- “Pig-like he whines”
- Shakespeare’s Two Noble Kinsmen [V.iv.69]
The same could be said about me, “Oh shut up, Kramer, quit your whining.”
Oink.
Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 7.3
Cancer: 4th of July holidays are special. We celebrate, here, in a number of ways. Apple pie, fireworks, the good Cancer birthdays and parties. Usually pool parties. Lakes, seaside, beachside, any place we can mix water and alcohol. Not always a safe combination, and with what’s happening at the moment? Pick one. Out of two, pick one. There’s a simple message. I once happened across these party cups that were perfect: alcohol — helping white people dance. As it is your birthday, and as I would always suggest a beachside, seaside, lake side, creek side retreat? My weekend suggestion, planets be damned, is that recline at some “side” location of your choosing, a favorite, if possible, with an adult beverage of your choosing. Since Cancer is, at least in my understanding, a water sign, I do urge this be beside some water. Beverages and locations are up to you, as your circumstances allow. I’d prefer a fishing pole, but work out what suits you best.
The (mighty) Leo: Got ahold of a green shake. I was experimenting with various whey/protein shake mixes. This one was “all-natural, all organic, grass-fed, free-range protein.” List of the ingredients sounded about right, no chemicals on the label, looked like lawn clippings in the canister, sure, I was willing to give the stuff a try. Tasted OK, not great, but certainly better than the last homemade “kale-carrot” smoothie I made.
That tasted horrible. Spinach, kale, carrots, no, not one I’m likely to try a third time. So the “green” mix intrigued me. Tasted fine, made it with some soy milk, throw it all in the blender, all good. Healthy, green, tasty. Only, because this was an “all-organic” product, there were no fillers and binders.
Never realized how important that stuff was, the fillers and binders. At the bottom of the blender? There would always a be a fine, moist powder, the rest of the stuff that didn’t stay suspended in the solution because, as an all-organic, all-natural supplement, there were no fixatives. As the mighty Leo, if you’re going all-natural, there will be some left over. Like the concentrated powder mixture that doesn’t stay suspended in the solution.
Virgo: “Minimize.” Because I used one brand of computers for so long (Apple), I never realized that there was a command on other operating systems that allowed a program’s running window to stay open while having it shrunk down to out-of-sight. The command, so I’ve been told, is called “minimize.” The operating program and its associated routines continue to operate, perhaps at a reduced processor rate (I’m not sure), but the programs and their associated data windows remain available with a quick click. Handy trick, “Minimize.”
As this week and its holiday celebrations begin to rocket forward? Consider following that computer trick, where you can “minimize” a certain Virgo task. I didn’t say “avoid,” I didn’t say “not to do,” just consider a quick click where the project, goal, Virgo task becomes a small reminder on the screen of the Virgo life. Quick click? And we’re back. And one more click? Minimize. Best trick yet for this week.
“Kramer’s Virgo horoscope is annoying this week, doesn’t make sense. I’ll just minimize this window.”
See how easy that is?
Libra: I had this one Libra girlfriend. With Mars, where he is? She scooped up a few meager items off the bed in a trailer in South Austin, dashed out the door, only, mere moments later, she burst back in, “I forgot something.” Whirl, swish, bang, boom, and back out the door. Moments later, back in, “And one more thing!” Then another whirlwind.
The back and forth, constant coming and going, to-ing and fro-ing, here and there, the symbolism falls apart with that last one, but you get the idea, right? Much action, and to an outside observer? That action doesn’t seem justified. I’m an astrologer, so as I watched that Libra hustle, back and forth, three times, I look at the chart, and I understand. I might be the only one who does (understand Libra this week). It’s going to take three times as much action to get from here to there. As Mars is “set off” by the Sun, though, that kind of extra action won’t seem like too much work for Libra. Other people, though, might not get it.
Scorpio: I’ve long since forgotten about my buddy and his fireworks stand, except that the analogy pops up a couple of times a year. This year, in Scorpio, my buddy and his ubiquitous fireworks stand are back. In Scorpio. What it means, for Scorpio, it’s like his stand, only open twice a year. You have to work really long hours while you can.
These next few days could easily see you working at that fireworks stand from sun-up until long after the summer sun has set, like, until 2 in the morning, as long as there are customers. They want fireworks? You sell them fireworks. Paying customers with hard, cold cash? You’re willing to take it. I see a few 20-hour work-days in the next couple of days. However, there is payoff. That fireworks stand makes enough money to pay all the bills (and a few fishing trips) over the next six months. It’s worth it. Work while there are customers, lined up, with fistfuls of cash. You’re a Scorpio, you can work hard.
Sagittarius: Given about half a chance, as a typical Sagittarius, I’ll retire with a book and read. Or maybe an a tablet, or phone, but more than likely, given my age, I’d retire with a book. Read some. Quietly. Academic pursuits, intellectual challenges, and maybe, some “pulp” fiction. I’m attracted to it all and all of it makes for appealing mental fodder, as a Sagittarius. We’d all like to retire to a cool spot and just read for a spell. Regrettably, that’s not going to happen.
It’s riotous weekend filed with revels and cavorting with said revelers. We’re getting dragged along to a number of events we might — or might not — want to attend. For many long years, my stated goal was to get to a Willie Nelson’s Fourth of July Picnic. I finally made it, once. Don’t think I’ll be going back, either. What they say about Willie’s fans? It’s true. However, as a one-time experience? Well worth it. Well worth it. So? Follow my lead, if you get dragged off to some three-day weekend/party thing. It might be a worthwhile experience.
Capricorn: I attended a concert-like affair at one of the nicer theaters here. Good music, good times, not my first time in the auditorium. I watched as the crowds started to show up. Keep in mind, this is summer, blistering warm, nights in the city sometimes, it doesn’t really cool off, so it’s hot. Overtaxed AC units. That one theater? Nice and cool, still, getting there, getting home, I wore my summer default clothing, shorts, sandals, Hawaiian shirt.
Got one snide “Hey, Jimmy Buffet” comment.
Whatever. What was curious, to me, was watching a number of the patrons shuffle up in tight jeans and manly footwear (cowboy boots). The shuffle, the tripping on the curb, the apparent unfamiliarity with where the feet are. “Where am I going and what’s with the pointed boots?” I can easily wear cowboy boots, but in shorts, I prefer sandals. The odd part, to me, was watching the greater number of people tripping along, shuffling, obviously unfamiliar with the shape and weight of the footwear. Suffer fashion, I suppose. Suffer fashion. Should you suffer fashion? It’s a (US) holiday. If you dress for comfort? You will be dressed to impress.
Aquarius: Happy Fourth of July, my Aquarius friend. Please stand back. Please stand out of the way. Please look out. Might want to step back. Might want to step aside. Might want to get out of the way. I was raised with an understanding that the Fourth of July was a time to blow things up with innocent firecrackers. Ant hills, as I recall, were a favorite destination. The big, fire ant hills that populated my East Texas rural environments in those fateful, early summers. I wouldn’t dare dream of that now, not sticking a handful tiny gunpowder-laced charges into an ant bed, not now. The joys of youth, and youthful ignorance. These days, my Aquarius friend, we’re less likely to “blow stuff up,” and we’re more incline to watch. Think about this as an academic pursuit, think about this as a chance to observe. Think about stepping back a pace or two, when some guy lights up a handful of small firecrackers in an anthill. Might want to move out of the way. Step back, and observe, preferably from a safe distance.
Pisces: One the more amusing bail bond ads I’ve seen, “You ring, I spring. Betty’s Bail Bonds, Corpus Christi, TX.” My favorite part? “You ring, I spring.” Catchy line, seen it on billboards and park benches, usually along the road that I’m guessing, is most frequently used to haul off beach revelers who over-consume. Give them a catchy phrase, easy to remember, “Quick, write down that number.”
“You ring, I spring.” It’s an escape clause. It’s a way out. It’s a secondary plan when the first plan — not get caught — fails. It’s the answer to the question this week. You do have a secondary, fall-back, back-up plan, right? As a Pisces, you need to make sure you’ve got a number, like that catchy bail bond ad, make sure you’ve got a number on speed dial, helps a lot. Might not need it, but then, what happens if the first plan, not to get caught, what happens if that plan fails? Need a plan B.
“Call Betty!”
Aries: There is a time to loudly proclaim you are the underdog. This isn’t one of those times. There is a time assert your dominance. This isn’t one of those times. There is a time to loudly state your position (and why you are correct). This isn’t one of those times. Yes, you have a valid point, and yes, you are correct, and yes, I’ll agree, you should stand up for what’s right, but not now. Not right now. I can’t be much more clear, can I?
Time and place, time and place, time and place. This isn’t the time — or the place — to make your position known. Part of the tenets of my version of astrology is knowing when to hold them, when to fold them, and when to figure out a better way to say what you’re trying to say. I’d suggest you draft a copy of the message, first. You are right, of course, just now? Not really a good time to push this correct Aries view forward.
Taurus: The common rejoinder is “Austin — Live Music Capital of the World!” Sure, sure it is. I can’t speak to that now, but there was a time, any given night, gifted, talented musicians of all stripes would be playing in Austin, seven nights in a week, with some fairly reputable luminaries as examples. Not a problem. I got spoiled, as I could see good stuff, just about any night.
From what I’ve gathered, over the intervening years, Austin is still the musical sweatshop of the world.
With the abundance of good music, and the plethora of talented musicians, the atmosphere — to me — resembles a sweat shop. Long hours, poor conditions, low pay. Possibly dangerous conditions for the employees, the musicians themselves. As a Taurus, long hours, low pay, poor conditions, that sounds like the way it’s been the last few weeks, right? Here’s the bad news: this will continue. Here’s the good news: once this is over? You’ll get the deal you were working for. Here’s the bad news: the short term, rest of this week? Still have hard work, low pay, miserable conditions, next couple of days.
Gemini: One Gemini always invoked a country song’s lyrical refrain, “If you can’t be good, be good at it.” She’d then leer at me with wanton lust in her eyes. I do love me some Gemini girls, that’s for sure. Not to put a damper on it, but there’s another country song that comes to mind, “I’m not as good as I once was, but I’m good once…” Much as I detest languishing into C&W lyrics for inspiration or metaphors, I have to go where the material leads us.
As this week becomes a weekend and as the weekend goes into the next week? We’re going to spend more Gemini time talking about how good it is, rather than participating in whatever it is that is good. Then, too, in my case, age sets some practical limits. Not everyone is so encumbered, and it’s not slowing me down that much, just, I make more careful choices about certain physical activities.
I’m also more careful about letting my mouth run off and make promises that I can’t — physically — keep up with. That’s the clue. Can you work with that?
