10.25.1999

Week of: 10/25-31

“O weary night, O long and tedious night,
Abate thy hours! Shine, comforts, from the east.”
Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Act 3, scene 2)

Looks like Halloween starts in earnest this week. And here I was getting ready last week.

Aries : There is a remarkable degree of insight that you have this week. Suddenly, the whole plan comes into a sharp focus. Some nebulous ideas that you’ve been kicking around (and then kicking out), come bouncing back and you’ve got a good chance to pull it all together. And, unlike the other signs, I’m not talking about costume changes. No, this is on a deeper, more metaphysical level. You’ve got an ability to see something for what it really is. What are you going to do with this clarity? I would hope that you would right it down, maybe on a piece of paper, maybe on the computer, and do you’re best to let this idea percolate. It’s like making coffee the old fashioned way: you grind the bean, and toss them in the coffee pot on the campfire; it all heats slow and steady, and then you add a drop of cold water so the grounds settle. Cowboy coffee is best if you take your time and let assimilate properly. Let this idea do the same thing.

Taurus : “But Fishing Guide to the Stars dude, you said it was going to get better!” It is, it is. Monday is not a day like any other day, and it’s a day when you are inclined to not believe a single word I say. Or type, as the case may be. In fact, you’re not going to want to believe anyone on this day. Actually, you will want to believe everything — but in your fine Taurus mind, I hope you use a degree of caution and weigh what we all say. Now, that being said, let’s look at the rest of the week. On second thought, it doesn’t get a whole lot better. Between Saturn in your Sun Sign, and the Sun over yonder in Scorpio, opposing you, it’s just not a happy week. The sole bit of relief comes late in the week, when an idea pops into your head. This is one of those ideas that seems to come from galactic void beyond time and space. Put your space cadet idea to work for you.

Gemini : You realize that everyone else is imitating you this week as we all get ready for the big weekend. People with single, solitary lives are all starting to develop a little bit of character, an alter ego, a masked-fantasy version of their lives. Most of the good Gemini’s I know, in fact, they are all good Gemini’s, are getting ready for this fantasy time as if it were another week. Let’s face some facts, you guys are used to dual nature of life, and this concept of putting on a mask is nothing new to you. The only problem your going to encounter is trying to decide just what it is that you want to be this Halloween. With the planets where they are, it looks like there is a romance issue at stake. More than anything else, that “love thang” will probably affect what it is that you want to be.

Cancer : Halloween! Candy! Treats! And the personal, Cancer favorite? Moon Pies. Why would I be carrying on about all the fattening foods that are available right now? It looks like you are going to want to spend a portion of this week sampling the foodstuffs for the coming weekend. I realize that you’re getting tired of me talking about Cancer’s and food, but I really like the allusion to that redneck delight, the Moon Pie, and I really liked the idea that you’re eating again. This week, one way or another, you get a voracious appetite, and it’s going to become your holy mission to sample as much of the sweet stuff as humanly possible. By the weekend, you might find yourself a little green from trying a little too much of the candy, but that’s not a reason to slow down. With the way the stars look for you, I would plan on having a lot of extra goodies left over, and gosh darn it, some one has to eat that stuff.

Leo : The Halloween Weekend promises to be very fruitful for you. “Fruitful?” my Leo asks. Yeppers, and you will have some fun. The only hitch to this nice prognostication for a party weekend is that getting there, you are going to discover that you don’t get what you want. You go to rent a costume, and the one you reserved last year is already checked out. You go to pull something together, and the only thing you can think of is you need to go shop for a few extra items, only the charge card is already at its limit. Now, in a situation like this, follow the lead from some other signs — although no Leo likes to follow anyone — and improvise. You’ve got a chance to pull something to together, but this time you’re going to be coerced into being a little more creative than usual.

Virgo : There is a fated feeling to this week, for you. At least it begins that way. Being the good Virgo that you are, you have some tricks up your collective Virgo sleeves and you are willing to try them — early in the week. But shortly after that, it seems like your props and tricks don’t work as well, that sleight of hand seems to fumble about half way through the gag. Nothing is worse, unless you do like one of my Virgo friends does and just ham it up a little. Act like you dropped the ball on purpose. Act like it’s part of the act. Act as if you meant to do that. It makes for a much better time, and this is coming up on a weekend where you need to be willing to laugh at yourself. And as far as that old flame is concerned? It looks like it turns into a hot cinder — but not much else.

Libra : The standard Halloween game of kids getting out and tricker treating has fallen by the wayside these days. Perhaps there’s been one or two less enlightened souls who ruined it for all of us. That’s too bad because it was something I loved as a kid. We would all pile in the family buckboard and get carted off to the “rich” side of town, the folks with big houses and plenty of goodies for us to enjoy. This is a week much like the old days when I rode in that horse drawn wagon, you might want to hitch a ride to the better side of town, and appear like a wraith on the steps of the folks who can afford to give you such pleasures. You know what I’m talking about, use your good Libra balance, and pick yourself a suitable target for getting a few succulent sweets this weekend.

Scorpio : The Moon is going from larger to smaller, and it’s time for you to do the wildest, most disturbing thing possible, consider, just for a moment, consider revealing your true, inner nature. What could be the most terrifying event imaginable for a Scorpio? Drop the mask. I know how much you love Halloween, so do something with it. This is a concept, and you don’t have to embrace it, however, this is the time that you are most likely to welcomed into the hearts of others, and you might as well make some use of this generous nature. Besides, with the annual masked ball this week, the chances are that no one would ever take you too serious. You can merely refer them back to what you said this week. I never noticed a Scorpio to be reluctant to refer back to something they said, even if it was years ago. Or lifetimes, depending on which Scorpio I’m talking to.

Sagittarius : The weekend promises to be fun. The weekend promises to hold true to its ideal of getting to be what we’re not. The scariest, and you can ask my friends about this one, the scariest costume I ever put together was my three piece wool suit, a power tie, and a bleached (and pressed) white shirt with one of those little metal clip things that holds the collar together. Frightening. I looked like a normal person on a boring day, going to work. I even borrowed a pair of loafers with the little tassels on the end. And a pair of socks (that weren’t white). It was a little bit of a shake up. Of course, that costume opened up some doors for a relationship that I didn’t know existed. My clothes, the custom cut of the suit, the fine tailoring made some people who had dismissed me as “just another Texas yahoo,” why, them clothes made them sit up and notice. But be careful because once the big day is over, just like me, you can get yourself back into what’s comfortable and the big night might be forgotten.

Capricorn : I’ve been thinking about a special gift for my Capricorn friends, particularly at a time like this. See, it’s Mr. Mars in your sign, and he’s going to make you an active person. The only problem with all this activity is that you would be inclined to run over your old friends, like myself, and all I’m suggesting is that you make some sort of an effort to be a little more sensitive to what we suggest. You’ve got the drive, and we’re trying to help, but gosh, we just can’t keep up with you right now. My Capricorn fishing buddy swiped a bunch of those pole holding things from the last off-shore charter. He’s got them glued down in his bass boat. Don’t try to get too many fishing poles going this week because something is going to break under the stress. Now, if had just asked me about how to do it, if he had been a little more sensitive….

Aquarius : I’m certainly glad we had our little talk. It seems like someone needed to sit you down and give you a ration or two of sound advice. Too bad you’re going to do the typical Aquarius thing and avoid all that good advice right now. Doesn’t much matter, things couldn’t get any more interesting than they are this week. Until next week, but that’s another story. This week kicks off with a mild dose of paranoia. Doesn’t mean that they are not out to get you, but just exactly who “they” are remains a little in doubt, perhaps a little mysterious. If you had more Pisces in you, I could shake you up with a little reference to “black helicopters” and “grassy knolls,” but that isn’t going to work for you. Don’t fret the conspiracy, or the conspiracy theory at the first of the week. It’s only a fleeting passage of momentary influences. But you had better be careful and see who is looking over your shoulder before sending me any email.

Pisces : I know it is a little too early for a decent Pisces to be worrying about scholastic matters. I realize it’s a bad time to bring up the end of the term which doesn’t occur until December. I know that it’s more than 4 weeks away. And I know that you want to get ready for the big Halloween Masked Ball. But during the week, while thoughts of Candied Yams dance in your little Pisces brain, think about wrapping up some project for the end of the school year. This is a week when a little advance planning, perhaps a trip to the library, could do you some good. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hit on a new Halloween idea, at this time, too, something that would really scare us all. You will be the belle, or beau, of the ball this weekend, so get some homework done ahead of time.

(c) Kramer Wetzel, 1998, 1999

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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