Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 11.19.2015

    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre."
    (It is magnificent, but it is not war.)
    French Marshal Pierre Bosquet about the Charge of the Light Brigade

The part usually left off?

    "C'est de la folie"
    (It is madness.)

Standing in Scorpio, with the sun eventually headed into Sagittarius, and the current political climate? The last comment is best, in translation, "It is madness."

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 11.19.2015

SagittariusSagittarius: It’s too bad that sometimes I can’t source my quotes. I know I picked up some place, but I’m unsure of the exact location. So sad. It works and it works well for Sagittarius, for this next few days.

“It’s madness.”

That’s all. There’s a chance of a heroic charge against unsurmountable odds. More than one Sagittarius will take that as a challenge, and we will fail, miserably, wholly, and completely, but we will fail with honor, glory, and looking a little stupid. We’re good at that, aren’t we? Old redneck joke, when Bubba hollers, “Hey, watch me do this?” That’s when we should duck.

Same applies to to those early Sagittarius, born in November. At least most of us will be feeling the impact of Saturn, the Sun, Mercury, all of that? Plus the moon in fast pass? We are tempted to tempt fate. Not a good idea. “It’s madness.”

“Hey, watch me do this!”

“It’s madness.”


Venus squares Pluto. What says your captain to that? It was an early November morning, and I was sitting in a taco dive in South San Antonio, English wasn’t the most common language. Might’ve been, but they hid it well. Coffee was hot and industrial, food was plentiful and cheap. Spanish, border patois, and Mexican English were all being battered about. The sound system moaned, probably a satellite link, and The Clash’s “Rock the Casbah” cycled up.

There’s a strange connection with that song, other than a hit from long ago, it has an accompanying video that was shot in Old Austin. Armadillo, oil well, jet from the old Bergstrom Air Force Base, closed many years ago? Yes, all of that, plus there’s an iconic Austin landmark, a certain sign, visible in the background at one point in the series of musical montages.

It’s old, it’s new, and with that tension angle? Some of this out of place. Catches how you feel right now. It’s old and new, and some things, just seem a little out of place.


The very best “hold” music, was, back in the day, when companies could be a little more edgy and customer rights weren’t such a contentious battleground? The best was a comic who asked the question, “Are you on hold? Or is someone listening?” Funny, to me, and funny, at the time. The last hold music I had to listen to, it was silly customer service problem, and I was toying with the Aquarius chart, so I wasn’t too concerned that I was waiting for a “Customer service rep” to answer my question. Simple question, why was there no internet at my office? The first time was stupid, “If you can just log onto our website, we can get this fixed faster.” That was the problem, no web access.

This time, the hold music was close to a variation on EDM, Electronic Dance Music. Not quite up to the right number of beats-per-minute, but close enough to be catchy and uplifting without too much annoyance. I’m sure there’s a science to hold music. I still liked the old days when a company would run with something a little more edgy.

In the next few days, the planets line up to give you the annoyance factor of stupid hold music, in some guise. How you choose to react to it, is what is so important. I was courteous, and we all had laugh when I explained I couldn’t log onto the internet to fix the problem.

“See?” I asked.

“Oh, I get it now, let me see what I can do,” the tech replied. You’re reading this, so it did get fixed, despite their best efforts.


One of the most irritating aspects of eating fresh, local crab meat? I detest the effort required to get to the good stuff. Cracking the shell, digging around for tiny, tasty morsels? More effort than required for a decent meal. Crawfish are much the same, but I’m more experienced at those little mud bugs. No, regular crab meat is almost too hard to get to for my tastes.

Effort versus reward.

At one place, the menu item was “crab fingers,” and while I’ve enjoyed “pig’s wings,” crab fingers was a new for me. Maybe this is a delicacy elsewhere, but I’ve never encountered it before. It was local (Gulf) Blue Crab, fresh, with the crab claw intact and the fresh meat exposed as a single, long muscle, with that painful shell, peeled off. Crab fingers? Sure. Like chicken fingers or steak tenders, but with local, fresh crab. It’s a better idea on local food sources, perhaps odd, but perfectly acceptable. Think about something a little different, perhaps the same, but slightly off-center presentation. See if that doesn’t help move the Pisces ideas ahead. The same, only different. Like Crab Fingers.


Cold Pizza, day old? To me, this is one of the most perfect foods. It’s not wasted, and it’s delightful, even a few days old. As I’ve aged, along with the pizza, I’ve discovered I like the stuff stored in the ice box rather than just left out on the coffee table, but the idea is similar. This is a week for old, cold pizza. I realize that the idea might not be translating directly across, so here’s the astrology: Mars and Venus, in Libra, opposite from Aries. Problem? Hunger. Solution? Cold, leftover pizza. It’s not pretty. It serves a purpose, two, really. 1. It’s food. 2. It’s using up an available resource. Everyone else is concerned with up and coming feasts and various holiday celebrations. Not what Aries is worried about. Well, I’m sure you are concerned, but in the time in between? Cold pizza. Leftover, cold pizza, or some cultural equivalent. Works wonders to make your life better.

Cultural equivalency? I’m unsure about what else works, but I’m sure there’s something that translates to Aries, even now.


I looked at one girlfriend, and I asked her, “If you could change one thing about yourself, wish, what would it be?” Her answer? “I’d like to be taller.” Probably speaks to 4-inch stiletto heels, and probably, never mind the rest of that thought. The deal is, there is one change, maybe not a big change, but a single, easy to accomplish Taurus change. Something you want to do. Something that can be done. Easy as can be.

Easy for Sagittarius, like myself and easy for Taurus, like yourself, though there are varying degrees of ease. I’m probably lot lazier than an average Taurus, and if you’re reading this, then you’re certainly not an average Taurus. Still, there’s a relative amount of ease, and all I’m urging is a simple, easy to effect, change that moves your Taurus self forward. Simple change. One positive step in the direction that you want to go, some action that takes you one step closer to realizing a goal.


Dig into the heart of the matter. Try something, that for Gemini, will be quite uncharacteristic: dig into one topic. Dig into one issue. Grasp and grapple with one, a single, just one, question. Issue, matter, item, action, one. Just one. I know, Gemini sign of the twins, two of everything, always better than one, and so on. Yes, I know, which, if you know me, is one of the reasons I adore my Gemini friends so much. Yes, all true, But this week? Dig in on one item. One issue. One thing. Not even “One thing at a time,” no, just one. A single issue requires your attention. Pay attrition to that one item. This is a function of Mercury making you curious about motivations, and then, combined with Saturn and the Sagittarius Sun? Focus on one. Just one. No more.

There’s a singleness of purpose that arises from this kind of planetary arrangement, and as the usually airy Gemini? This kind of alignment suggests a singleness of purpose. Stick to one goal. One task, one job, just one item. There’s a reward in this, like, getting that one onerous task completed and put behind you, once and for all. In order to win this week? Stick to one one task.


Cancer Sun Sign or Cancer Moon Sign? Look for emotional motivation in the other person. In a typical romantic relationship, this is an easy path to navigate, as your emotional parts are just trying to learn what motivates your partner. I’m a reasonably typical male, so that much is easy: sex or money. Only two motivating factors. Well, there’s fishing and education, but those are closely allied with money, so there is that.

The (mighty) Leo:

The weekend before Thanksgiving week? This weekend? It’s time for staging. It’s time for holiday prep, but slightly different, just planning for execution. Not “pulling the trigger,” as some would say.

“Staging,” in my mind is, for the majestic Leo? This refers to the idea, I’ve got one buddy, he has a metric ton of Xmas decorations. Move those out of the attic, and down to the garage. That’s lights, light-holders, timers, strings and strands, electrical pyrotechnics, sleigh, Santa, wreaths, candles, just all kinds of Xmas crap. I’m unsure if the holiday is about the winter solstice or my buddy, if he can get on the news with his outlandish display.

Here’s what this week is about: staging. Get that stuff ready. I’m of the belief that there should be no Xmas material until after Thanksgiving, which also precludes Black Friday. Got that? The majestic Leo is staging at this moment. No Xmas crap yet, but like my buddy? Move that stuff from the “attic” to the “garage,” however that plays for you.


First cold day of the year, and I pulled on my “fat” jeans. I was marginally happy because the “fat” jeans seemed a little less snug than before. Been most near a year since I wore these, so that was good to know, a little less snug, means I could go the size down from the “fat” size. I’ve got a wide variety of jeans, from ragged to stylishly ragged to plain work jeans, to “fancy dress” jeans. And these all come in several sizes, because, over the years, my weight has varied. So I was happy when the fat jeans fit. I don’t think I’ve worn anything but ill-fitting shorts since last year. It’s well into our cold season, so long pants might be a good idea, now.

As a Virgo, you’ve got three sizes of outwear available, small, medium, and large. Like me, I’d suggest, for the first time, go ahead and try the “large.” Maybe even an XL works well. Whatever it is, try the “fat jeans,” first.

Loose fitting “fat” clothes are better than tight-fitting sizes that might still be too small. Can blame me, can blame Jupiter, maybe Mars or Venus, but we all know what the real culprit is. Go for the slightly larger size that is more comfortable, as this pre-holiday weekend arrives, what’s most important? Physical comfort. We’ll work on emotional comfort at a later date, promise.


Dig back through some of my fishing archives and there’s an oblique reference to a certain kind of bait. It’s a live bait, little tiny “pin” fish. Very much like sun fish in local lakes. The “pin” fish are so named, so I’ve been assured, for the sharp spines that make up the dorsal fin. I was handling on the little fish as bait, and I got a tiny dorsal spin buried in my palm. Not a big deal, just wiped away the blood and kept fishing. A few days later, the pinprick seemed infected, so I dug in with a pocket knife to do “surgery.”

Eventually, I extracted a tiny spine, and looking closely, I cold see that the flesh of the spine was gone. All that remained was a bone-like cartilage that had tiny hooks in it. Evolution, be my first guess. No wonder the spine had lodged just like the head of a tiny harpoon, it was designed to do that, what with its little barbs. Nature, at her finest, protecting herself from predators like me. The point is, some days? The fish wins. There are times when even the bait wins the battle. I’m not exactly sure how to score this one, as I did catch fish and I was fishing, and anything else is moot, to me. As a Libra, though, which part of this equation is most important? As Mars and Venus arc through your quadrants, the question is win or loss? Or is it the same? In my case, I was thinking, I just made a small sacrifice to the fishing gods in order to have a good day, and that small gesture on my part, the effects lasted a few days. Although Venus makes nice, Mars might demand a small blood sacrifice.


Ever considered just coasting along? Ever consider just putting a great big “Pause” on it all, and letting the chips fall where they may, without exerting any Scorpio influence at all? Just coasting along, letting the chips fall where they may?

There’s a tandem weird influence and one you can make use of, but the easiest way to do this? Do nothing.

The inaction on the part of a Scorpio is sometimes hard to grasp, much less put into action, but as an idea, it has merit. As an idea, it’s got hope and potential. As a course of action for this week? This concept has merit, the idea that, as a Scorpio, just let this one ride. The pieces have all been set in motion, the game’s afoot, the players have all been called and cued. The trick? Let this unfold the way it is supposed to while, for all appearances, you’re on the side, just watching, a casual, non-involved observer.


Just coast along.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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