Week of: July 28-August 3
‘Tis a boisterous and cruel style.
In shakespeare’s As You Like It (IV.iii.31)
Aries : My fine Aries friends! Good news! Saturn, the ugly source of all your entertaining misadventures as of late is finally going to give you some relief! What’s that mean in plain English? Party time! Break out the kegs and the cakes, get ready to dance around in the moonlight naked, try for some fireworks just once more! There’s also a special fishing lure with a little concave dish at the front called a “noisemaker” and running one of those this week would be highly appropriate.
Taurus : I’ll bet you feel like you life sounds like a John Deere tractor when it’s about to drop third gear. All that threshing around that you’ve been doing will eventually yield some good results but the best bet for this week, instead of trying to shift into a higher gear, is the sit back and just peg that sucker out in second gear. Wind it as tight as you can. You’ll get there. Eventually. And a lot of the livestock will like you for it.
Gemini : A sidewinders is a great lure to be using this week, and actually, it is not much more than a sliver of metal with a hook and little bit of plastic fluff. But the idea of the sidewinders does you good, either for the namesake from the desert, or the lure I was alluding to, because neither object works directly. No straight line for you this week, either. And if you can’t catch fish the lure I recommended, you can always use it as an earring. I do.
Cancer : There’s a pretty miserable planetary configuration in the night sky which leads you to think that THEY are out to get you again. I don’t think THEY are out to get you again, I think you’re just being paranoid this week. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be looking over your shoulder from time to time because this is the week when old lovers will return, intent on making you miserable.
Leo : Break out the fireworks all over again, because this going to be one “kick in the butt” birthday party week for Leo’s. In fact, like New year’s time, when you make all those resolutions, this is the week to do your annual “year in review” and “what can I do to make next year even better” thing. The good news here is that this review process will go smoothly, and the good news is that the resolutions can stick. The bad news for Leo this week? There isn’t any!
Virgo : There was time when magic filled the air, and you feel like you touch that time right now. You are alternately struggling with a relationship woe, and enjoying the fact that this relationship feels so good. Regrettably, you can’t make up your mind from day to day whether this relationship is good are not. I’ll give you a hint: it is supposed to be wonderful right now. Whether it is or not, well, that’s up to you. Mercury and Venus are still making you talkative and beautiful this week.
Libra : The only thing that I would really watch for this week, if I were a Libra, would be compulsively spinning my wheels at work and getting no results. Or getting no apparent results. You are part of a larger conspiracy to make sure that nothing too useful gets done this week (the conspiracy was started by Leo’s because it’s their birthday week). Unfortunately, what this means is that you will be in the unenviable positron where you feel like you take two steps forward and then about thirty-seven step backwards. See what I mean? And it’s all Leo’s fault. Don’t blame me. They started the parties this week.
Scorpio : I haven’t had enough hate mail from Scorpio’s this week, so I thought I might say something mean and nasty. But the way the star look for you guys, I should say something comforting instead. I mean, you’ve got a lot of stuff pushing and pulling on your tough exterior, just begging you to move ahead with some new projects, and it looks like you are still resistant to change. Nothing too new there, a Scorpio resistant to change. Lighten up and sneak into a Leo party this week.
Sagittarius : “Men’s evil manners live in brass; their virtues/We write in water.” Shakespeare’s Henry VIII (IV.ii.46-6) And that nice quote sort of sums up this week. Look: there’s a great party going on over in Leo, and that’s a compatible sign for you. Just remember to pay the Leo host or party giver, or both, a nice compliment or two. Careful with that old Sagittarius mouth of yours, and be careful too much fun doesn’t loosen up your tongue, too, because you want to be invited back next year (rather than ejected this year).
Capricorn : While all the other signs are concerned about bait and parties, I want to talk you serious minded Cappy’s about beliefs. your beliefs. In the past few years, you have been coerced into doing little reality checks along the way, and this is, perhaps, too much reality for you. Each time you’ve wondered if it was right, if what you hold in your heart is true. Yes, it is. You’ll get sign this week, and I don’t mean an astrological sign either. It might be fortune cookie, and it might be a shooting star. You’ll know what I mean.
Aquarius : You’re thinking about moving right now. You’ve had it with the old homestead. A few months back, I told you to buy a trailer house, one that actually could roll down the highway. You didn’t listen, did you ? You never listen to me! Instead, what you are faced with this week is that old, relentless urge to move again. I told you a travel trailer would make a good home for you for the next few years.
Pisces : Minnow type jerk bait. No, it’s not a form of Caribbean cuisine, either. It’s a lure. It’s what you should be using for fishing this week. And I would also consider letting this bait run a little deeper than conventional bass wisdom allows for because you’ve got a chance at some really big strikes if you get under the surface. It’s even time to start thinking about dragging the bottom of the lake. No, bottom feeders aren’t in season just yet, but be patient.
