“[Your] wit’s as thick as Tewkesbury mustard.”
    in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, part duo (II.iv.237)

Week of: June 30 – July 6

Aries : No doubt, you’ve heard this joke, “you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose….*” and this is a nice way to tell you that you need to be a lot more careful this week, especially this week, when it comes to picking fights. Be careful what battles you choose to embark on. Me? When I’m, in this position, I stick to fights that I can win. Usually. Sounds good, anyway. But that is what you need to watch for: select battles which have meaning, not just because you feel like brawling.
*but you can’t wipe your friends under the couch

Taurus : About the only thing I have in the form advice or admonitions about the upcoming week is to watch your appetite around the picnic table. You will be very tempted to consume far too much of the good stuff like BBQ, Tater Salad, and massive quantities of fresh, home-made pie. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. So watch the urge to consume this week, especially all that good party – fare.

Gemini : I realize we’re going into a “party-party weekend” [Joe King Carasco song], but you need to give a little bit of thought to more sober and far-ranging ideas, like consider a new work-out program. I know it sounds strange, but a decent exercise plan can make fishing better. Now, I’m not saying to start this idea this week, but give it some thought.

Cancer : Another Cancer birthday. another year older. Nothing but romance in the air, too. The wedding asteroid, a feminist concept, is swinging its way through the sing of the crabby old man, so you guys are considering marriage right now. Remember that this wedding asteroid is fleeting influence, but take my advice (I have lots of experience here) weddings can be a hard thing to get out of. Expensive, too.

Leo : I usually end my monthly forecast for Leo with a succinct, “Party On!” because to fits the majestic sign so well. Now that Venus has brought her sweet self into this sign, the words could not be more appropriate, either. Enjoy the festivities this week. Have a good time. Don’t take work too serious, it’ll always be there next week when you return to your body. The Moon adds a surreal quality to the weekend, too, so have a some extra fun!

Virgo : Look, dear sweet Virgo, it’s a vacation week. Can’t you lighten up for just one little tinsey minute? Long enough to day dream some? That’s my big recommendation for you guys for this week, lighten up and dream. A little bit of time spent in the fantasy world between your ears would do you a world of good. [And it would give the rest of us a break from your incessant nagging!]

Libra : There’s a special spot, on the lake here, and I can’t ever fish there. One old fisherman already has the place staked out. it’s his special sweet spot. I’ve been there when he’s not around, and it just doesn’t work. Those fish won’t bite for me, but he always goes home with stringer full of nice,. fat little fish. You’re coming into an astrological week like that fishing hole. It’s a sweet time, but you’ve got this it just right. I have every confidence that you will.

Scorpio : I like to be able to say things like this: you will find that you mind is on wings right now, and you have flown higher than the clouds. In fact, you might be so straight thinking right now, that you could see the whole planet itself. What to do with this sort of thinking? Prepare for the troubled waters ahead because there is no time like the present to use your vision to get things ready for what might lie ahead.

Sagittarius : More changes are coming along this week! As a fire sign and inveterate party animal, this is a weekend coming up which is good for your kind of display of emotions: fireworks. Enjoy the week’s festivities. I would consider using the term “fire’ as a metaphor rather than actually doing anything with fire though, it’s long, hot and DRY summer, and you don’t want to start anything that you can’t control.

Capricorn : You know, if a Cappy didn’t have certain obstacles to face in life, then that Cappy just wouldn’t feel fulfilled. And that about sums up this week, and with all the dry weather, you are going to do a lot of worrying about firecrackers. Face it: some one had to worry about the munitions. That’s your job as we approach the weekend. Put on your little red fire fighting hat and go to it. Or, grab your rifle and find a fire fight. I can never remember just which one it is: fire fighting or fire fight.

Aquarius : You deserve a break today. So take one! You will find that the urge to play probably outweighs the urge to do anything else. This being a long, long 4th of July Weekend coming up, too, this urge to walk out of the office is really, really strong. Being the understanding male that I am, I would suggest that you consider the consequences of your actions, I mean, what will your employer say if you walk away for a week or two? Then, being the understanding Fishing Guide to the Stars that I am, I’ll tell you that you should walk away for a week or two, and everything will be okay.

Pisces : You are entering into a period of time, could be this week, could be this coming month, but during this period of time, you are set for some pretty smooth motoring. Imagine you’re on the lake, and your little trolling motor is humming along quietly, and that ought to give a you a great image for what this next week will be like. If you were a forward thinking Pisces, it would be a good time to prepare for the nasty season to come, but I’ll bet you are just going to set there and enjoy the ride in the boat.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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