1.12.1998

Week of: 1/12-18

“Madam, though Venus govern your desires,
Saturn is dominator over mine.”
— Aaron in Shakespeare’s “Titus Andronicus” [II.iii.30-31]

Aries
Business is trending well this week as events rise from bad to good. No one likes Mondays, and your backside has been dragging lately. Your computer keyboard is calling you and a long line of figures needs to be attacked. You just don’t have the energy to get after it. Things aren’t much better Tuesday. By mid-week, you’re ready to conquer your to-do list of the past two days. Such prognostications are not always exact, but it looks good.

Taurus
I researched your current situation in several astrology text books but most focused on romance, love and feeling good. Somehow, I think traditional astrology doesn’t account for the negative effect of your little ruling planet, Venus, which is doing a backward tango this month. Despite the “theoretical” positive effect of Venus being in Capricorn, I wonder if things are really that good…. Watch out for minor mishaps with the significant other; if you don’t have a significant other, watch out for minor mishaps with an insignificant other.

Gemini
“Keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel,” as the old song goes. You’re prone to sudden outbursts and other irrational behaviors this week. I call this a creative force at work within the “Gemini Universe” of which you’re the center. There’s a chance this stuff blows up in your face, but then, chances are that this irrational behavior actually leads to a major breakthrough in communicatios. The downside is that your friends will not understand any of this. Just tell them that I said it was “all OK.”

Cancer
The World According to Cardinal Water Signs (that would be Cancer) is off to a good start. In fact, it’s a good week all the way around. While a few disturbances ripple your particular personal pond, I don’t forsee big waves disturbing your emotional equilibrium. So when someone starts recommending medication, think twice. I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think you need psychotropic chemicals to achieve emotional balance this week.

Leo
Leo is definitely the sign of the artist. Too bad because this week, you feel like the angst-driven, half-mad artist type. You have the best of creative ideas but like writer’s block or a creative impasse, you can’t seem to get it all on paper. Or whatever you particular medium is. The ideas are there but the juices aren’t flowing. Like a stopped-up toilet, everything sort of stinks. Now, in an effort to help, let me suggest a plumber’s friend: the plunger. This might work really well if you consider this on an allegorical level rather than the real thing. Do something to get yourself unplugged.

Virgo : Romance is a-waiting in the wings for you. There is something
fresh, something new, something almost “other-worldly” preening itself,
and making sure that not a hair is out of place, and this new romantic
entanglement is on the sidelines of life, waiting for the big game. Now,
what does that mean? It means that there is a fresh romantic ideal just
about to be realized. Don’t hurry a good thing. In fact, don’t rush
this one at all. It will be here when it’s here, and not until then.
Just be a assured that there is something coming along soon enough.

Libra
If I were to graph this week it would it would start high, then drop at mid-week to a low point and by the weekend end high. Just like the Dow Jones. Up early, sagging at the middle and closing up. The cause? The Moon. By the time the Moon hits Libra this weekend, you’ll be fine, and that old Libra equilibrium will be back in place. Justice for all, and for all a good time.

Scorpio
I’m forced to dip into New Age Speak to explain this week: Learn about yourself. I’m not advocating isolationism, but it isn’t a bad idea. It’s a golden opportunity to entertain yourself with what you call your mind. Use it or lose it. It’s a good time to get in touch with what we in Texas call your inner Bubba. This process usually involves chicken-fried steak, BBQ and iced tea.

Sagittarius
You are a Fire sign. This means you often burn with an artist’s creative fervor and zeal. That burning sensation — hopefully not that burning smell — is demanding that you do something creative. That doesn’t mean you have to write
or draw or paint, but even working on the old truck can be a form of an
inspired artistic endeavor. Making my truck run would take a small miracle, but it’s a week for miracles. Get ready for one be an active part of the process.

Capricorn
In some cultures, dream time is considered reality. The Western ideal of reality is considered a waking dream. This sort of confusion will by followed by some peace, which comes this weekend. The rules for the week are simple: dream but be prepared to have an illusion or two shattered. The weekend is a different kind of dream time; watch out for compulsive behaviors like golf, ice fishing and excessive couch potato sports.

Aquarius
This week is marked by erratic changes in your energy level. Your willpower is strong, and your ability to make dreams into reality is equally strong. The only problem is that there isn’t enough of you to go around. How to be in two places at once? Can’t be done unless science comes up with a miracle cloning device. Figure out how to separate goals and work on them. Concentrate your focus, even though you really want to stand back and just look at the big picture.

Pisces
Romance gets a bump on the head this week. Maybe it’ll feel more like a sharp poke with a big a stick, but it’s just little tap. Some people would refer to this bump on the head as reality but being a good Pisces, you know that reality has nothing to do with you. Problem areas for you include romance, but then, I could always safely say that romance is always a problem. Just be prepared to
assess a romantic situation more thoroughly once the fog from the head injury lifts.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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