Venus enters Pisces

    “The pale moon shines by night;
    And when I wander here and there,
    I then do most go right.
    If tinkers may have leave to live,
    And bear the sow-skin budget,
    Then my account I well may give,
    And in the stocks avouch it.”
    Autolycus in Shakespeare’s Winter’s Tale [IV.iii.17-23]

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 4.3

astrofish.netAries: If the clothes make the man, then I’m fairly useless. For at least half of my professional career, my attire consisted of Austin Formal, which is shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. In Austin, over the years, I often was shirtless, with a shirt in hand. Especially in the months that are warm, like January through December, most days. Drifting further south and with a slight change in peers, my attire didn’t change much. However, it was cold last week, and I showed up for a meeting wearing jeans, black t-shirt, with a casual sports coat over that. The reaction was varied, but quite strong. “Kramer? I didn’t recognize you.” Of course, there’s always the, “My you clean up well.” With my hair back in a ponytail, “Where’s your hair?” All interesting, all because my environmental influence suggested long pants and something warm.

“Wow, you look good in clothes.”

Still, all a part of me. As an Aries, I’d suggest you use a similar stunt. Dress up for the occasion. Doesn’t have to be anything drastic, like me, it was just jeans and t-shirt, sport coat, because it was cool outside.

Taurus: There’s a Taurus author in my client files. Dear friend, good client, excellent writer. My message was simple, “As soon as Amazon has your book in their catalog, I’ll link to it.” Why do I do it like that? Simple, really….

An Amazon link is easy, and I make a small commission. While I have a pure heart, until that book is listed with Amazon, and I can earn rewards for throwing out a link, until then? It’s obvious that my altruism is tainted with perfidy and larceny. If you stop and think about it, though, this less about theft and more about Full Disclosure and Transparency. My motivations are two-fold, one, most obvious, I like making a commission, albeit tiny to next to nothing at all, and two, I like helping. As a Taurus, it is time to emulate my actions. Yes, you will do this “thing” in the next week, as long as A (this “thing”) has some tangible benefit for Taurus. Those book-sale commissions aren’t much, but every little bit helps, and now, more than ever before, it is best to weigh and gauge your action. Altruism is assisted by capitalism.

Gemini: We all run into items that don’t seem to belong together. In this situation, it was a “Slayer” sticker on a mini-van. Older model mini-van, the archetypical “Mom” car? The Slayer sticker, that’s a band, I don’t think I’ve got much of their music, if any at all, and I’m not worried about it. Metal. Or punk, or Thrash, or I’m not even sure. Metal in its many variations, I’m sure. I’ve always admired that band’s artistic direction, as in, the band’s name was a logo unto itself. The hazard script scrawled band name? The image carries farther along with the idea that car, mini-van, it had a female, easily presumable as the mom, and a couple of kids. As a Gemini, you’re going to run into a similar type of scene. Never thought about a Slayer sticker on your mom’s car? I don’t mean that in a disrespectful manner, this isn’t “Yo Mama” joke. This is one of those items that jars the conscious mind a little, perhaps the subconscious and can launch you in a number of different directions, as if you weren’t already doing that now. Look. Look around. There’s some frankly (dis)cognitive observations. Those weird things? That can launch you in a new direction. New solutions to existing Gemini challenges.

Cancer: It’s an old mantra, leftover from what many would call a, “Misspent youth.” I enjoyed it, so I won’t call it that. The mantra that my little Cancerian friends can use, even now? “Racing improves the breed.” This isn’t about horse racing, unless one want to include “iron steeds” as part of that moniker. I built and raced motorcycles for a brief time in my youth. Drank a lot beer, etc. What got bantered about, and as an echo, applies even now? Competition helps one discover where there are weaknesses and flaws, and offers opportunities to improve. In my original term, “breed” referred to a single manufacturer’s marque. A brand, is the current lingo, a single brand. The added stress of racing — higher expectations, greater mechanical trauma — explored weaknesses that weren’t present in standard equipment. As this week unfolds, there’s going to be a breaking point. Something’s going to give way. What that means? Time for some back room, Cancer-style “engineering.” Fix it. Patch it up with something that might be better. It’s trial and error, or was for me, so I suspect that it might take more than one fix, but you’ve got the skills for this.

The (mighty) Leo: As a Leo, the mightiest of all the Fire Signs (Leo, Sagittarius, Aries), you have it made. There’s one problem I’d like to make you aware of. I didn’t say, ‘Point out a Leo flaw,’ no, nothing like that. Just a problem area that stems from Pluto (Cap) Square Uranus/Sun (Aries) Square Jupiter (Cancer). Plus Mars moving in apparent retrograde motion in Libra. This highlights a NON-Leo problem. Don’t take it on. Don’t embrace that issue, wrap your magnanimous Leo arms around it, and hug it until that problem is yours. One of the verbal clues I listen for, in this situation, to tell what’s rightful yours and what’s someone else’s big issue? “But (something) because (something),” where you can fill in the (something) with justifications, causes, problems and reasons why this is your problem. When it’s really not.

“But it is because…”

See what I mean? I didn’t say don’t be supportive, just don’t shoulder some burden that doesn’t belong to you.

Virgo: Different girlfriend, long time ago, Virgo, yes, I dated way too many Virgo’s, but that’s not the point, she had an old bed. Hopping in one night, the slats gave way and the mattress fell to the floor. Now, it’s a funny situation. At the time, and with her Virgo mindset? Not so amusing, not to her.

“We broke my bed!”

If that had been anything but sliding my butt into the bed, it would’ve been funnier, like a swan dive, or jumping off the furniture. No, just hopping into bed. No action, just stopped any further action, that evening, anyway.

Nothing broke, the slats were installed incorrectly, slats slipped, and mattress go boom. Easy enough to fix. Doubt it’s the Virgo bedroom, but there will similar mishap, Mars inspired, that will impede Virgo forward motion. Blame me, worked then, blame me, then put it back together again, correctly.

Libra: Recipe called for 1 teaspoon of cayenne, 2 tablespoons of chili powder, a 1/4 cup of cocoanut oil(1), 3 cups of “pepitos”(2) and dash of sea salt. Meld everything together and roast for 10 minutes or so, in the oven. Heart Smart, Paleo snacks. First time I tried it, I mixed it up and added a full, heaping tablespoon of cayenne. Mixed with the chili powder and melted nut oil, the cayenne loses some of its edge. Not all, though. Herein is the problem in Libra: Mars and the hidden edge. Like my little snack recipe, recipe is heart smart and healthy, like that snack recipe, the hidden edge with the cayenne is still present. Got to be careful with stuff like that. Whether you’re mixing a snack item like I was doing, or if you’re attempting something else, the hidden edge? Glad it’s warm again and I was drinking a lot of water.

    (1) Cocoanut oil — or favorite fruit/nut oil used for baking.
    (2) Pepitos are un-blanched, raw pumpkin seeds. Different names in different places.

Scorpio: There’s one “Nuevo-Mex” place that advertises “heart healthy Tex-Mex.” My understanding is that the primary ingredients in Tex-Mex (original fusion cuisine), we got lard (rendered pig fat), grease, meat, refined flour, corn meal and more pig grease. Three types of “not heart smart oil” and various meats. Grill, fry, grease and more grease. I discovered, one holiday season, the principal ingredient in the tamales I so dearly love? Lard. So a “Heart Smart” star by the menu item is questionable, at best. Besides, the principal ingredients that have the flavor I crave? Again, lard, pig fat and other meat-grease. Salt. Cornmeal, most likely, a GMO corn. White flour. Refined sugar and high-fructose corn syrup. How to tease out some kind of healthy ingredients, much less anything remotely “heart smart” by current standards? I just don’t see it. This is about advertising without any real backing. Besides, in my mind, I might be narrow-minded, but the way I think about these things? I don’t see anything remotely “heart-smart healthy” about Tex-Mex. Doesn’t mean that I won’t have some, but it’s not where I typically turn for healthier choices. As a Scorpio, weigh your options. Someplace that advertises all healthy food? Is that really the cheap comfort you’re looking for?

Sagittarius: As a Sagittarius, I’m adept at changing directions. I can shift mental gears and go careening off in a new direction with no hesitation. From profound to profane, and back again, just that quick. It’s not about changing gears or changing directions, though, it’s about being adaptable to changing conditions. One pathway along the river was blocked. Construction of some sort, and the sign indicated that the river’s path — river walk — would be closed for an indefinite period. That first time, I just followed a well-worn footpath to a city street. The second time, I just detoured around the blockade. There was no third time, as I waited until I figured the pathway was clear again. That obstruction, though, paved the way for me to explore yet another neighborhood. What some people would perceive as an impediment to forward motion, in our Sagittarius minds, that’s just an indication we need to try another route. Detours, inspired by errant Mars behaviors, are just another one of little “lucky” breaks.

There is one Sagittarius, a girl I know, and she’ll reply, “Luck? What’s lucky about this? I’m 20 minutes late for work, and your fault! Stupid highway system.”

Hey, you missed the sling and arrows, in that first 20 minutes, you should thank me.

Capricorn: There’s a certain amount of consternation unleashed by various astrological forces. As a Capricorn? “We stand alone.” Wait. The first time I glanced at that expression, “We stand alone,” I did a mental pause. One of those moments in conversation when I’m carefully assessing three different aspects, and it appears that I’m stoned. Just thinking through the grammatical meaning on that comment. This time, that’s what I was thinking about “We stand alone.” With no proper antecedent, I’m unsure of who, or what, the “We” refers to. If you read, this and I’ll bet you’re solo at the moment you’re reading this, “We stand alone,” makes good sense, except that the “we” refers only to yourself. Bit circular, yes, but still. There are times when community, friends, and various other cohorts are all nice. There are times when you can gather the forces of might and right, assemble an army of friends, and valorously vanquish your foes. Not going to happen this week. “Who’s with me?” Wave your sword. All alone. Just in the face of opposition this next few days?

“We stand alone.”

You’ll figure it out.

Aquarius: Ruin and damnation abounds. Every time you turn around, there’s another one trying to drag down your good, Aquarius self. Feels like they are all out to get you. True, it does feel that way. True, they are all out to get you. True, you don’t have enough hours in a day. False, you will lose. This is where I appeal to the more human side of the Aquarius. This is where you cautiously reach out. This is where you assess a situation, damage control might be a better term, and this is where you look to figure out what you can do to help. Stop, pause, assess. Damage control, minimize pain and suffering, help make a painful situation less painful for some? Get an image? Got an idea? Now, the careful part, are you ready? Stop, before you commit to any action, stop and assess, for yourself, what is OK. What’s not too much. “But I have to help!” Sure you do. I’d agree. But, and this is pretty big caution here, what can you do without endangering yourself?

Pisces: “Get out of the way! Coming through, coming through, GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

Venus enters Pisces this next couple of days, enjoy it. However, as a caution, when you hear that phrase, “Get out of the way?” As soon as you hear that, read it, spot it on the road ahead? I cannot strongly suggest this enough, “Get out of the way!” Pull over, pull to the right, dodge to the left, something, anything. As some, here’s what it looks like to me, you’re walking down a hallway and someone behind you screams, “Get out of the way!” Instead of moving, you stop and pivot, right in place. A person — not a Pisces — runs right over you.

To me, not a Pisces, it’s almost comical if the collision didn’t hurt so much. To you, it’s not funny. This can be easily avoided, though. When someone tells you to get out of the way? Heed that warning.

This week, despite the incipient Venus influence, it’s not about you. “Get out of the way.”

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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