Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 3.12.2015

Crossing the Bar
Alfred Lord Tennyson

    Sunset and evening star,
    And one clear call for me!
    And may there be no moaning of the bar,
    When I put out to sea,

    But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
    Too full for sound and foam,
    When that which drew from out the boundless deep
    Turns again home.

    Twilight and evening bell,
    And after that the dark!
    And may there be no sadness of farewell,
    When I embark;

    For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
    The flood may bear me far,
    I hope to see my Pilot face to face
    When I have crost the bar.

The opening lines of this poem always moved me, and while I tend to prefer just using Shakespeare’s material, coming home one wintry evening, I kept thinking, “Sunset and evening star/and one clear call for me!” Took some digging, but I got it right, I hope. Apologies for typos.

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 3.12.2015

PiscesPisces: I grew up in metropolitan Texas. Not a single location, but essentially, variations on a theme. In this context, there’s a strong “Southern” influence, along with definite “Western” trappings. Part of my education included a brief time in New England. Up there, a waterproof and heavily insulated boot-style was quite popular. Owing to my more southerly, sun-belt (ish) roots, I find the very concept of waterproof footwear repugnant, leading to images of rotting flesh. While environmental factors weigh heavily as influences, to this day, I still shake my head in dismay at the insulated, rubber-coated New England-style winter footwear. While watching a fishing show on the outdoor TV channel, me and a buddy, I remarked that I didn’t understand such footwear. He explained to me, in West Texas, in the darkest part of the winter, during duck season, such footwear was acceptable.

Winter sports, I don’t understand. I prefer to stay in warmer climates. So far, that’s worked for me. As a Pisces? With the way things are? Stick with places where you don’t have to wear heavy, waterproof boots. Unless, you know, you like that kind of place. With the pile of planets in Aries? Aim for comfort, more than anything else.

Aries: Amplified music. What this is all about. I once had this idea, it was after poking around in a store at the mall. I want a Marshall Stack, guitar amp, you know, as an auxiliary speaker for, like, a portable digital music player. Crank it up?

It was more an idea rather than something that I’m willing to follow up on, but still. As an idea, it would have merit. The problem is finding a stack of amplifiers, but then, prowl enough pawn shops in Austin, the putative, self-asserted “Live Music Capital” of the world? Poke through enough pawn shops, used to be one on South Lamar, specialized in band equipment. Guitars, basses, drum sets, and amplifiers. Such a place might be a source for just that kind of a piece of equipment. The problem I now face, knowing where to get the amplifier, is getting one — then using it. It would be fun for a loud and raucous pool-party, but then, I neither host nor engage in such activities. The closest use I would have for such a gadget? I could use it as a backdrop display item in an office. Doubt it would ever see real use.

As an Aries, the original dictum for this week was “amplified music,” and my first thought was a Marshall Stack, and my second thought, for Aries consideration? Should you bother with another purchase? I did, but I’m not always the best example.

Taurus: “Don’t quit your day job — not yet.”

Guy came to me for a reading, some time back. Wanted to quit his day job and pursue a career as Fishing Guide. Had a boat, was finishing up his Coast Guard license, all his legal stuff was in a row, like it was supposed to be. He was sure he’d make it big. Started an LLC, spun up a web page, got some business cards printed. Asked for my advice on timing.

“Don’t quit your day job — not yet.”

He didn’t follow my advice, did quit his day job, and in less than three months, he was back, begging for his old boss to hire my buddy back, as the Fishing Guide business is sporadic, clients aren’t exactly dependable, and it takes a while to establish a reputation. As part-time gig, for the next few months, my buddy can be busy as need be, but this is seasonal work, right now.

I thought about him, and I thought about Taurus, this week. Simple rejoinder, as advice?

“Don’t quit your day job — not yet.”

Gemini: I was at a buddy’s place, watching his cable TV. Outdoor channel, ad said, “Best fishing gear on Television!” A while back I used a couple of spools of rather expensive fishing line because one of the “pro anglers” had that brand’s name stitched on his shirts, emblazoned across the boat. Claimed it was technically better than any other fishing line. Cost a bunch more, too. On one crappie rod, with a certain reel, yes, it was a good choice, but the rest of the time? Not so much. Not really worth the extra price, not to me. Has to do with the way it felt, responses, and tensile strength, advertised versus actual fishing.

The deal with that advertising, the original tag line? “Best fishing gear on Television!” It may be the best on TV, but does it work in the real world? Or, in my terms, does that fishing line work in the reel world? Just because it’s the best on TV, does that mean it is the best choice for Gemini?

“Best fishing gear on Television!” But in the Gemini world?

Cancer: A Cancer client was buying me breakfast one morning, sorting through details about all this Aries stuff, plus the usual “Moon Material,” as it affects the Cancer. Waitress came over, looked at me and the woman I was with, asked about our orders, and I answered with a thoroughly macho, “Just do what the man says, and it will be all right.”

Cancer girl rolled her eyes in a show of exasperation, the waitress gave me a pity-look, “Yeah, let me know how that works for you,” and I did have to amend, “It would be much better if I could deliver the line with a straight face.” Big grin.

Cancer was still a little exasperated with me. I’m trying to be funny, but make a point. It has to do with folks who perceive that they have a position of authority, based on rank, caste, or gender. As the Cancer Moon-Child? You know what’s best, and it’s probably not the authority figure. Just don’t tell us. Go ahead and order — or whatever — but maybe humor that authority figure.

“Of course you’re in charge, honey, of course you are.”

Snicker.

The (mighty) Leo: A circle is conventionally divided into 360 degrees. For my astrology signs, each one gets 30 degrees, although, yes, The Leo should get more, but for equal exposure, each sign is the same number of degrees. The strength in Leo, though, varies by just a few degrees. The easiest way to describe it? Fifteen degrees, or less. Just a few degrees off center. Just a little to the left, or the right, but not straight ahead. Veer a little to one side — or another.

The stated Leo goal appears to be straightforward, and the way to get that? Veer a little. Change course, just a little to one side or another. Small shift. Big results, even a breakthrough. Veer. Just a few degrees.

Virgo: Thought about an old expression, zen attributed, but I’m unsure about that. As I toyed the Virgo chart, spinning and twisting, I kept returning to that comment. Quote. Zen koan?

“Meditate for 20 minutes every day. If you can’t meditate for 20 minutes? Meditate for an hour.”

Yeah, there is the little catch. The way the planets play out? It’s about patience. Virgo patience is even more at a premium. That’s why the little zen riddle — it helps to pause and reconsider. On more than one occasion, in Virgo readings, I’ve suggested that the Virgo brain stop thinking. No paralysis by analysis. But with this week’s stars thusly arrayed? Pause. If you can’t pause? Pause longer.

You know why I suggest that, right?

Libra: Buddy of mine is a “super salesman.” He shows up and I Scorpio: What I’ve been told, look this up on the internets, the lifespan of the average promotional T-Shirt is 7 years. One quarter turn of Saturn’s orbit. The average shirt lasts that long. I’ve dated women who aren’t as old as some of my t-shirts. Not really, but it could happen. I’ve got a couple of t-shirts I’m totally unwilling to part with, due to sentimental value. There’s something symbolic about the promotional t-shirt, too. The experience, the experience of getting the shirt, the event commemorated, all feeds into the meaning behind the shirt. However, as the planets roll along a predictable pattern, there’s a Scorpio suggestion that it’s time to consider tossing that old t-shirt out. If it’s more than 7 years old? That’s outlasted its perceived value. Time to think about tossing it.

Maybe it’s not a concert Tee from a time when might be best if forgotten, but there’s something, needs to be tossed and forgotten. As if a Scorpio ever forgets.

Sagittarius: The Saturn Motel. I believe, the image I received, it was from a defunct motel on Florida’s “Space Coast,” the old NASA places. What was funnier, in this one image, there was a “No Outlet” sign, next to the defunct, dilapidated aforementioned Saturn Motel. As a Sagittarius, myself, I know, there is NO WAY OUT of the Saturn situation. Get over it, get used to it, get comfortable with slightly less than before.

There’s an ease in the forward momentum that seems to be gathering, and it’s like a fishing boat, we’ve been speeding across the smooth water, and as I ease off the throttle, the boat seems to ride up on its own crest as the wake catches us. Pitches the boat forward, and seems like we’re slowing in a hurry. For me, as either pilot or passenger, I know this is coming and just stay seated, plus I hold on. As a Sagittarius, with the plethora of planets in Aries, combined with Venus moving and Pisces Sun? There is no outlet, but like the boat slowing down? Just slow down, and hold on. Stay seated until we come to stop.

Capricorn: Buddy of mine adopted a stray mongrel pup. Poor dog was starved, and probably beaten, before the dog found true love with my buddy. Someplace on one of my sites, there’s a picture of a dog in the driver’s seat of a truck. Guard dog, now, waiting on the boss man to come home. Best car alarm ever. Dog’s friendly with me, but loves his master. Dog has a way of testing anything on the floor: he eats it. If he throws it up, or it doesn’t taste good to the dog? He might re-eat it, but that’s less likely these days. Dog’s gotten pampered and is less willing to eat just anything. Still, the dog’s method has merit. Try it. If it makes you sick? Don’t do it again.

I’m not saying that some of Capricorn friends are hard-headed, but at least one of them is trying the dog method, and that’s not always pretty.

Aquarius: Funny, to me, and I’ve seen this more than once, anyway, the amusing part of watching one them go until a face plant. It’s about not stopping — and resting — in a prudent fashion. Going until you drop? Sure, it’s funny. Because I train, specifically train for long days at work, I can do this. I make it look easy, but I’ve trained for it.

What I’m suggesting, for Aquarius? Build in a rest. On a recent fishing trip, on the way back, driving in from the coast, I pulled into gas station and got a cup of nasty, “gas station coffee.” Hot, burnt, black. I swigged it down, pulled into a rest area, reclined the seat, dozed off for about 15 minutes, and then? I was awake, alert, clear to safely navigate home.

My trick? Coffee and a short nap. Or meditation, as that is what I sometimes call it.

Pull over, nap, rest, pause before you fall over. Or before you fall asleep at the wheel.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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