Horoscopes for 7.18.2019

A plague upon this howling!
They are louder than the weather, or our office.
Boatswain The Tempest 1.1.14

Portable Mercury Retrograde

The sun enters the best Fixed Fire sign of all: Leo on July 22, 2019, at 9:50 PM — but Mr. Mercury stays retrograde until July 31. But what does that mean?

Horoscopes for 7.18.2019


The Crab - the Moonchild
Going to be a long one, and you can’t say I didn’t try and warn you. Happy birthday, and so on. There’s a trick. I think I stole this line from literature, but I’m too lazy to look for it now, about sampling a phrase before uttering a phrase.

“Taste your words before spitting them out.”

Might’ve been an “anon.” signature, too. Can’t always read my own messages to myself. But that essence of that note, especially now that Mercury is where he is? That message is clear, “Taste your words before you spit them out.” Anyone who’s been around kids know that some little children are not shy when it comes to spitting out something that doesn’t taste good, or that they think might taste bad, so why try? Going to be a long Mercurial Period, and on the backside of Cancer, best advice? Taste your words before you spit them out.

The Leo

Birthday crap starts soon enough, just hold on for about four more days. Depends on when you read this, too, but from the moment you read this, moving forward? Need about four more days. It just helps to pad out that estimate for arrival, that projected closure date, the high holiday travel thing, any of that? “Four more days?” Yes. Why I love The Leo so much, you guys are quick learners. So, in summation?

The Leo: four more days.

Mercury is slipping backwards to Cancer, Mars is heating up Leo, and there’s a small amount of discomfort from certain other areas, more like pea gravel in the sky. Not all a bad, got it? But there needs to be some built in comfort for the soon birthdays. Doesn’t matter, to me, when you read this, the message is really, really clear: “Four more days.” So let’s stick a pin in that, nail it to the wall, and we’ll revisit this in four more days.


“Rub some dirt on it. Everything stops bleeding. Eventually.” Old, tough-guy neighbor. Think he was quoting an Army Medic, but I can’t be sure, and I think there are allusions to his past when he was some kind of tough-guy, I mean, tougher than he is now. These days, he’s just a grouchy old man. My people. Might want to adopt some of that grouchy, old-man attitude to help Virgo cope with the next few days. Think about it, some person comes to you with a complaint, and yet, you know, in your Virgo heart, it really isn’t that valid of an issue. You look at the person, and what should you say?

“Rub some dirt on it. Everything stops bleeding. Eventually.”

Sounds a little harsh, but the way it is intended? There should be an element of mirth. However, I’ll bet, doesn’t matter who you address, even me, they will get all twisted around a seemingly calloused response. Might help to punctuate it, and I’m unsure if this one even works anymore, but certainly worth a try?

“You kids! Get off my lawn!”

Yeah, or just some rub some dirt on the wound, real or imagined, because, as we know, everything stops bleeding. Eventually.


Some days, we have to do what we have to do. This is one of those times, look: I know what is the right course of action with particular scenario, I just don’t like to do it.

That wasn’t part of the question was it?

I didn’t ask if we liked to do it this way, I just suggested we all know this is the most correct course to follow. Knowing what’s right? That’s about three-quarters of this struggle, all wrapped up in a neat answer. The bonus side of this, as Libra, you already know what the right answer is, it’s just, it’s just, it’s just that the right answer isn’t any fun, or not nearly as fun as the other way we could go with this. However, with that Mercury-situation not really in check? I got this great excuse, “It was the best answer with what I had available at the time,” only, that doesn’t work.

If you know the right answer, then choose the wrong way? “I don’t want to do it that way; it’s too hot, too cold, too hard!” The correct path might be more arduous this next couple of days, exacerbated by both Saturn and Mercury, but trust me, at the end? You’ll be happier you did it the correct way — the first time.


As Mr. (Retrograde) Mercury slides backwards into Cancer, a Scorpio compatible water sign, there’s a sense of relief. As Mr. Mars heats up Leo, though, there’s a sense of urgency, as dictated by the Mars-inspired tension. Who wins? No one “wins,” but as a good Scorpio, you’re familiar with the idea of well-timed pause to let others do stupid stuff first.

“You have the right to remain silent,” is how the cops do it on TV.

So, Scorpio, you have the right to remain silent.

Will you? We both kind of figure — Mars, Mercury, yeah, probably not going to be quiet, are you? Can’t say I didn’t suggest it first, but, if I commanded it? You’d break the rules, just to show that I was wrong, and if, it is only a suggestion from me? Then you think, “It’s only a suggestion, pshaw, watch this!” Still, the planets do suggest you want to be more vocal and uncommon sense suggests a much more tacit approach might better serve you. Your call, Scorpio.


Buddy of mine hangs from the high iron. He’s one of those guys who works up in the sky, on new construction, mostly. I don’t understand most of what he does, deeply tan, great fun as a fishing buddy, and he doesn’t think several hundred feet above the pavement is dangerous. One morning, in a boat, talking about work? He was explaining that after each “incident,” his safety web would be replaced. He also did a quick visual inspection for nicks, cuts, and scraps, before each shift in the sky. Sort of makes sense to me. We talked about his safety check and then, I ran a length monofilament fishing line through my hands, watching for burrs, abrasions, cut, nicks, and scraps. While, in that situation, we were using leaders, the first of the line on the reel itself that’s not “leader?” That stuff sees the most abuse, and more than one crafty fish has rubbed against that to break the line.

I tend to feel the the first 6 or 8 feet of line, just to see. I have no problems sacrificing a few feet of line to insure I get a big one. Big fish. Doing so, my buddy started to understand, it was like replacing his safety web after each incident. Now, for Sagittarius, remember Mercury? I checked my poles, lines were good. My buddy? He lost the first big one of the day, pole bent over, line went stripping out, reel’s drag was singing, and then, as soon as he picked up the pole? Snap! Should’ve checked that safety line, huh.


Comes a time when the “Ceiling hits the fan.” What was happening, friend of a friend was remodeling a house, and that was really what occurred. Pulling down mid-century popcorn ceiling covering, about halfway through, the ceiling hit the fan. A great sheet of latex, with popcorn ceiling texture sandwiched in it? A great huge chunk fell — this is construction material that dates to earlier than I care to think about it. Sort of turning the term, “The sky is falling,” or “something is hitting the fan,” with the term the ceiling hit the fan. Short term, this was hugely uncomfortable because there was that nasty popcorn-construction material everywhere. However, in the bigger picture, it pulled off a whole sheet, and it was easier to peel the ceiling. Made the task — ultimately — easier. Not without some cussing, swearing, and I think I got blamed for something in this mess, even though, we all know — and acknowledge — it wasn’t my fault. Something occurs, in Capricorn, like the ceiling hitting the fan? Not all bad, just inconvenient, but look, it helped get the job done faster. Eventually.


Make a list. Goals, dreams, desires. Accomplishments for the next few days? That, too.

Just a simple list. “I need to get this, this, and that, all done before the end of the week.”

Sure, sounds simple, right? With the current planetary lack of alignment? Mars, in Leo, Sun (star, not really a planet but oh well) is headed to Leo, Mercury (currently retrograde in Cancer), and Uranus, the Aquarius planet, in Taurus? All of the items on that list, all the goals, the dreams, chores, tasks? All of that gets accomplished because of the Aquarius drive to succeed. It doesn’t happen in an efficient manner, that’s all. “No way, I got this planned, I’ll swing by there, then over there, and finally back through here, a simple circle, get it all done, watch!” I will, with a frank grin, “Sure.” Each point along that proscribed pathway is temporarily thwarted. Traffic, a popular excuse here is “road construction,” but that’s an ongoing issue. Closed roads, detours, it’s not all Mercury’s fault, but we can lay the blame at Mercury’s winged feet, if you’d like. The detours? I promised it would all get done, just not with — what would seem like — great efficiency.


Music may soon move the the soul, but the beat is what drives us forward. Towards that end, I have a medium-sized library of local singer/songwriters. Not an exhaustive or anywhere near complete catalog, just some stuff. Moaning, frequently dirge-like, that distinct Texas twang? What separates most of what I’ve got, is that I’ve seen these guys, big stages, little stages, a setting that was little more than a drum riser itself, and none too sturdy — for a stage. Then, too, there are several of the artists, mostly local legends, and their material, the lyrics themselves, pure poetry to my ears.

So much can be said with so little. So there is that, local twangy artists. However, I have to switch that up. It’s good to listen to, sometimes, but it can’t be the only audio I hear. Can’t listen to Shakespeare all day, either, well I could, but no, not what this is about. The beat that drives me forward, and what I suggest for Pisces? Techno-trance-electronica-house-something-something. While loosely categorized as EDM, the various labels and sub-genres gets too confusing. Still, as a solid, background beat? We need something that has a beat. Not just the simple thump-thump of a standup bass carrying an acoustic guitar and lyrical accompaniment, but that driving, surging, forceful dance track.


One of those days, huh. “Opportunities are cleverly disguised as obstacles.” This is not a race; this is not a competition. This isn’t some kind sick and twisted game to see who has it worse.

Also: can’t say you weren’t warned
about Mercury in Retrograde!

What I can explain is broad, obvious to me, symbolism. It might appear like an Aries-resistant object. Some would call it a fixed obstacle. You’re better than that. As a typical Aries, you want one, simple direction. A single set of instructions. Once goal. One destination. Clearly marked destination. Yeah, me too. However, the stars, more the planet Mr. Mercury, but the stars colluded in confusing the route, direction, and apparent goal. The idea, this week demands at least three different attempt on substantially unrelated problems. Three different routes. Three different goals. Maybe four, I’m not too sure. More than two, for sure. While this seriously irritates your Aries “One goal, one at a time” sensibilities? There are opportunities, the next few days. “Opportunities are merely cleverly disguised obstacles.”


Get expert advice. Simply put, get someone — someone who knows this material backwards, forwards, inside and out, in other words — who is an expert? Get expert advice. You want planets, dates things happen, implications? Planetary cycles and meanings? I’m certainly one of the people. That’s my area where I’m good. Buddy had a car window that wouldn’t roll down — one of those automatic windows. Older model car, asked if I would help. I tried to get it of it, but he showed a video on his phone that showed him how to do, all needed was an extra set of of hands. My little carport, the driveway, yeah, this didn’t go well.

What was supposed to be 15 minutes wound up being half an afternoon then on into the evening. I checked with my buddy, and his brother-in-law works at a car dealership, same brand car. As dusk settled, I got everything into his passenger seat, and he was off to see the brother-in-law. Took that guy all of about 15 minutes to reset the window’s motor, bolt the new part in place, and then pop the upholstery back in to cover the mess.

I’m not an expert, not anymore with car repair. YouTube video shows guys doing this, step by step, but that doesn’t make us an expert. Seek expert advice. Get the guy who knows what he’s doing to help Taurus. If you ask, and I suggest I don’t know? Then I’m not the one to ask. This week, if you’re faced with a question that requires an expert’s opinion? Get an expert.


One industry I was associated with — at one time — the biggest cost? Labor. Biggest problem with that business? Getting good workers, then getting good workers to stay. Labor is always an issue, and now, more so than ever, does the Gemini-land have problems in finding, keeping and maintaining a good (qualified) Gemini staff.

Besides, you really do require a whole cadre of minions, hanger-ones, fetchers, acolytes, lurkers, guardians, and just regular fans, for proper Gemini entourage purposes. Seems we have much in common, as an employer and the Gemini: can’t find good help these days.

Crap. Can’t call the employees “the help” any more, but that’s what we need, just a little help from friends. Not to put too fine a point on it? Going to be going this a little alone, and those people you counted on for assistance? Probably not showing up. The ones who do show up? Count your Gemini blessings for what little assistance there is. But if they get hired away for more money and less work elsewhere? Can’t say you weren’t warned.

“Man this Mercury Retrograde stuff is a bitch this time!”

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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