Week of: Oct. 27-Nov. 2
“Marry, sir, half a day’s journey; and I’ll tell you, he hath
a fair daughter, and tomorrow is her birthday; and there are princes and
knights come from all parts of the world to joust and tourney for her
love.”
— First Fisherman in Shakespeare’s “Pericles,” Act II, scene i.
Watch as we all do something special for Ma Wetzel’s Birthday. Fax her
at 214/521-0259.
Aries With the Sun in Scorpio it seems that everyone is sneaky and subversive. Use your critical judgment. I would never suggest that an Aries tends to “shoot first and ask questions next week” but this week, use your critical thinking on problems at hand. Old standards work well. Consider your options before jumping on the first schmuck that comes along.
Taurus You bring a certain intensity to everything you touch this week. One of my favorite t-shirts says: “Women want me; Bass fear me.” Of late, though, this has been modified to, “Women laugh at me, and so do the bass.” How is that going to help you? Look at the first version, and figure your life is like that this week. You are desired, sought after, and your enemies are scared. Now kick some butt, Chuck Norris!
Gemini That dang ol’ James Bond — he was a master secret-keeper. Not even the evil Pussy Galore could pry Britain’s top secrets from his lips. The problem Geminis are dealing with this week is the same thing: Secrets for and kept from you. And these are apparent secrets, not even the real thing. Just like a double-agent thing. I wouldn’t worry much, but there is trouble on your personal horizon. If I were a good Gemini, I would get into that special Aston-Martin — the one with an ejection seat and machine guns — and go for a long drive. Let the secrets settle themselves out.
Cancer Choices, choices, choices. You have a lot of them this week, and from what I know about Cancer Lunar types, you will make a good decision. Use your bountiful creative energy — it’s the key to making to the right choice. Play artist this week. That means, get out the black turtleneck sweater and head down to the coffee shop for a Clove cigarette and a triple-double-tall non-fat.
Leo As luck would have it, it’s a lucky week for you. Perhaps you don’t “feel” lucky, but the lucky breaks will find you. After what you’ve been through, this is welcome news. Now for the downside of this lucky streak: it doesn’t look like it’s a big guy with a fat check. We’re talking about different kind of luck here.
Virgo One word for this week: romance. That dirty old sock of love hasn’t left you alone. You might need to clean those rose colored-glasses you love to wear early in the week, then put in your contacts later on. Or as that tee-vee Texan, Dale Gribbel would say after raising his mirror shades, “Open your EYES man! Don’t you understand what this is about? It’s code for alt.conspiracy.black.helicopters.” Or something like that.
Libra It’s a Monday morning to hate. That’s the worst part. After that, the rest of the week gets better like a slow climb up a tall hill — an ant hill. Cautions this week include public transportation. Crowded places are too crowded. Working alone, especially early in the week, bring you just rewards. Like your own seat on the train.
Scorpio Happy Birthday to you dark and secretive types. And speaking of secretive, that big party we planned might not really happen. Are you ready for that? I don’t want to introduce any paranoia into your head nor tell you to check out alt.conspiracy.black.helicopters, but this is a week when it’s a good thing to look over your shoulder.
Sagittarius You begin the week with the love planets doing the Masochism Tango in your sign. That’s the good news, or the bad news, depending on your relationships. With the Sun in Scorpio, intensity of feeling magnifies feelings of love. Do something with this energy, like boogie all night. The one thing I advise against, in a tender moment, is to turn to your fishing partner and tell him how much you love him. He won’t understand.
Capricorn Turn up the heat on an affair at work. This message can be taken two ways, and I mean it two ways. It can be a business deal, like a new car, or it can be love amongst the cubicles. Either way, this is what you might be looking for. As usual, the standard disclaimers apply: your mileage may vary, void where prohibited by law, etc.
Aquarius Last week, you were trying to be in two places at once. This week, you are more centered, and you can be in the single place that you need to be. Listen to that voice in your head because you have good ideas — as long as you forge ahead, you can hammer out the details to make it work.
Pisces Get yourself off to a good start this week. You have a chance to get a new deal going. I hate to sound like a tired Democrat, but getting
something started now will bring beneficial results, even fund-raising coffees might do YOU some good. In case you are a tad impatient this
week, these results can be realized pretty quickly, too. There’s nothing under the sun which can’t be cured by the liberal application of money.
