Week of: 10/18-24

“Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance”
Autolycus in Shakespeare’s Winter’s Tale, [IV.iv]

Answer to last week’s trivia question can be found in “Desert Army: Fort Bliss on the Texas Border” by Leon C. Metz (ISBN:0-930208-36-3) And to make this week interesting, give me the author’s name (singer/songwriter/guitar player and rodeo rider) for the quote found in Aries, perhaps the song title as well, and the boys in the back room will be happy to ship an abbriviated “FGS personality planet profile,” custom crafted in our West Texas “Live Bait and Guitar Shop.”

Aries : There are good days and then there are days when you should have stayed in bed. This week has no days that you should have stayed in bed. To be sure, I’ll get a note or two from one particular Aries suggesting that I have it all wrong, but the rest of you have it all right. As one singer once sang, “It’s a full moon in the western sky….” This lunar phase is going to bring some good times with it. Since we’re in October, we might as well call it a harvest moon. There’s more than Old Farmer’s lore to that name, especially this week. Wrap up something you’ve been working, a big project. For me, I keep promising to put the motor to that old truck back together, and using the Aries in my chart, it could just happen this week.

Taurus : Ever hook yourself, especially early on a cold morning, and have your thumb just bleed all over the lure? It’s nothing more than a slight flesh wound, and it’s really more annoying than painful. I’ve had more than one fishing partner suggest that the thumb in question get amputated for offending me so. But the real key, the blood that drips onto the lure, that seems to work some kind of magic. So I’m there, in the boat, holding my injured paw, cursing mildly, and tossing that bloody lure out on a cast. No self respecting bass is going to be hitting a top water plug at this ridiculous hour of the morning, but guess what? First cast, and I hook a winner. You’ve got a week with a little blood letting and then a surprise benefit. Just don’t them know our secret that it was a ham-fisted mistake.

Gemini : Every once in a long while, to a Gemini a long while can mean minutes or seconds, I need to slap you guys around a little, grab your feet and drag you back down here to planet earth. “What!” you scream at me. Relax, I’m just speaking in a metaphorical sense. Like one great movie critic suggested, “I don’t believe in violence against women unless it’s called for in the plot….” But this week’s plot might just call for a little bit of violence against Gemini’s, if you’re not careful. I don’t mean anyone is out to get you, it’s just that you have your ability to ave a dream confused with the real world. Just about anything right now would do, in order to curb your exuberance. Anything. Something. You’ve got a great weekend coming up, so try and get some rest before it gets here. It looks like you are going to be having a lot of fun, and I know that’s a welcome change — just try to keep one eye out for the reality thing.

Cancer : As the weather changes in Texas, we get these beautiful, clear days. It usually follows a cold front although, there are some folks in other parts of the world that wouldn’t call a drop from 90 to 80 a real cold front. But it is to us, and, there are parts of Texas where it get down right nippy right now. Are you ready for the upcoming months? Rather than get all caught up with the full moon madness that seems to pervade this week’s attitude, you should cast a shrewd eye towards the immediate future. It isn’t such a bad time to haul yourself over to the grocery store and lay in some supplies. I was telling you about the weather in Texas, but where ever you are, you might want to look towards getting ready for the holidays, and the first one starts in another week. Drag yourself down the Feed Store, and get stocked up.

Leo : This week is going to start on a Monday. Personally, I would take that as a bad sign. Why start a week on a Monday, that day when everyone is so unhappy? Doesn’t make much sense, but there you have it. Now, as the week gets a little older, you will find that your Leo attitude begins to assert itself. As soon as we get you past the Monday, Tuesday beginning of the week thing, your life gets better. I’m being sincere here, too, because I’ve discovered what happens when a Leo gets something misrepresented, and it’s not a pretty sight. There is a great weekend coming up. I can see you now, all dressed up and out to scare your neighbors. Despite what my detractors suggest, I still think you should win the costume contest this weekend. With the shape of the heavens, this could be the year that it happens. Every Leo deserves a first place.

Virgo : I want you to have some fun this week, and I think that means you need to decorate your Virgo cave like you care about this holiday. I know it is way too early to be putting up Christmas lights, unless you’re like me, and you leave them up year round. Get some of that fake cobweb stuff, perhaps a some plastic pumpkins, maybe the real thing, too, and make yourself feel festive. Then, as the weekend gets closer, consider some form of gathering of friends, perhaps drawing on your close circle. Why the suffer change in attitude? It’s the lunar phase and it holds a some promise for you. That, and Mars is now in Capricorn, and that means he will be lending you some strength, one way or another. Go for it, gentle Virgo.

Libra : Stop, my fine Libra friend, and hold that thought. No, not the thought in your head right now, like, “Where is that fool leading me now?” But go back to the original thought that you had, before I disturbed you. It’s been a strange week, and it’s time to do something about it now. Or it’s going to be a strange week, and you can do something about it. That may not be the words that you like to hear, but you feel as if there is something being cooked up in the back room, by the boys in the lab, and although they haven’t told you about it yet, this strange brew has something for you. Just what? That’s a good guess, but from the astrology chart I consulted for your week, it showed a creeping sense of paranoia. Not that they are out to get you, but all you seem to want to do is put on a silly mask, and scare the neighborhood kids who come to your door looking for candy. You might want to take that mask with you this week as you go to work, too, something of an antidote for whatever was brewing in the back room.

Scorpio : We are going to start Scorpio with a giant bang this year. Of course, most Scorpio’s prefer a stealth approach, naturally. But instead, get ready for the big celebration that gets kicked off on next Sunday. Yes, it’s party time in your sign, coming up in a just a few days. Couldn’t happen at a better time, either. You’ve been feeling a little blue, a little down, and perhaps suffering from jet lag. There has been one too many things, situations if you so desire, weighing heavy on your mind, and let’s face it, you need to lighten up some. You’ve taken this last week or two, a little too serious. There’s at least one big deal that isn’t nearly as big a deal as you’ve made it out to be. And I humbly suggest, because humble is the best way to approach you this week, that there will be a complete resolution to the problem. This week, even, as we get ready for the Scorpio time of the year. Give them your Scorpio, beady-eye stare, and watch as the problem melts away under your gaze.

Sagittarius : Wasn’t it Dorothy, in “The Wizard of Oz,” who just had to click her heels together and say, “There’s no place like home”? Didn’t she repeat that three time, and it worked out? A good conclusion to a fine, epic journey through a land of make believe and magic? Or was it all a twisted and tormented dream, brought on by the capricious weather? Never mind my film criticism now, nor my useless synopsis. Consider this: you’ve been ranging far and wide, perhaps like me, exploring the wide open spaces of West Texas, and you need to get yourself home. Like Dorothy’s mantra, there really is no place like home. Travel is a fine thing for a Sag, but right now, you and Dorothy need to click your heels together three time, and wait for a little magic to happen. Beats buying airplane tickets, that clicking of the heels thing, now doesn’t it?

Capricorn : We need to do a little review exercise for Capricorn this week, and this is a test of your astronomical knowledge. Mars takes almost two years to complete a trip around the sun. That would be two Earth years, not two Martian years because it would still only be one year on Mars. And there are no canals on Mars, despite what Percival Lowell thought he saw. And Mars was the Roman God of War, we steal his sword and spear to make the symbol for Mars. But he also had a lot to do with farming. I would tentatively suggest that you’ve got some farming that needs your attention this week. Something is about to be harvested. What you do with this harvest, and how you go about it, that’s up to you. But after consulting with your chart, I thought I would let you know that you need to be careful with the tools you use to harvest. There is no need for you to use scythe this week for this harvest thing. I could see swinging it around and cutting off one of your legs… so hop up inside one of them great farm devices like a combine, and use that instead.

Aquarius : The first part of this week has a few, unsettling, changes in store for you. Don’t blow your cool. Of course, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Aquarius actually “lose it,” whatever that means. And I don’t think that you’ll be too unstable in the early week, it looks more like a bar ditch on the highway of love. All you need to do when you go sliding off into that ditch is pick up the cell phone and get a tow truck out there. This is like a little excursion, a momentary set back. It’s not serious, and all you need to do is remember to have an extra $50 this week to get yourself towed. Of course, if you would just slow down a little bit, maybe pay closer attention to this “highway of love” that your on, you might not wind up in the ditch in the fist place. And, to exacerbate matters, you’re going to find yourself wondering, “Who put that bend in the road there?”

Pisces : Venus opposes you again this week. When I consulted the astrological bible, it suggested that this wasn’t a bad thing. I tend to differ a little bit, because I once got thrown out when Venus opposed my Sun in my chart. It wouldn’t have hurt too much except that the girl who threw me out lived on the second floor, and she pitched me off the balcony. The fall wasn’t bad, but the landing kind of hurt. Lord only knows what I did for that trip — she did have a lot of fire in her chart. So I would recommend that you do your level best to keep from getting pitched out the window this week. Like I’ve already noted, the fall doesn’t hurt a bit, it’s the abrupt stop at the bottom. And that’s what you need to be a little careful of this week, that sudden cessation of movement. Blame Venus, not me.

(c) Kramer Wetzel, 1998, 1999

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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