Horoscopes starting 4.28.2016

    Thou wert better in a grave than to answer with thy uncover’d body this extremity of the skies. Is man no more than this? Consider him well. Thou ow’st the worm no silk, the beast no hide, the sheep no wool, the cat no perfume. Ha? Here’s three on ’s are sophisticated. Thou art the thing itself: unaccommodated man is no more but such a poor, bare, fork’d animal as thou art. Off, off, you lendings! Come, unbutton here.
    King Lear in Shakespeare’s
    Tragedy of King Lear (3.4.60)

What better way to launch a Retrograde Mercury in an errant orbit?

Horoscopes starting 4.28.2016



The Bull

Hope you have a happy Taurus birthday. This phase of the moon is fraught with peril; however, with my assistance, I’ll suggest you can find a way to carefully navigate through these dire straits. Using such a tragic play like Shakespeare’s King Lear is touchy, at best, because it is a real tragedy, as a great man falls by his own pride.

Lesson learned.

Always a painful play for me to watch, as the great character makes every misstep there is, and when he could do something correctly? Nope, just stubbornly sticks to his own, misguided ideals. Here’s the birthday deal, for Taurus. Don’t be a King Lear-like tragic figure on your birthday. The retrograde patterns of Mars and Mercury suggest a change in directions. Be willing to at least look at a different solution to the same problem you’ve been having. Look at a different solution. Look differently. Look at the problem from a different Taurus perspective and see what happens.


Yuck. It’s that time, again. Can’t say this one snuck up on you, either. You had plenty of advance warning. The real issue with this particular Mercury in Retrograde, this singular synodic period?

This occurs in the Gemini “Solar 12th House,” and as such? It’s scary. It’s Gemini nightmares, dreams, and night terrors, all at once. It’s the Gemini brain thinking that no good will come of this, and this will end badly, and then, there’s just no hope at all, and all is lost. Have I caught a certain picture, painted some words that tap into some of the Gemini fears at this very moment? Good. Got you running scared? Good. Good you properly frightened? Good.

There’s nothing to be afraid of. To be sure, a certain dose of fear, or fear-based beliefs is good to prevent certain body harm, but that doesn’t mean it has to rule the day. I wrote and collected a shirt primer on these times, “The Portable Mercury Retrograde,” and this is perfect for time like this. Skim through the text again. This isn;t a nightmare scenario, it’s merely a review. Might appear to be a review of fears, deceits, and past blunders, but it’s merely fears that are prudent guides to keep our Gemini selves from making that mistake again.


I did a class, more like a lecture, a few months back, and it was bloody well brilliant. Totally off-the-cuff, spur of the moment, one of those, “Our three o’clock hasn’t showed, can you fill in?”

I’ve been reading, writing, and teaching astrology for long enough that I can fill in with no problem. Due to the success of that one talk, I just assumed I cold do it again, so the next lecture slot I filled, I was totally unprepared. I bombed. Miserably. Stammered, stuttered, hemmed and hawed through the material.

The warning for my Cancer Moon Children? “I’m sure I got this one?” When you find yourself using that expression, like I did a few weeks back? When you find yourself full of false confidence? Might be a time to reverse and at least look through the notes, brush up on the material. “Just winging it?” Doesn’t work, given the retrogrades.

The Leo:

Puttering. Piddling, puttering, philandering, piously putting-off? It’s matter of avoiding the work that is directly in front of the Leo. directly in your path, right in front of your majestical presence, that one thing, that task, a singular objective, it’s right there. Instead of dealing with the relatively unpleasant task, most of the mighty Leo types are piddling. Putzing around, avoiding that singular task, right there, right in front of you. Here’s the idea, I know Mercury is in his retrograde pattern, you know now know Mercury is doing this, too, so let’s tackle that onerous task. Let’s pitch in a get the job done. It won’t be totally finished, but we’ll get far enough along so we don’t have to deal with crap for a few more weeks. Putting it off is, indeed, putting off the inevitable. Just because you don’t want to do it? Doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to get done. No, seriously, there are two ways to see this: bad or good. Given that Mercury is backwards now? Given that Mars is also retrograde in Sagittarius, and that Mercury is in Taurus, in such a matter as to make this appear uncomfortable? Just getting the task started, bad that the start might be? Just getting a first draft, a first stab, a single attack point on the problem? Getting is going is more than half the battle, it’s almost the whole thing. Think: this is just a first draft, a rough pass at getting this thing done. Won’t kill you, and the next time? It will be much, much easier. Might even be enjoyable, then. Running start. Well, walking start. OK, majestic and regal approach.


My basic premise is that I’m a tourist in my own, home town. Not so much a home town, as a place I’ve lived for the past decade, or close to that, anyway. Still, I maintain that I’m tourist, with a tourist-like sense adventure, and the usual, “Where does this road go?” Questions, not answers. As a good Virgo, you want answers and given where things (planets and the Sun) are? There are no answers, no definitive, definite, “This is the way it will be” answers. Instead, adopt my tourist-like mindset. Much easier that way. I’ve been in and around this town most of my adult life, and certainly for the greater portion of my professional careers, yes, not like I’m a total stranger to this place.

But I have a wandering, wondering tourist eye. Sense of amusement at the smallest of events and items that present themselves. I enjoy playing slightly coy, and going, “I’m not from around here.” Works for me. Now, let’s apply this to Mercury in Retrograde in Taurus, along with backwards moving Mars, currently in Sagittarius. Your Virgo self might say, “But I live here!” Instead of that, assume that your tourist, and everything is new, and when you ask directions, get all the details. Play tourist this week. Makes it ever so much more enjoyable for you and for them. Play tourist.

“Me? I’m not really from around here.”


Over the years, I’ve worked with and occasionally dated, a number of editors. I miss one editor, as my opening quotes would give her fits. She would have to look it up in a “Complete Works of Shakespeare” book. In the past two-dozen years, I’ve had only two times that I can think of, when my quotes were out of order. I misplaced the letter “I” in a King Henry play, turning Henry IV to Henry VI. Honest mistake, called short for it, online, in no uncertain terms.

Then, too, there’s the idea that my prose doesn’t parse like normal folks. Which is true, as there’s a definite twang to my accent and I hear it when I write. The relationship between editor and author is very intimate. Turning in a manuscript can be like laying my soul bare. “Here, take my heart in your hands. It’s my baby, please be gentle.” Etc.

There’s a raw tugging at the Libra heartstrings, and it’s as if you’re experiencing the same feeling I get as I turn in a manuscript. Here’s the trick: let the editor do his or her job. Spelling, punctuation, obvious fact-checking? Let the person assigned to the task handle the task. If that’s your job? Great! If this is someone else’s assignment? Let them do what they are supposed to do.


As Mercury unwinds in the sign opposite from Scorpio?


“Uphill battles,” and, of course, “fights that can’t be won.” None of which would deter a good Scorpio. I’m not trying to deter a good Scorpio from a battle that needs to be fought, but I’m also trying to steer away from terms that suggest this is fight.

“I’m Scorpio; this isn’t a fight, it’s fight to the death,” mutters at least one Scorpio buddy. Again, turning this kind of battle into a heated fray.

With Mercury retrograde opposite Scorpio, this is a good time to take the other option. Wait and see. “There’s a time limit on this action, I have to act before Mercury goes un-retrograde!”

Consider, too, that actions taken now? Might have to be repeated. Ask your Scorpio self, is this something that has to resolved right now? Can it wait?


There’s usually one, just a simple point, maybe it’s one of those issues, what I always dread hearing? “It’s the principle!” That’s a sign that this will be a problem, and between Mars and Mercury, both Retrograde? There will be trouble, and that’s where I can usually help. The rules for this game are simple, when you hear the expression, “It’s the principle?” That’s the clue — make believe this is a drinking game, every time we utter that expression? It’s up to us to move beyond the problem. “But it’s the principle!”

Take a shot. At this rate, we’ll be far too intoxicated to care about the stupid principle.

Might not work, but as a starting point, realize the futility of saying, “It’s the principle!”

“But Kramer, astrology be damned, It’s the principle!

Like I suggested?


Ever thought about “Sensitivity Training?” I’ve been self-employed for so long, I don’t know how that would work for me. But there are plenty of corporate type Capricorn friends who would benefit from this kind of touchy-feely “class,” or seminar, or training, or whatever it is called these days. Just an eye-opener. It’s about rephrasing and reframing the content of the Capricorn mind, then, about how that is communicated. “Sensitivity Training” was the term that came to mind, and while that might not be the most politically correct expression, it’s the idea. Stop and pause, and wonder how we all frame expressions. Previously, I was often accused of attacking Capricorn. It’s a matter of how we frame the question or comment. Sensitivity training.

Think of it like this, when you hear me say, “No, really, some of my best friends are Capricorn.”

See how that sounds?


“Might want to take the belt off,” security guy joked with me, “you know those guys from Austin….” It was a metal detector at the courthouse, and a few of the guys know me. I was in my summer finest, with briefcase for some papers and lap top. Shoulder bag gets tossed on the belt, and I waltz through, sandals and my belt still intact. The belt goes way back to the good, old days, when the airport security was more lax. In Texas, we could carry “hunting knives” the size of a roman broadsword. Rather than opt for belt buckle the size of a license plate, I went for smaller, polished silver piece that handily went through even the more stringent of airport systems. So the courthouse security was no big deal. Besides, I’m NOT an attorney. This is preplanning and preparing, well in advance. I started to wear to that belt buckle because I know it can easily get through metal detectors.

Divine Roman Empire Historical Short Sword


The creek behind me, one place I lived, the creek was a simple stream, most of the time. Turns out it was part of the original native — then Spanish — acequias, with more modern components installed at either end. But to me, it was a creek. Still eddies, willows arching over the pools creating a shaded environment, with calm, lurking bottom-feeders, used to be a big carp, but these days? Variations on the Tilapia family, I’m pretty sure.

Still, almost motionless, at the bottom of the pool. Waiting for the flow to bring something to them. Look: Mars is backwards and creating friction for Pisces. Likewise, normally immune to Mercury Retrograde? This one is exacerbated by Mars in Sagittarius, but the idea is to imitate the action of the old bottom feeders — sit. Stand? I don’t know, almost motionless, and let the food, let the detritus of life, the flotsam and jetsam? Let it flow towards you. No hunting, no chasing, no pursuing, not now. Maybe move your little side-fins enough to keep you in one place if there is ruffle on the water, but pause, let the food source come to you. Or whatever it is that you’re waiting on, let it flow towards you.


Pay attention to details. It’s the simplest of details that give away important facts. Pay attention to details. I was meeting a client for the first time, male, bit younger than me, and that was all I knew. He walked into the coffee shop, and I knew it was him. First, he’d seen my image in the websites, and second, he smiled, grinned and strode over. I had a chart in front of me, but I’d didn’t have much else to work from, but some of his details gave him away, immediately.

While he wasn’t dressed in a uniform, he was neatly attired, with everything lined up, and “dressed,” in the military sense. My immediate reaction, I’m very military–friendly, was he did at least 8 years as career, best guess was officer. U.S. Army. 16 years, and I was short, but he mustered out as a high-ranking NCO.

Astrology charts have career clues, but in this case, it was simple observation. Pay attention to details. Might’ve been the shined shoes, the dress line with shirt buttons, pants, belt all lined up and the phone holster, dressed, clipped in place. Screamed “military,” and the focus was future choices. With the planets truly arrayed? Explore options, explore options away from the structured hierarchy of the Aries life. And pay attention details.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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