Horoscopes starting 3.2.2017

    When a man’s verses cannot be understood, nor a man’s good wit seconded with the forward child, understanding, it strikes a man more dead than a great reckoning in a little room. Truly, I would the gods had made thee poetical.
    Touchstone in Shakespeare’s As You Like It, III.i.5

Venus turns retrograde, visible close to the horns of the moon, just after sunset. Venus will be in apparent retrograde motion from March 4 (13 Aries) to April 15 (26 Pisces).

Horoscopes starting 3.2.2017



The Fishes

This week starts with confusion, “When a man’s verses cannot be understood,” and finishes, for Pisces, with clarity, focus, and direction. Herein is the challenge, to muddle your Piscean way through this next few days in order to gain the clarity and insight that the day after offers. I’m a big fan of making an attempt at “Living in the present,” so, following that dictum, the best use of the next few days is contemplation and pause. Pause a moment before speaking. In my case, when I do pause before speaking, I tend to look a little like a space cadet. “Did you do a lot of drugs in the 60’s?” That’s not part of this question. I wasn’t old enough to do drugs in the 60’s, but never mind that now, this isn’t about me, it’s about a spacey Pisces. Happy birthday. Realize that a well-timed pause might serve better, particularly in the next few days, much better than jumping right in with both feet. Leave that to me, the “Feet in the mouth” syndrome. Face it, I’m much better at that than you.



The Ram

“Hello? Aries? This is your subconscious speaking, trying to get through to you.” That’s the message, over the next few weeks, and it’s only going to get weirder from here. Either you listen and pay attention, or you don’t. I have, on file, exactly two charts of people who will do quite well, because, in the natal chart, Venus is Retrograde, just like now. Good times for those two. Other than that? How to best make us of this energy?

“Hello, it’s me, the Land of Nod, reaching out to Aries. You there, yet?”

More important, as an Aries, are you listening? What’s most important, though, as a consideration, is that the thoughts, dream, memories, and whatever else pops up under the Aries skull-cap? Whatever springs forth might not be real. Might be. Might not be. This is about the subconscious and one of the worst situation is getting set on just one way of interpreting those images that issue from the Aries mind. It’s that other part of the brain, or the subconscious, or, in one example, buried genetic memories that stretch for eons. Make note of what the subconscious is saying, what the ancestors are directing you to do, how your dreams are communicating with you. However, just as a very specific caution, except for those two? The rest of the Aries clan would be best served as remembering this is all highly allegorical. Metaphorical. Even archetypical. But not literal.




The Bull

Taurus is both a fixed sign and an earth sign. Taurus is also associated with the planet Venus. As Venus begins, in the next three days, to turn into an apparent backward motion, now is the time to realize the strengths — and potential pitfalls — of that Taurus bull-like stubborn attitude. It’s not a time to stick to your stance, assiduously refusing to move. Not the time to make a stand. Not the time to say, “This is the line, cross it or else!” To me, Taurus always represent strength and stability. That stability is being questioned, even now. From history, I’m sure it is perfectly all right to question authority. Therein is the clue for what works for this week’s Taurus missive. Question authority. I didn’t suggest a rebellion, just a gentle questioning. I like “Stubborn.” “Stubborn” doesn’t change with the whims of the weather. “Stubborn” doesn’t switch sides, or run away in the face of danger. However, with this Venus-Inspired event? Question authority.



The Twins

The next few days, okay, maybe the next week, this isn’t going to go smoothly. I know how much you’d like this to go smoothly, but no, I can’t see that happening. There’s a little too much tension in the Gemini chart, and then, with what’s going on as Venus stations, then proceeds to move in a disorderly direction? There’s more tension, just exacerbating the current situations. Venus is much more than just the “Planet of Love,” and herein is the problem for Gemini. These problems are going to start rolling in, one at a time. The cure, if there is such a thing, for real, the cure is to stop what you’re doing, at the moment the problem pops up, and right then, right there, stop, and address the problem. Me? I carry band-aids in my carry-on luggage, just for this problem. I’ve got a small “first aid kit” that’s nothing more than an odd collection of stuff. Lip balm, chapstick, aspirin, other analgesics, a handful of antihistamines, the aforementioned band-aids, some eye drops, perhaps an antacid. Never can tell what I’ve got, as this material collects over years. While none of this is a big deal, a little collection of over-the-counter meds that might serve as a temporary solution, a band-aid type of solution. A temporary fix. Stop when the first problem stars, and grab the Gemini first-aid kit, and apply what is necessary to pause the trauma. Can’t fix it all, but as a starting point? That’s a good enough effort this week.



The Crab

There’s one task you’ve been putting off. I know, I’m not one who can really lecture about this, not to be truthful. I’m of the school of thought, “If I don’t do it now, maybe someone else will do it, and I can completely avoid the task.” Sure, it works, well, not really, but I’ve gotten away with it long enough to say that it works. However, I’m preaching, maybe not real willing to practice what I preach, but I’m preaching to Cancer, the lovely Moon Child, that the work must be done now. Not only must the work be done now, but it must be done by Cancer. No one else has the skill set, aptitude, or ability, or, more important? No one else is in the correct position. Up to you, but this is a task that is — look at the unfolding Venus thing — that is likely going to get repeated, over and over, until they get it right. The hassle? It’s up to Cancer to repeat the process, the job at hand, the task, the goal? It’s up to Cancer to repeat this process until the lesson is learned.

Me? I’d avoid all of it, but I’m not a Cardinal Water Sign with a heavy carapace. Use them crab claws and grab that task. Get it started. Make progress. Check one item off your list.

The Leo:

The Leo

The Leo

One Leo has the lightest touch with a bass pole. When he’s bass fishing, light line, highly sensitive pole tip, the faintest of attraction action from a fish, usually, again, this applies to bass fishing, the slightest hint, and he’s on it. Which is most amusing, to me, to watch, because otherwise? My Leo buddy, he’s anything but delicate and shy. “Bigger hammer” kind of a guy. If there’s a problem that can’t be fixed with the current set of tools, obviously, then, this requires a bigger hammer.

My mighty Leo friends like to crush it, you know. So this week? Like my buddy’s touch with a bass fishing pole, like his rough exterior that belies a delicate sense? As the mightiest of the signs, what is required, more than anything else, dig deep, Leo, dig deep, there’s that sensitive, delicate sensibilities that are required. That fishing touch, just an example, the lightest, tiniest hint of a nibble, like the fish know better, and my buddy? He hauls them in.



The Virgin

Write down the Virgo goals. It’s really a simple way to approach what’s happening, the energies loose at this moment. Write down the goals. Pen to paper, no seriously, not a digital version, a pen and paper, or, in my example, maybe a sharpie, and paper, or pencil and paper, or a page from notebook that’s gone unused, but the idea is the same, write down a goal. Or all the Virgo goals.

Physical act.

I tend to buy a few grocery items at a time, so I can have fresh (from the store) rather than canned goods that sit on shelves for years. So I will have a post-it note stuck on the outside of my wallet or phone, with a few items I need to get. As long as I have that hand-lettered, on a piece of paper list, I’m good. I’ll get everything that I want or need. If it doesn’t get written down? I’ll forget it.

There’s a connection between what the hand does, and then committing that to a written missive of one kind or another? That translates into extra brain activity that does something, and I’m unsure of the biological mechanics of the deal. The trick? “Write it down,” whatever that Virgo goal is, whatever is on that list. Based on the motion of certain planets? Writing it down, whatever the goal, list, or other duty, action, whatever it is?

Writing it down stands a better chance of translating that into a real, achieved goal.

Note the tense.



The Scales

One of the most powerful, indigenous, and curative herbs is garlic. Plain, ordinary garlic. Cures colds. Has a high antioxidant rating, builds strong bodies 12 ways. It’s a good herb. The problem with garlic, and why I have to be extra careful when I cook with it? I can easily overdo the amount. I was thinking about this, as a smoothie recipe surfaces, and it involved a whole clove of garlic, peeled, then shredded into the drink. While it would probably taste all right, and while it has health benefits too numerous to mention? Think about how that would appeal, raw garlic. It wouldn’t just stink right after swallowing the drink, that gets caught in teeth and throat, and then, over the next 24 hours? It comes out the pores, sweat itself redolent in that garlic sense, that garlic smell, that aromatic yet repulsive blend of garlic and other, well, basically, it’s garlic. Smells wonderful in a frying pan. Not a kiss-able desire, though.

The balance point, and I’m not a Libra, so I don’t have an answer, but the balance point is to remain Libra-like attractive while figuring a way to get that garlic. The smoothie recipe with nothing but a raw clove of garlic? Might not be the best way to take this week.

Although, it might be.



The Scorpio

Scorpio folks tend to love secrets, right? The better the secret, the juicier the tidbit, the more arcane and yet useful the information the better, right? And I love me my Scorpio buddies. Right? So here’s the big secret everyone has been keeping from Scorpio: there is no shortcut. The path to success is a long road. It’s got obstacles, challenges, and problems at every turn. There is no easy way to get to the top. There’s no secret elixir that makes for instant success, not for Scorpio. Not for anyone, really, but especially, not now, not for Scorpio. No instant success. Hard work, dedication, intestinal fortitude, more hard work, tireless dedication to the goals, and that how it’s done. No silver bullets, no magical formula, not incantation that makes it all work better, not right away. There’s a protracted, long, and involved direction that requires Scorpio attention. There’s no easy way to get from here to there. Anyone who promises you a quick, easy, cheap fix-all, cure, or other solution? Doesn’t exist.

So, in the next week, there will be someone with a promise, and we now know this is an empty promise, that there is a cure-all, fix-all, no effort required, kind of pitch coming at Scorpio. If someone promises a Scorpio an easy solution, and then the easy solution doesn’t work out?

Me? I never promised an easy way out, not for Scorpio, not for the week.

Scorpio: sorry, but there’s no substitute for hard work.

    Sexist joke time:

    A young female student approaches the professor, and the coed has her blouse strategically unbuttoned, displaying ample cleavage, “Oh professor, I’ll do anything to pass this class. Anything.”

    The professor glances down, leans in, and whispers in her ear, “Have you tried studying?”




The trick to success, for Sagittarius success, in this next couple of days? Focus. There’s an unpleasant task, or, I was thinking, just something I don’t really want to do myself. Can’t justify hiring it out, or calling the guy to do it, no, it’s really not that big of a deal. I just don’t want to, and that’s the Sagittarius clue, the phrase, “I don’t want to.”

This is where the term “Focus” plays such an important role in this week’s Sagittarius Success plan.

The biggest Sagittarius challenge is to stay focused on the original target. That one task that seems unpleasant, undesirable, or just plain, “I don’t want to?” That’s the one. Focus. The sooner we attend to this rather — not so much undesirable or unpleasant — just not how I’d like to spend my time? Our Sagittarius time?

First, as a Sagittarius myself, we’re all aware of that one task we’ve been avoiding. Not like I’m getting out of this one, not myself.

However, if we gather up our collective wits, let out a big sigh, then do that one thing we’re avoiding? Certain success.

Sagittarius: Key word, this week’s plan? Focus.



The Sea Goat

I use a small, cast-iron skillet for most food prep. I’ve learned, over the years with burns and similar injuries, to treat that cooking tool with care. While I tend to simmer and stir-fry more than any other style of cooking, I can fry, it is a frying pan, in one way of seeing it. What I learned? What I learned that I can pass on as Venus is retrograde in Aries, Mars is in motion in Aries, and Jupiter in Libra opposes Uranus in Aries?

Perhaps I should set this up a little, I tend to heat on a low heat, simmering and letting the food evolve into an “al-dente” type of meal. Low heat. I can usually grab the handle of that skillet without adverse side effects. It’s not too hot to handle by the handle, OK?

That’s the setting, I can usually grab the skillet to pass the food onto a plate.

Capricorn: you can easily where this going, right? Grabbed that skillet’s handle, seared finger’s flesh, not a happy situation.

Capricorn: you’ve been warned about grabbing a handle that might be too hot.



The Water Bearer

I’ve had this ongoing set of messages with a certain Aquarius. Just sets a tone, like a text message, back and forth, over and over, “So Mercury is Retrograde?”

No, I’ll say, Venus is in apparent retrograde, at the moment.

“So this is like Mercury in Retrograde?”

No, Venus is a different type of energy.

“So this is like a ‘Mercury in Retrograde’ thing, right?”

Not really, but there’s a connection, only, you can’t see it. Sounds like, though, you can feel it.

“So Venus in Retrograde is like ‘Mercury in Retrograde, right?”

No, it’s a different critter.

This time, this particular pattern it does affect the Aquarius ability to communicate in an effective manner, but no, that’s not like a confusing Mercury in Retrograde — but this week? Probably seems like it your Aquarius self.



About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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