Horoscopes starting 5.31.2018

Horoscopes starting 5.31.2018

    I think she has a perturb’d mind, which I cannot minister to.

Doctor in Shakespeare’s Two Noble Kinsman (IV.iii.16)

Horoscopes starting 5.31.2018

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


Happy Gemini birthday! This week? Besides all-important Gemini birthdays? We have to discuss motivation. It’s the classic “Carrot and a stick” time. I’m too lazy to research this, but you knew that about me, however, as I understand the term, “Carrot and stick?” This is about motivation for a horse, pulling a wagon. Might’ve been a mule pulling a plow, but the horse and cart work for me. Don’t put the donkey before the cart, either. So there are two ways to motivate that service animal. One is a reward. That would be the carrot, because, in this version of the myth, the horse, or donkey, or mule, that critter loves it some carrots. To me, a vegetable is hardly a reward. So the term, “Carrot and stick” gets a little sideways, but as an apt Gemini birthday metaphor, is works well. The other motivating factor is the stick. Pain or pleasure, this birthday time, what will it be? Of course, there is one, and he would rather be hit with the stick instead of eating a carrot. There’s always the one, isn’t there? Either way, though, motivation is factor for the Gemini birthday week, and what wil it be? Carrot or stick?

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab


Perhaps I am best known for gaffs, blunders, and mistakes. I can get away with it, or I could, at one time, I used to have the ultimate excuse, I would say something, having to do with astrology and the current disposition of the planets, and another person would roll her eyes. A third person would chime in, “It’s OK, he’s from Austin,” as if that was a panacea that covered a multitude of sins. So my gaffs, blunders, mistakes and verbal miscues?

I am absolved of all sins, “Yeah, he’s from Austin,” as if that really mattered. The implication was always, “He’s otherworldly,” as in space alien. Or something. I’m neither space alien, or, for that matter, from Austin anymore, and I’m trying to dig around for the panacea for the Cancer Moon Children. Gaffs, blunders and mistakes are part of what makes us who we are. Gaffs, blunders, errors, and the occasional miscue? All part of this week. While I don’t know that you have built-in excuse, and besides, my excuse is dated now, doesn’t really apply, but have some explanation, goes with a roll of the Cancer shoulders, “Yeah, he’s from Austin,” then shrug. Venus is Cancer, but opposes Pluto during this next week. Part of the process. What that means?

“Yeah, he’s from Austin,” shrug.

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo


Follow the instructions. Simple enough advice, right? For The Leo, simply put, “Follow the instructions.” I’m Sagittarius, male, mostly white, and frequently wrong, so I have an excuse. I don’t follow the instructions until I get stuck in a position where I have to reach out for help. Goes against what I was raised with, how I was raised, and what I’ve come to understand about myself: I don’t read the instructions, hear that?

“Real mean don’t read the instructions!”

There is a cheat sheet, has Step 1, Step 2, etc., all printed out with diagrams and graphics, insert tab A into slot B, and so forth. Very plain. Very simple. Easy to do. Simple and solid, too, if you follow all the steps in the proscribed order. It’s an easy process, and it is simple enough, if you follow the instructions. Step by step. There’s an order for this project, a way that it all fits together, and some other person has done all the hard work, so, for The Leo? Just follow the instructions, look at the diagram, then read what the steps are, how to get from point A (you are here) to point B (finished project), and what order all of this done in, because, odd as this may sound, there is a reason it is done in that order.

The Leo: Follow the instructions. Step-by-step. In order.

Virgo

Virgo

The Virgin


I fell in love with a certain term, “discomfited.” To hear me say the term? I sound like I’m saying something about “uncomfortable,” which is, in fact, a similar feeling. But being discomforted is more about an embarrassment when someone else does something. My immediate family always comes to mind for that, for my family can forever be counted on for bad behavior. Wrong words, weird pronunciations, and each visit with family is accompanied by an embarrassing moment, usually in public. Family is, at best, dependable for discomfiting moments.

I don’t like any Virgo discomfited, but the next few days, especially this weekend, early next week? Tension, embarrassment, feeling ill at ease because of some action — possibly like me? Your family? Siblings, parental units, off-spring, one — or more — are on a course to make the Virgo life, miserable is too strong of a word, but something you would blush at. Will blush.

Buddy of mine, his two-year old kid had been playing in a small pool in their backyard. The kid’s suit got too wet or tight, or something, and suddenly, when I show up, the kid is running out of the front of the house, naked. Squealing in joy, but buck-naked. Kids, huh?

My Virgo fishing buddy? Discomfited by his child’s behavior. Me? I was amused. 2-years old, I would expect that.

Libra

Libra

The Scales


Nature is extremely resilient, and we have to allow for that. I have some plants, I’m of the “Darwinian school” for gardening, and I have some plants that looked like they died off last year, in the winter. I was gone, no water, cold weather, freezing conditions, and I wasn’t around. Like I suggested, I’m of the “survival of the fittest” school of gardening. If the plants live? They get another joy-filled year with me. Over-hydrated (too much water), dehydrated (no water), drought, flood, all of it. Only the hardy survive in my garden. Not really a garden, just some plants in pots in the backyard. The point about resilience is what I was going for. I figured the plants, I had some sort of long-bladed, grass-like thing growing, and by last February? Looked dead. Month with freezing conditions and no water? Sure, reasonable expectation, am I right? A few days ago, it started to sprout green leafs, pushing up from the hard-packed soil. I was sure it was all dead, but I was surprised — hadn’t recycled that planter yet — amused that the green shoots were pushing upwards. I watered the plot, and that seems to revive it even more. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the gradual shift from Uranus, maybe it was just a lucky plant. As a Libra, you must allow for the resilience of nature. Something will sprout in the next few weeks, surprise us all.

Scorpio

Scorpio

Scorpion


There are certain aspects of this modern life that I adore. The instant “on” of the machines. The ability to connect over time and space, see old friends, and so forth, yes, I adore that. The ability to determine an exact location based upon a digital footprint? I’m not so fond of that. Ability to track me down, and figure out my exact location in a matter of minutes? Yeah, again, not fond of that. Good for keeping track of some people, and excellent for a Scorpio — especially if you’re one of those Scorpio’s who has to know. Even more amusing, to me, is the “find my phone” thing, and it works. The problem being, this is like “sight fishing,” wherein, if I can see the fish? The fish can see me, too. This is what the Scorpio energy has to be careful about this next few days. “If I can see the fish, the fish can see me, too?” Right. Conversely, if the digital footprint is visible to the prying Scorpio eyes? Then the Scorpio footprint is also visible to the quarry being observed. Which is kind of a problem. This is more along the lines of electronic, digital footprint sleuthing, for Scorpio, by Scorpio, just inquistive interogative situations, sure, “Inquiring minds want to know,” but I’m suggesting a little more caution, or little less prying — just for now.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Sagittarius


As a Sagittarius, myself, when I make suggestions, sure, they are for me as much as anyone else. This echoes back to previous sentiments, and not like we haven’t covered this material before, but the idea is simple: Pencil and Paper. For the last several decades, and essentially, for all of my career casting — and writing — horoscopes? I’ve been “digital.” Digital ink, digital display, digital interpretation of analog material, still, essentially, all done on a computer of one form or another. Got to where I did all of my note taking, on a phone, computer, or tablet, used to be i-things. However, for the foreseeable future, for Sagittarius? Think about: Pencil and Paper. I still have a few pencils left over from the days of yore, and I do tend to keep at least one such marker in my various travel bags, just in case, and this week? It’s just in case. Think, Sagittarius, think: Pencil and Paper. A theme that is concurrent with this? A fine-point Sharpie (style) of marker and the back of a business card. Still, the answer to this week’s Sagittarius question? The answer that will help with this week’s weirdness, and Mercury in Gemini, on the opposite side of the wheel from us?

Sagittarius: Pencil and Paper.

Analog makes my digital blood run cold, but if it works? Pencil and Paper.

Capricorn

Capricorn

The Sea Goat


Working on a review of some music I was listening to, I hit upon a brilliant idea, about how the rough edges of the particular cut of music helped sharpen and define the music rather than detract from the performance. The rough edges defined the music more than serve as a distraction. Perhaps this speaks to the weirdly common resurgence of 12-inch vinyl as a musical medium. Improperly stored “record,” pressed grooves on plastic discs, I remember them being prone to warping and real records, the audio quality would suffer after a dozen plays, allegedly. Technology has certainly improved, but for my dollars, I prefer new stuff as “lossless digital” so I can drop the tunes onto a phone, which then goes in the truck, or on foot, or fishing. Transferable and transmittable — for me. So the rough cut that was defined by the ragged edges, the snaps and pops, stage gaffs, and bass line that wasn’t properly mixed down? All of that helped define the music rather than serve as a critical mistake. As we look forward into the Capricorn times just ahead, that idea that the rough edges are part of the material that helps define Capricorn rather than serve as a detractor? The Capricorn rough edges help define what’s there, in a weirdly dymanic, almost heroic manner.

Aquarius

Aquarius

The Water Bearer


The temptation is to give into the first intuitive hit you get. The first idea that pops in your Aquarius head? Sure, that looks best; it sounds best. The first idea is was the first, so that must be the best, the most correct. The temptation is to gather as little evidence as possible, and then take off running with extrapolated and expected results that are derived from the single point of reference.

The temptation is to run with the first bit of evidence that suggests a particular direction. That first clue? That’s just the first open. That first hit you get? It might be right — or not. Mostly this is part of the arc described by Mr. Mars, and what he does during his little trip an its influence.

The temptation — the Aquarius temptation — is to not gather any more evidence than what is presented at that first glance. First blush, the glimpse, and yes, you’re good to go?

The temptation is to run with that first suggestion without considering any other alternatives. Be willing to dig. That first temptation might prove correct, but as an inquisitive Aquarius, you will want more evidence than what you just got with that first look.

Pisces

Pisces

The Fishes


One of the intriguing and amusing aspects to Shakespeare scholarship is the ceaseless amount of conjecture. Other than a few scraps of paper that survived, and a few copies of the plays that were pirated before his death, the entire canon, wasn’t even published until years after he passed. There is very little factual evidence about Shakespeare — other than those few surviving scraps. The whole industry, theaters, all of that? Built on scant evidence, or cut — wholesale — out of the cloth of non-reality. That cloak of supposition is this week’s Pisces garment. Wear, wear it proud? Hide behind it? Take shelter and succor within its embrace? The Pisces to Pisces point? Just be aware that it fabric that might — or might not — be spun from pure fabrication. Careful with facts and stuff that appears true, but we both know, might not be so.

Aries

Aries

Aries The Ram


There are some things, just a little too over the top. Local grocery store chain ran an ad, it featured BBQ Grill s’mores. In a single frying pan, on the grill, melt a stick of butter, then a whole package of chocolate chips. When that mess is soft and gooey? Add a package of miniature marshmallows. Serve like queso, only, use graham cracker (store brand) for scooping.

Yeah, looked good in the ad. However, I would note, no one was seen actually eating the chocolate, marshmallow gooey mess, and there was no one seen cleaning it up. To be sure, though, starting with a stick of butter is inspiring. That’s a good move because it coats the frying pan properly. The principle ingredient in the chocolate? Sugar. The primary ingredient in the tiny marsh mellows, besides air? Sugar. Plus butter. What could go wrong? Looks simple, but then consider the ingredients, and then, consider the clean-up, and then, consider the outcome. Looks good on paper, but in the real world?

This simple recipe, as an example, illustrates the problems and challenges faced by this week’s Aries stars. What looks simple, easy, and even sounds good, as an idea, or a short video? What looks good there, is really, best guess, a recipe for disaster.

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull


Funniest thing, in a coffee shop, I hadn’t noticed, a guy was sort of camped out with a laptop and had stuff plugged in. He got a call, scooped up his bag and stepped outside to talk on the phone, laptop bag hanging open, phone pressed to his ear, gesticulating, and, presumably, talking loudly — glad he stepped outside.

He wandered off, and I paid no more attention. A few minutes later, he swooped back in, went to where he had been camped out, and grabbed a charger with an expensive set of earphones — still plugged into the wall. I think there was a sigh of relief, but I didn’t see it because I wasn’t looking. Still, that’s a typical example of what can happen. The “Lunar Fallout,” it seems to create Taurus distractions. Distractions like walking off from a hundred dollar set of headphones that were still charging. Coffee shops tend to be forgiving and even, in some cases, protective of their regular clientele, so those items might’ve been rescued. Or not, no way to know, not without asking. But as a reminder for Taurus? I’ll agree it was a super-polite, and really good idea to take the call outside.

Don’t forget the headphones, that needed to be charged.

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