Horoscopes for 3-4-2021

Horoscopes for 3-4-2021

Thy beauty makes them guilty of their death
And gives in evidence that they shall die;
Upon which verdict I, their Judge, condemn them.

Neptune-Sun conjoined March 10, &c. See Austin details.


PiscesThere’s a local chain of coffee shops that I liked to frequent, called “Jim’s.” Think there’s a little more than a half-dozen still alive these days, but it’s perfect road food. There’s an easy sense of familiarity in each store. Then, on a crowded Sunday morning, queue Sunday Morning Going Down, I was standing there, a short wait for a table, and the archetypical post-nuclear family shows up to meet grandparents, already waiting.

I was — socially distant — off to one side, observing.

The youngest little girl, she had on something ballet-like. She was explaining, and I was trying to not act too interested, she explained that she had taken ballet all her life, “Like, for ten years.” Her slightly exasperated older brother rolled his eye, “you’re in first grade.” Best guess, that would make her six years old. The party, from what I could gather was ostensibly her Pisces birthday celebration with grandparents. I don’t know; they called my “Kramer,” and we sat to eat bacon, eggs, hash brown, biscuits, cream gravy, and grits. However, take note of that little girl and her apparent lack of math skills, and her getting busted by her big brother, and the way hyperbole doesn’t always work. Like, this has been going on for ten years, but she was only just then turning six or seven.


AriesThe largest issue with one’s intuition is that there always seems to be a secondary voice. Maybe a quarter of the Aries I deal with can effectively filter the signal from the noise, but with the very Pisces nature of what is popping this week, for Aries? Sometimes that filtering leaves much to be desired. Sometimes there’s no apparent filter. Sometimes the filter lets all the bad ideas come though while leaving the best advice behind. One will ask about retrograde planets, and I would prefer to point out it is merely a construct of that properly Pisces sense of confusion. Not bad, just confusing.

Up might appear down, and good might appear bad. I’ve watched as language has changed, mutated, and grown in a few short years. That’s what we should be careful about, as this week unfolds and eventually flows into next week with more than its proper share of confusing elements. If you can accurately read that intuition, you might have a definite answer. The challenge being, contrary to a proper Aries sentiment, that intuition might not be as clear as we would all like. So careful with what one thinks is the correct answer — maybe seek outside assistance with deciphered the messages.


TaurusIn my backyard, but this did start in a trailer park in old South Austin, but in my backyard, there’s a flock of pink flamingos. Plastic, mostly, a few are pot metal and rusting, some are large, most are knock-offs of the original design, and some, I found at a dollar store, for a dollar apiece. Those tended to be really cheap, and not quite as large.

What’s with the pink flamingos?

The backyard because I was threatened by a girlfriend, and the flamingoes because they are tacky, and cheap. They are also a source of unusual inspiration. Therein is what Taurus needs. “Pink Flamingos, seriously, Kramer, WTF.” Stretch your Taurus imagination — just a little. Escape the bounds of normal. In my case, it’s not too hard. But in your case? Whatever works? Works. This is about inspiration, and inspiration coming from the oddest of places. For me? Pink Flamingos. Cheesy, cheap, crap. But fun, in a way, and cheery on an otherwise drab March morning.


GeminiMars will oppose the moon briefly, and that sets the dynamic wherein gentle Gemini gets a little more worked up about an idea, a little more worked up than need be. The problem and the resultant ire far outpace the cause of the ire in the first place. Mars is a trigger, and Mars in Gemini just launches you into space over a perceived slight. Or an issue. Or, the most common expression of this energy? Car cuts you off in traffic and you tail that car to its final destination then drive by, giving them “the look,” hopefully letting the offending driver know he/she is on notice from your Gemini self, and to keep looking out. Little excessive, don’t you think?


The Crab - the MoonchildI spend s lot of time in thinking in terms of “problems” and “solutions.” Simple, almost binary way to break it all down, and the way my mind works, I look at problem A, then I think about solving problem A, and in the midst of the meditative moment, I have a solution to problem B, which may, or probably isn’t, related to problem A. The first has nothing to do with the second, other than occupying space in my brain.

Clients are used to this kind of situation, as I ramble around and talk about their issues. I get back to the first one, eventually, but frequently, I have to detour by the second, or third, before I can have a correct answer for the first. Working on this week’s Cancer Moon Child ’scope, I had thought about technical issue I was working on here, at home. I paused, got up, messed around with a wiring, plugged and unplugged then plugged it all back in again, and I didn’t fix anything, but I felt better because I tired one more solution. Didn’t work, but that didn’t make it a failure, either, I just learned a little more about that one problem, which has nothing to do with your week — at least — not directly. Indirectly? This has everything to do with your week. Looking at Cancer Problem A, you will be struck with an answer to Moon Children’s Problem C, and that has nothing to do with the problem in the middle. But a solution is a solution, and even if you don’t fix the first thing, some progress — any progress — is welcome. Hint: take the win.

The Leo

The LeoWith Saturn, one must be willing to reach back 28 years — or more. In some examples, I had this line about Saturn being on a 28-year cycle, but oddly enough, showing up with certain elements, that cycle didn’t echo back until 30 or 31 years. In other coverage, I’ve written at length about Saturn and its cycles, but this is important to The Leo because we’re dealing with realizations, awareness, preconceived patterns, and other behaviorist detritus left over from a previous Saturn passage. The awareness is about stuff you learned, already, about yourself, and how that applies, though, there’s a growing sense that another piece of The Leo psyche’s puzzle just snapped into place.

Awareness, patterns, traits, mannerisms, any or all, and some portion thereof? Suddenly it makes sense. “Oh, that’s what caused that!” Now, let’s build forward, and keep the momentum going with that new understanding. A moment’s pause rewards The Leo with a deeper understanding of motivations, motivators, or just roots and causes of the — something. What you do? Understanding what pushed that point? What pulled the trigger — then? When that pops up this next few days? “Yeah, that pressure point no longer pisses me off.”



VirgoThe idea of public domain material means that it is free and can be copied, recopied, and otherwise adjusted as one see fits, then sold, resold or otherwise distributed with no legal repercussions, and no karmic debt. I keep a free copy of an older translation of Marcus Aurelius Meditations on hand, just as a good example. However, with what was occurring, I would suggest that the variation of the 101 Zen Stroies, available online as a text, that would be the best place for Virgo to start. I have two paperback copies, one dated, one “modernized,” and I keep the modern variant on my bedside table, exactly perfect for times like this. It’s lightweight, Zen, and zen-like material that helps promote healthy, restful sleep. Wake up in the middle of the night with torturous dreams, unresolved angst, and problems spinning out of my own control? Ever have that brain — Virgo brain — lies in wait, and as soon as the eyes close, there’s the host of problems, real, and imagined? The zen text works for me. I think I’ve got a public domain copy somewhere, I just can’t find it now. But the text? It’s exactly what that Virgo brain needs at this moment. Just a few moments of quiet. Ease the brain into a supine, resting position. There. All better.

Marcus Aurelius Meditations


LibraSort of depends, am I right? Or what? Are you the kind of Libra that looks at me and gives me a thumbs up? Or you the kind of Libra that merely points, then “pulls the trigger” as a way to acknowledge me? Thumbs up, or thumbs down and pointing a finger? Not sure why I bothered ask a Libra to take a definite position on a trivial issue, not like you can’t see it both ways. “Sort of depends on how I’m feeling at the time, whether I point and click, or give you a thumbs up, why do you ask?” Just trying to force an issue, because, there comes a time in everyone’s life, and now, especially for the Sign of the Scales, comes a time when a question is answered. Yes, or no, but can’t be in between. I’ll trust you to come up with a definitive answer.


ScorpioA portion of my familial lineage is “Southern.” No new information, there, with heritage and southern gothic that stretches deep into my ancestral past, there’s an expression that came crawling up from those roots, perfect for Scorpio — “Nice shoes.” Implied, but not stated? The term usually means that unctuous, overweening sense of “Nice shoes, bitch.” The final epithet is implied, not stated. With what is going on in, and around, Scorpio, this time requires the version of that expression. Modify, adjust, rewrite, but think: be nice. Or sound nice. Or sounds nice and be nice despite the ire that lies within thy eyes. Tad archaic, but then, times like this require finesse, and that’s what you’re good for, that simple kind of blatant finesse where everyone else is merely hurtful, irrational, or stupid. Or some combination of all three. No, there’s a chance to rise above while still staying true to thine’s own (Scorpio) self. Try it out, yeah, and if you don’t live in the areas where the expression conveys, you’ll have to work out your own, but the idea is to be nice, or sound nice, or have it look like you’re being nice on the surface. That’s all that’s required for you to be successful in the coming days. “Wow, look at that: nice shoes.”


SagittariusThe eternal question comes up, and there’s a series of lines, in my own head, like graph lines, you know? One charts a desire, pointed up. Another points reason, sometimes logic, sometimes commonsense. That one tends to point down. Someplace, in the middle, the desire and the logic intersect. Bang. That’s where the sale happens. It’s point where the desire, sometimes interpreted as a need, and logic, the balance of why this is needed, or desired, but now bumped up to the “need” category, why it is a justified expense.

It’s an intricate series of calculations, and the wants vs. need vs. price vs. cost all intersect at some point. The challenge facing our Sagittarius selves in the next few days, especially under this New Moon influence up and coming? Well, it was weeks away, but with that on an approach? The need, the want, the desire, can start to outweigh pure logic.

Rational thought is in short Sagittarius supply. That’s the problem. There really isn’t any kind of solution, other than, a definite, “Maybe not right now.” Wait, I can hear it, “But you deserve this!” Maybe. Might be true, but is now really the time? Again, maybe.


CapricornChannel surfing I stumbled into a local-cable news affiliate, sort a variation on broadcast media, now approaching a dinosaur status. The short bit I watched, the news anchor, local news anchor, she had a back story, local link, and the personal approach as if this was all very dear to her. Celebrity status, only, it was just another talking head for news. How did that old song go? “She can talk about the car crash with a gleam in her eye?” I might have that wrong. But the filler material, the attempt to make this all seem as personal as possible? The story behind the story? That’s what seemed overwhelming important, maybe even her personality it was more important than the news she was delivering, which, this was local cable broadcast, it might just be that her story was far more interesting than what the news segment was allegedly about. This was just a quick look at the media, though, and this is about the story behind the story wherein the delivery method becomes more interesting than the stuff being delivered. The story’s story? Sure, but that can become a tautological Capricorn mess, and no one wants in that philosophical pit. So stick to the facts and facets of the facts — as they pertain to Capricorn.

Simply put? “Just the facts, dude.”


AquariusSome years back I read about this “home hack” wherein a small cup, like a tea cup, filled with roasted coffee beans, and then? Set a tea light candle in the middle of the beans. Not so low as to be an actual fire hazard, just nestled in, even with the top of the beans. The theory is, was, that the candle’s little tin wrapper would heat up and that would, in turn, heat the coffee beans so there would be the most pleasant aroma of roasting coffee as well as a source of heat and light. But does this really work? Not in my experience. I still have, to this day, a tea cup, fine bone china, saucer and all, filled with various roasted coffee beans, and sitting on the mantle. From time to time, I’ll drop a test candle in, and fire it up. I can smell the sulphur from the match, but I don’t usually detect the gentle aromatic “nose” of the beans, getting gently warmed by the candle’s heat. Still, even now, I have that kind of arrangement. In part, I do know that coffee beans in a vase help absorb bad odors. Might be hearsay, but it works for me. Maybe that’s the real secret. Perhaps I’m not using the best roast of bean for this. Who knows? As an Aquarius, though, this illustrates a bit of lore that I keep trying to prove correct, even if it never works. Maybe it just doesn’t work for me, as they say. Does it work, that’s the question, Aquarius, can you detect a difference?

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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