7.7.1997

Week of: July 7 -13
“Is my lord well that he doth speak so wide?”
In Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing (IV.i.62)

Topwater Lures are working best this week.

Aries: Since you managed NOT to ignite yourself while playing with fireworks last weekend, I’m assuming that you think this week has got to be better. There is an unfortunate arrangement in the sky which is going to exacerbate the challenges you face on a day to day basis. Rather than being figurative rain on your metaphorical parade, though, I might just remind you what you are an Aries, and you supposed to be up to meeting this little challenges. Me? I could certainly do with a few less challenges.

Taurus: The thing to to look out for is a emotional outburst which would be kind of like a fireworks leftover from last weekend with an extra long fuse. You’ve been accused of having an extra long fuse, too, and it’s got a slow burn going this week. It might get to the point where it sets you off, as well, but only if you let it. That’s easy for us to say, but it’s a little harder for you to deal with. Some one has been bugging you, and I don’t think this is the week to clobber them even though [you were right] they thorough;y deserve it.

Gemini: As a Gemini, you should have the finest little after-glow going from the July 4th Weekend. In fact, you should be smack dab in the middle of expanding both your professional side and your social life. The good news is that you are Gemini, and as the sign of the twins, you can balance too much activity at one time. While the summer is slowing down for everyone else, you will find this week is filled with a truckload of activity.

Cancer: It’s happy birthday time again for that old Managing Editor at FGS World Headquarters. Drop Bubba a note at “BenBubba@aol.com” and let him know what a nice birthday he should have. The rest of you ought to be involved in wonderful new romantic flings. And if it is a birthday week for you, then the rest of the year looks rather delightful because there is a problem you’ve had with your boss, and that gets resolved this week. Or it should.

Leo: It’s another summer of love as we all approach the dog days of summer when it’s really just too hot to move out from underneath the old AC unit. I would tend to regard this heat as emotional heat from a supercharged situation between you and a new lover. If it’s an old lover, remember one astrologer observed that one of Dante’s Ring of Hell was populated with ex-lovers. “Don’t go there,” as the vernacular suggests. So use this heat in a productive way… Monday sets an amorous tone to the whole week.

Virgo: Virgo’s often whine. It’s a fact of life. Just like the stars keep ticking over in the heavens, Virgo’s complain about things. In one respect, this very good. A nice Virgo friend can be called the “designated complaint person” which makes it lot easier on the rest. We can on through life liking everything. The reason why I’m talking about this wonderful “critical ability” this week is because it is particularly emphasized by a strange little observed planetary phenomena. Use it wisely. Be gentle with your complaints as you prod the rest of us 11 signs to a higher good.

Libra: The week kicks off with a lot of action. It looks like you are spending a lot time hustling back and forth from the boat dock to garage to the office. See, if you “fished” for a living, the boat dock and office would be one and the same thing. Alas, not everyone can have such a gentle life. So it still looks like you’ve out a lot of hurrying back and forth to do.

Scorpio: The is an ever-present drumming inside your head, and the noise is very much like that of rainwater falling on a tin roof. The problem with this noise is that you can’t isolate it, you can’t get away from and it is driving you insane this week. The good news is that the insanity part is only temporary and you’re not going to wind up walking down the street talking to yourself. I’ll also promise that the noise in your head will stop next week.

Sagittarius: you’ve got another special week coming up! This week, the major emphasis is love. Or romance, because you are a Sag. One way, or another, it’s going to get you this week. There is a bright star on the horizon, and that is leaving an indelible mark on you. You’re ready for one of those relationships right now. But just like a shooting star, be careful that this isn’t just another flash in the sky that burns brightly and then is seen no more.

Capricorn: In the dog-says of summer, there isn’t a lot going on. You’ve got to come up with a self-help-motivational line which will not only motivate you, but also motivate those around you. It looks like you are letting other people slow you down right now, and that just won’t work.

Aquarius: Monday morning rolls in with quite the bang. I would suggest you stopping by the donut palace and picking up several dozen boxes of fried flour glazed with sugar coating to appease everyone at the office. And, if no one wants any of those donuts, you can always save them for latter. They contain three of the four major food groups, grease, refined flour, and sugar. That’s the way folks are going to see this week, too, unctuous, refined, and a little too sweet.

Pisces: While everyone else is still trying to recover from the the weekend, it is your solemn duty to go forth and and play. Look, it’s s tired week, and no one wants to work, but you have to shoulder on through this thick morass of life and get something going.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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