- “This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeon pease,
And utters it again when God doth please…”
- Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost [V.ii.315-6]
Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 2.12.2015
Aquarius: We’re entering a less difficult phase, now, and the birthdays, this week, should be well-represented. Many happy salutations and best wishes for the Aquarius new year! Best wishes for a fruitful Solar Return! The planets, and more specifically, the phase of the moon, it’s all about making a thorough clean-sweep to ensure that the last of the Mercury Mercurial Mayhem is addressed, corrected, and swept away.
There’s a perfunctory energy that can be quite effective, loosely, I’ve titled this a “Balsamic Moon Phase,” but the carryover, the hangover, if you will, is the same. This week’s energy is about cleaning up a leftover mercurial problem that really does need a little bit of the birthday attention. You’re an Aquarius? There’s one, this is in no way, shape or form painful, but there is one last detail that’s been bugging you since Mercury went Retrograde. That was four weeks ago. You can fix it, now. Happily, it is goes smoother — and easier — than you think.
Pisces: Make a wish! Dream big, make it a real “Blue Sky” kind of fantasy! No limits on what you can dream as a birthday wish, as a hope for your future, as your personal “Blue Sky” fantasy. The secret? No limits.
OK, let’s examine that dream, that wish, that — I can hear one Pisces saying, “No way this will ever happen.” Thanks bud. There’s a way around that way of thinking and there’s hope, but to have this hope, to reach that untenable dream? The Pisces mind has to shed one belief. What’s limiting your thinking? What’s a single, mind-numbing, fear-based thought that limits your thinking? Way the stars are right now, planets, really, the way they all line up for you? Shed a single limiting belief, and this week, is the time to let that one fear go.
“No way that will happen.”
What? Let go of the Pisces fear or attain that dream?
Aries: “Kramer! You’re an excellent Bushman!”
Thanks. I’m not sure what that means, but thanks. It was a phone text, and the auto-correct was kind of funny, I was setting up a reading with a client. I was guessing, that it was some kind urban slang, and I’m not sure I wanted to know what it really implied. As far as I knew, that term referred to either indigenous, or even none-native, denizens of the Australian outback, and then, possibly, native from portions of South Africa. Again, I’m limited in my urban slang.
I spent a few moments, trying to ascertain what that slang term meant. Again, no luck. The term could’ve been antiquated, but that usually shows up with a cursory search, or the term might’ve so recent I was unaware and the term wasn’t in any search engine’s reach (yet). Turns out? Auto-correct and not really a funny one, but amusing enough. Simple answer to a perplexing question. As an Aries, simple answer to a perplexing question?
Wait. Next email clarified the term, but that took a couple of hours.
Taurus: I was at a cocktail party, one of those snack-food, adult libations, and mindless chatter type of events. I never realized that I was being “hosted,” but at one point, I found myself in the center of a circle, and as the honored guest, I had to say a few things.
Times are weird for Taurus, because, like me, you find yourself at the center of a circle, and you’re not sure what to do. I have a quick, elevator-pitch bit of material, I can easily adjust my delivery for the situation.
“This is your astrology chart; you’re a Taurus; let’s find a way to use those Taurus-like strengths to the best of your abilities.”
Simple message. Hit home. Have a message ready to be delivered.
Gemini: I had three clients that all wanted to talk to me at the same time. I’m male. White, straight male. I can handle one at as time. Very linear. While I tend to not analyze in a totally linear fashion, the way I had to weight the question about who was to be first? Difficult decision. Had to do with money as to who was first. The one who pays the quickest, pays the most? Over the years, not a substantial amount for a tune-up reading, but over years? That comes first as that represents the most reliable source of income.
There’s a very basic decision process at work here. Sure, we like to bump the pretty one to the first of the line, but she doesn’t always represent the most lucrative, plus, there’s the thought, this has to be over time. Three people all want you attention at the same time. Sort out, there’s a process here, but sort out the ones who mean the most. I tend to look at this from a purely fiscal point, sorry, but the clients who pay on time get first shot. There’s a simple process. Could be even simpler, take them in order of calls received. There are several ways to do this. It’s about getting priorities in a row. Linear. Linear is a good process to follow. As Gemini, you tend to weave and wobble all over the place. Instead of doing that, this once, think of a linear solution. Goes in a straight-line from here, to there. Linear, logical solutions.
Cancer: Unless there’s a preponderance of Gemini in your natal chart, you know who you are, then the suggestion is less linear and less logical. “I think I would like to try this, next.” Typical Cancer statement, typical Cancer response. Looks like there’s a chance for new and improved (something). I can’t tell what the (something) is, not without looking at an individual and asking a few questions. So let’s skip that part.
Think about this, dear Cancer friend, think on this: time to change. Make this a willing change. Make this a change that you thought up on your own accord, with no outside influence. Think of a single change that works well for you. Consider a change that’s based in the emotional heart of the situation, and then think on that. Analysis will reveal that there’s a simple change you can make. Won’t fix everyone, but you’ll feel ever so much more comfortable, and frankly, that’s all I care about. Think about the change.
The (mighty) Leo: Old adage from years ago, in the retail world, “Anything the customer touches has to be first class.” It goes without saying that anything the Leo touches has to be first class, too. No need to reiterate that point. However, there’s another idea that spins off of here. In order to get the folks around you to treat you the regal person that you are? Treat us well, too. I do treat you well, don’t I?
Non-Leo people are continually upset with my absolute worship of all things Leo. Works for me, works for the greatest of the signs, the Leo. I don’t see a problem. However, that’s me. I’m one guy. There is a whole, big, bad world out there and some folks fail to understand that you’re the best. Best best friend, best accomplice, best fan, all of that. The trick to harnessing this week’s unstable energy, at the close of Aquarius? Be nice to us, first. Seems easy enough, right?
Virgo: Next week starts something new in Virgo-land. Problem being, most Virgo girls I know are going to argue with me about the “something new,” and insist on covering previously covered material to prove that I am, in fact, quite wrong. Until we prove that I’m wrong and you’re right, we’re going to have a problem. Only once we ascertain the fact that I am wrong, only then will Virgo, disingenuously, acquiesce to my suggestion that this is a time to start something new. Which it is. What I was talking about. Suggestions? New love affair, new job, new relationship with someone who you’ve known before, or even, just for a change, maybe being nice to Mr. astrofish.net, the Fishing Guide to the Stars, maybe just once being nice? Sure.
This is about a new start, a fresh start, a blank page you can fill up anyway your little Virgo heart desires. Get out the pens and pencils, the crayons, whatever you like to work with and start filling up that blank page with what you want this fresh start to mean for you.
Libra: Ever stop and play the “If I won the lotto” game? What would be the first choices, what would be the big deal you’d really want to take care of? I recall, one guy in Austin, his first action was to buy his mother a new car. True story. So what would that first Libra step be? “I’d want to pay off everyone,” or maybe, “buy mama a new car,” or “Go to Vegas.”
As a word of advice, while we’re thinking along these lines, first thing I’d do if I were Libra? I’d marry that long-term relationship. She obviously loved you when you were broke, no question she’s not in it for the money, that’s the first action. Marry the one who loves when you’re broke. As a Libra, this is a consideration, you know, that realistic, “If I won the lotto” scenario. Play it through.
Scorpio: One reason I wear a lot of “hawaiian print” shirts, is the colors and patterns. I can easily spill a breakfast taco and salsa all over a shirt like that, and no one will notice. I’ll notice, but then, it doesn’t bother me. Someone will make a snarky comment, and coffee will spurt out of my nose, onto that shirt. Again, no one notices.
“Back in the day,” in Austin, I used to drink a lot of “Hibiscus Mint Tea,” a strong, red drink. Stains white shirts. My colorful shirts? Not so much. Stains blend right in and look like part of the pattern.
I call the shirts “hawaiian print” shirts because a true Hawaiian Shirt should be made in Hawaii, with local material, and the telltale clue? Cocoanut (shell/husk) carved buttons. Just one of the small details that is missing from all of my shirts, hence the term, “hawaiian print” shirt. Not a true Hawaiian Shirt. Subtle difference, but an important distinction to some. I do this out of reverence for the shirt’s title, Hawaiian Shirt. Not much of a distinction, but there’s a little difference that matters to a handful of people. Small distinctions like this are important, and as a Scorpio, please be aware of these tiny differences.
I was overseas, guy asked if I was German. I said, “No, I’m from Texas.” Oh, so you’re American? “No, I’m from Texas.”
Subtle distinctions, Scorpio, subtle differences.
Sagittarius: If you want to book me for a reading, I’ve got a special running, it’s the “Saturn in Sagittarius Special,” and it applies to us, only. The deal is, I can sum up what I would say in that reading in a very short time.
The November Sagi are the worst afflicted by Saturn, and here’s the message: Work hard. Get paid, later. It’s that simple. I can make this up into a prettier message, and I can take a longer time to address the issues, and since I get paid by the time I spend, not the message itself, I can make this take longer. Saturn lets us know which area needs our concentrated effort. The point, the hardest part, as a Sagittarius myself? The most difficult part of the message is to figure out just what part needs the “course correction,” and then, where to apply our hard work. This next week? Pay attention to the details because the “thing” that requires the most effort on our Sagittarius parts? That’s going to be obvious before the next scope rolls over. Pay attention to the obvious details.
Capricorn: One of the great secrets I’ve discovered? Everyone has a story. Everyone. No exception, every person has a story that the person wants to tell. It can be personal narrative, it can be an epic tale of derring-do, it can be simple, heartwarming, shell-shocked, something, anything. As I toyed with your chart, I realized that what was going on, yes, as a mighty Capricorn, the most karmic sign of the zodiac, frequently the funniest, too, as a Capricorn, this week?
Listen.
Listen to your friends, your family, the significant other.
Listen.
It’s the most powerful message that there is, the greatest gift, and with the plethora of planets in Pisces? Best course of Capricorn action?
Listen.
Everyone’s got a tale to tell. Everyone’s got a story. This is the week to listen to others.
