Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 10.2

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 10.2
“This is the long and short of it.”
Mistress Quickly in Shakespeare’s Merry Wives of Windsor [Act 2, scene 2]

Mercury Retrograde, the long and the short of it.

LibraLibra: Shakespeare’s Merry Wives is an odd play. The accepted tale, what I was told again and again, was that the Queen asked for a play about Falstaff, wherein the character gets his comeuppance. I’d like to think I read that in a text. Sounds like something a textbook would have, but right now, I can’t seem to find that text. Turns out, that the story about the play’s source is entirely fictional. There is no corroborating evidence, anecdotal or otherwise, that truly supports the statement that, “The play was requested by the Queen.” Like similar tales and myths, stories about stories, there’s a birthday myth you’re currently supporting. Like the story about the play’s origins, though, what your Libra self is supporting might be true. Feels true. Worried about the facts? Birthday time: don’t worry.

Scorpio: Can’t say this caught you by surprise, no, you were informed earlier this would happen As the tricky Trickster begins his slide backwards, and as your Scorpio self begins to feel like this is it, the end is near? Stop and consider some of the symbolism — look at what’s going on around you. I’m not talking about what’s played out against the backdrop of the international stage, not what this is about. This is about what’s happening in Scorpio land.

There’s an immediate action that is required of the Scorpio self. Immediate and you know this was going to happen. Avoided it? Sure. I’m the last one to lecture anyone about not avoiding responsibility. Not what this is about, either, this is more along the lines of a recurrent message, a problem that you wish you fixed and, as it turns out, someone else let the Scorpio down. It’s up to you to fix this. Not me, not anyone else. Just your Scorpio self.

Sagittarius: I got a piece of email from an automated sender notifying me that my status had been updated, upgraded or that I was being noticed. Truly annoyed me. What I did? I clicked through to the website and adjusted my “communication” preferences. As in, “Don’t contact me, ever again.” Website, not unlike several I run myself, and the deal is? I can adjust the communication frequency from “occasional” to “never.” Used to be the “digested” version, and that might show my age and the number of mailing lists I’ve been attached to in the past. The number of lists I’ve managed, too. No, I didn’t want a digested version, not abbreviated, I didn’t want Social Media mailing me every time someone linked, liked, or licked one of my posts.

Simplest solution? Adjust the preferences. Mars makes us Sagittarius hot. How we handle it? That’s up to us. Flame mail gets sent to the spam can — never see it. Just adjust the controls. No need to get mad, just adjust the controls.

Capricorn: Flood and drought, flood and drought, all the weather I know. The last summer’s dry season made for some rather angry chili peppers. Wet chili peppers are kind, mild, delicious. The angry peppers, from drought conditions, tend to concentrate the heat (capsicum) elements, which in turn, makes for a hotter pepper. I prefer to think of them as angry little peppers. Recently, I had some Serrano peppers that weren’t exactly local, and had been raised with tender, loving care. Mild, piquant, tasty without too much “zest” (heat index). Some local farmers’ market Jalapeño, though? Full of fire and some rather angry peppers. Angry peppers are great to cook with, excellent as an all-natural component in the flavor palette. Have to use those angry peppers carefully. One per dish, is a rule of thumb. I bit into one, as a sample, the other afternoon? Tears, running nose, everything. Late summer peppers are hot. Have to watch that. This week needs your attention, like me, cooking with those angry peppers. A degree of finesse and don’t rub your eyes until after you’ve thoroughly washed your hands. Trust me.

“It burns; it burns!”

Aquarius: One of the best lines I’ve ever heard? “They told me if I cut my hair — tried a new style — my life would change, for the better, as quick as I did it!” I won’t say this was a professional in my line of work, but sounds a lot like it, doesn’t it? Bothersome, a little, but here’s the trick: one change, like a haircut, new shoes, whatever, a change like that? It helps. Whatever the change is, that has very little to do with the process. I liked her hair long. I’m a guy, honey, never cut your hair. Ever. That’s not what this is about. It’s about a significant — to you — change. A significant Aquarius change is what’s required, at this moment. Symbolic change, even. Get after it. Doesn’t matter what it is, just something. New shoes. New hair thing. Me? New Hawaiian shirt. New fishing lure. A significant, symbolic change? That’s all it takes to make this work better for Aquarius. What I’m all about.

Pisces: Traveling around Texas, especially the smaller towns, I get exposed to unusual, and localized, material. One such example, and I thought about Pisces this week, sign said, “Scrape it from your boots before you enter.” Near an oil patch, so I first figured it was not allegorical at all. However, I have to wonder if it was, at least, a little. Cowboys and roughnecks, the hardworking backbone of industry in some parts of my world, tough guys wrapped in tough exteriors. I had to wonder, though, if part of that sign’s message was to make sure that all of it, not just the dirt on the outside, but all of it, including attitude, needed to be left outside. Pisces, as this week’s energy rolls over you, think about that sign, and think about scraping it all off your boots before entering. All of it.

Aries: At five in the morning, there’s usually only one or two places open for coffee. One is obviously the 24-hour Starbucks. Towards that end, I’ve got one fishing buddy, and his first daughter, she has to see us off when we go fish, she must assume that I always have a Starbucks in hand. Every time she sees me, I have a cup — lately it’s been an Americano with an extra shot — of branded and thusly labeled coffee. She’s used to seeing “Uncle Kramer,” and she must think that’s all I ever drink. Both lakes and inshore sea fishing, buddy’s been both places, so the image of me, fishing poles, and a Starbucks cup all seem to fit for her. It’s also a misconception, as that’s not all I drink, nor, for that matter is it all that’s available. However, from that Aries perspective — what she sees, that’s it. Careful about making assumptions, this week, on limited perceptions.

“I only saw Uncle Kramer before the sun was up, and he always had a cup of coffee.”

Taurus: I looked at one woman, “You’re Taurus, right?”

“May 10, yes, how did you know?”

It’s what I do. Doesn’t work all the time, and the worst situation is when someone comes up with the “Guess my sign” question and game. I only get clear indications about birthdays and signs on some occasions. Doesn’t always work. I tend towards certain visual clues, but this is highly subjective, not at all objective, as this is material that is filtered only through my ears, my eyes, and my understanding of astrology — and its principals. Besides, 1/12 of the population can’t all look alike. These are my filters, and I’m being very open about them. This is how and what I see, filtered through a Sagittarius set of eyes and Sagittarius sentiments. My emotions color my perceptions. As a Taurus, I know you’d like to think you’re totally objective about this week’s “Taurus episode,” but you’re not. There’s the inherent “Taurus flavor,” if not shading and emotional overtones, that you bring to bear on this week’s “incident.” “No, I’m being totally (Taurus) objective about this, don’t you see?” Herein is the problem, and the easiest solution is to realize that your Taurus viewpoint, while quite often correct, might not be the only way of seeing things. Hint: I didn’t tell you to change your mind, just consider other angles.

Gemini: I have “One sneaky trick to improve your golf swing.” There might have been more steps to improve the Gemini golf game, but I can only think of one. There’s a whole industry devoted to selling products that might — or might not — improve your golf swing. I have a suggestion, although, to be totally honest, I’ve never played anything but electronic miniature golf, so golf isn’t a good one for me to comment on. However, as a Sagittarius, not having any experience — or knowledge — about a specific topic has never rendered me speechless. So my tip? I’ve got two buddies, fishing buddies, who also play golf. One has shoes, shirts, expensive golf clubs, several sets of golf clubs, all the gear. The other buddy has a golf bag with the same, single set of golf clubs and the one golf-rag/hand-towel still tied to his golf bag. To improve their game? Stop. Put the golf club back in its bag. Mars, opposite Gemini and Mercury, stationary then retrograde? Stop.

Cancer: No commitments. No strings attached. No safety harness. Got that? This is a week with no commitments, no strings, and no safety net, not for the Moon Children. I was sitting in a seminar, listening to a “Panel of Experts,” and there was a new “social media” site mentioned. I was idly taking notes — or playing a game — on my phone so I tapped the browser and joined the new, latest, greatest “social media” site for (insert some kind of label here). I don’t know what this week’s latest and greatest is, or was, as it’s changed since then, but the site that I joined? I’ve wasted — maybe — ten minutes on that, and otherwise? It’s just another billboard on the information freeway of life. Was it worth it? Probably not, but as bleeding edge tech guy, I have to try stuff out as it comes along. I did. I gave it spin. I was already joined before the presentation was over, which, in itself, says something about presentations and social media. My original premise for your week; No strings? No commitments? I never paid a penny for that site, which was part of the up-sell. No commitments, not this week.

The (mighty) Leo: While I love me my Leo, ya’ll going to encounter a bunch of cranky people this week. I can’t fix that. I can warn you, and then you don’t have buy into it when you encounter the cranky ones. They are out there. They are out there just to get to you. They are out there to impede your good, mighty Leo progress.

Easiest solution? See a frown? Go around. Dodge left, zag right, spin around on you heels and go the other way.

Image I have is one Leo buddy, in the grocery store, in the Super Wal-Mart, pushing cart half-full of bacon and eggs, that sort of thing. Maybe a can of green beans and some limes for beer. My buddy, she sees a friend/client/acquaintance and spins that cart around — heads in the other direction. While it’s not very Leo-like to avoid a confrontation, when the confrontation is nothing but a downer, the deal is, don’t. Don’t get involved, don’t get emotionally invested. That’s the clue, if you don’t buy into the downer? It can’t get your Leo spirits down.

Virgo: Dialogue or monologue? Anyone’s ever listened to me for an extended period of time, the question is, “Dialogue or monologue?” I tend to prefer a Socratic line when burrowing into an astrology chart with a client. Question and answer rather than me doing all the talking. Helps if I can quickly get up to speed on whatever the issue is. I was going to pull a couple of examples from Shakespeare, but that gets long-winded in and of itself. The question is dialogue or monologue? The deal is, with Virgo, look at Mars (Sagittarius) and Mercury (Scorpio), and there’s a temptation for Virgo to lecture rather than question (and answer). Monologue or dialogue?

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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