Week of: November 11-17

Week of: November 11-17

“If we shadows have offended/Think but this, and all is mended,/That you have but slumb’red here/While these visions did appear.”
Puck in Act V of Shakespeare’s MidSummer’s Night’s Eve.

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Last week you were yelling “Die Yuppie Scum” at fish in the lake. This week, you are favoring the thought of using automatic assault rifles to take a single deer, seeing as how it’s deer season here. Imagine poor little Bambi, lined up in the sights of your Uzi or Mac-10, or an AK-47 with a big old banana clip in it holding thousands of rounds. What I’m trying to warn you desperate Aries about right now, what I’m trying to get you to do, is to stay away from overkill.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: I had to do a little research on this one, but what you, my poor Taurus friend, has lined up against you this week will feel like a little bit of everything. If you’re not having problems with your lover, you might. and if it’s not your lover, then it might be mother or father, and if it’s not them it might other family members like brother or sister, and if it’s not them, it could be your boss, or other employees. Just because some, or all, of these people will disagree with you this week is no reason to be paranoid. The effects of these various influences only at for a few days, at best (or worst). and I did you tell you about them so you can avoid the conflicts.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Gemini’s are not particularly noted for their tenacity or, fox that matter, for their dedication. This isn’t a condemnation, just casual observation. Instead, the vivacious Gemini is noted for being entertaining (never dull), and always on the go. The deal is this: this week, you find yourself a little more willing to dig into a particular subject, get a chance to deeply research a project, and maybe even develop some of the aforementioned missing tenacity. Then again, maybe not.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Clarity is coming for a brief visit. Better get the guest bedroom ready. This means that there will be a precious little bit of insight into some of the current trauma associated with work. Relief? Probably not. But the insight means that you can forge ahead with work, relived in knowing where the problems come from. Admitting there is a problem doesn’t cure dudely squat, but it does get the cards on the table.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: In one of those e funny little faxes that gets sent around from office to office, there is a rule (Schultz’s Speculation): “If you can’t be right, be wrong at the top of your voice.” Look, this is a mighty fine idea some of the time, but right now, it ain’t. No matter how right you think you are, it would really be best this week if you were to restrain the bit about telling other people how right you are at the top of your voice. Authority figures, like men who were starched uniforms and aviator shades (and drive cars with little cherry lights on them), will pose you with problems. Make sure whatever hunting or fishing permit you use this week is up to date.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: You certainly have one of those weeks unfolding right now, don’t you? Best possible advice while Mr. Mars is in your little section of the sky is to actively pursue romance. In other words, go out and chase someone you are interested in down. The key here is action. It’s like the old lottery sales gimmick, “you can win if you don’t play” so while you’re at it, play a little. No, I’m not talking about the lottery, I’m talking about love. Romance. Fire up a an old flame, or start a new fire.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Poor Libra, to have this happen so soon after your birthday, too, but there is a little planetary lesson going on this week that has to do with self-sacrifice. Let me explain: a little bit of “giving up the good life” this week can yield ample rewards next week. In fact, you don’t feel like giving up anything because her majesty, Venus, is in your sign pushing everyone of your hedonistic little buttons. But there is a reward for a week long period of abstinence from whatever vice it is: next week, you get to more than twice as much good stuff if you make the gesture towards a more pious lifestyle this week.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: This is actually the beginning a strong lunar phase for you, my dear and sweet Scorpio friend. The New Moon sets a pace for you for the next 228 days which is really strong. If you happen to have a birthday this week, drop me a line…. I want to hear about how good it is. You are at the beginning of a serious rebirth cycle. Bubba, go ahead and get that new motor for the boat because you’ve got a great season just ahead.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Speaking of great season ahead, looks like you are just now starting to see some major light at the end of major long tunnel, and there is hope for a lot of things that you’ve been waiting on. It’s a harvest time for Sag. Reap what you have sown sort of thing. Like, remember when you had a chance to clear away some trash in the emotional backyard of last last summer? That clearing out of old stuff, getting rid of old baggage should begin to pay off now. In other words, you did the homework, now you can pass the test.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Ever get out on the lake when there is that light mist rising from the surface of the lake itself? Sort of a fog. You know, where the air is just a little cooler than the lake temperature, you get to see the water vapor forming its own little cloud, right there, early in the morning? Well, that’s what it’s like this week because you can see fog coming off the surface, and, in the same breath, you can see the same fog disappearing.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: At long last, you will finally feel like the rest of the family is listening to you. Unless, of course, you come from a family where everyone thinks that he or she (even the dog) is an Elvis Impersonator. Then you got trouble because Elvis impersonators always demand center stage. But, if your family is less normal, and there are fewer Elvis types, then you will find that you are attracting more than your fair share of the attention. Get them old domestic disputes in order. No need to have a retraining order sworn out on the old Mother In Law.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Okay, dear Pisces, I’m going to save you some money this week. Then, after I save you all that money, you can send me a portion of it because you listened to my sage advice. Is it a deal? Okay, no games of chance this week. No lottery. No bingo (Mama ain’t going to like that one). No going to the slots on the Indian Reservation for a little bit of fun. This ain’t the week for such things. Your luck has taken a brief vacation. Now thing about all that money I just saved you in bingo, and think about how I need a new boat….

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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