Horoscopes for 3-25-2021

Horoscopes for 3-25-2021

Thou hast an honest face;
And such a face, when it deceives, take heed,
Is curst of all heav’n’s creatures.

Violante in Shakespeare’s Double Falsehood 3,3,136-8

Full Moon March 28, 2021 opposite Venus/Sun alignment. Mercury passes Neptune. Then Easter is upon us.


AriesThere is a certain degree of innocence that I miss. I watched, I was out in a distant suburb, and the kids, all of six or seven years old, would pedal furiously down the street. Stop, drop the bicycles on the curb, then run up to the front door. Door opens, kids greet, talk amongst themselves, and then disappear into the suburban manse.

A little slice of Americana, almost Norman Rockwell in execution, just a brief tableau of what it is still like in places. What thrilled me the most, watching the way they parked their bikes, just dropped by the curb, or in the front lawn, the driveway, any number of spots. It was that sense of innocence, and I miss that in most of our modern lives. It can still live, in Aries, but there will always be a cynical voice, like me, in the background, “Are you sure that’s safe?” Depends on how much Aries wants to listen to that cyclical, cynical voice in the background.

“Are you sure that’s OK?”


One of the ways I tend to think of Taurus is, if, as, a steady state. Unflappable, occasionally intractable, oftentimes unrelenting, and mostly, always steadfast. There’s a sense of purpose, one task, one goal, one direction at a time that I find with the Taurus-type energy. Not bad, more along the lines of “reliable” than anything else.

Not always given to soaring flights of fancy, there’s a different element at play in the next couple of Taurus days. That’s an escape clause. That’s a license to be different. That’s a fleeting notion that there might be a new experience, perhaps an alternative route, a different way to get from where you’re at to where you want to be. Take it. Try it. Think in terms of “rough draft” instead of finished and polished product. My first instinct was to suggest “two” in order to get this across, but with the way things are? Maybe more like three or four attempts. The first two aren’t bad, they’re just not the finished item. Think: “rough draft,” and then? What can I do better in the next version?


The Full Moon is straight across from a reasonably tight Sun and Venus conjunction. Almost at the same time. Almost exactly at the same time. It’s a seasonably rare event. Brings a totally weird kind of feeling to everything in Gemini land. For a brief moment, “Love is in the air, love is everywhere…” Yeah, brief moment. After the moon is full? There’s the cold, harsh reality of everyday life, back, and the crush of Easter crap just makes all of this worse. “Things” get a little confused, and to keep it short and simple? Just one question. Just a quick question for Gemini to ask.

“Are these proposed wedding vows, or the Miranda Rights?”

Asked and answered, right?


There’s a been a metric ton of research connecting the stomach (gut feelings) to the conscious or subconscious mind. Look it up, all online, someplace, I’m sure. There are more (something) in the stomach than in the brain. I don’t recall, but I have strange sensation that it might be true. Or I might have the data all wrong, but I have a gut feeling that I’m right, just get out there and fact-check me. Or, as a sensitive Cancer (Moon Child), you have the same feeling that the data I’m — sort of — presenting “feels” correct. All we need, am I right? Or what? Always one, lone dissenting voice in the back, “I’ll go with the ‘or what,’ please.” However, other than the lone, dissenting voice in the background? The rest of the consensus is that the gut feelings are the correct answer to what’s happening. While not admissible as strict evidence in either a scientific or legal sense, if that Moon Child (Cancer) gut feeling helps lead us out of the morass? Then I’m good with it, no matter what its origins are, or, for that matter, no matter how unscientific it might appear to be.

As an astrologer, I cannot mock the marriage of science and supposition.

The Leo

As Mercury and the Sun play a cosmic game of tag? My only warning for The Leo is to be suspect of False Charities Appearing Real. FCAR? Didn’t have the acronym ring I was hoping for, but it was a solid term, and particularly strong at this moment in the sign of The Majestic Lion. There’s a need to be charitable. There’s a need to tithe and give freely to those less fortunate than ourselves. There’s a need to reach out and help lift up other’s who aren’t doing as well as we are. Then, too, there’s a certain amount of the Lion’s Pride that gets hooked into a charity deal, and it’s nice to say, “Look, I helped.”

What I was seeing, though, as I spun around the planets? Mercury and the Sun, doing a dance, and that leaves a certain amount of confusion. Before donating, make sure that the place really is charity, or that one understands that it is a private entity, not a legitimate charity, and that the money does help, but might not be a tax write-off. Yeah, the current watch-word, until we get past the Full Moon? False Charities Appear Real. Sorry, I can’t work it into a snappy acronym or anything.


Old girlfriend, many long years ago, asked me if I would go to a mediation class with her. Thus was born my ongoing love-affair with meditation in its various forms. Turns out, I had developed my own practice, a meditative practice, back long before I realized it was “a thing.” That old girlfriend and her class we took, that was just words and definitions for what I was already doing in some form. For years, off and on, I would add a link to a nine-minute audio file, which, strictly speaking isn’t really enough time, but in hectic, wired world? I’ll take what I can get. It takes a minute or less to read the horoscope. As a Virgo, you need more time to pause and consider options. I’ll throw in a link to the audio file again, if we make it that far, and I’ll doubt that a single one of you will listen to it all the way through, but that doesn’t matter at the moment. What does matter is that we buy a little, meditative moment in the land of Virgo. Doesn’t have to be much but we need a little extra time before rendering a decision. I’m so not Virgo, so this doesn’t apply to me, but observed and recorded for these specific instances? “Can I get back to you — later?” Best phrase of all.

That audio file?


At this moment, I can’t recall why Double Falsehood was added as Shakespeare apocrypha, but I know, over the years, I’ve seen it presented as such. There’s also the Merlin story, again, over the years, presented as Shakespeare’s work, but might not be. I think, in a more modern setting, Shakespeare would get a billing in the production notes, the credits that run at the end of the show, or the movie? Yeah, he’d get shout-out there, but probably not much more than a co-author note on some of this. Then, too, there’s the idea bantered around that latter authors would attribute their own works to Shakespeare in hopes of getting a better billing. The authorship debate rages ever onward, and yet, the further we get from the facts of 1600, the less distinct the data becomes. What we do know? He was the main author on most, if not all, of the plays attributed to him in the classical sense, the first 38. He might have been “script doctor,” on some of the later plays, and he might have learned his chops on some of the earlier works, now under his name. However, what it amounts to? Supposition, conjecture, and educated guesses. What this week in Libra Land looks like? Supposition, conjecture, and educated guesses. The evidence is there, but it might not all hold up under serious scrutiny.


Unrelenting fear. There has to a be a way to guard against it. There’s a sense, a pervasion, irksome kind of very Scorpo dread, stuck in the back of the mind. Not really a voice in the back of your head, more just a dark cloud of unmitigated fear.

“What’s got you down, me buck-o?”

It’s that occasional Scorpio angst. Fear, unrelenting fear. What we can do to guard against its presence? First off, acknowledge that a certain amount of this fear is based in your reality. For example, I have a certain fear of Scuba diving, as an example. I have done it, but I no longer have any interest in going below the sea, hint: once I leave the boat? I am no longer at the top of the food chain; so, this is an activity that scares me, and I no longer have any interest in pursuing. Perfect example of one form of the fear.

Rational and yet relentless. I have at least one client who assures me that I’m being really stupid about going underwater, and that my fear is not rational. Still, for me, this is persistent. I showed you one example of an unrelenting fear, rational or otherwise. Now, what the week ahead holds, and what we must be on the lookout for? A way to manage those relentless fears. I’m still not going Scuba diving.


I am no fan of “cop TV.” Regrettably, I’ve been exposed to it, both as the “reality” version, and as police procedurals. In it, both versions, the perpetrator, or alleged bad guy, every time, that suspected criminal element — always — always, always takes off running. Foot chase inevitably ends in handcuffs. TV, movies, or even reality TV? Same outcome, every time. Every. Time. Handcuffs. Steel bracelets. When there is a real crime? Ends in jail time, as expected. Same outcome, every time. Every. Time. Run, chase, capture, arrest, and jail. Every time. Every. Time. On TV, in real life? I doubt TV shows real life, but that’s not part of the question. Inevitable end, same time, every time.

Why do they run? As an adage, next couple of days? “You can run, but we get you, every time.” Every. Time. Without fail. Run? You’ll only get caught, and get tired out, too.


Comes a point, I was shopping online. Anyway, I was about to get some fishing gear, but I got distracted, and I left the “hand-poured, local-sourced, all-organic” plastic bait in the online shopping cart. Like most digital experiences, I’ve wandered off and forgotten about the deal until I ventured back, a few days later, pulling out a piece of plastic to pay for the baits, and as I clicked through to site, then the shopping thing, and closing page, it said, “We don’t have any more on hand.”

Strictly local stuff, and while it’s a tad more expensive than the usual store-bought baits, these seem to work a bit better. Some kind of secret mix of plastic, scents, dark colors, and other ingredients. The flavors fish crave? I’m not sure. Sort of a rudimentary web page, could probably just find the guy on the lake some days. It’s also sort of an underground kind of bait, only a few people know about it. The idea that it won’t be carried in any store? Part of its appeal. Fact that it works, that is part of the appeal as well. Then, as I discovered, there’s a real shortage of the material — guy only makes so much at one sitting. Now, when I clicked through and found out there wasn’t anymore at this time? I silently berated myself for not finishing up the transaction, but then, this could be a sign. As a Capricron-friendly person, the sign is clear — it wasn’t meant to be; therefore, the most expedient route, the best course of action, even now? Nothing. Deal didn’t go through. Maybe we don’t need the super-exotic, locally-sourced, hand-made material at this time.


E-mailWhat we’re looking for the perfect marriage of conventional and unconventional. Two elements, two parts of a whole, but the two parts? Think, “Oil and water,” or consider “opposites attract.” Just two elements that don’t normally combine with each other to form a harmonious whole.

There’s a bit of a time-crunch on this union of disparate pieces, though. Want this done soon, preferably before the holiday madness starts to set in, which, if you live where I do? The insanity is already starting to leak in around the edges. Like, we shut the door on the craziness, but there it is, leaking in under the door’s sill, and the ooze? It can be dark black, or red, like arterial blood, or it can be a variety of colors, like Mardi Gras cake, or even many shades of pastels, like normal Easter Eggs. What’s scariest for Aquarius, whatever flavor? That’s what it looks like. The solution, and this is a hasty wedding, of sorts, is the union of opposites. Elements that don’t — normally — belong next to each other. Conventional and unconventional, all roped in together. Works, works well, this next few days.


Penurious parsimonious Pisces? There comes a time when the best action is to take no action. This is such a time. There is exactly one Pisces I know who will be lucky in cards, next few days. The rest of the Pisces clan? Fold that money over, and stick back in either your pocket or my pocket.

When I lined up the questions for myself, looking at your chart, then when I lined up the words I wanted to use, it brought up a question, or series of reductive questions, “Are you cheap because you have no money?” The flip side of the question, as I am wont to suggest, “Do have no money because you’re cheap?” There’s always one, and is this one you? Or is this how you should be, next few weeks, as we crawl towards this spring’s first big event? “I have plenty of liquid resources — I just choose not to expend those resources on this frivolity.”

There is that, huh.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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