10.20.1997

Week of: Oct. 20-26

Change from daylight to regular time. Spring forward, fall back, or just set the clocks right unless you live in Arizona, where they don’t observe it this year. Shoot, the sun comes up at 4 a.m. and sets after 10 p.m., so why bother?

You can always let Pa Wetzel know that you think this this tail end of Libra is a happy birthday time for him. Fax those notes to (214)521-0259.

And speaking of time, ever thought about a Half Street CD? The drummer is a Virgo, you know…

Aries
Burrow into your home this week. I know, I’ve been talking about work as it relates to career options, but this week? Forget that stuff at the office and clean the double-wide. With two big romance indicators playing fast and loose (that would be Mars and Venus), you can expect fun to barge into your bedroom any time now. Make sure the homestead and truck camper are ready.

Taurus
This just in from the FGS Newsroom: Romance is heading your way. Please, for the benefit of the rest of us, don’t do the typical Taurus thing and avoid it. You’ve been the subject of that story too many times. Try something different: Grab it with both hands and hang on for a good ride. Y’all just don’t get many nice days like this. It’s like finding that sweet spot on the lake where the fish jump onto your stringer.

Gemini
A boatload of romance stuff happening in Sagittarius is bound to rub off on you. It must, right? Any way you slice up the week, like filleting a nice catch of the day, you are bound to hit the meat of romance. You’ve got to get out more, and that seems to be the problem. It’s a good week to prowl.

Cancer
While other signs are concerned about romance, let me call your undivided Cancer attention to the little world o’ work. Romance isn’t for everyone this week. Despite the nice influence of the planets, you risk a greater-than-average chance of catching an unlikable disease this week. Therefore, isolate yourself at work. Just you and the computer, the Squareheaded Significant Other. Trust me on this, you’ll benefit from the isolation. Maybe you can start a romance with your computer if you haven’t already.

Leo
Once upon a time, before there was water, I used to live in Arizona. I remember the Orange Blossoms in their groves out in the desert and every spring when that heady and sensual aroma of the orange trees in full bloom infected my sinuses. I was useless. Same thing for you this week, only different. A stick of exotic and metaphoric incense is infecting your olfactory ability, and all you can think about is the lighter side of love. Coming or going, one way or another, it’ll gitcha-gitcha-gitcha.

Virgo
Personally, and with good Virgo sentiments, you probably think love and romance are overrated. You shouldn’t be lonely or blue, despite what the planets say. Pour your devotion toward business and quit wasting time on love, which is nothing but a cruel hoax concocted by a vengeful god. Look at all the tortured souls out there who know that love is a battlefield. Ask yourself, “Self, do I really want to step on one of those love landmines?”

Libra
Imagine a sunset, a romantic one. As it slowly sinks into the West, you feel the flames of passion. OK, so much for the lyrical stuff. Reality check: It’s time to put romance aside while the Sun gradually eases out of Libra and sneaks into Scorpio. Get your head on straight and tend to matters at the office, and I don’t mean affairs at the office, either.

Scorpio
Say hello to Scorpio! Mid-week is Scorpio Time, and you can come out from underneath that rock you’ve been hiding under for the last few weeks. Really! Spend Monday and Tuesday sharpening up that Scorpio wit, and strut your stuff as your time arrives. Of course, we all hope it’s a surprise party, but anything will do, right? And where is that surprise party going to be? Alaska? New York?

Sagittarius
Plan on romance being the focus of your attention. If you’re a single Sag, maybe you should romance some fish. That’s not a bad idea, all things considered. Pisces is a lovely sign. However, the week begins with a fortuitous alignment between the two love planets, Venus and Mars, and that means you’ll be feeling like making some romance yourself. Me? I’d rather fish. Those bass out there fear me. Or love me.

Capricorn
Because of an alignment in the heavens, this romance theme that’s gripping everyone and everything might overwhelm you a little. Or a lot. Depends. But it’s a good time to sort out relationship problems while alone. To do this, I recommend an extended period of time either in a boat, with a hook dragging in the water, or in a duck blind, or maybe in a deer blind. But you get the idea. Time for some outdoor sports while you think about this romance thing.

Aquarius
It’s one of those times when you need to listen to the little voice in your head. Your subconscious is trying to get a message through. The downside is that if there are too many little voices in your head, you need stronger medication. Sort out those signals, fine-tune the ham radio in your brain, and zero in on the one message that’s most important. Sure enough, it’s an answer to a love question this week.

Pisces
I don’t know you anymore! All you fishes are avoiding the central theme for this week, exacerbated by the alignment between Venus and Mars. It is supposed to be good for you. It’s supposed to be a wonderful week. Love is a many splendored thing. Go and find some lyrical love poetry to soothe yourself. I recommend works from the 17th century, in English, for Pisces this week. Something with rhyme and meter to help you feel better.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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