Horoscopes for 9-26-2023

“A witchcraft drew me hither”

Antonio in 12th Night (V.i.50)

Horoscopes for 9-26-2023

Full Moon 6°1’ Aries/Libra Sept 29, 4:57 AM
Mars Quincunx Uranus 4:00 AM Oct 1, 22°45’ Libra/Taurus


Libra I listened while a single mom I know was bitching up a storm about buying school uniforms for her kids. When I had to wear a uniform for school? I complained bitterly about the lack of individualism. As an adult-aged person, that takes a different turn; the uniforms make perfect sense to me. Same kind of shirt, same color pants, across the board, much easier, just buy enough to have one to wear and one in the laundry. Along a similar vein, I started to wear my own kind of uniform. I toyed with attire for my work over the years, and I settled on what is most comfortable for me — basically black shorts and a loud shirt, with a bandanna on top. I wear this for work, out for casual events, and most of everything I attend is deemed “casual,” so a uniform, for me, works well. I don’t have to think about what I’m going to wear, and there’s no time spent trying to see “if this goes with that,” as it’s all the same. It all goes together because I’ve carefully refined a uniform look for myself, over the years. It’s simple, comfortable, and I’ll never be in style because I’ll never be out of style. This is why the idea of the uniform is so appealing to me. A simple, straightforward single style of clothes to be worn. Less time thinking about it, and more time doing whatever it is we want to do. How does the idea of a uniform apply to Libra?


The “sling” became the natural replacement for hanging a backpack over one’s shoulder with just a single strap. To be honest, though, it is a logical step in the evolution of the EDC crap. I need more than a couple of pockets, but less than a briefcase. Personally, I’ve used messenger-styled bags for years. That’s my preference. As a style, though, I have to question if it ever really caught on. Scorpio?

astrofish.net/travel for appearances

A sling makes perfect sense, and yet, the single strap design seems a little too limited in function. I like to carry a tablet, charger, cables, power bricks, pens, pencils, notebook, and a book to read. Sounds like a perfect fit for a sling. It is and it isn’t. I still prefer the outdated, outmoded “messenger style” baggage. That’s what works for me. The sling, even a buddy of mine used one for a little while, but he went back to using a backpack, although, I don’t think he’s ever threaded both shoulder straps on his frame. I think the sling’s design is just not enough or too much. Before you buy anything, Scorpio? Check to see if you will really use it. I mean, I looked at one the other day, and thought about it, but what it amounts to? I wouldn’t really every carry it.


To me, this looks a little like a recent familial exchange, like a suggestion that I was a little off the rails. I must admit, I’m not sure I ever was on the rails, so how could I veer from that, to head off said rails? Not sure how that works. Besides, family, what are you going to do? I would never argue with that judgement, though, that I was off the rails, so to speak. I doubt I was ever anywhere near the rails and that would imply the straight and narrow. I’ve always navigated by my own star, and let that shine the light on the way that suits me. Not always a good one. With the oblique, tangential, off-center influences? Consider this a good time to admit that our Sagittarius selves may not adhere to the stricter definition of the “straight and narrow.” Doesn’t mean that the internal compass is broken, just the one that the outside world might judge us with. Or, like me, “Were we really ever on the rails?”


A buddy, he probably shouldn’t have been driving, he popped the car, it’s a low-slung sedan, older model, not really a low-rider, but almost, and anyway? He popped it into gear, hit the gas, and the tires spun backward, popping his rear tires up and over a parking curbstone, and that meant the rear tires were in the air. No traction. Tires spun freely as we all acknowledged that there was a sudden cessation of motion, and crawling out of the car, we all look, and most of us laughed. It was a small mistake, compounded by the way the full moon hits at Capricorn, and there we were, the car was stuck, and we in a hurry to get someplace. Giggling like school children, and besides a scrape on the car’s frame itself, no damage besides the driver’s pride. There is that. A simple mistake, a quick check, and little less haste would’ve prevented this from happening. That’s kind of a clue, isn’t it? We all piled out, lifted the rear bumper and rolled the car forward, and wheels made contact. I was amused. It wasn’t my car, and I wasn’t in a hurry to get anywhere.

Capricorn: it was an avoidable mistake.


It’s time to have “one of those talks.” The nature of the talk can vary from individual to individual, but it looks like one of those uncomfortable discussions about sex or drugs, infidelity, and consequences of actions that might, or might not, be inevitable. The familiar echo? “Do the crime, do the time.” My personal preference? “No crime, no time.”

I’m not Aquarius.

This about actions, consequences, and then, talking it through, or giving one enough of a fair warning so that the action — and its consequences — can be avoided. Fair warning? Just reminder, this is a good time to have “That talk” with the other, non-Aquarius people who need to be reminded. Repercussion are swift, and usually painful. Talk the talk, Aquarius, or have that talk, even if it is a little uncomfortable.


“I’m spiritual not religious” became a buzz phrase a few years back. It implied faith but not constrained by religious dogma. My experience was one where that phrase left a little too much leeway in terms of what was, or wasn’t, ethical. Pisces needs some guardrails at the moment. Not for forever, but for the next few days, maybe a few weeks? Some guidelines, some dogmatic rules, some type of structure is devoutly wished for. To some, this is narrowly within the constraints of a highly dogmatic religion, I prefer a more liberal interpretation, but for gentle Pisces? It needs to be something more than just some good wishes. Package it however you want, but make an effort to follow the rules. Most of them. Some of them. OK, most of them.


I looked at the retail giant, and there was splash of “Daily deals!” One item caught my attention, just technical bauble that I don’t really need, but it would be kind of cool, and it was advertised, in big red letters, “32% off!” In my distant youth, I’ve worked behind the counter, and I know a thing or two about prices. The old trick was double the price then take a percentage off, so the customer thought it was a deal. I’m not sure if the retail giant was doing that, as well, just felt fishy. Besides, in this era of on-the-minute delivery? I could wait and see. The price, and its advertised discount percentage fluctuated up and down over the next two days. I’m sure they track my attention to that one item, but the price never dropped low enough to make it worth my while. Aries stop. Aries stop, and think about my last comment, “But the price never dropped low enough to make it worth my while.” Apply that to your current situation, this week.


Standing joke, one I find funny? “In my next life, I want to come back as a weatherman in Texas.” San Antonio, Austin, Temple, even Ft. Worth. The reasoning is quite sound, and since I started watching the weather, like an old person, which I now am? I noticed that most of these guys are wrong, like almost all the time, and yet, they have jobs. Why I still watch the weather guys? Entertainment. Odd facts. A summary of the previous days’ numbers, and looking forward. Always figure they are guessing, but I don’t know. I use the position the planets to make educated guesses. There’s a whole system behind what I do, and I surmise that it’s the same for the weathermen. What this amounts to, though, is right, wrong, and a decent direction. All I can do is point.

Taurus: jump. Or amble, perambulate, walk, run, hop, skip, whatever works. Move. Move in a specific direction towards a stated Taurus goal. Don’t be surprised, if like that local weather guy, you’re wrong. It’s more a matter of movement, not point of destination.


While this is definitely not the real situation? Easiest way for me to express this energy, now unloosed in generous Gemini? Think of the typical Mercury Retrograde hijinks. Nothing goes as planned, accidents happen, it’s the other person’s fault for not listening to your good Gemini advice. And so on. We’re setting up for great changes underfoot, and up ahead, but in order to get there from here? There’s a certain kind of patience, and understand that whatever is set in place after this Full Moon along the Libra/Aries axis? Soon as that’s over, just chill out. Calm down. It’s not going to go according to your current Gemini plan. Doesn’t mean it won’t happen and doesn’t mean pieces won’t fall into place, but it’s not moving at speed that you recognize.


I can clearly recall the first time I clicked on a link in a humor column and that link led to a snarky post that was vaguely related to the source column. Shortly thereafter, I was linking to weird stuff from my horoscopes. Few of the links stand the test of time, The URLs go cold, die off, and the URLs with no traffic wind up on the cosmic internet waste heap. Some of are reused, but most frequently? Just abandoned. I’ve tried, over the years, to delete the unused, no longer active links, and looking at more than 30 years of electronic distribution? There’s a lot of dead material to be trimmed. Individually, if you want to help? Sure, page through the archives and point me to specific links that no longer work. That’s kind of stygian task in itself, and I really don’t expect that. But do think, as we roll through this nasty full moon, think about ways to cut back on the crap, the material that accumulates over the years in the Cancer Moon Children’s world view, and what needs to be adjusted. Or you can just make a list of dates when the pointers are no longer effective, that works, for now, as well.

The Leo

One time, I spent a lot of money with a guru, and the sum total of the wisdom? What I remember? “What’s the next right thing?” Implied, of course, in my mind, the longer version of the question, “What is the next — most correct for me and the world — step that I can take today, this morning, right now?” I can easily overthink just about my situation, and not wanting to do that? Consider a short form. For me, I just ask, “Next right thing?” For The Majestic Leo, let’s shorten this question to a single, interrogative word, “Next?” Making it simple, that helps, and making it a single word, that keeps it simple, and posing it as a question, instead of a command? All works in your favor. Faced with weirdness, and to some, impossible odds? The simple Leo exhortation for the days ahead? “Moving on, what’s next?”


The Austin (Texas) traffic feed was picked up by the robots and placed in my default news feeds. Traffic was at a standstill, and then as I scrolled further down the feeds, traffic was still at standstill, different intersection. Also: highway traffic was stopped. I was almost done when I happened across a single line, “Motorcycle and single car collision.” I didn’t click through as these rarely end well. I know, I used to ride a big street bike, and there’s a reason I don’t. I’m cautious, and I try to remember to look that second time, but no, these rarely, if ever, end well. Our street bikes weren’t more than a few hundred pounds of frame and motor, plus wheels. That weighted against a modern passenger car at 2,000 or more pounds? Odds just aren’t very good. It’s not a winning combination, and that’s why I didn’t bother to click through and look at the story line. As a good Virgo, when you hear that high-pitch whine of a fast motor scooter, look twice. If you’re on a bike of some form? Wear a helmet, and assume that the other vehicles on the road are trying to run you over. I used to “ride offensively,” and given the current climate? No matter how you’re getting there? Virgo: be on the lookout.


About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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