From: ben@dallasnews.com (Ben McConnell)
Reply-to: ben@dallasnews.com
To: kramerw@aol.com (Kramer Wetzel), APSPisces@aol.com
I don’t have that distribution list handy. Can y’all forward to the
proper folks? Thanks. B.
Week of: Oct. 13-19
“O mischief thou art swift
To enter the thoughts of desperate men!”
— Romeo in Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” (V.i.35-6)
Aries The way this week starts, anything could be better. Even being a wealthy Chinese donor in Al Gore’s back pocket could be better. And yes, there will be some things which are better, like a real sense of relief in few days. In the meantime, buckle under and don’t let the pressure get to you. Some folks call it stress, I just call it amusing. Ask my editor — he gets more worked up than I do about missed deadlines. Speaking of which, don’t miss any deadlines this week or I’ll sic Bubba after you.
Taurus I wouldn’t be using a Romeo-style introduction if it didn’t mean that romantic elements in your life are heating up. Now, I’ve lectured you about the difference between love and romance, haven’t I? You need to be careful, especially with that one relationship that’s warming up nicely. Try not to drop it in the BBQ pit this week. It needs more basting.
Gemini I’ve always liked Geminis, but you tend to fluctuate too much for my taste. Just ask Bubba: He’s been on the Gemini RollerCoaster and nearly lost his cookies because it was so topsy-turvy. And watch those fluctuations this week. You’re like a pinball game, and the cosmic flippers are poised to knock you around, bumping up against the glass and in danger of falling into the proverbial drain. To
continue with the metaphor, you are also set for a record high score this week, too. Now, imagine this
record score as a slot machine instead of a pinball game, and you can see how you might reap decent
profits.
Cancer One problem with being a Cancer is that you are like a so few animals in the animal kingdom: You like to
mate for life. Your problem this week is that you are against the odds with the “mate-for-life” ideal. Lighten up and take a hint from other critters in the animal kingdom: If you feel like you need to find that one, true love, read Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” — they were young, they were impetuous and (I hope this doesn’t spoil the surprise for you) they died at the end.
Leo Finish up your Halloween Costume. While everyone else is worried about love and romance, you need to look
after your single, most important love relationship: you + you. Sure, it’s a tad vain, but don’t worry about it. As long as you look after number 1 (that would be you, gorgeous), then the rest is just a piece of delicious cake. Go ahead and work on that costume so
it’ll be a grand-prize winner this year.
Virgo Forget the romance stuff that everyone else is paying attention to. Have you done all the preparations for
a good weekend of fishing or hunting? If I were in your boots — an amazing feat indeed — I would be getting ready for the good stuff.
Careful planning goes a long way to insure success. As you know from years of careful study and observation, planning is everything. Timing
might need an adjustment. See your mechanic-astrologer.
Libra This is the very end of the Libra time slot in the Big Tee-Vee Show in the Sky, and it’s the last time to
enjoy the party atmosphere associated with birthdays. In your case, I wasn’t joking about your love life
being a good thing. Stick close to home whenever possible, and be attached to your mate at all times. Use your good
Libra sensibility for heating up romantic possibilities using propane and propane accessories. Classical
music might help set the mood, but so would some old Willie Nelson. Or try some Half Street.
Scorpio I don’t really pick on Scorpios, I just give them a little dose of their own sarcastic humor. But with
Mercury in Scorpio right now, you find that your humor is particularly sharp, and the rest of us need to watch out. Don’t plan on this romance thing actually taking off anytime too soon, and by that, I mean this week. To thoroughly mix metaphors in the Big Blender of Writing, you have more fishing to do before your ship arrives.
Sagittarius Remember how Romeo was fatally attracted to Juliet, leading to an unhappy denouement to his life? Dead bodies everywhere. Of course, it’s no Hamlet. And it’s no Julius Caesar, either (or “Cannonball Run” for that matter). Why talk about blood when
romance and love is in the air? Just trying to warn you fellow Sagi about the possibilities and pitfalls of the love addiction. Don’t turn your life into one of these Elizabethan tragedies.
Capricorn I’m glad you enjoy challenges because that’s what this week is about: one challenge after another. The real problem, though, is with the old love life routine. Are you up for this challenge? In order to confuse you as best I can, let me explain that the relationship problem this week doesn’t have to a be a romantic type, it could be a fishing buddy who’ just difficult to get along with. No use arguing with him over the kind of bait to buy, either.
Aquarius You need to be in two places at once this week. If you happen to have any cloning technology at your disposal, now is the time to make use of it. The best plan is to get no sleep whatsoever. That way, you can actually do everything that you want to do. Two areas
of your life are hot: Finance and Romance. And rather than say, “pick one,” I suggest that you go with both. Just no sleep.
Pisces Love is where you find it these days. In fact, with all the planets pushing and pulling on you, get out and stay out as much as possible. Go ahead and sub-lease you apartment. Plan for a big week, starting on Monday, and watch as this big week brings you lots of goodies. It’s sort of like a birthday, or an early holiday. Now do something, and don’t let Romeo’s ideals get in your way.
