Monthly News of the World 9/93

Monthly News of the World 9/93

copyright Kramer Wetzel, Austin, Texas

Look out for this next month, we all have some real stuff coming up. Most of us, though, should be concerned with repairing the damage left by the summer.

Aries: Now, more than ever, is the time to find some balance in your romantic endeavors. You have some tough luck, yet, you can turn it all around, if you are willing to work at it. Go for that new encounter-you are strong enough to make it work out for the best.

Taurus: Hold on to your wildly erratic emotions this month as romance pushes and pulls at your heartstrings. Matter of fact, skip the romance altogether-it would be safer, you know.

Gemini: Neither lady luck, nor old man river is running smoothly for you this month. Which doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life. Look on the bright side: what goes down, must resurface again. And again. (and again and again….)

Cancer: The real question is whether you adopted bass fishing or heroin as a hobby. If it wasn’t for bad luck, you might feel like you have no luck at all this month. While that would seem to be true, you will also find that your energy level can reach an all-time low in the middle of this month. Things are slowly turning around, though, and your income indicates it would be a good time to start shopping for a (new) car.

Leo: You have some powerful motivation coming at the end of the month. Until then, though, it is best to try and recuperate from last month. Still, remember your best Leo characteristics: Party on!

Virgo: So you’re another year older, none the wiser, and still feeling rather randy from the hot summer. Look out for a romance which feels like a late summer fling. You should pay attention to that little voice inside of you which tells you what to do; however, consider changing medication if you have too many internal voices telling you what to do.

Libra: If you haven’t struck it rich yet, then you might wonder about all of this astrology stuff. But you should be having good, if not outrageous, fortune falling your way. Of course, we all wish we could suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune… This is a good time to play Romeo, too. If that’s what your little heart desires.

Scorpio: Ever notice that you Scorpios tend to attract a lot of unwarranted attention, especially as the “bad boys” of the zodiac? As your birthday gets closer, you will notice that you seem to drawing more people to yourself, like moths to a flame. Exercise caution, though, because you wouldn’t want to put out any fire with all your water.

Sagittarius: Don’t say I didn’t warn you about trying to hold onto the summer’s money. Oh well, maybe you will win the lottery. Then again, maybe not. Business may seem lucky, but who wants straight financial luck? While some of your luck may return, remember that luck is a gamble, and trouble is sure thing.

Capricorn: There was a time when magic ruled the air, and it’s back for you, especially if you have ever thought about getting out of the drab 9 to 5 work day, then there is no better time than right now. Go for the big chance which will make you happy, reach for the stars (just try to keep a foot on the ground).

Aquarius: Now that you have pursued that new career, it’s time for some romance. In fact, you are particularly drawn in a romance direction this month. Look out for being blind-sided by love, though, quick and dirty romance is just that: quick and dirty (but fun, too).

Pisces: If last month was a good month to be a Pisces, then this month is even better. Look towards the things in your life which enhance beauty. Ask yourself how you would look in a new sports car. Would that help matters? Sure!

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2021 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.