9.8.1997

Week of: Sept. 8-14

Aries
Week of: Sept. 8-14
I know you’re walking a very fine line, one that borders between too much work and not enough of a life, but pay heed (actually, I like it better when you pay money, but that’s another story): This is good week to continue to push forward with work. Better news is that last week’s relationship woes should have a happy resolution this week. Isn’t that nice to hear?

Taurus
Week of: Sept. 8-14
Now that the dreaded Mercury is no longer making life uncomfortable for Earth Signs like Taurus, another planet (actually, an asteroid) is stirring up the cauldron of your life with mighty powerful energy. I see this two ways: flip or fly. I’ve tried both, and I prefer flying. That means you can catch a plane to the vacation spot of your choosing this week. At least you should have that opportunity.

Gemini
Week of: Sept. 8-14
It’s a tough week ahead because someone out there, right now, is deciding your fate and the fate of something you’ve been working on. Whoever that person is, he or she isn’t working on your wavelength. You feel the opposition. If you keep chugging along — a difficult matter this week — you’ll find rewards for your effort. Mercury is going to lend you a helping hand this week, so use it.

Cancer
Week of: Sept. 8-14
Romantic relationship woes from that pesky and pernicious Mercury retrograde start to melt way as the week wears on. Of this I am sure. In fact, your relationship scene will probably hit a new high starting this week. I hope this is good news. If you’re on a Frequent Dating Program, it may not be good news for your bank balance.

Leo
Week of: Sept. 8-14
About this little love thing you’ve got going: It’s a feeling inside, but you’ve got to sing about it. You have been warned. Mercury was just doing the “Tango with my Braino” so you’re not in the best moment to work out a relationship issue this week. And marriage? Absolutely out of the question. Bob, may we have the next contestant, please!

Virgo
Week of: Sept. 8-14
It’s a perfect week for a Virgo birthday. The astrological portents this week are excellent. One small and undermining problem, though: After you’ve been dragged through the proverbial mud, it leaves a heck of a mess to clean up. That’s good news because Virgos need a challenge on their birthday week. Be careful, too, with your talking skills. Oral communication isn’t quite up for launch status, if you know what I mean.

Libra
Week of: Sept. 8-14
As the moon fills up the night sky, you feel more amorous this week. This feeling of love permeating the air makes you feel like you have fallen in love for the first time. Floating on air, darlin’. Like the birds and bees are happy making honey just for you. Better yet, it’s a good week to make improvements to the relationship arena, too. Time for upgrades, like the frequent flyer miles from all those guilt trips the last three weeks.

Scorpio
Week of: Sept. 8-14
It’s a good week to be a Scorpio. Actually, it’s a GREAT week to be a
Scorpio. If you are truly benevolent, consider buying some “Cuban-seeded” cigars for your astrology fishing buddy. Of course, that might be asking too much but the way your week looks, you will have a nice mtime being nice. Even better: Folks will wonder what you’re up to.

Sagittarius
Week of: Sept. 8-14
OK, Sagi brethren and sisterin, it’s time to visit the bookstore and cruise the self-help section. You’ve been thinking about embarking on a self-improvement journey, and it’s a good week to start. If you’re a really good Sag (and you know you are) you’ll endeavor to help other souls cruising the same aisle. In fact, a date with that attractive person perusing “Breaking the bad relationship cycles” title just might be your ticket. The fish finder isn’t too clear about the title, but you get the idea.

Capricorn
Week of: Sept. 8-14
Seems like your intellectual motor is revved up this week, a finely tuned machine. If I can convince you to do something with those bainwaves purring like a ’72 GTO in your head, then we’ll both be in fine shape. The ideas are swimming in your head, you just need a tap to let them escape, and I don’t mean using a beer bong.

Aquarius
Week of: Sept. 8-14
The week starts slow but builds to a momentous weekend. Then it gets better. A fortuitous arrangement of planets in the evening sky may just get you elected president of the Hair Club for Men or named subsitute Spanish Teacher of the Year. Ah, the things I see in the heavens… Too bad you can’t really see all of these planets with the naked eye. It’s quite a show. This is what I also see: You’re Mack Daddy of the heavens, dancing with the Moon. This sets a new tone for your weekend, you beautiful baby.

Pisces
Week of: Sept. 8-14
I always tell Pisces how wonderful everything will be this week because for the sign of the Fish Heads, it’s supposed to be wonderful. But this week, we’ll try reverse psychology: Nothing will go your way. Not Monday. Or Tuesday. Wednesday downright sucks. Thursday call in sick. Friday will be a very bad day. Nothing will work. All of your batteries will go dead. Your dog AND your cat will run away. Stay in bed. If, on the million-to-one chance things do work out, don’t e-mail me with the sordid details. I don’t want to know.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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