Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.18

    “Madame Sosostris, famous clairvoyante,
    Had a bad cold, nevertheless
    Is known to be the wisest woman in Europe,
    With a wicked pack of cards. Here, said she,
    Is your card, the drowned Phoenician Sailor,
    (Those are pearls that were his eyes. Look!)
    Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
    The lady of situations.”
    Excerpt From: T. S. Eliot. “The Waste Land.”

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.18

SagSagittarius: A Roman Centurion walks into a bar. He asks for “Martinus.” Bartender looks at him, “You means a martini?” The Roman solider answers, “If I wanted two, I’d order two.” Reminds me of what American author James Thurber(1) said, “One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.” Dead Latin language joke, quote from a deceased American humorist, and Saturn. Saturn tippy-toes into our sign. What up with that? We’re going to need poise, humor, dry wit, and a proper sense of the absurd to survive. I’m not advocating Gin — or any drinking of adult beverages — but as a Sagittarius, we have to ask, “What works right now?”

    (1) Sagittarius

CapricornCapricorn: Green chile stew. My solution to what’s up right now? Green chile stew, but mine’s a little different this week. I am, in part, Southern, as a portion of my family roots have an anchor in the Old South. The notion of green chile stew is decidedly more ‘Western’ than ‘Southern,’ but consider one of my recent ingredients: okra.

This recipe is easier than most, and it does a very creditable job of making a decent meal that lasts for days. I grabbed a jar of “Hatch Green Chile Salsa,” I poured that into the crockpot. Had some leftover hamburger, in it went, some free-range, drug-free stew meat from a local rancher. Some winter squash, a single cucumber that probably was green house raised, so it’s not really free-range and organic, but close enough. Let it simmer on “low” overnight. Something about adding the okra, it was good okra, local farmer, just down the road from us, and it was delicious. Green chile stew doesn’t usually have okra. Mine did. It was different. As Saturn shifts signs? We need a change, a subtle change in Capricorn. Either this is of your own making, or someone with force you to eat Okra Green Chile Stew. Happy Holidays!

aquariusAquarius: Living along the edge of a culture I don’t fully understand — appreciate — but don’t fully grasp the nuances? I see — and record — observations that don’t always line up in my own mind. “Shoes 3 for $20.” It’s a sign on the south side, busy street, strip mall kind of location. Looks like a knock-off of a brand name cheap store.

The math is what’s problematic for me. I tend to buy shoes as pairs. Pair of boots, pair of sandals. All I buy, anymore, and I haven’t purchased either in a some time. Use and resole, then walk well again. I have difficulty figuring out where the third shoe is used. How it’s used. To be sure, there’s some people to whom this makes good sense, but I just always figured that shoes should be sold in pairs. This isn’t about shoes, or signs, but about perceptions. My perception is that the signage on that one store is misleading or mislabeled. The store does a solid business, so the sign speaks to its target audience. Might not be me. Perceptions. As the shortest of days appear, let’s take note of Aquarius perceptions and realize those perceptions may not be the same as others(2).

    (2)Yes, I “get” that sign advertises 3 pairs of shoes of $20. That’s not the point.

PiscesPisces: “Dude, HEY, yeah, where’s the closest bar?” I looked up from my pedestrian ways, and I nodded in the general direction of “down the street.” Some guy, in an American-made pickup truck was talking to me through the passenger window. “Just up there? I’ll meet you there!”

Never seen the fellow before. Nor, for that matter, will I see him again anytime too soon. Closest place that served alcohol was a mere block, maybe less than that, just up ahead and as the light turned, I noticed he didn’t stop. There is another place, I suspect, not much further along, name changes, but the place smells like cheap, stale beer and cigarette butts most mornings, maybe there. I’m not sure, I didn’t follow up, as I’m not prone to drinking in the morning. Rather a random act. As Capricorn gets underway, the subtle Saturn shift is about to bring a new question into Pisces. Like my weird, well, weirder than usual, encounter on the street? Sometimes, when something is brought to our attention? It required no action on our own part. Parts. Don’t need to do a thing.

AriesAries: Living in a “warehouse district,” there are sights and sounds some people miss. I watched, one morning, as a driver backed a big rig (18-wheeler) up to a loading dock. The driver was masterful, he got it correct on the first try, then, as the trailer got closer and closer to the edge of the loading dock’s rubber bumpers, reminded me of floats some boats use, the driver carefully gauged his progress and stopped just inches short of tapping the dock and its bumpers.

That was inspiring to watch. Skill set I don’t posses and probably won’t, not now. There are skills you have, as an Aries, utilize those. Emphasize those. Run with what you got. Me? If I was backing that thing up, we’d still be there as I horsed it around to get it back up correctly, then I’d keep backing until I hit the dock, probably smashing the trailer’s door and maybe damaging the dock, too. As an Aries, it’s holiday time, ask yourself what you’re best at, and then? Stick to that. Stick where you’re the best.

TaurusTaurus: With all the holiday instability and insanity? A little nod towards normal is nice. A simple gesture that denotes tranquility and normalcy, just a token effort? For some, this is a routine gesture. For others, it can be a little more complicated effort, but the symbolism runs deep. Ritual. Steps taken because “We’ve always done it that way,” which fits this week’s Taurus temperament. To make this holiday season work best? Some tradition, some familiar routine, something you’ve always done? Time for that routine, that ritual.

Xmas Eve, I’ll be in church, in Austin, with family. Perfect Xmas ritual.

GeminiGemini: One of my tenets in life is live in a place that inspires me. Live some place that fulfills and evokes passionate response. For some of my Gemini friends, this would be a big city, think New York, LA. For others, this is a small, almost rural setting in Texas. Preferences vary.

These next few years, this is only the beginning, the next few years is about what moves the Gemini soul. Then, too, this is about location. It’s holiday time, what is the secret Gemini desire? Now, with the holiday madness and ensuing fall out from the planets in disarray? One Gemini step towards finding that place that inspires. Or moving there. Moving in that direction.

CancerCancer: One of my fishing buddies had this quip, “No rest for the wicked!” Reading it, it looks slightly ominous. Hearing it, and with his delivery, avuncular, merry, faux-bad, ironic. One, or more, of those apply. The term “avuncular” is my favorite.

There’s a powerful lunation that is close to the solstice, all of which marks a new start. This Xmas is a new beginning for Cancer. The effects of the new year have arrived, and they arrive early. This is a starting point. Now, even, next couple of days. Just shortly after Xmas, you feel it. Before the new scopes roll over, there’s a new beginning point.

Think of it thusly: New Year with its concomitant list of new changes for the better? Let it arrive early.

The LeoThe (mighty) Leo: I have a moral obligation to remind you that there is work on the horizon and one must be prepared for that. Looking at the Capricorn placements at this moment, I have an innate moral guidance system that demands I remind you that there is still much to be accomplished before the new year rolls over, and now, even on the eve of the big holiday, still, there’s something that needs, demands your attention (work-wise).

Then there’s my Sagittarius self, think all the while, it’s holiday time. Why bother the mighty Leo with work stuff now? Party on, like the good Leo you are. Just remember, that work thing? It will still be there after the weekend and a single spurt of Leo activity can wrap it up. Play, enjoy then one last thing so we get a great new year.

Merry Xmas, too!

VirgoVirgo: One of my fishing buddies hates, just absolutely hates this holiday season. False frivolity, fake friendships, faux feelings of good cheer spread around. He’s morose and moribund. Dickens had a character for him, like him, and then there’s the Grinch. My buddy identifies with the Grinch, until, of course, the end.

What’s happening, though, astrologically, this week, my buddy is face-to-face with good cheer? There’s a subtle shift, a change. I mentioned we like to fish, right? We got a special winter day of Texas Coastal Inshore fishing. I think there’s a picture on a website — someplace — me, big Redfish, Santa Hat. I was figuring it would be a good Xmas card image, but that’s not my style. Still, it conveys a message. That fishing trip, in the middle of the Xmas season, along with some decent catching, that worked. Changed his mind. I can’t take every Virgo fishing. If it’s too cold, I’m just not going, myself. However, the conditions are right, and in the next day or two, might not be real fishing — but some highly desired Virgo activity? Dark Moon, New Moon? Conditions are right. Go for it.

LibraLibra: Austin had the year-round “Christmas Store.” Only did banner business after T-Day, but as cheery, well-lit place to visit Xmas and that special retail Xmas season, yes, that was the place. It’s not Xmas year-round. It is for me, but I’m not Libra. As a Libra, this is special season, and astrologically, it’s filled with special starts and stops. Start, stop, go, whoa. Breathlessly rush forward only to encounter a fixed, immoveable object in your way. Stop. Do the Libra thing: search for a way to negotiate with that fixed, immoveable object. At some point, you’re going to feel like the holiday spirit be damned, you’re going to want to negotiate with a stick, or hammer, instead of pleasant conversation.

Trick, tip: stick to Libra balanced conversation as your chosen rhetorical form. Works better. It’s just this Capricorn stuff that’s making things anxious, and that’s over soon.

ScorpioScorpio: It’s time for the Scorpio (this should be a trademark move) evil grin. Scorpio Evil Grin ™. It’s what it takes to make it through, that sly, wry, sardonic, sarcastic smile? That Scorpio sly, sardonic, sarcastic smile? We know that you don’t mean it, or, you might mean it, or you mean it, but not in the way we think you mean it? Good stuff, great stuff, and then, Mars in Aquarius, causing tension? Smile. Smile that secret Scorpio smile. None of us are sure what it means, but then, given the way your planets are arrayed? You might not be sure, either, and some days, that’s a good sign. Scorpio is always a good sign, right?

Merry Xmas.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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