11.17.1997

Week of: Nov. 17-23

Aries
Last week was sensitivity training for men. This week, it's time for the womens. Your assignment: Sports metaphor. It's an effective literary device for communicating feelings. Put your feelings in terms that he can understand. Occasionally study the sports page in the paper, or listen to John Madden's grunts on Sunday football tee-vee. For instance, you could try, "You know, Bubba, when you took me to dinner to Hooter's for our anniversary, well, it hit me like a blitzing linebacker. It was like, 'boom!' Now I'm suffering from a mild concussion." You get the idea. A little cooperation on your part will go a long way.

Taurus
This week is the final arpeggio of the Sun in Scorpio, which is opposite you. Let's talk cycles: You're wrapping one up. Like a X-mas gift you purchased ahead of time, it's time to put on the final wrap. Figure out where you've been, what's working and what doesn't. Be prepared to let go of those situations, probably romantic, that don't work. It's not all bad, just unsettling, like rocking the boat while wearing roller skates.

Gemini
A great day of reckoning is coming, and I don't mean a big correction in the stock market. More about that as time progresses. What's important this week is to prepare for reckoning day. Alas, it's time to get into the holiday mode. You're probably playing host to family and friends right now, so concentrate -- as much as you can -- on cleaning up the homestead. Since the official holiday season starts next week, you need to have everything in order.

Cancer
Early this week, or maybe late last week, you had/will have a sudden insight, like being hit on the highway of love by an 18-wheeler. And, once again, you will find yourself squashed flat. I'd say you are pretty well stuck. The problem with being so violently struck down in the prime of your life by the tractor-trailer of love is that so much is happening right now that you might not have the energy to deal with work. Your co-workers might find you a little unbearable.

Leo
Just working away, that's you. You can feel the momentum for the holidays approaching, gaining on you like a party train running at full throttle. Take heart: It's the last week of the mundane schedule you've been forced to keep. Soon you'll be able to board the holiday party train for which you have a lifetime pass. That should be good news. Possibly great news, but we have to get you through this week first.

Virgo
As the weekend approaches, you find yourself like that old song, "Love Struck Baby." This is a fleeting influence, however. But just like our Stevie Ray Vaughn musical notation for the week, it's strong. However, the song that's so thoroughly evocative of your feelings this week was written by a musician who was noted for his blues. I don't want to worry you, but this strong feeling of love my evaporate just like some lovers do. Come next Monday, it might be gone. More like Hit-And-Run Baby."

Libra
It's a good week to wrap up financial dealings. In fact, it's a great time for this. You have a few odds and ends left over, so leave the spurious bits of this and that, the senseless details, to others who are more qualified. Stick to what you know. In some situations, make that "stick to who you know." You know? In my cynicism, I would never talk about how nice a relationship will be this week. But there's the good news.

Scorpio
As of this weekend, the pejorative effect of the Sun riles other signs, namely, those pesky Sagittarians. But until the weekend, keep your Scorpio head out of trouble. Be prepared to duck. Be careful with your driving. You don't need to run over the neighbors' begonias. But when the weekend gets here, get ready to cut loose!

Sagittarius
This weekend marks the beginning of the goods times for the party animal in every Sag. It's a month-long spree of unabated pleasure for the sign of the half man, half horse. Wait until the Sun is firmly in your sign this weekend, though, because premature parties yield emotional discomfort. That means spend as much the week fishing, alone, and wait until Saturday to play.

Capricorn
Starting on Monday, you get the luckiest boost, and it lingers until Friday. After that, you're on your own. While the message couldn't be much simpler, I know you like a little obfuscation, so here goes: The two love planets are slow dancing this week in your sign. This is topped off by an interesting alignment of a great god and a lesser goddess in the sky, but both are doing it pretty well. All this dancing in the night sky results in love-life harmony.

Aquarius
You can feel vague rumbling, similar to the feeling after a gigantic Tex-Mex repast. These deep rumblings are telling you that something is approaching on the horizon. It's too far out to see whether it's the pickup truck of love or the pickup truck that monitors the tow-away zone. A developing situation at work makes extra demands on your upcoming holiday time. Plan on taking the computer home with you. I hope you have a laptop, or, if you are really cool, palmtop.

Pisces
There you have it: Everything goes well until the weekend. It's a great weekend to do something different, like work. Plan on spending time at home, working. I can see it now: You with the laptop on the coffee table, wired into the phone, tee-vee remote in hand, munching on chips and swilling a beer. There's no other way to deal with this workload, is there?

Week of: November 17-23

"You can never have too many nudes in your living room."
Henry Tarin, owner of Big Bertha's Bargin Basement.

I was shopping for art. Rather, I was looking for a decent Hawaiian shirt to add to my collection, but upon entering this tidy thrift shop, I discoverd a mother lode of classic art: Black Velvet. And like Henry said, one can never have too many of these classics hanging on the walls. Of course, there was no Black Velvet Elvis, but the all the same.... Henry's store is located deep in the heart of South Austin, at 1050 S. Lamar. Too bad he doesn't have a web page for some of his fine, collectable art, some of which is now hanging on my wall.

Aries : Last week was sensitivity training for males. This week, it's the ladies' turn. The idea of sports metaphor for communicating feelings is an effective literary device when dealing with males. Try to put it in terms that he would understand. Occasionally study the sports page in the paper, or try to listen to it on TV. I realize this is boring stuff, but you get the idea, I hope. A little cooperation on your part will go a long way this week. However, just talking about the cute appendages the football players have doesn't always make points with guys.

Taurus : This week is the final throws of the Sun being in Scorpio, which is opposite you. Let's talk cycles, because you are wrapping one up. Like an Xmas gift you have purchased ahead of time--it's time to put the final wrap on the goods. Figure out where you've been, what is working, and what doesn't work. Be prepared to let go of those situations, probably romantic, that don't work. It's not all bad, just a bit unsettling. Sort of like rocking the boat.

Gemini : The good news, there is a great day of reckoning coming along. And it's time to get into the holiday mode, as well. I realize that you might have to play host to family and friends right now, so concentrate, as much as you can, on cleaning up the old homestead.Since the official holiday season starts next week, you need to have everything in order. Drag out your old tacklebox, and get all you lures lined up and facing the right direction. You get the idea, I hope: tidy up.

Cancer : Early this week, or maybe it as really late last week, you had a sudden insight. Like being hit on the highway of love by an 18-wheeler. And, once again, you find yourself squashed flat by this event. I'd say you are pretty well stuck. The problem with being so violently struck down in the prime of your life by a love tractor-trailer is is that there is so much going on right now, you just might not have the energy to deal with work. Remember, your coworkers might not share your rose tinted glasses right now.

Leo : Just a working away, that's what you do. You can feel the momentum for the holidays approaching. You can see it gaining on you. And, this is the last week of the mundane schedule you've been forced to keep. In a little while, very soon now, you can begin to get ready for all the holiday cheer which will be making its way into your sign. That should be good news. Possibly great news, but we have to get you through this week first.

Virgo : As the weekend approaches, you find yourself like that old song, "Love Struck Baby." This is a mere, fleeting influence, however. But just like our musical notation for the week, it's a strong feeling. I must add, however, that the particular song which is so thoroughly evocative of your feelings this week, was written by a musician who was noted for his Blues. Tel me where his statue is, and I'll send you a free "El-Cheapo" astrology report. I don't want to worry you, but this strong feeling of love my evaporate just like some lovers do. Come next Monday, it might be all gone. But the report will still be there.

Libra : This is a good week to wrap up some financial dealings you've got going on. In fact, it's a great time to do this. You've got a few little odds and ends leftover, and I would leave the spurious bits of this and that, and the senseless details, to others who are better qualified to look after this sort of thing. Stick to what you know. In some situations, make that "stick to who you know." If that last message was too cryptic, don't bother asking me for details. In my cynicism, I would never talk about how nice a relationship was going to be this week. But there's the good news.

Scorpio : As of this coming weekend, the pejorative effective of the Sun moves onto rile up other signs, namely, them pesky Sagittarius types. But until the weekend gets here, keep your Scorpio head out of trouble. Be prepared to duck. And be extra careful with your driving. You don't need to run over any neighbors' begonias at a time like this. But when the weekend gets here, get ready to cut loose! It's party time for Scorpio, then.

Sagittarius : This weekend marks the beginning of the goods times for the party animal in Sagittarius. It launches a month long spree of unabated pleasure for the sign of the half man, half horse. You need to wait until the Sun gets firmly in your sign this weekend, though, because any premature parties will yield some emotional discomfort. That means spend as much the week fishing, alone, and wait until Saturday before you get ready to go and play.

Capricorn : You guys get the luckiest little boost this week, and it starts on Monday but it has lingering effect until Friday. After that, you're on your own. Now, the message couldn't be much simpler, however, most Cap's like a little obfuscation, so here goes: the two love planets are doing a close dance this week, in your sign. This is topped off by an interesting alignment between one of the great gods of the night sky, and one of the lesser goddesses, but both are doing it pretty well. All this dancing in the night sky results in some harmony in your love life.

Aquarius : You can feel some vague rumbling, sort of like that feeling you get after a truly delicious Tex-Mex repast, and these rumblings down in your gut are telling you that there is something on the horizon. Just what it is, we will all have to wait and see. There is a developing situation at work which is going to make some extra demands on your upcoming holiday time. Plan on taking the computer home with you. I hope you've got a lap top, or, if you are really cool, palm top.

Pisces : There you have it: everything is going along really well until you get to the weekend. This would be a great weekend to do something different, like work. In fact, plan on spending some time, at home, working. I can see it now: there you are, laptop computer on the coffee table, wired into the phone line, and you, with a TV remote in hand, munching on a some chips and swilling from a can of beer. There's just no other way to deal with this work load, is there?

all about Kramer Wetzel

Kramer Wetzel

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