Week of: Dec. 15-21

“Dreams are toys;
Yet for this once, yea, superstitiously,
I will be squared by this.”

— Antigonus in Shakespeare’s “Winter’s Tale” (Act III, scene iii, lines

Aries While sugar-plum fairies dance in the heads of most other, lesser signs, you are imminently practical and getting work done. That’s the upside. However, your three-month astrological check-up (from the neck up) starts at the end of the week. While everyone plays and goes to parties, you need to take a few minutes out of your hectic holiday schedule to assess what direction you are going. And I mean right now. It’ll be like changing the oil in your truck, if you know what I mean.

Taurus Speaking of good times to be had by all, it’s another good week for the bulls, even if the stock market is acting like a bear. If you try to tell me how dire things are, I will not listen. If you persist, I will be forced to recite Dr. Suess rhymes to protect myself. A fortunate line-up of the stars late in the week helps you over the hump, so you’ll ride these holidays out with good cheer. Or maybe with a good chair.

Gemini Mercury and the Sun do a dance this week in your sign. In some terms, this would be referred to as “up close and personal” or “intimate.” Call it what you will but once the Sun flies past Mr. Mercury, you find yourself in a better position. This whole retrograde thing is a mere dream, right? I hope you don’t sign any formal documents this week.

Cancer The problem with being a Cancer is that you have a shell that you are tempted, time and again (and with good cause, I might add) to retreat into. That’s the way this week works out. You start off strong and confident but gradually your confidence erodes like a poorly designed roadside geological cut that the highway department overlooked. By the time the weekend gets here, you’ll probably be following that famous roadside sign’s advice: “Look out for Falling Rock” (which shouldn’t be confused with Rolling Rock, a beverage).

Leo This is a tough week. Tough to say anything nice about it. It’s not like you don’t want to be a party animal, it’s just that you don’t FEEL like one. Several astrological influences are affecting you, and while the upshot of all this influence is ultimately for the best, it just doesn’t feel so hot to be in your paws this week. Maybe that’s a clue, too, that you need to give an everything a moment’s pause to reflect.

Virgo The problem with Mercury is that it is often closely associated with your sign. As such, the characteristic need for order (that you so often demonstrate) is stressed out by this little Retrograde thing. Eschew the constant march for perfectionism this week. Remember two rules once passed on to me by a wise teacher: Rule 1: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule 2: It’s all small stuff. Following these rules will help you cope.

Libra The week gets off to rousing start and then, by the weekend, you just feel like you need extra time in bed, asleep. Some would say that this is a reaction to a planetary influence. I say it’s because you have an occasional lazy streak. With the planets lined up the way they are, it’s OK if you oversleep once this week. Don’t push yourself hard, either. I mean, it is the holidays, you know.

Scorpio Ever notice how fast change can occur? One minute, everything is great, and the next, it’s like watching Spanish soap operas on tee-vee. You can make out some of the words, but not all. You get the general gist of things, but not the whole enchilada. Things move along, but you can’t seem to follow everything. Get the picture? Probably not. The deal is this: everyone around you seems to be speaking in a foreign tongue. Don’t try to translate, just stick to what you know.

Sagittarius I was tuning the Sagittarius Astrology Fish Finder for this week and came up with some interesting information. Send me a note and let me know that everything will be OK. Mercury is retrograde and Pluto is doing a number on me. All early-degree Archer-types are having troubles with bows and arrows this week, so be compassionate. We need all the roadside assistance we can get.

Capricorn Say goodbye to Mars and hello to Lady Luck. Under the “not-so-benevolent” influence of Mercury in your Solar 12th House, you feel a little under the weather like being in Fairbanks, Alaska, during a week like this. It’s not a pretty sight. Or site. The operative word is “frozen.” Now, before you send me weather reports, think about it. In fact, I urge you to spend as much time as possible “thinking about it” because that’s what you do best this week.

Aquarius Mars brings a cutting edge to all that you do. And Mars lines up nicely with Venus to make this cutting edge sharper (but no Yuppie toy store Sharper Image jokes). Get out the old address book, and look up long lost loves. Send them a postcard. Tickle their fancies, while being prepared for someone interesting to tickle yours.

Pisces This is the last tee-vee sitcom metaphor I will ever use with you. I promise. Well, at least for a little while. The series I refer to this week was about a family called Robinson, and they were “Lost in Space.” I would stick to this allegory for the week rather than “boldly going where no one has been before” because the lost part fits better.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, and there might be, maybe, a material connection between the hot links and this site (sometimes). Reply via e-mail.

© 1993 – 2023 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c. astrofish.net: breaking horoscopes since 1993.

It’s simple, and free: subscribe here.

Next post:

Previous post: