Week of: November 4-10

Week of: November 4-10

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president; I’m beginning to believe it.
— Clarence Darrow

Aries [3/23-4/20]: This is a good week for you. The problem this week, is that you ever fun loving fishing partner is going to be a bit put off his minnow bucket because it seems like you have stern, serious streak running through your body this week. It’s all business to you. “Die Yuppie Scum!” might not be quit the correct battle cry when tossing a line into the lake. I’d tell you to lighten up, but that’s not going happen this week.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: It’s your half birthday time, a quaint tradition going back to the college days, when you get to celebrate the fact that you are six months older. In astrological terms, it’;s a turning point for you because the Sun is opposite you, and this means you are going to assess yourself, your goals, and the direction you have taken since your birthday. One of the ills of modern society is that it does not properly address this important event, the half birthday, and it will seem like you are face to face with overwhelming opposition right now. Just when you thought it was going to be a fine climactic moment, too.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Ever feel like you’ve got burr under your saddle? How about a piece of pea gravel in your sock? How about SEVERAL pieces of annoying pea gravel in your sock? That’s what this week is like for you. Several annoying events just sort of work themselves under your skin, and, if you are not too careful, these annoying little events will get to you. Now, I’ve warned you about the minor annoyances, so what are YOU going to do about it?

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: It’s another one of those weeks when I should be talking about stability and structure for you. But alas, the planets have fallen into “evil disarray” and because of that, there isn’t a wonderful outlook. since I hear from some many Cancers, though, I will offer this little nugget of good information: the rapidly approaching lunar phase will benefit you this weekend. We call it “target acquisition” and once you’ve got that fish in sight, get ready to set the hook and reel that sucker in.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Relief should be on it’s merry little way this wee. You start out the week on a good note (at least you should), and then events just sort of build in your favor for the next couple of days. It was as if you could do no wrong. And if you do manage to offend some one, try spouting a little Shakespeare back at them–the bit from Puck. Your normal, jovial attitude is back.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: I always remember what Mark Twain said in his novella “Pudd’nhead Wilson” wherein the main character has a calendar full of pert and pithy sayings: “When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.” Virgo, my dear friend, learn some new anatomical suggestions for this week. Colorful language and counting to four will help ease some of your frustrations this week as a couple of angry planets make angry angles which result in your being angry. The good news is that this anger is quick to pass.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Plan on entertaining as much as possible this week. In fact, it’s a great week to play host to some event. Your usual gregarious nature is even more so this week. Another way to look at this, is what good time it is to find new and creative outlets that you want to explore. You’re sexy this week, you feel like a million bucks, and life just couldn’t be any easier. I would, of course, caution you about over indulgences, especially in the eating area. In other words, “all you can eat” catfish fry places ain’t such a hot idea this week, but that stuff sure is good.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: You are going to be faced with some upsetting changes in your daily routine. Now, change is usually considered a good thing, but Scorpio, for all your nice qualities, is a Fixed Sign and hence, just a tad on the stubborn side. It’s not that you are resistant to change, no, you just don’t like it when it’s not your own idea. Okay, the way this plays is out that someone suggests a change, like an editorial change, in the first part of the week. Later in the week, you have your own idea (probably REAL similar) and then, by the weekend, you are ready to implement the change. See? It all works out for the best.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: The happy archer isn’t so happy this week as a few things seem to line up against you. No matter what you try, it feels like there are certain obstacles in your way, problems like fishing buddies who can’t seem to get up on time to get to the lake before the sun rises. Not this will affect you, it’s just that your usual good luck seem to have taken a vacation this week. And it doesn’t look like there are any improvements until next week. Sorry about the bad luck on the bad timing. Be careful to not criticize your fishing buddies too much even though they are clearly inept in your eyes.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: One more idea, about this money thing that you’ve got going on… the heavens are fast approaching a point in your life where you can make or break yourself. It’s not a good time to get yourself involved in destructive habits like golf. One day, it’s just an “innocent game” and then the next week, there you are, forsaking work, relationships, braving hostile weather, forgetting poker games and poker buddies, giving up on fishing all together, just for the sake of whacking some small ball around on the golf course. I don’t get it, and your family doesn’t understand this obsession, either. Just day “no” to golf.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: With what the planets (specifically: Uranus) are doing right now, you guys are going to make the very best of fishing partners in long, long time. The reason? Uranus awakens you spiritually, and since fishing is a spiritual pursuit (remind me to tell you about the First Church of Kramer and the Blessed Boat), you lucky Aquarian will know the exact location of the fish. This week, next week, doesn’t mater anymore. With an Aquarian in the boat, two things will happen: 1] electric gizmos won’t works, and 2] fish will literally jump into the boat to make the Aquarius happy.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: I would never, ever suggest that a Pisces would be given to rash and irrational behavior. Never would I make such a suggestion. However, as this week unfolds, you will find that you are tempted, on more than one occasion, to deal harshly with an individual who really needs his or her wings clipped. There is a problem here, my fine Pisces friend, doing so will probably get your own wings clipped, too. Avoid confrontation, even though the other person really does deserve a good blasting. Remember to watch your blood pressure.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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