Week of: October 14-20

Week of: October 14-20

Aries [3/23-4/20]: It’s that old half birthday time when, with oncoming cool weather, you need to figure out what works and what don’t work. With that idea considered and put aside., now look at some other things in your life, like the real world stuff called work. ugly word for most people, but you, as a a good Aries, revel in it. And you’ve been working a lot lately, too, haven’t you? Now, what I’m going to suggest is that you don’t get pissed off at the boss, and then have you storm out of the office, only to regret this action next week when you have to stand in the unemployment line. You are able to effect some changes at work, just try to be a little sneaky about it.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: Well, there is a burst of energy this week, driven by the elusive phase of the moon. What this means is that you are in a unique position to do one of two things with that old fishing buddy of yours, either fight or kiss and make up. Being the helpful soul that I am, I would recommend the latter. Use this burst of energy to help set matters right with your partner. This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships, either but to a little bit of everything in the way you deal with other people.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: There are one or two minor influence this week on you poor Gemini’s: one is a positive little romance thing, something left over from the summer, a mere flirtation which might escalate into a full-fledged affair of the heart. The other little influence is more difficult, and involves some kind of inner transformation. I would recommend fly fishing as a source of inner delight. It’s quiet, cool, calculated, sort of like a test of wits against the fish. Find a deep little eddy somewhere, a quiet backwater, and ease a fly onto the surface of the water. This ain’t a a week for bottom feeders.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Times like this can feel really trying for a Cancer. If you had bought me a boat, like I had subliminally suggested, we could be out on the calming influence of the lake this weekend, reeling in fish and telling stories about the one that got away. But you didn’t buy the boat, so be careful this week, and try to get away this weekend. Some BBQ would make you feel ever so much better, and all that meat in your tummy would help you forget what a jerk your boss is this week.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Okay Leo listen up good now: you got that Lone Ranger figure, Mars, all over your happy butt. As much as you would like to, this is definitely NOT the week to fish with dynamite. You keep thinking that a stick of TNT is just like a little ole firecracker. The only image that comes to my mind at time like this, and with your planets the way they are is the cartoon character the Roadrunner. I would heartily recommend staying away from Acme products this week. No rocket sled antics, no incendiary devices, just plain old hard work pays off best.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Catfish one week, and now “significant others’ this week? You Virgos are wondering what is up with the FGS Headquarters. Why nothing! Just reporting the facts. So what this means is that Venus is in all alone in Virgo this week, making your taste in the finer things in life, that much finer. And nothing could be finer than a diner with a good chicken fried steak. Or fried catfish. The bad news is that I wouldn’t look too hard for the catfish in the river this week, just find a good restaurant. If you know of any good chicken fried steak places, let me know.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: This is my Daddy’s birthday, I want all of the FGS Faithful to send my father a B-Day E-mail. His address is ottowetzel@aol.com. Strange thing about it, we both have the same last name. So what does this mean for the rest of the loyal Libra readers? It means that there is a higher degree of clarity this week than there has been in a while. In the tradition of the East (India, not East Coast), though, the birthday week can make for hazardous driving conditions. I would be careful about your method of transportation during the next week or so. Don’t get too excited.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: The deal is this: you have chosen a path to follow. You have made up your mind (you Scorpios are good at that). Now, you have a few little “challenges” testing your resolve along the way. I would call them bumps in the road, rather than challenges. Between that, and a voracious appetite, you have quite the week ahead for you. The other thing I would definitely recommend this week is fining some decent “all you can eat” buffets in order to slake your quest for dinner.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: I still feel like Shakespeare’s Henry the Fifth, screaming, “Once more unto the breach dear friends…” and if you would like the rest of that quote, it’s in Henry V, Act III, Scene i, lines 1-14. The reason I’m talking about Henry is because he beat the odds, and you can do so this week, too, if your lucky. And a decent Sagittarius is always lucky. Gather up your courage, line up your meager ducks, and sail back into the face of adversity because you can win.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: You feel like you are tired of me making snide comments about Capricorns, money and Multi-Level Marketing scams, er, schemes. Get used to it. There is going to be a special someone who comes into your life this week, and that special person is going to try and soak you for your life savings. I have always recommend that the best place to store money is under the mattress. That way you can always rest easy because you know where everything is. Don’t tell anyone about the extra stash of cash under the bed.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: While you start out as the stable one, by the end the week, you will experience all kinds of wild and hairy mood changes. Furthermore, you are going to be motivated to act rashly by the time the weekend gets here. I don’t care if you do live in Texas, now is not a good time to punctuate your point to your employer by threatening him a chainsaw. Although you really think this would make a good, solid point, some of the dripping irony is missed.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: It’s another long, dark night of the soul this week. Well, I would be much less concerned about the “long and dark night of soul” stuff, given that most Pisces have survived up to now. The other problem which is going to surface this week is some kind of new little demon associated with the day too day stuff around the house. Or, a better expression might be, “problems back at the ranch.”

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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