Lend me a fool’s heart and a woman’s eyes,
And I’ll beweep these comforts, worthy senators.

Shakespeare’s Timons of Athens (5.1.159)

Horoscopes for 4-11-2023

Aries

Happy birthday to the special Aries. The way I see this, what with Jupiter just frying along? Mars creating temporary tension, but Jupiter making a lot of promises? I have to watch it because Jupiter can make empty promises, or worse, the best of intentions, just short on delivery. What I’m warning you about — short on delivery. This isn’t really a fault of the stars, but the planets are apt to push forward a kind of hope that might not be reality-based, not that I know much about being “reality-based” myself, so there is that. The deal is promises, and dreams figure into this, and the trick is to not get false hopes over a perceived promise, or the promise of a promise, rather than actual delivery of what was promised. This plays out against Aries and also, for Aries, when balanced correctly. The balance is understanding that the promise is more along the lines of a wish rather than a “my word is my bond” kind of pledge, and understanding that? Or phrasing it like that? “I wish,” instead of “I promise” makes this easier to grasp, and paves a way forward.

Taurus

“Bean counters can ruin anything.” That’s one sentiment, and certainly, I’ve seen it happen. Date enough Virgo, and you’d understand, too. But this isn’t about romance manque, and the past, this is about looking towards the future, and remembering that “Bean counters can ruin anything.” What that means for Taurus?

Just because there is some almost arbitrary metric you’re supposed to achieve? Look at who set that goal, and how that other person thinks it is your Taurus self who is going to achieve that milestone. There was one company I was associated with and they kept moving their sales goals around, driven by some internal barometer that made no sense to me. But what do I know? I’m just an outside observer. There was some type of inside accounting that adjusted this on the fly, and made sense to someone. Who do you listen to? “Bean counters can ruin anything.”

Gemini

“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! Why do you keep asking me?” I was asking because it’s a leading question, and it gets to the heart of the situation, usually, quicker. But you’re Gemini, and that means, you might not want to grow up in the first place, which is also at the center of this week’s series of questions in Gemini land. Questions, and then some answers? What this amounts to is that the questions are the same, and the way you answer might be different. Then, too, there’s the chance that — I’m looking at you, my favorite Gemini — that you really aren’t sure what direction you want to go. Sure, there are ideas, but trying to select just one answer, therein is the problem. Given that everything else isn’t in Gemini, but Venus is? That Venus effect means you’re trying extra hard to please the people asking the questions when, in the fact, the real person who is most important? Gemini. So what do you want to be when you grow up?¹

Cancer

There’s an interesting reversal I’ve seen in the last few weeks. When I started out, some years back, I would start the readings with a quote from literature. That quickly evolved to a quote from Shakespeare’s endless canon, as good a secular bible as any, and for more than 20 years, I would pick a quote to fit the astrology chart I was looking at. Backwards, now, just in the last few weeks, I’ve been writing the horoscope first, then looking for a suitable quote. One astrology author I was published alongside? She would pull a quote from pop culture, very in the zeitgeist of the moment. For me, this is a subtle shift, and might be different by next week. But for gentle Moon Children, the Cancer corner of the sky? This is about doing some mundane and seemingly ordinary task, and doing it out of order.

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”

The Leo

Yes, no, yes. Or, no, yes, no. I like the first version, better. It’s about what’s ahead, and the good Leo that you are? You’re getting prepared. Some of this is simple, like I check the drive that I use for backup. Connections look good? We’re ready. The other day, I had a tablet I was working on, and it was running low on battery so plugged it into spare battery pack, just give it enough juice to make that final edit for what I was working on. A few minutes later, I notice the battery still isn’t charging. Look at the connector plugged into the tablet, solid, then I follow the wire along the surface of the kitchen table to the battery, and the final connection is only half plugged in. I pushed it into place, and the power was back on. Simple enough? So simple that it might seem like an observation that is beneath the good Leo, but here’s the deal, it’s not. Check it. Check it again. Check what you think you know is already done, “Just to be sure.”

Thank me in about a month.

Virgo

“What can I do to help?” Correct answer? “Nothing.” It’s a simple lesson, and one that I have to learn, over and over, each year, and it applies even more so I’m passing along what I’ve learned — probably the hard way — I’m passing that along to sweet Virgo. “What can I do to help?” A perfectly valid Virgo inquiry. An excellent line of questioning. That best answer? “Nothing.” We’re looking at a situation that might, or might not, be fixable. We’re looking at an event in Virgo that feels like it is about to spiral out of control — it probably is. We’re also looking at what action Virgo can take to regain control, fix, or prevent this from happening. Looks like a big nothing. Therefore? The answer to that question? What term serves Virgo best? “Nothing.”

Libra

There is a simple touchstone that applies. A simple touchstone that makes this work better — for gentle Libra. To me, this looks like a good luck token. In one of my gear bags — a briefcase — I’ve got a small Feng Shui red envelope with a single, crisp dollar bill in that envelope. It’s merely a token. It’s a gesture. One buddy is native Texan but also, like 3rd generation Chinese-American. The red envelopes were part of his upbringing. My version is strictly about a good luck charm, a pathway, and then, a reminder about setting my intentions as we all move forward. Sources and roots, maybe those are less important, but I do recall the great amusement he had when he noticed I had the red envelopes that he remembered from his childhood. In any case, this is about situation and form, and that token gesture. Like an envelope with cash in it.

Scorpio

It’s all about that tricky balance point. We’re all looking for it, but as I spun your charts round, between Mars, Venus, Aries with the Sun and the Moon? I couldn’t find that tricky balance point for Scorpio. Just not there. Just not happening. A desire devoutly sought after, and I wonder if that isn’t the clue, the desire so devoutly sought after and in that seeking? We find Scorpio solace. All I’m really looking for, for your good Scorpio self, just a degree of solace in this weird world. So the little trick, shoot for peace. Look for a fair and equitable answer. Seek that tenuous balance point. Personally, I doubt that you find it in the next few days — but the usual disclaimers apply — “I’m willing to be wrong.”

Sagittarius

One of the greatest loves in my career? I get to talk to people. Lots of people. In its height? I could see as many as a hundred people in a weekend. That was then. These days, I’ve scaled way back, but talking to people is still part of the gig. The problem with talking to people? Sometimes my typical Sagittarius exuberance gets the best of me, and I get carried away with an analogy, or metaphor, or just plain excited about elements in a chart. Potentials. Then I’m off and running with one goal, a single direction I think is most important, and it well could be, but it wasn’t what the poor soul wanted to hear about. It happens. Typical Sagittarius energy, best of intentions and running over the people closest to us. Which, as this week moves ever onward, we must guard against. It’s that excessive use of happiness, that “Wow, look at this!” A sense of excitement? Not everyone gets it, and while nice? We must make sure we don’t run over people who need a moment to digest what we’re trying to convey.

Capricorn

So close and yet, this week qualifies as a “Near Miss.” Close, but not quite. So very, very close, but no, unless you’re working with large, found numbers, maybe measure in yards and miles, not inches and feet? That works. The broad, sweeping generalizations are far more effective than detailed, minuscule, microscopic details that demand a degree of precision that sweet Capricorn can’t manifest at this moment. Usually? Usually you’re good at the finite details that drive everyone but a basic Virgo crazy. There are cycles within cycles, and this is a simple, circular reference to not making a big deal out of the little details. Some days, the most important part is in the terms and conditions, the fineprint. But this is one of those weeks, just check the box, “Agree to terms,” and move on. You might have made an error, just agreeing to the terms, but let someone else argue about that. That’s why we have lawyers and Virgos: leave the details to detail-oriented people, and this isn’t a good time for Capricorn to be concerned with the seemingly endless details.

Aquarius

I keep, on hand, a large stack of “Mercury is Retrograde” projects. It’s a long list of half-finished chores, goals, and tasks that I wait until I’ve got a little free time. Like when Mercury is Retrograde? See: not a one of these projects is new. This is old material, previously covered, been meaning to get around to it, and now is the time to stack those projects up. Been meaning to get around to sorting through the books I want to donate. Up-cycle, re-cycle, or just donate? That’s a favorite example, but then, I’ve also got a long-lost manuscript, a piece of fiction leftover from the old Austin days, a novel-length work that I have to finish editing. Maybe update? I’m not sure. I had a couple of interested publishers, but “Needs work.” I can polish it. I can work on upcoming horoscopes, while I fix the fit and finish on those. What this next week is about, for Aquarius? Get those projects out and get ready to work on them. I’ve found, having them listed and at the ready, sure helps for this next Mercury in Retrograde, just being ready helps. Get out the list of “Mercury is Retrograde” projects, and look at what can be done.

Pisces

The shadow zone? The prep work? The presaged? My favorite? “As ordained by the oracle,” and try to repeat that with as stentorian a delivery as possible. Makes it sound like I meant it. Personally, the oracle is off its rails. The usual harbingers, the subtle signs, the way this normally reads? None of that seems to work, not at the moment. Not now, and not for the foreseeable Pisces future. The usual elements upon which we depend? The way this points one way or another? None of the usual indicators are indicating anything like it should be. In more comic times? The magnetic compass with a single needle spins like a ceiling fan, or a prop on a turbojet, faster and faster, with no proper indication of where our gentle Pisces might be at this moment. “No directions?”

Remember, “Not all who wander are lost.”

1. “I want to be less annoyed by Sagittarius horoscopes!” ↩