Week of: 10/11-17

    “Ay me,” quoth Venus, “young, and so unkind?
    What bare excuses mak’st thou to be gone!
    I’ll sigh celestial breath, whose gentle wind
    Shall cool the heat of this descending sun.”
    in Shakespeare’s Venus and Adonis lines 187-190

And the cool weather has finally arrived?

“October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.” Mark Twain.

The history of the West Texas township of El Paso is long and infused with numerous cultural clashes. The original name for the Cuidad Juarez was “El Paso del Norte” because it was the pass to the North (some imgination there), and what is now Ft. Bliss was named “The Post opposite El Paso.” In 1854, the name was offically changed to “The Post at El Paso.” Ft. Bliss has an integral part in the history of the area. For a chance to win a free chart interpretation, custom crafted in a covered wagon, and delivered via e-mail, let me know who or what Ft. Bliss got its name from, and perhaps a side note about the irony of the namesake.

I’m heading out this coming weekend. If you’re in West Texas and New Mexico, you can catch me at the event listed in the travel section, down El Paso way. If you don’t want to pay the entrance fee, try telling them your on Kramer’s Guest List — usually works for me.

Aries: One of the problems with being Aries is that you often accused of rushing headlong into a new endeavor without thoroughly examining the possible implications, ramification, and ultimate outcomes. Nope, my fine Aries fishing buddies, they just load up the boat and go. It does remind me of the time that we wound up by Caddo Lake, in a place called “Uncertain.” And of course there is much joking about the name, but that’s the town’s name, all right. “Where are we?” “Uncertain.” “I know that, but where are we?” “That’s the name, boy, ‘Uncertain.'” It’s in Harrison County, if you care to verify this datum. You’re also going to feel like you’re stuck in a comedy routine in Uncertain, Texas, this week. Just don’t jump to hasty conclusions and don’t irritate the local people. Hate for you to wind up as fish bait.

Taurus : Sometimes it’s the slightest variation, a minute change, that can make a bad situation feel better, even if it’s only for a moment or two. And that’s what this week is like. It’s like that first afternoon in Texas when you realize that the thermometer is not going to top a hundred. Fall is here. It’s like that first morning when you actually have to put on a shirt before going out because it is noticeably cooler. In my case, this often means I have to really pull on a pair of cowboy boots because barefoot is no longer acceptable. While these are minor changes for some people, in fact, there are whole groups of folk who will just let all this weather stuff pass, it is an excellent example of what it minor, barely detectable things are going on that will make your sign feel better this week. Maybe some of these are giant billboards on the highway of life, but sometimes, all it takes is a little signal.

Gemini : We should play fast and loose with the Gemini game of life this week because there is relatively minor influence that indicates a small degree of improvement in the Twins department. And after the last weekend, just judging from my own, personal experience, any thing hopeful for a Gemini is a good thing right now. There’s always that one special Gemini out in West Texas, and if you’re not familiar with this part of Texas, it’s the northern tip of the Chihuahua Desert. It ain’t exactly a high density place to live. And there are portions of it where it’s so flat you can see clear into next week. If that one special Gemini out there was busy looking at next week, instead of suffering through last week, she could have seen this distinct improvement. You don’t have to be in West Texas, but you might feel like you’re there early this week. Keep looking forward, though, because it is getting better — you should be able to see it on the horizon.

Cancer Cancer: My history may be a little off, but I’ve been assured that Texas can divide into five or seven separate states, and thereby increase its representation in the U.S. federal government. And you’ve got an itch to do the same thing this week, but you had better check the facts out before you pursue some sort of legal action. No, I don’t think you will really want to secede from the nation, but you might fell like that sort thing is going on this week. If it’s not the Sun in Libra hitting you, it’s the Moon, creeping around towards full. Maybe that should be a “fool” moon. And if it’s not either one of those affecting you, it might be Mars, just fixing to go into Capricorn, on the opposite side of the wheel. One way or another, you feel like dropping out. But Texas hasn’t really seceded yet, and I doubt that you should try that, too, even though you might feel like it this week.

Leo : I want you to consider romance right now. One of the best selling book genres of all time has proven to be of the “Romance” variety. If I could just get the plot idea down, I really should be writing them. I think it’s pretty simple, boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy leaves girl. Girl gets boy back. Pay attention to the last part of that. Imagine yourself in steamy, gothic, southern romance novel right now. The setting can be historical, if you so desire, and just to add some flavor, there is some bad characters associated with the plot, too, usually, a ne’r do-well from up North. In case you have forgotten, the novel ends with everyone living happily ever after. Your week should end like, as long as you stick to the Southern Gentlemen and the nice Southern Belles. Leo’s deserve some genteel hospitality right now.

Virgo : Being a mutable sign, like you are, change is considered to be a good thing. But from one mutable to another, I feel much better when I think the change is something that I thought up first. If it’s my idea to change something, then it’s a good thing. Regrettably, this week, you have some one else thinking up changes for you, and that’s not such a wonderful idea. Probably won’t go over too well in Virgo land, and for that, I am deeply sorry. The good news, and yes, there is some good news attached to this message, is that some of the change is going to work for you. You’re not going to like it at first, but there is a chance for some of this to put you in a better place. Being the ever hopeful sort, I figure that there is a one, two step punch thing going on. First, your lover bails on you and then, a better model appears. What a week for a Virgo.

Libra : Libra land is full of mirth and celebration this week. There are many good things going on in your chart right now. There’s one, small problem area, and it looks like an oil leak to me. I’m not talking about a major oil spill, just a tiny little bit of seepage from around the valve cover gasket. Of course, if you live in Austin, that sort of environmental damage is considered a terrible social “faux pas” in certain circles, and yes, there’s even a sign up at one local hang out advising leaky cars not park on the dirt parking lot — no dribbling oil. But other than an automotive problem, I don’t see much else that’s going on. And that little rattle, squeak or leak can be fixed. Besides, it is the birthday week for a lot Libra’s, and that means you should be riding around in chauffeured limousine. Let some else worry about the problems with your truck right now.

Scorpio : It’s been attributed to Boethius, and it’s a good quote just for Scorpio for this week: “Nothing is miserable unless you think it so.” I just wish I had that in Latin so I could look erudite. Now, with the Moon and Mercury setting a tone for the week, it’s your highly tuned Scorpio brain that will be a problem. Brain power is the big deal this week. Use it wisely. It’s like this guy I don’t fish with anymore, because he kept assuming he wouldn’t catch much. If you think like him, you won’t catch much this week. A better outlook, a little more positive, just for this week, and you’ll do okay. Try and imitate some other signs, if only for the week, because the better your attitude, the better your chances are of doing well this week. It might not be a record catch at the lake, but you can still amaze your friends — and opponents.

Sagittarius : Mars is in its finally stages of getting out of the sign of the Archer, and this might be a small degree of welcome relief. It’s not like Mars is completely unwelcome, it’s just that he’s been kicking Sagittarius around some. It’s a good thing a decent Sag can roll with these kicks. Now, as Mars moves over to harass the Capricorns, Sagittarius can get about some serious business. There is the oddest little “love” thang going on between two planet like objects in the Archer’s sky, and this energy, while not very pronounced, can be a good hint in what direction your week will go. Of course, being a Sagittarius, hints and subtleties are frequently lost on us. It’s up to you to make use of this gentle influence.

Capricorn : The end of the week, perhaps it’s more like the end of the weekend, and you feel a shift in planetary energy. Being the decent person that you are — and I won’t tell your little secrets — this shift makes for a time when you turn from “irritable and lonely” to “irritable and affable”. Even unflappable. Of course, you will notice that there is a certain kind of excitement picking up right now, and this is the week when you get this feeling that things, nebulous reference to things, are going to get better. I was wonder, just as an aside, how many parenthetical comments I could sneak in. You week is like, if you know what I mean, with a collection of similar statements. Still waiting, but I’ll promise you can feel the shift coming up.

Aquarius : This is a strange week for my good Aquarius “friend.” While it’s supposed to be a good week, you’re just not too sure about what direction you are going to take. You now you have some big things coming up, or coming down, but you’re still a little unsure about the direction. I always liked the expression, “More will be revealed,” but that’s too wide open for a decent weekly prognostication. It’s that darned old Moon, and she’s kicking around in a place where you can feel a growing tension, and a growing sense of excitement, as the Moon follows her orbit around us. It’s like finding out your favorite Country and Western star will be coming to the rodeo arena near you. And the tickets go on sale, next week. The problem is, you’re ready to buy them now. Not later.

Pisces : Just chill out this week and try not to talk too much. It looks like you strained your voice. Which reminds me of being stuck on airplane ride from West Texas to East Texas with an ex. She had throat infection and couldn’t talk. It was a wonderful experience, and I’ve managed to insure the fact she will never talk to me again, even after she gets her voice back. “No, don’t say a thing, here, would you like another drink, no don’t say a thing, can I get you a blanket, no don’t say a thing, let me fetch you a pillow, no don’t say a thing….” I had her covered up with two blankets, several pillows, more magazines than she wanted, and I believe all she really wanted to do was sleep. I kept right on talking and trying to keep her spirits up. I kept trying to get the flight attendant to mix up a hot brandy and something even thought the medication stipulated no alcohol. So try to keep quiet this week, or you’ll wind up with a caretaker like me. No, don’t say a thing.

(c) Kramer Wetzel, 1998, 1999

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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