayed towards simpler and more conventional dress, just keeping life easier. Fewer wardrobe choices means less overhead. Still, there’s an absent-minded professor quality to Cancer this week. Maybe a tweed jacket is just what you need to pull that off. Worth looking, even if you don’t buy it.

The (mighty) Leo: Way I see it, there are two varieties of fishing buddies. Kind of simple, breaks down in just one of two types, in the boat. One likes to talk. He’ll talk a blue streak, the whole time we’re out. Won’t shut up. One trip, the only time he shut up was when there was large fish on the line, and my buddy was busy, concentrating on not losing the “big one.” The other type is silent. He’s quiet unless he needs some assistance, like, “Hey, grab the net,” or “look at the size of this one,” as a large fish breaks the surface of the water. Quiet one, some days, you never know they are there. The talkative ones? You always know exactly where they are (echolocation.)

I’ve ridden with both types. I see advantages to them both. I enjoy either one’s company on a fishing trip, either for a day, or for an extended trip. Doesn’t matter to me. Between the two retrogrades? As the mighty and majestic Leo? Which ever one you seem to be, the silent type or the noisy type? This next few days? Do the opposite. Leo talker can shut up and Leo silent types need to talk more.

Virgo: I’m trying to guess how many times I’ve been suckered into the “Click here and get rich” scam. It must happen on an almost daily basis, “Click here and we’ll guarantee money in your inbox!” I have an email address I set up just for signing up for free offers like that. It’s obvious that they all use the same programs and the business model itself hasn’t changed.

Before there was the inter-webs and electronic mails, these offers were in the back of magazines, sometimes in the newspapers. Humanity hasn’t changed much, the only difference is the method of delivery. The goods, the scams, the bogus ads, the hype that depends on your own, internal longings? None of that has changed. I’m sure there’s a cave painting with a neanderthal sketch that was the same message as, “Act now while this offer is still good!”

Normally circumspect Virgo types are best served extreme caution: if it sounds too good to be true? At the very least, it warrants further investigation.

Libra: Conversation about Mars in Retrograde?

“What does it mean?”

Means that the planet Mars appears to move backwards when compared to the way the other planets — and stars — all move.

“What does it mean?”

The war-like drive and the other energies that propel us forward are slipping into reverse.

“What does it mean?”

Stop, slow down, consider an action before taking the action, and put some of that romantic crap oh hold. It’ll be back, but a good Libra will slow down and let the rest of us catch up.

“What does it mean?”

Means Mars is backwards in your sign, and you’re liable to ask the same question, over and over, and more than likely, you’ll get the same answers, repeatedly.

Scorpio: Scorpio buddy of mine, he was heading to the coast, with his family, to fish. I swung by, to loan him a little fishing hardware. “Early spring break, taking the kids,” and he motioned to box of stuff in his back seat. It included a game console, xbox playstation thing.

“Really?” I asked in mock exasperation.

“You ever been cooped up in a beachside condo in the rain, with a couple of pre-teens?”

No, I have yet to experience the dubious pleasure of such an event. Doubt I’ll ever get it, too, as I would still take them fishing rather than sit inside on a gloomy day. Even in the rain. Why we all have rain gear. With this Mars cycle just starting? Take a backup plan. “Make a backup plan because I reminded you”, then take it with you, as you have to go someplace.

Game console at the beach is just a horrible solution to me, but then, I’m neither the parent nor going. Saturn and Mars suggest you have a backup plan no matter how it might not be something everyone (like me) approves of.

Sagittarius: The first three questions from my Sagittarius mouth? The correct answers? “No.” “No, no, no.” Three negatives in a row. Fishing buddy of mine has a keyring for his bass boat, keyring is engraved with, “Sit down, shut up, hold on.” He likes to drive fast. Very fast. Three “No!”

My buddy with keyring that explains what to do? Both apply. We have us some great, near epic (in scope and detail) ideas. We’re mighty, mighty Sagittarius. “I’m going to do this, then this, and look at all I got accomplished!” So far? The only accomplishment is hot air, and some would suggest, coming from our Sagittarius mouths? This isn’t hot air, but air that’s been re-warmed. The idea, with ongoing retrograde patterns? Stop, pause, give it a rest, and let someone else take control. The biggest of these issues? Out of our Sagittarius hands, so no, don’t do anything. Said they’d fix it? Let them fix it. Do nothing and avoid censure.

Capricorn: Watch some coffee rituals. I noticed this, one morning, it was, like three times in a row, not quite in a row, but I ran into the same people at the same time, early morning, at a coffee stop. One girl, comely lass, she would accept the latte, peel the plastic lid off the top, take a sip of foamed milk, then replace the lid. Every morning. Three mornings, I watched that. Her lips, as they sweetly sipped at the edge of the paper cup, then as she carefully, daintily replaced the top. It’s a morning coffee ritual. We all have them, I’m sure. I know that one of mine, if I’m home, I’ll grind beans in the morning. Whir of the burr grinder, first thing. Set water to boil and grind beans for that “just ground” freshness. It’s the coffee ritual.

Ritual, rote ritual and form, the way we’ve always done it, all of this is critical to keeping a degree of normalcy in with the urgings of Mars to fight back. There’s a certain order, and in most cases, that order, for Capricorn has to be observed. Slip the lid off the coffee, take a sip, put it back on — or whatever ritual you observe.

Aquarius: Cool winter afternoon in downtown San Antonio, I was walking along, through one of the more touristy areas, and I noticed banner. Flag. A flag that was more a banner than a flag, and I think there’s a picture on a side-project site.

Just four letters on blue background, maybe some geometric shapes, butterflies, flowers, who knows? From the north side of the building, standing on the sidewalk and looking at the flag, it said, “Open.” From the south side of the building, again, on the sidewalk, looking up at the flag, or banner in the shape of a flag, it said OPEN, as well, as that was lettering that went all the way through. Only, from the south side, it looked backwards. Still clearly visible. Still unmistakable message.

Off? Not quite right? Perfectly normal, but askew? Could be any one, or more, of those terms to fit this “backwards” flag. The message was clear, just the letters, the O was OK, but the other three looked funny, although, in my mind, I could see, read, and interpret the exact and precise meaning of the letters.

Symbols. Read the symbols. Some things, starting now, will appear to be “backwards” when you can, easily, still understand the precise meaning.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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