Week of: October 7-13

Week of: October 7-13

wish Genie a happy b-day: GenieEasy@aol.com

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Other astrologers will be telling you about how bad things are right now, but, being the good person that I am, I will beg to differ just a little bit. There is a massive conflagration in the sky which gives you all kinds of new depth and meaning to this week. Somebody done lit a fire under your backside, and you can go with it! Remember, if life gives you lemons, go find some Mexican beer to go with them (lemonade is too wimpy of a solution, to New Age. I mean, let’s get real).

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: Dear Taurus! This is another good week for you. I would definitely recommend going out to the gallery (you know the one) and you will find that this is a good time to find the perfect picture to add to your den: dog playing poker on the ultimate medium, black velvet. I would suggest a flea market, too, since most of the galleries these days are full of “SouthWestern” stuff which is really kind of pointless with its pastels and washed out colors. You want some art which has depth and meaning. And cute. it’s got to be cute, too. Look for the dogs. A little Star Trek on black velvet is nice, as well.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Clean house this week. Okay, since that’s too hard, try straightening up the place. Okay, since that’s too hard, plan on hiring a house cleaner. Okay, since that’s still too hard, think about getting out of the hose and forgetting the whole mess for a while. You will feel like you want to stay home and clean, but when faced with the formidable task, you will find that you aren’t up to the task just yet. Just don’t let me hear you complain about house cleaning chores.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Each sun sign gets divvied up into three parts, early, middle and late degrees. So this is what is happening for each subdivision of Cancer: early-making money; middle-running away from work; late-looking for a new job. Do you see a pattern here? Using my new computerized fish finder, the obvious pattern has to do with upheaval at work. Sort of like a country song about, “Take this job and …” I’ll let you fill in the blanks.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Leos do well this week because there is a fortunate Moon/Mars thing which is further strengthened by a lot of other stuff in other fire signs. I would emphasize your creative ability this week. Like, when you get pulled over by a state trooper, and it turns out that you can fabricate a really good story about why you were in a hurry. The way the heavens look right now, they would actually believe you. Remember to mention that you gave money to the Troopers Association, too. Your ability to generate fiction will be greatly enhanced. Write to me, and let me hear the whoppers you get away with this week.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: work with me on some nice, new metaphors for what is going on in the lovely sign of Virgo: catfish. Now, most folks will agree that catfish ain’t the prettiest fish in the world, but once you’ve skinned one, the delicate flesh is the tastiest kind there is. Now imagine yourself along the banks of the Brazos river, dropping some bait deep into a pool to snag one of these ugly old bottom feeders. It’s a clear, freshwater steam, and that catfish is going to taste just like the stuff that he’s been eating… think how good it will be and you can move beyond its unattractive appearance. Find beauty where you don’t normally look for this week.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: There is some things really stirring up in the heavens, and you will find that you are face to face with several large changes that you might not be too comfortable with. there is evidence to suggest of some serious shifts in the balance of power at home. There is also a similar shift in the balance of power at work. If I don’t know better, I would suggest that you have been down sized. The trick, this week, is not to let your emotions get control of the situation–don’t let your visceral body over rule what your rational brain knows is correct.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I have finally uncovered the perfect action spot, at this time of the year, for a good Scorpio: the Fire Ant Festival in Marshall, Texas. Perfect party for you guys–just up your alley, so to speak. Did you know the Fire Ant is an import into Texas? One of our worst pesky dusty dwellers didn’t start out here. Like that fire ant, you Scorpios might want to consider cleaning out the closet right now. Nothing can clean like an army of ants, and this would be a good time to do just that.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Sagittarius has this unnatural good luck and resiliency not found in anything but good polyester trousers. And like those darned old polyester pants, the good luck just won’t go away. There is, however, a problem this week. Unless you really do fish for a living, you might find that you want to spend too much time with your important hobbies (play), and not enough time with money generating activities (work). If I were a Sagittarius, I would consider scheduling a little vacation time this week.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Like any good Capricorn, I’m sure you have dreamed about having yourself on the television, late at night, you know, “Love Connection.” Or would it be “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”? This week, either real or imagined, you will find that you get some prominent publicity, like being a featured star on on one of the aforementioned shows. The only thing that might not be too good, if the Channel 7 News Team shows up on your doorstep, I would be a little careful.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: That big dude in the sky, Uranus, starts his forward movement again. And along with that, there will be certain “challenges” for you Aquarius rebel without a cause types. Now, I can’t tell you what everyone will experience, but there are a more than a few Aquarius types who will encounter some dramatic changes, all which seem to start this week. Remember that the change is good for you, you like, even embrace the change. It’s like moving from indoor.outdoor carpet to Astroturf.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Pisces really have all the luck this week. No, there isn’t anything specific happening in their quarter of the sky, it’s just that there is nothing evil happening to them this week. How about a little Zen for the week? “Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing…Thus, taking advantage of what is, we recognize the the utility of what is not.” That’s from Lao Tzu. And let me know if you Pisces don’t get it.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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