Kramer Wetzel

About: Kramer Wetzel
The Fishing Guide to the Stars…

Born and raised in a little town in East Texas, attending schools in Texas and New Mexico, with college and university degrees earned in Arizona, Kramer Wetzel considers himself a typical Sagittarius. He is an ordained minister, Honorary Doctorate, Certified Psychic, and holds horary cross-training in Tarot, Runes, and Tea Leaf Reading.

With an eye for the absurd, an ear for Texas dialect, both honed in a trailer park in South Austin — before trailer parks in South Austin were cool — his primary love is the written word, with the Western-styled horoscope his most popular format.

First published in 1987, online since 1993, these horoscopes are popular, as well as one of the longest, continuously running of its kind —

From global travel to a love of Shakespeare’s canon, to bass fishing around Austin, and bay fishing along the Texas Gulf Coast, Bubba said it best, “Kramer is a Zen Koan wrapped in a Hawaiian shirt and sandals.” Sometimes, Kramer thinks he was Shakespeare in a past life.

Currently, he lives on the north side of San Antonio, TX.

Fresh horoscopes are available online, books and back-catalog are available from Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

Personal consultations available via the website. Prefer in person? Appearances are listed at with the most current dates.

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The websites:

  • home
  • blog
  • Astrology Workshop
  • The Portable Mercury Retrograde
  • fgs100_0680


    All About Kramer Wetzel

    Original Bio —

    Not many things can explain him but here are a few. Kramer was born and raised in a small town in East Texas. He has degrees in English literature and considers Shakespeare his soulmate. Kramer sometimes thinks he was Shakespeare in a previous lifetime, but that’s another story.

    After many national and international exploits, he decided to make his home in the heart of Texas, the capital city of Austin. He currently resides by the shores of Town Lake, which is really a fork of the Colorado River, in a modest trailer at Shady Acres Trailer Park less than one linear mile from the State Capitol building (which is taller than the one in Washington). He hopes to add indoor plumbing to his residence in the immediate future. “Yes Kramer, we all have dreams.”

    Like any good Sagittarius, he has lived a number of lifetimes in this one: motorcycle mechanic, nightclub owner, computer guru and now his current, unparalleled specialty: Fishing Guide to the Stars. From his careful study of mythology to his contemporary journalistic documentation that Texans are descended from a race of Space Aliens, Kramer is a professor of the human condition.

    Portions of that bio almost pre-date the internet. Almost.

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